A Life With The Royal Staff
by MrsK81
Summary: Sequel to A Night With The Royal Staff. Find out how Edward adapts to his new life and if it is everything he thought it would be. Light and fluffy with no angst.
1. A Life With The Royal Staff  Prologue

****Waving** Yay, glad to see you back! And sorry to one reviewer - Elly - who asked for the prologue. I couldn't send it because you weren't signed in and there were a lot of people on FFN called Elly - sorry!**

**Prologue – A Life with the Royal Staff**

Three Years Later - EPOV

The sky was bright and there wasn't a cloud in sight. A seemingly never-ending flow of sunlight was pouring in through the window and reflecting from the huge mirrors which hung on the wall. Huge mirrors which James and I were standing in front of in the large suite. We were both dressed in our morning suits waiting for things to begin. Given it was a particularly big day, I had attempted to calm my hair from its usual style of utter disarray, but it simply wasn't cooperating. So I decided to leave it be. Completely happy knowing it was just the way Bella loved it.

The shirt collar was tight around my neck and felt uncomfortable. This was only the third time since I left London three years ago that I was in anything as formal as this. I was nervous, and my palms sweating. I looked at my brother and smiled to myself. He looked as nervous as I. With good reason. Being a Best Man for your brother is never easy at the best of times, but today... yes today was really fucking huge.

"Jesus, stop fussing with the damn thing,"

"What? I just want it to look perfect."

"Look, I get this is a big day for you two. Getting married is huge – but this should be happy occasion remember?"

"I know, but-"

"Do you love her?"

Sigh. "Yes."

"And does she love you?"

Another sigh. "Yes."

"Then stop fucking stressing and let yourself enjoy it."

* * *

><p><strong>AN - Chapter 1 is coming straight up and that shifts back to a few months after Edward's move to Forks.**

**See you in a few minutes!**


	2. Chapter 1  Edward motherfucking Cullen!

**Hi! **

**If you're here from A Night With The Royal Staff - welcome back it's great to see you! If you're not, then I would read that one first, or this story prob won't make much sense!**

**Thanks to all of you who reviewed, alerted, favourited and rec'd the first story! I can't thank you enough and I hope you enjoy this one just as much!**

**Obviously I do not own Twilight or I'd be on my private yacht in the carribean! Unfortunately Stephenie Meyer does - lucky witch!**

Chapter 1 – Edward motherfucking Cullen!

EPOV

"EDWARD MOTHERFUCKING CULLEN!"

Oh dear, what had I done this time? Last week it was leaving the toilet seat up and um... maybe my aim was a little off too. The week before I left my shoes on the stairs and Bella almost tripped over them; she definitely needed no help falling over her own feet. I was struggling to adapt to regular life that was for sure, and tidying up for myself was certainly proving a challenge. Maybe it was a Royal thing – or maybe it was a man-thing? Either way I was about to feel the wrath of Bella.

I heard her stomping down the stairs muttering, "motherfucking slob," in a particularly menacing tone. This was going to be a hard mood to snap her out of. I put on my most dazzling smile and pleading eyes and waited for her to appear in the kitchen.

And when she did she took my breath away – as she did most mornings. It never ceased to amaze me that this incredible woman was all mine. She was dressed in her white robe and her hair was a little on the wild side, but she was still as beautiful as always. Like I said, breath-taking. But this morning it was for a completely different reason because a large bundle of clothes was rammed into my stomach with a force freakishly unnatural for such a small woman.

"Ow, Bella. Jesus Christ," I grumbled and then stepped back slightly. "What was that for? What's with the clothes?" As soon as I asked I instantly wished I had kept my mouth shut because I only infuriated Bella even more.

"Are you kidding me, Cullen? It was like a fucking treasure hunt upstairs. Follow Edward's trail of dirty socks, shorts and shirts." Bella's eyes were fierce and she was a teensy bit scary.

"Well, by following them you certainly found the treasure, baby," I joked and shot her a wink, before putting my hands on her shoulders. But my attempt at charm fell flatter than a pancake.

"Don't. Get. Fucking. Smart." She growled. "I'm not even close to being done with you."

"I'm _really _sorry. I just forget there's no one around to clean up after me any more. Don't get mad, Bella." I gazed at her intently but she still looked pissed. "It's just a few clothes, baby. Please, I really hate fighting with you. I love you."

Her face softened slightly and the corners of her lips began to draw up into a smile. She clamped her hand over her eyes and shook her head. "Stop that. I'm not letting you dazzle your way out of this."

I laughed and tried to peel her hands away but she wasn't budging. So instead, I dipped my head and kissed her softly on the lips and then rubbed my nose on hers affectionately.

"Stop it. Come on, I'm trying so hard..." she protested weakly.

I ignored her and began kissing lower and lower down her neck. I smiled to myself when her body shuddered. "Are you still mad?" I whispered and tugged on the belt of her robe. Slightly pushing the fabric apart to reveal nothing but creamy white, bare skin.

Fuck she was beautiful.

"Y...Y...Yes," she breathed. "Really fucking mad."

"Ah, but I know just how I can make it up to you," I said and she finally moved her hand from her face. She was frowning but all the anger had disappeared and I knew I had her.

"Mm, perhaps there is a way you could redeem yourself." She giggled.

I kissed her again and she didn't try to fight me. Her hands latched onto my hair and she pulled me close, her tongue lightly tracing my bottom lip. I stepped back and slowly kissed my way down her body. I trailed my tongue and lips over her breasts. My hands wandered lazily down her sides and rested on her hips. Continuing to drift lower with my mouth, I brushed my lips over her naval and sank to my knees.

"And now?" I placed a kiss on her inner-thigh and looked up at her, cocking my eyebrow. "Are you still mad?"

She didn't say a word but nodded once. I slipped one finger through her folds and groaned at how her body responded to my touch.

"Fuck, Bella. You don't feel mad to me," I whispered and Bella laughed.

"What can I say? Getting pissed at you must turn me on."

I pushed one finger inside her and she gasped. I kissed her clit and then began running my tongue back and forth, and from side to side – just as I knew she loved.

"Jesus, Edward. So fucking amazing," she continued to curse under her breath and knotted her fingers even tighter into my hair.

The closer she came to her orgasm, the faster I flicked my tongue and pumped my fingers. She let out a sexy moan and I felt her legs stiffen. Then, when her inner-walls tightened around my fingers, I swear to God I almost blew it myself.

As soon as she regained some sort of control of her body, she yanked me up and pushed my sweatpants down over my hips. I picked her up and sat her on the island in the middle of the kitchen, burying myself deep inside her.

With Bella and I, the sex could be loving and sensual at times. There were times, such as this, when we both let the beast inside us loose; the passion and need completely taking control. Not once did she complain my hold was to hard, or my movements too rough. Her legs just tightened around me and her nails dug into my shoulders, silently urging me for more. I slammed harder and my knees banged against the wooden side of the island, but fuck if I cared. I pressed my head against her shoulder and tried to keep going for as long as I could. But feeling Bella climax once again was too much and I let out a growl as I came.

"Um, Edward?" Bella panted and I looked up at her. "I'm still really fucking mad." She giggled and I burst out laughing.

The ring of the phone made us both jump but neither of us were quite ready to move so we let the machine pick up.

"Hey guys? FYI, the next time you decide to have a little breakfast romp, you might want to consider closing your blinds. I have a great view into your kitchen from up here." Emmett's voice sounded in the kitchen and I groaned. "So, yeah... maybe give that some thought, huh?"

"Fucking Emmett. Once a damned pervert, always a pervert, I guess," Bella grumbled and bent down to pick up her robe. "When's he moving out again?"

I smiled and kissed her forehead. "Just a few more weeks and he'll be out of our hair. Although, I don't think Jess knows quite what she's letting herself in for."

Emmett had spent six months, as he had promised, by my side. But now, his salary would no longer be covered by my former family. Although my location had yet to be discovered by the World's press, both he and practically everyone else in Bella's family and mine, agreed it would be much safer for him to remain around for the foreseeable future.

Bella and I couldn't afford to pay him. We were by no means struggling to survive, but money was tight. Bella's wage covered the necessities – bills, food and whatever we could afford to pay back to Esme for the loan on the house. Any treats were down to me and the wage I managed to pull in.

After spending a few months in Washington, Esme was smitten. She loved the tranquillity and easygoing lifestyle and Carlisle, too, found his new job in Seattle much more enjoyable. So, they made a decision to make the move permanently. Alice and Jasper loved the hustle and bustle of London and had returned home several weeks after Bella and I moved in. They flew out regularly to visit everyone, but had no intention of moving out here just yet.

At first Esme had been content to spend her time with Renee. They shopped, brewed home-made wine and pampered themselves. But after working on the house for Bella and I, she found an itch that she needed to scratch and began looking for properties that she could refurbish and sell on.

Enter Emmett and I; we were her "labourers" and where possible, we were employed for the manual work each refurbishment required. It enabled me to earn some money and took pressure off Bella. It also got me out of the house, and gave Emmett the opportunity to keep an eye on me whilst getting paid at the same time.

We made it clear to Emmett, that the invitation to live above the garage was an open one, but he admitted he wanted to spend more time with Rose and was moving in with her and Jess. We extended the offer to Rose moving in with him, but she point-blank refused. Her words?

"_There's no fucking way I'm living in the middle of a goddamn forest thank you very much. Your house reminds me of something you'd see in a teen-slash movie."_

We would finally be getting our home to ourselves and it would only make this new life all the more perfect. Over the past few months, Forks had become so much like home to me that I wondered how on earth I'd survived all those years before this. For the first time in my life I could live as a normal man. Bella and I could go into town and visit the diner or the grocery store as locals. The only interruption came from people we were beginning to consider friends and that interruption was purely to say "hello" and ask how we were.

The majority of the town saw me as one of their own now. On the odd occasion a report would come in that I was in fact living here, they would warn me to lay low for a day or two and quickly re-buff any rumor that was flying about. The press rarely took credence in any claims from places such as this. I suppose they fully expected that wherever I was, it would be somewhere the exact opposite of a small town with little to do.

Yes, life was good. I woke up with a smile on my face; my girlfriend and best-friend lying next to me. Some mornings I was happy to watch her sleep and revel in the fact that meeting Bella proved to be the catalyst in my gaining this opportunity. I could never in a million years ever repay her for that – but I was going to try my damned hardest none-the-less.

Usually, I drove Bella to and from work as it allowed me to drive out to whichever property Esme was working on. The time spent living with Bella's parents had inspired me to learn how to cook. Renee's cooking left a lot to be desired, and once we were in our own home, Bella happily let me prepare dinner each evening. At first, Crap-a-la-Renee became Crap-a-la-Edward. But I persevered and now I liked to think I had gotten pretty damn good at it.

Some day's, though, were a little darker for me than others. I thought about the life I had left behind; although I felt no regret whatsoever, I harboured guilt about the responsibility and duty I had dumped on my brother's shoulders. I was out here living this dream life, knowing exactly what James was facing.

I worried he would eventually resent me for it, but so far so good and James was relishing this new challenge. He took everything in his stride and loved the attention. He was becoming a highly popular replacement for the elusive Prince Edward, and he thrived. We spoke regularly; after assuring me all was well, he asked about Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, and, of course, Bella. At the end of each call he passed on the best wishes of my parents, but never my Grandmother.

I had spoken to my Father twice since I left. He had never been a man of many words and despite the amazing things he had done for me, there was still an air of awkwardness between us. The history and animosity was gone, but certainly not forgotten. However, I was determined that we could put all of that behind us... one day.

Today was Saturday, so we had the day to ourselves, and once we had finished cleaning up our mess I made Bella breakfast. Of course, I forgot that Emmett had the nose of a bloodhound and as soon as the smell of food drifted out of the kitchen he was at the door in an instant.

"Thought I could smell something cooking," he said and then stopped dead in the doorway. "You have sanitised the counters right?"

"Em, seriously?" Bella shot a glare at my cousin who just shrugged.

"What? I love my man, E, but I don't want to be finding one of his short and curlies in my pancakes do I?"

"You're such a fucking pig," I muttered.

"Hey, same goes for you, Bells. I'd better not find any of yours either." He tried to embarrass Bella but it failed.

"That would be kinda hard, Em, since Rose gave me a full body wax the other night." She winked and headed off upstairs, leaving Emmett open-mouthed in the kitchen.

"There's a first – my cousin speechless." I chuckled. "There's some mix on the side, have as much as you like but clean up after yourself, okay?"

Emmett nodded and I laughed at his still shocked expression as I followed after Bella.

~x~

After I had showered, I heard Rose's laugh from downstairs and I made my way back into the kitchen. This afternoon, Emmett was throwing a barbecue for our family and friends. He would cook the food, Esme was providing the wine, so we were pretty much good to go. I had to admit, I was quite excited about it. Bella plus Esme's wine equalled very fucking horny Bella.

I saw Emmett, Rose, and Bella huddled around Bella's laptop and they were all giggling like children.

"What's so funny?" I asked and they immediately spun around to face me. Each looking like teenage boys who'd been caught looking at porn.

"Nothing," Bella said, but her cheeks flushed and I knew she was lying.

"Just tell me." I sighed and they exchanged nervous looks. "So... what is it?"

"Chill the fuck out, Edward. It's nothing. We were just reading an article online. No biggie," Rose said dismissively.

"About me?" I pressed.

"No-" she began to argue but I cut her off.

"Then why is Emmett about to burst out laughing, and why is Bella as red as a bottle of ketchup?"

Knowing he was busted, Emmett stopped trying to hold it in and his booming laugh almost rocked the foundations of the house.

"Um... you might not like it, Edward," Bella whispered and stepped forward to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. "A website is claiming to have the truth about where you are and why you left."

I groaned. "Another? Come on then, let's see it."

Emmett turned the screen slightly for me to see and I began to read. As I took in the first few lines I sighed. There had been hundreds, shit even thousands, of speculative articles about my disappearance from public life.

The official press release had stated it was for personal reasons, but never elaborated so of course the press had a field day trying to guess. Some of the assumptions had been scarily close to the truth, but luckily neither Bella's name, or Forks were ever mentioned. Then there was the down-right ridiculous stories. I was a drug-addict, I was gay, I had mental health problems, and I had been involved in drug smuggling and rather than publicly face jail-time I was sent to another country to endure my punishment.

But this article – this was the worst yet.

"_We can exclusively reveal the real reason behind Prince Edward's departure last year. The truth has finally come out, despite the desperate attempts made by Buckingham Palace to keep it silenced. A source close to the former Prince had a full and detailed revelation that will shock the world. _

_Over the past ten years, Edward has become increasingly depressed and withdrawn. During school and college he turned to drugs, alcohol and women to try and bury the confusing feelings he was experiencing and when that failed, he eventually turned to therapy to help him. Feeling so low (his family feared he may even have been suicidal), he finally admitted the truth that he was feeling trapped in his own body and longed to become a woman._

_Scared that the press and public would find out about his indiscretions at controversial nightclubs in London, in which he was seen dressed as a woman, the Royal family decided it was best to cut him loose._

_The source is still close to Edward, and tells us he is currently in a secret location undergoing gender-reassignment surgery. As soon as his recovery is complete, he has his (or should we say her?) heart set on making a fresh start in Las Vegas where he feels he will finally fit in._

_Goodbye Edward – Hello Edwina._

"Oh for the love of God," I grumbled and shook my head. "They cannot be serious?" I shut off the lap top and turned to face the others.

Rose and Emmett weren't even trying to disguise their amusement and they were doubled over with tears streaming down their faces. Bella was watching me anxiously, her teeth biting into her bottom lip.

"You okay?" she asked and I smiled.

"Yeah. It's definitely the most creative story to come out." I shrugged.

"Ooh, Edwina. You'll be so, so pretty as a lady-boy." Emmett donned a high-pitched voice and laughed at himself.

"Pay no notice to him, baby." Bella nuzzled into my chest. "You and I know that you're all man. What do you say we go upstairs right now and prove it?"

"Aw fuck – come on you two," Emmett moaned.

"Emmett, either stay here and get the food ready or shut the fuck up and get out of my kitchen," Bella told him and pointed to the door.

"Okay, we're going. I have no desire to listen to you two, I had enough of that in London thank you very much. But be warned, Emmett is all man, too. Come on babe, make me moan." Rose taunted and dragged Emmett towards the door.

"I think Rose was implying that Emmett's more man than you, Edward," Bella purred and I scoffed.

Towing her upstairs I said, "Not a chance – let's show 'em how it's really done."

* * *

><p><strong>AN - So, I hope you liked this! I was so, nervous about starting again - but hopefully...**

**I have to thank so many people so this might be a long note... **

**Prettyflour, as always, does a fantastic job pre-reading and you need to check out her stories - seriously they are brilliant!**

**Also, Jaime Arkin & TwifanMom have pimped and pimped the first story**** on Twitter, The Lemonade Stand, and I can't believe the response! ANWTRS was up for fic of the week! Holy shit! I also need to thank them for beta'ing this chapter and hopefully the rest ;)**

**Chapter 2 is almost done, so I hope to post next weekend and for all of you who review I will send you a little teaser if you want! **

**I have a few rec's this week that I am loving;**

**Unrequited - Perry Maxwell**

**Masen Days - Purely Amuse**

**Blessed Are The Forgetful - (this one is very angsty but beautifully written.)**

**See you next week!**


	3. Chapter 2  Pictionary, Wine & Road Head

**A/N - Thank you so much to everyone who has returned for some more of these two! Hope you like this chapter :)**

**Chapter 2 - Pictionary, Wine & Road Head **

**EPOV**

The barbecue was almost out and the sun had set hours ago. The light in the garden now provided by the moon and the solar lights. Despite being the beginning of August, the temperature outside was still a little cool so the heaters were on keeping us all warm and cosy.

Emmett had cooked enough food to feed a small country, and Esme had brought so much of her wine we were all leaving here tonight borderline alcoholics. But it was nice to have family around in such a casual and fun environment. My family, Bella's family, and our friends all together, all enjoying each others company.

Given the fact we were sitting outside in the middle of a forest, I shouldn't have been able to hear much besides the peaceful rush of water from the river and perhaps the crickets doing whatever the hell it was that they did to make that bizarre noise. But I couldn't hear any of that. The only damn thing I could hear was my foul-mouthed, vulgar cousin who was currently celebrating his win in the "friendly" game of Pictionary,by dry humping one of the trees in our yard.

"Yeah, baby. Who's the fucking master now, huh?" Emmett ran another victory lap around the garden before rejoining his team.

"Emmett, watch your mouth," Esme began to warn but then grinned. "You forgot to say – TAKE THAT COCKSUCKERS!"

Ever since that bloody rugby match, my Aunt found every way feasibly possible to use that word. And every single time she said it, we couldn't help but laugh. There was something fundamentally wrong with a fifty-year old woman from her "background" using the word cocksucker. Of course Bella loved it. But then again, Bella did have a fondness for several words which would not be deemed appropriate in her English class.

"Esme," Renee said, laughing, "It's just a game."

"Bah!" Bella scoffed. "You're just saying that 'cos we're fucking losing. Well, actually thanks to you, Mom, we're getting our asses kicked."

Bella was sitting at the table in full-on sulk mode. Her bottom lip was pouting, her brow furrowed and her arms folded across her chest. My baby hated losing and her team-mates weren't helping rectify that.

"Come on everyone, we can still beat them." Carlisle made an effort to rally the troops before the next person stood to draw. "We just need to win all our points here on in."

But with the team they had it was easier said than done. On one side of the table we had Emmett, Charlie, Esme, Angela and myself. On the other were Bella, Carlisle, Jess, Rose and an especially hammered Renee. She had been drinking Esme's home-made wine all evening and could barely sit up straight so her attempts at drawing had been hilarious. All I need to say is Renee, wine and a pen did not make for a good combination.

Jessica clapped her hands excitedly and skipped to the whiteboard that had been brought out into the garden. She took one of the cards and carefully stole a glance. "Oh, fucking yes! This is so easy, guys."

She began drawing what could only be described as a man's... um... penis and testicles. There was even something oozing from the top of the penis which appeared to be shooting upwards and then spilling down the sides. When she had finished, she began pointing wildly to the picture and then ran around, dramatically screaming and looking over her shoulder.

The rest of her team were exchanging baffled looks, apparently clueless to the answer. Emmett reached over and took a look at the card, and when he read it, he actually fell backwards out of his chair.

"Jesus, Edward, you've got to take a look," he roared with laughter as he got to his feet and showed me the card.

Poor Jessica. She didn't do well at school, her hair was quite literally un-tameable, and I remembered she had an extremely sensitive digestive tract. Add to that she probably had the worst drawing skills I had ever seen and yes it would seem she didn't have much to be thankful for.

"Come on, guys. AAAHHHH!" she continued shrieking at the top of her lungs and Angela began to object.

"Hey, that's cheating. Pictionary remember? Drawing, Jess. Not acting."

I gave her the card and said, "We have no need to worry, Angela. They are not getting this one."

Angela snickered as she saw the title and she, Emmett, and I sat there with smug grins on our faces. This game was in the bag.

"What the fuck? Jesus, Jess, I don't fucking know," Bella yelled, her voice laden with frustration. Losing brought out a completely different side to her and it was amusing to see. "Attack of the giant dick?"

Jess stopped running around briefly, and cocked her head. "That's not even a film, Bella. Is it?"

"Um, could it be a film about women with phobias of... um... genitalia?" Carlisle offered weakly and we burst out laughing. "Or perhaps an X-rated film..."

"Huh? Like porn?" Jess asked in confusion before Rose's head snapped up enthusiastically.

"Well, if it's porn then let me jump straight in because Emmett has every DVD known to man in his collection. I've got this one nailed, guys, no problem." Rose jumped up to her feet and began reciting title after title. "_The Cumming Man, Dude, Where's My Dick?, Hallopeen, Deep-ass Impact, Robin Hood – Prince Of Pussy_. Got it – it's _Cum Like It's Hot_... right?"

Jessica looked at her friend in disbelief before shaking her head. "No, Rose! Look what I'm doing, 'aaaahhhhh'." And with that she began running around again, her hands flailing around her head.

"_Cum Like It's Hot?_ Ooh, we've got that one – right, Charlie?" Renee giggled and winked suggestively at a mortified looking Chief Swan. "It's the one with the Chef and the naughty, naked waitress. Esme, you have to watch it. There are some very saucy scenes, and let me tell you it certainly inspired us. We needed to replace the kitchen table after that night."

Charlie choked out in horror and everyone besides Emmett tried their best to stifle the laughter. But of course, my cousin didn't care and just guffawed loudly. "Niiiice, Renee. I like your style."

"Are you guys shitting me? This is the most disturbing thing a girl could ever hear about her motherfucking parents. _'Cum Like It's Hot'_? Did you really feel the need to share that?" Bella let out a strangled whimper and put her head in her hands.

The focus was now entirely on Chief Swan and Renee's... um... "activities" and we had all but forgotten about the game of Pictionary. Jessica, however, was still running around the garden screaming, utterly oblivious to what was going on around her. When the timer pinged to indicate her turn was up she stopped running and sighed in defeat.

"I can't believe you didn't get that. It was so frickin' easy." She pointed to the giant penis and said, "VOL-CAN-O!"

"What?" Rose screamed. "Jess, that has never been a fucking volcano. For fuck's sake, girl, you drew a cock!"

"Rose, don't be silly. You just have a one-track mind." Jess laughed and turned to us. "No one else thought that did you?"

A chorus of, "well yes, actually," echoed around the garden and a horrified looking Jessica, desperately began to describe her picture.

"No way, look that's the big mountain that happened to be the volcano no one knew about. These are smaller hills in the same mountain-range and they have trees and plants growing on them like they always do. Then obviously that's the lava following an eruption."

She was so innocently flabbergasted that most of us feigned understanding with nods of our heads.

"Oh yes, I see now, Dear," Esme said kindly as Rose slammed her hands on the table and stood up.

She stormed over to the board and pointed to the picture angrily. "Man's balls, pubes growing on the balls, the cock itself and goddamn jizz following a different kind of eruption, Jess. Jesus Christ you're a public menace. I'm never being on the same damn side as you again."

"Right, so that makes us 5-3 up with one from each team left to play. WINNERS!" Emmett boomed."Thank you, Jessica!"

He held out his hand and fist-pumped Charlie and I. Although Charlie didn't seem to notice as he was still looking a little embarrassed thanks to Renee. Angela walked up to the board to take her turn whilst doing a little victory dance, and Esme was making "loser" signs at the other team.

"Worst evening ever," Bella grumbled and threw Emmett the finger in defiance. "I end up on the team with my off-her-tits mother, lose the game thanks to Jessica and her damn dick picture, and then discover my fucking parents watch porn and role-play."

Renee looked surprisingly nonplussed by the whole situation and continued to sit in her chair drinking more of Esme's wine. Although, she was beginning to slouch more and more and she still had one more turn to draw left. That would certainly be fun to watch.

Angela drew a perfectly decipherable picture of two cowboys holding hands with a mountain in the background which Emmett correctly guessed to be Brokeback Mountain.

"See, Angela's mountain didn't look like a goddamn dick," Rose muttered.

There was only Renee left to go, and we were already undisputed winners but she insisted on taking her turn. Bella and Rosalie groaned as she wobbled over to the table and chose a card.

"Ooh, I love this film." She squealed and clapped her hands excitedly as she bounced on the spot.

Maybe it was the wine, or perhaps Bella's clumsiness was actually inherited from her Mother, but either way, Renee stumbled over her own two feet. She crashed into the whiteboard which broke apart and then fell to the floor in a heap laughing her ass off.

"Mom," Bella groaned. "You're hammered."

"Help me, come on, baby, I'm stuck," she said in fits of laughter.

"You're a fucking disgrace, get your own drunken ass off the floor," Bella answered. Her bottom lip was pouting and her tone was that of a sulking teenager, but shit she was adorable.

"Charlie, honey, you won't leave me here will you?" Renee giggled and held out her hand for help. "I'll let you take advantage of me."

Charlie sighed and stood up. "I'm coming, I'm coming."

"Again?" Renee howled, "You dirty little man, was the drive over here not enough for you?"

It was a good thing that Bella and I had no neighbours for miles, because the torrent of fucks that flew from my girlfriend's mouth would have scarred any young children for life.

"Oh my fucking word. Please, I'm fucking begging you to stop talking right fucking now. This shit's worse than a fucked up lobotomy. Are you trying to kill me?"

"Bella, language," Charlie chastised as he pulled Renee to her feet. "I'm still the Chief remember?"

"A chief who gets road head in his cruiser," Renee added and I noticed everyone's shoulders shaking with silent laughter – including my own. But not Bella's – definitely not Bella's.

If she had been a character in a cartoon, there would have been red steam bursting from her ears because boy, was she mad.

"And I'm outta here." Bella shook her head in disgust and stood up. "Guys, up until about twenty minutes ago – it was fun. I'd say we'll do it again sometime, but I have no desire whatsoever to experience anything like this for the rest of my goddamn motherfucking life."

She walked around to where I was sitting and gave me a swift kiss on the cheek. "Edward, please don't be long. I'm kinda hoping you can fuck me senseless. I really need to forget about this little revelation."

The look on Charlie's face was priceless. He shifted between a flushed bright red with embarrassment for Renee's verbal diarrhoea and outraged purple at Bella's response. Of course, Bella's mother looked like the proudest woman on the planet.

"Ooh, Bella, you bad girl. No wonder Edward followed you halfway across the world, baby." Renee said with a wink. She turned to look at me and then held up her hand and clawed like a tiger in mid-air. "Rawr!"

I laughed nervously and looked down at the table. I certainly wasn't getting up any time soon. The image of Bella's request had gone straight to my dick, and I only had on a pair of shorts which would have done a piss-poor job at hiding my hard-on which felt like it was the size of the Empire State Building. Bella disappeared into the kitchen after telling everyone goodnight while I tried to distract myself.

_Emmett's hairy ass, the grand-bitch, Renee and Charlie getting it on in the cruiser... yep that did it._

When I had my "situation" under control, I all but physically removed everyone from the garden. I packed up Esme and Carlisle into their car and waved them off down the drive. Jess and Angela followed quickly after, with Jessica still complaining that her picture looked nothing like a dick. There was just Renee and Charlie left. He was trying in vain to keep Renee on her feet, but she thought trying to open his pants as he carried her was much more fun.

"Ren, come on stop that. Let's get you home – all that wine's gonna be making a re-appearance soon, and I really don't want to be cleaning it out of the cruiser, honey, okay?" Charlie begged.

"Charlie, look at Edward," Renee slurred. "He can't wait to get us out of here so he and Bella can have some sexy time. Stop being a prude and let me have my fun – we may be middle-aged but I'm still hornier than a... a... ooh, Emmett, what is it that you call it?"

"Hornier, than a two-dicked rabbit," Emmett replied casually.

"Yup, that's the one. So, come on, Charlie, flame my fire. Cook my goose."

"Whatever you want, Renee, but let's get you home first."

He draped one of his wife's arms around his neck and tried to walk her forward but she could barely stand. I took Renee's other arm and between us we managed to all but drag her to the car. He didn't even try the front seat, he just opened the back door and laid her out across the seats. She was snoring before we closed the door.

The word shit-faced came to mind.

I was beyond trying to be polite and joined Emmett in laughing at her and for the first time, Charlie didn't seem too upset about my intentions with his daughter as soon as he left. He was still reeling thanks to Renee and her love of sharing anything sex-related.

We left most of the cleaning up and as Emmett took Rose back to his little annexe, I quite literally sprinted back inside the house. I hadn't even closed the door behind me when Bella pounced. She snatched at my hair, pulled my face to hers, and without breaking the kiss she walked me backwards to the stairs.

My feet hit the bottom step and we stayed where we were. Kissing Bella was too damn nice to stop just yet. I let my hands roam her body and then settle on her ass. Her hands left my hair and ran down my chest and stomach to the hem of my t-shirt. Cold fingers tracing my skin as she began to draw it up slowly. Every single touch sent shudders of ecstasy through my body, the effect this woman had on me was indescribable. After my shirt had been discarded she slipped her hand inside my shorts and dropped to her knees.

The cool air and Bella's touch drove me wild and I felt every hair stand on end; my body trembling with pleasure when she wrapped her lips around me. Her teeth grazed the sensitive skin on my headand I had to place my hand on the banister to keep me steady. The deeper she took me, the harder it got to keep in control and I couldn't take any more.

"Bella, shit, please..." I choked and gently pulled her back to her feet. "I need to be inside you."

Her cheeks were tinged with pink and she nodded. I didn't want to wait to get her upstairs so I pushed up her cute little denim skirt and found her without underwear. "All night?" I breathed and she nodded. "Fucking hell, Bella. I swear to God you kill me."

I wrapped my arms around her and Bella jumped up, wrapping her legs around my waist and guiding us together. Unfortunately, the best ideas don't always work and this position proved difficult. After a few failed attempts I tried to carry Bella upstairs but I tripped on one of the steps and I fell forward upstairs. Bella landed with a loud thump and then I collapsed on top of her.

"Shit, Bella, you okay?" I pulled back and checked but she was giggling.

"I'm fine – just shut up and fuck me, Edward."

_Fuucck! Yes, Ma'am._

More than happy to oblige, I pushed into her again and began to roll my hips feeling frustrated because I knew I was losing it. It didn't matter that we'd been together for almost a year now. Nor did it matter that we'd had sex more times than I could possibly begin to count. Truthfully, something about us being together like this made me react like a virginal teenage boy – let's say Jim from American Pie – who fired his best swimmers like a machine gun.

Bella too seemed to be a ball of pent up tension. I dropped my hand between us and her back arched to my touch. She clutched at my shoulders and screamed as she came and I followed straight after.

My knees had carpet burns the size of tennis balls but fuck it was definitely worth it. I scooped Bella up and carried her upstairs to the bathroom. We took a nice relaxing shower before snuggling up in bed together.

Remove the discussion of _Cum Like It's Hot_ and "road head" in Chief Swan's cruiser and it had been a pretty damn good day.

~x~

I woke up earlier than I would have liked thanks to the sunlight streaming in through our bedroom window because I had forgotten to close the drapes last night. I buried my face into the pillow and tried to go back to sleep but it was a complete fail. Reluctantly, I untangled myself from Bella's arms and legs and stumbled to the bathroom.

When I went back into the bedroom, Bella had rolled over and the sheet had slipped down her back to rest just on the swell of her backside. I could see two patches of skin which looked red in comparison to the rest of her pale complexion, and I assumed these were her war wounds from last night. They looked tender and I sighed, fucking disgusted with myself for hurting her.

"Quit worrying about it, I can hear you scowling, Edward," Bella said, her voice muffled somewhat by her pillow.

"I have no idea what you're talking about?" I protested, but Bella snorted in disbelief. "And that's not possible you know? Hearing someone scowl."

"Well I know you're doing it, perhaps I'm just a fucking mind-reader."

I smiled and rolled my eyes. Moving to sit beside her, I ran my fingers over the marks. "Do they hurt?"

"Not as much as your knees do I bet." She rolled over and grinned. "It was fun though, and you certainly did your job."

"Huh?" I asked, too distracted by a still naked Bella.

"I forgot all about the horror of last night and the secrets that were shared. Jesus, I am banning Esme's wine. That shit is dangerous." Bella shuddered. "My parents – the sex addicts. I dread to think what other joys I missed before they left last night"

"Yes, you probably don't want to know," I said and then raised my eyebrows suggestively. "But, I think one of their ideas sounded quite appealing."

"Oh, I wonder which?" she quipped back sarcastically. "Well, be a good boy and make me breakfast and I'll be sure to bear that in mind next time we take a drive."

Suffice to say I was downstairs in record time.

* * *

><p><strong>AN If you want a teaser for the next chapter just hit review & I'll send you one right over! **

**I need to say a huge thanks to Prettyflour and Jaime Arkin for pre-reading this chapter and to Twifanmom for volunteering to Beta :) **

**Do I really need to tell you I own nothing? If I did... oh the possibilities! But unfortunately it's all Stephenie Meyer's.**

**Thank you for reading, reviewing, alerting, favouriting? & pimping etc etc - I'm seriously overwhelmed!**

**I hope to update next weekend - so see you then ;)**


	4. Chapter 3  Melting The Iceman

**A/N - Thank you so much to everyone for reading, reviewing & alerting this story! Thanks to Prettyflour and Jaime Arkin for prereading and to TwifanMom for beta'ing :) I own nothing of course - enjoy!**

Chapter 3 – Melting the Ice-man

EPOV

"Em, do you really think all of this is necessary?" I scowled at the dirty blond wig in my hand, which was frighteningly reminiscent of Rod Stewart's hair in the Eighties.

"Yup, you don't want people to recognise you," Emmett said seriously. "You've managed to keep yourself hidden for eight months, Edward. You don't want to fuck that up now do you?"

I shook my head and sighed. Of course, I didn't want to be recognised, nor did I want to parade around in Seattle looking like someone who had a bizarre obsession with the Eighties.

"Oh, and put these on too." He thrust a pair of ridiculously over-sized sunglasses at me and then added, "Make sure you talk like an American and you'll be fine."

I put the wig on with a sigh and fiddled about with it, but the stupid thing barely contained my own hair. So in combination with the awful, synthetic strands of blond, I had my own wild hair making a bid for freedom wherever it could. The sunglasses covered almost the entire upper-half of my face and I looked an absolute idiot.

"Seriously, Emmett, look at me. People are going to assume I'm some kind of mentally challenged Rod Stewart impersonator," I slammed the sun-visor in Bella's truck, up and glared in my cousin's direction.

My cousin, who I should add, was wearing perfectly acceptable jeans and a t-shirt. To anyone observing, Emmett would look like he was just accompanying a patient on day-release from a mental hospital.

"Ed, I never said you wouldn't look like a fucking idiot did I? But, no one is going to recognise you, and that's the most important thing. Oh, and if I remember rightly, it was your idea to drive out here, so shut the fuck up with the whining," Emmett said and threw me the finger when I began to argue.

He was right, Seattle was my idea. I had spent the better part of four months searching for this and it was here or nowhere as far as I was concerned. We had tried Port Angeles, the Internet, mail-order catalogues and countless other places, but I had come up empty. Then, just last night while Bella was asleep I saw an advertisement online for the perfect place.

It was a small jeweller, specialising in entirely one-of-a-kind pieces of jewellery. Each was designed by the owner and it was precisely what I had been looking for. Bella had changed my life, no two ways about it, and now I wanted to let her know just how unique and special she was.

And for that I needed the perfect ring...

"You're really going to do this – propose to her?" Emmett asked as we made our way through the busy streets. "Why now?"

"Yeah, I really am. I love her and I'm rather partial to the idea of her becoming Bella Cullen," I said with a cheesy grin on my face. "I'll never want anyone else, so what's the point in waiting? I've chosen my future, now I want to have fun living it and I'd like to do that with Bella as my wife."

"Wow, did you have cheese for breakfast?" Emmett teased.

I ignored him and followed my scrawled directions to the store hoping that there would be something I liked, for a price I could afford. I had some of the cash my Father had given to me, before I left London left over and then I had spent months putting part of my pay from Esme to one side without Bella discovering it. I had accumulated just over $5000, and I was proud to say it was the first time I had ever saved for a thing in my life.

The store was not amongst the more popular retail stores and it took us a while to locate it. But as soon as I saw the black sign with the italic, silver script I smiled to myself. "Here it is," I told Emmett.

"Aeternus? It is a Greek place?" He wrinkled his nose up and scoffed. "Looks like a bit of a cheap-ass place, Edward."

"It's Latin, Em, and I think it means eternal, timeless. They specialise in jewellery with a unique and I'd even say vintage feel, which I'm sure is just what I need. Don't be rude when we go inside, Emmett, please." I waited for him to agree and he did with an exasperated sigh.

"Right, so we go in and look around. If you see something you like, point it out to me and _I'll_ do all the talking. The more you keep out of the conversation, the less chance you have of being noticed." Emmett strode confidently through the door and I followed.

"Good morning, my name is Tia, can I help you with anything today?" A dark-haired woman asked from behind the counter. She was casting her gaze over my appearance with an amused look on her face.

"Vee are vanting to look at ving," Emmett said in the most ridiculous Russian accent I think I'd ever heard.

"Of course, Sir. An engagement ring?" She looked between Emmett and me cautiously.

I nodded and she pointed to a glass cabinet by the cash register. There were about fifteen rings in the display. White-gold, yellow-gold, single-stoned, and all wonderfully different from each other.

One caught my eye and I tried to focus on the detail. I inclined my head towards it and Emmett took over once again.

"You vill show us vis one – yah?"

_What the fuck?_ Now he was German? What had ever possessed me to bring him along. Esme, I should have asked Esme.

Although I was embarrassed by Emmett's terrible accents, things got a lot worse, Tia mistook us for thieves and I saw her hand drift below the counter, to presumably a panic button of some kind.

"I don't think we have anything here, that would be... _suitable_... for two people such as yourselves. It is probably for the best if you leave the store now." she said. I could see she was trying to be assertive, but her voice shook like we were actually scaring her.

Emmett began to argue in his normal deep booming tone, which only further confused the poor woman. Things were going from bad to worse and she called out to a co-worker who was out of sight. I needed to save the situation before Emmett and I ended up in the back of a police car. I removed my sunglasses, yanked the wig from my head and stepped forward slowly.

"Excuse me, Madam. I'm terribly sorry if we've frightened you." I tried to speak calmly and prayed that she would recognise me – something I hadn't done in years. "Forgive Emmett, but he was just trying to ensure no one knew who I was. That's his job you see – to look after me."

"Oh... right," the woman whispered, "Yes, of course. I'm very sorry, Your High-"

"No, no!" I cut her off, "Please call me, Edward. Do you think you could help me pick out a ring?"

"I would love to help of course. But..." She frowned. "Well, I really don't think any of our selections would be suitable, Sir. The sizes would be much too small for either yourself or your partner."

"Huh?" Emmett glanced at me and then grimaced. "Hey, we're not a couple – he's my cousin and I'm here to help him out, that's all."

I laughed and Tia looked horrified. "The ring is for my girlfriend, and I especially like that one." I pointed to the one ring that stood out and waited for it to be removed from the display.

"Oh dear, I am sorry. This is a new arrival actually. It's a replica Art Deco design." She set the ring down on a velvet cushion and pushed it across the counter. "The center is an antique cushion cut one carat diamond. It is set in an Edwardian-inspired platinum crown basket, which is cradled in diamond studded tulip V-sides. Quite fitting considering... well Edwardian." She smiled and encouraged me to take a closer look.

That was the ring and I could just picture it on Bella's finger. Not gaudy or over-the-top like rings some women seemed to insist upon. This was understated and classic, but unquestionably beautiful. It would fit Bella perfectly.

"How much?" I asked.

"Six thousand, eight hundred and seventy five dollars."

My heart sank, it was way over my budget. Almost two thousand dollars over to be exact. Fuck.

"I'm sorry, I just don't have that much. Do you have anything for around five thousand?" I asked sadly.

"Wait!" Emmett said, "Can we try and negotiate? Is that your best price?"

"I could let it drop to six thousand, but definitely nothing lower. I'm sorry."

"Six?" Emmett clarified and Tia nodded. "We'll take it."

"Emmett, I don't have that much," I argued and he laughed.

"I have my credit card, well it's Rosie's actually, but she told me to bring it along just in case. I dunno what she thought I was going to buy."

"I can't-" I began to say but he cut me off.

"Just shut up, Edward. If you buy this ring, we can go home and I don't have to do this shit again. Jesus, never in my life will I understand why women enjoy shopping."

I could have refused, but I loved the ring and I could totally see Bella wearing it. I sighed reluctantly and nodded. "You can't tell Rose, Em. Not yet okay? Fuck, my debts keep growing and growing - but Bella's worth it a million times over."

He agreed and told me to hurry up. I asked for the ring to be boxed and then paid, feeling increasingly nervous as I thought about actually asking Bella to marry me. I had no problem imagining our wedding and I could see us sixty years down the line still together and deliriously happy, but I hadn't given any consideration to how I would propose.

"Thank you, Sir. I hope the ring brings you happiness and I promise you our discretion." Tia smiled as I put my wig and glasses back on.

"I appreciate it, thank you." I hid the ring in my inside jacket pocket and followed Emmett back out into the street. "Now, I need your help figuring out what to do."

"You're joking right? Romance is definitely not my strong-point. If it was down to me, marriage would be eradicated. Why on earth would you legally attach yourself to a woman who will no doubt withhold sex for no good reason and eventually nag you into your grave?"

"Wow, Emmett. Romeo has nothing on you man, does he? Are you sure Rose understands what a romantic boyfriend she has?" I teased and he laughed.

"Oh I have a secret weapon that keeps her at my beck and call. But back to you and your desperate need to get a ring on your girl's finger. Aren't you supposed to ask the Father's permission first?" Emmett slapped me on my back and guffawed. "Yeah, good luck with that. You might wanna ask when his service weapon's out of reach."

Too fucking right.

~x~

It took me another two weeks to drum up the courage to go near Chief Swan. As much as I hated the idea of asking his permission, a small part of me wanted to do it right. I just needed to make sure Renee was close by when I asked, because that woman was pretty much wrapped around my little finger and I could do with all the help I could get.

"You're all jittery – what's wrong?" Bella eyed me suspiciously as I drove her to work.

"Nothing," I replied and squeezed her hand which rested on my thigh.

"Liar." She shook her head but dropped the subject. "So, what's the plan for today?"

"Um, not much. Esme is still waiting for some materials to arrive so there's not much Em and I can do. I think I'm just going to relax and wait for my beautiful girl to finish work." I winked and Bella laughed.

"You're such a fucking cheeseball, Edward."

"Yup, but you wouldn't want me any other way." I pulled the truck over across the road from the school. "Pick you up later?" I asked and leaned over to kiss her goodbye. "Love you."

"Mm, love you too," she whispered. "I'd much rather spend the day with you – I could always pretend I'm ill, you know?"

"No you can't, Bella. You need to instil your knowledge and wisdom onto the teenagers of Forks." I laughed and she snorted.

"Yeah right, that's a task that failed before it even started. I get it, Edward, you need me out of the way so you can dress in my clothes and practice how to be _Edwina."_ With a wink and one final kiss on my cheek she got out of the truck. "Don't be late."

_I will be if your Father shoots me – been nice knowing you, love._

I drove as slowly as I could towards Bella's parents' house. I had already told them I was stopping by, so I knew they would both be at home.

_Deep breaths, deep breaths. _

I parked on the road outside the Swan's house as Charlie's cruiser was in the driveway. I considered detaching the battery cables under the hood just in case I needed to make a swift escape. By the time the Chief had re-attached them I could be half-way to Canada.

"Morning, Edward. Do you want some breakfast, sweetheart? I'm making something for Charlie, so you're more than welcome." Renee gave me a hug as I walked into the kitchen.

I looked into the pan and couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was supposed to be, so I politely declined. "No thank you, Renee. Bella already fed me."

"Ooh, I bet she did," she said suggestively.

I heard Charlie clear his throat and I looked around to see him standing impatiently in the doorway. "I'm heading out soon, what can I do for you, Edward?"

"You can't leave now, Charlie, your breakfast isn't ready yet," Renee grumbled and I caught Charlie grimacing.

"Oh, I really don't have time, Ren." He sat down at the table and pointed to the chair opposite him.

"Um, Renee, could you join us please?" I asked and I was sure I saw a smile flash across her face.

"Sure, Edward."

I took a deep breath and tried to speak, but I forgot what I was going to say and I just sat there with my mouth open.

"Is something wrong?" Charlie asked.

I shook my head and tried again, but I was utterly speechless. I sighed in frustration and decided to show them the ring. I had carried it everywhere with me since the day I had bought it and today was no exception. I fished it from my pocket and opened the box before setting it down in the middle of the table.

Renee squealed excitedly and bounced up and down in her chair and Charlie sighed.

"Guess, I knew that was coming." He glanced at the ring once and then returned his attention to me.

"Edward, it's so pretty. May I?" Renee reached for the box and I nodded. "It's perfect for Bella. She'll love it I know she will. Ooh, my baby girl's getting married."

Charlie didn't smile, coo over the ring or even talk. He was just perched on his chair staring at me. In fact he was so damned intense it made me want to confess to crimes I'd never committed. I needed to say something and snap him out of it, otherwise I could very well have needed a change of boxer shorts.

"I know that I'm probably not the man you wanted or expected to end up as your son-in-law, Chief Swan, but I love you daughter more than anything else in the world. No one can ever begin to understand how happy she makes me and the only thing I want is to spend the rest of my life trying to do the same for her." My heart was racing and Jesus my hands were sweating. I kept one eye on Charlie's hand, ready to make a run for it if he went for his gun. "I will never let her down, and I want to marry her. I know it's old-fashioned, but I would really like to ask her with your approval."

"Oh, aren't you the sweetest guy?" Renee beamed. "Isn't it exciting, Charlie?"

"Chief Swan, can I ask Bella to be my wife?" I asked and smiled.

"No," he muttered looking just like Bella did when she sulked.

"Charlie, stop being an ass," Renee warned him. "You can drop the act now, I know you like the guy. If you didn't you'd have pulled your gun on him already."

I waited for him to respond with either his mouth or his gun. Looking at his face at that moment made me feel the latter was a distinct possibility.

"Jeez, I'm just messing with the guy, Renee." Charlie let out a short laugh and then looked at me. His face falling serious again. "You have my permission. Ask her."

I grinned and started to thank him profusely but he held up his hand and stopped me.

"One more thing," he said, "What you said before wasn't entirely true. While you were certainly not the man we expected Bella to fall in love with, I can see that you make my daughter happy, Edward, and that's all that any Father wants."

Wow, was that a compliment? Acceptance? I'd melted the ice-man after eight months – score!

"Thank you," I told him sincerely. "Your approval really does make a big difference to me."

"Well, I have to get to work." He stood, kissed Renee on the cheek and headed for the door. But just as he was about to leave, he stopped and asked, "What if I'd have said no?"

I smiled and shrugged. "I love Bella, so I would have asked her regardless. I would just have made sure she was between you and I when we broke the news. You wouldn't attempt to shoot me if your daughter was between us."

He laughed and gave me a thumbs up before disappearing. Renee looked a little disappointed that her breakfast had gone untouched so I gave in like a coward and let her serve me a plateful. It tasted pretty damned terrible, but I didn't care because I had a million and one thoughts racing around my head.

I had the ring, I had her parents' approval and now I just needed a plan. I was going to ask Bella to marry me, be my wife and spend the rest of her life with me. Suddenly the idea of being King of England seemed mundane in comparison to the nerves I felt – what the fuck would I do if she said no?

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you liked this and would love to know what you think. I will happily send over a preview of the next chapter to all of those who review. <strong>

**I hope to update on Sunday, so see you then!**

**Katy**

**x**


	5. Chapter 4 More First Times

**Hi! Thank you to all of you who read, review, alert etc - I can't tell you how overwhelmed I am. I also need to thank Prettyflour & JaimeArkin my incredible pre-readers & my wonderful beta, Twifanmom. **

Chapter 4 – More first-times

BPOV

I honestly believed I was a decent teacher. I knew every fucking detail about every single book on the syllabus and I could confidently teach my kids anything they needed to know in order to graduate my class. Right? Well at this very moment I seriously doubted that and I was beginning to lose the will to live. I had decided to throw an impromptu pop quiz to my juniors and time had come to take a look at their answers. The majority were sound and well thought out, but then I read one answer.

_Q. Who is your favourite Shakespearean character, and why?_

_A. I like Julian Caesar – because he invented the Caesar Salad and it is my favourite._

For a fleeting second I honestly thought Jessica was hiding in my class, because this had her name all over it. _Julian?_ Caesar fucking Salad?

I slammed the paper down on the desk and sighed.

"Ah, the sweet sound of someone satisfied with their chosen profession," a familiar voice sounded.

I looked up and saw a uniformed officer in the doorway to my class. "Paul?" I said in confusion and he nodded.

"Yep, it's been a while, Bella."

_Um, almost seven years as a matter-of-fact._

Paul Lahote was my ex-boyfriend. We had dated for about a year when I was sixteen and it was with him that I lost my virginity in the back seat of Dad's cruiser. Not my proudest or most pleasurable moment it has to be said.

"What are you doing here? I hope you aren't arresting anyone?" I asked. Maybe I should ask him to arrest the kid who was a fan of Julian Caesar Salad for crimes against literature.

Paul laughed and flashed a row of white teeth, which were emphasized by his tanned complexion, dark hair and dark eyes. He was still quite a cute guy, I suppose, but nothing in comparison to the Adonis I had waiting for me. And on that note I let my thoughts wander off, imagining Edward at work, sweating. Perhaps removing his t-shirt and wiping his head with it...

"... So Charlie thought it was a good idea to send me and explain the benefits of a career on the force. Good experience for the rookie I suppose," Paul was oblivious to my daydreaming and only snapped me out of it when he approached my desk.

"Well congratulations on the new job. I should really get back to work – I'd like to get out of here on time," I said politely, thoroughly distracted by the image of Edward shirtless and sweating. Maybe his pants would have to come off too – in the interest of his health of course. After all we wouldn't want him dehydrated from all the sweating. The thought caused a blush to sweep across my cheeks and I bit down on my lip.

"Oh, sure. Sorry to disturb you," Paul said with a grin forming on his face and backed out of the office. "Guess I'll see you around?"

"Sure, Paul. Bye."

I pretended to turn my attention back to my papers, but it was hopeless. My day-dream was in full flow now and Edward was currently naked as a baby while hammering nails into the wall and by nails – I mean me, and the hammer – yeah that was the Staff. I let it play out as long as I could without spontaneously combusting and then I packed up my things and decided to wait for Edward outside.

The majority of students had already left so I sat on the wall by the entrance and made the most of the sun which was enjoying a brief escape from the cloudy prison it was usually encased in. When a shadow fell upon my face I scowled and opened my eyes.

"Hi."

_Sheesh, him again._

"Hey – again. I thought you were leaving?" I looked around hoping Edward would appear but the roads were empty.

"Well, I was just about to... and then I saw you here alone so I figured you needed a ride," Paul said hopefully and then moved to sit beside me.

"Oh, no thanks. My boyfriend is picking me up, he'll be here soon enough," I answered.

"Oh yeah, the Prince, Forks' resident celebrity. I guess I should have known you'd move onto bigger fish," Paul retorted sourly. "You never seemed satisfied with the guys who spent years trying to impress you."

Now I remembered why I wasn't upset when we broke up. He had the temperament of a seven year old girl and my patience was growing thin. Having spent the better part of seven hours with pissy teenagers, I could do without his woe-is-me attitude. I was just about to bite the sulky little fuckers head off when I heard the all too familiar sound of my truck roaring in the distance. I grinned and jumped down from the wall just as it came into view.

"Here he is. Bye, Paul." I flung open the truck door and clambered inside the second it rolled to a halt curb side.

"Sorry I'm a little late, but Esme had me hanging pictures on the walls upstairs."

Cue pervy fantasy of Edward hammering and sweating...

"It was _so _good to see you again, Bel," Paul bent down and leaned through the open window. "Let's not leave it so long next time."

"Right," I mumbled and flushed bright red. I looked across and sighed when I saw the silent stand-off between Edward and Paul.

"I'm Edward. It's nice to meet you, Paul." Edward smiled tightly and weaved his fingers through mine and raised my hand to his mouth, kissing it without taking his eyes from Paul.

"Likewise," Paul replied coolly and then kissed my cheek with a smug glance in Edward's direction.

_Motherfucker!_

"You look great, Bel, but you always were the prettiest girl in Forks." He stepped back and added, "I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot more of each other, now that I'm under Charlie's professional wing."

Edward slammed his foot to the floor of the truck and we sped away. Well, I say sped, but the truck made a pathetic jolt forward and then trundled along no faster than it usually travelled. It probably didn't inflate Edward's ego any, and given his thunder-like expression I decided to keep quiet for a while.

We had almost arrived home before he spoke, "Paul? As in your ex, Paul?"

"Um... yeah. I haven't seen him since we broke up," I replied and fiddled with the strap on my purse.

"I'm thinking he would like to reacquaint. Was it serious?"

Now there was a loaded question. I knew he wasn't asking if I loved the guy, this was man-speak for _"Did you see his dick?" _

"I suppose – ish – he was my first boyfriend," I said and smiled sheepishly. "He was the first person... I..."

"I get it, Bella," he muttered. He pulled the truck up outside the garage and pouted. "I would very much like to never see him again. I get the distinct impression he was remembering you naked the whole time he was talking to you."

Before I could stop it, a sarcastic laugh burst from my mouth.

"What's funny?" he asked, still frowning.

"I don't even know if he saw me naked," I said, still laughing.

"How on earth is that possible?" Edward frowned.

"Well, my Dad was kinda protective – as I'm sure you can believe. Whenever I was with Paul at my house, he was always interrupting and checking up on us, and Paul has four brothers and a sister, so we never got any time alone at his house. The first time we... um... you know... it was in the back seat of Dad's cruiser. We literally kept our clothes on from the waist up," I answered.

Edward's eyes widened and he looked amused. "So, it's safe to assume he didn't rock your world?"

"Ha, definitely not. He barely even rocked the car, Edward. It was more of a wam-bam-splat – oops, sorry. How was that for you?" I shrugged and scooted over to nestle under his arm. "You have absolutely no need to be worried. As Markus would so eloquently put it – you have much better bang, bang skills."

Edward laughed and I saw him relax. "While that is good to know, I am sorry that you had to experience sex for the first time in the back of your Father's car." He kissed the top of my head and climbed out of the car. "What happened to making it special?"

"Hey, I just wanted to get it over with. It's not as though I expected my very own Prince Charming to come along – if I had known I would quite happily have waited for you, Edward," I said simply and let him help my down from the truck.

"And you say I'm a cheese-ball, Bella." Edward picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, slapping my ass and laughing as I objected.

I expected him to put me down as soon as we were inside but he didn't. Instead he carried me through the house and upstairs into the bedroom. He placed me carefully on the bed and hovered over the top of me.

"If I was your first, I would have done things much differently," he whispered and kissed me softly.

"Oh really?" I squeaked and his faint chuckle vibrated against my lips. "What do you mean by differently?"

"How about I show you?" he murmured and I nodded feebly.

He continued to kiss me oh so gently, like I was a china doll he was fearful of breaking. His hand swept the hair away from my neck and his kisses wandered lazily across my face and brushed against my jaw and down to my throat. I could feel his fingers tracing lightly down my sides, each touch igniting the fire inside me. When he reached the hem of my shirt, he let his hand drift up and under the fabric.

His mouth found mine again, and each time I tried to take more from the kisses he pulled back, a crooked smirk forming on his face as he shook his head.

"Patience, Bella. This is what your first time should have been, remember?"

Edward's voice burned almost as much as his touch did and I could do nothing but nod once. He unbuttoned my shirt slowly, watching me as he did so. After he opened the last one, he sat up and pulled me with him. His lips dropped onto my collarbone and he pushed the shirt off my shoulders. I felt his hands move around my back and begin fiddling with the clasp on my bra. I giggled as he struggled to open it.

"Damn thing. It's ruining my moment here," he grumbled.

"Well, if this was our first time, then there was bound to be some fumbling going on. Bra's happen to be the evil nemeses of teenage boys," I teased and unhooked it myself.

"Well, from here on in, today will be utterly life-changing, Bella," he said, almost nervously and I wondered what he could possibly be worried about.

My bra was removed and Edward pushed me back gently. His hands caressed my breasts and his tongue traced across my lips. I ran my hands underneath his shirt and over his muscular back, digging my nails into his skin trying desperately to pull him as close to me as I could. With one touch of his lips on the tip of my nose, he smiled and dropped his head. He took one nipple into his mouth and flicked his tongue against it. After doing the same on the other, his hands set to work on my pants. When the button and zipper were open he sat up again, shuffled them down my legs and threw them across the room.

"Beautiful," he whispered. My cheeks flamed and he touched the blushing skin with his fingers.

I reached forward and tugged on his shirt, he helped me pull it over his head and then he lowered himself back down, kissing my stomach and hips. His finger slipped inside my underwear and I heard him gulp.

"You're making this so fucking hard for me, Bella."

"I should hope so," I said smartly and his body shook with laughter.

"Okay, I guess that came out wrong," he said with a sigh. "But you know exactly what I meant."

His finger swept back and forth and just the slightest touch proved too much for me. The build up and emotions I felt ignited every single cell in my body and my stomach tightened as I was hit with wave after wave of pleasure.

I tried to roll over and push Edward onto his back but he held my shoulders firmly. "No, Bella, tonight is all about you." He stood and removed his pants and then settled between my legs.

I could feel him pressing against my entrance as he looked right at me, his gaze intense and full of something I couldn't place. "I love you, Bella," he whispered softly and then with a slight shift of his hips he slipped inside me.

"I love you, too," I gasped and pulled his face closer to mine. "I love you, Edward."

It wasn't my first time, not even close, but for some reason it felt like it was. I was stunned when I felt tears prick my eyes.

_Seriously, I'm about to cry? _

He kept his eyes on me the whole time, and I thought maybe, just maybe he felt the same as I did. But men don't get teary-eyed and emotional during sex. That was just a flaw with the female species right?

Edward came before I could again, but I didn't care. His head dropped as he caught his breath and he pressed his lips against my shoulder.

"Edward," I said quietly and he moved to look at me. "That would have been the most amazing first-time ever."

He smiled and nodded. "But I bet I can beat it."

"Oh really? That's quite a claim there Romeo." I laughed. "How do you plan on beating that?"

"We have one more first-time left, Bella. And it will be unforgettable, I promise." He sat up and reached over to his pants which were on the floor beside the bed.

I frowned in confusion. "What do you mean, 'one more first-time'? I don't understand."

He took a deep breath and stood up, pulling me to the edge of the bed. "The first time we do that when we're husband and wife, Bella. I would bet my life that would beat this experience hands down and I absolutely cannot wait to find out."

"Yeah, I expect it will be good. After all we'll have had years of practice by then," I said and saw his brow crease.

"What if we didn't?" he asked. "Have years of practice I mean."

"Huh?" I was confused again.

Edward smiled and took a deep breath. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too," I said and I found myself wishing for more. My voice shook and my heart began to pound in my chest. He wasn't about to... "Oh my God."

_Oh fuck yes he is._

Edward sank to one knee and placed a small velvet box on my knees which were shaking so badly it nearly slipped off. "I want to marry you, Bella. Meeting you changed me to the point where I was almost unrecognizable when I looked in the mirror. All my life I wished I could just live a normal life as Edward Cullen and here I am, all because of you. Now, there's only one thing I can think of which I like the sound of more, and that's Bella Cullen – my wife. I promise I will spend every single day trying to make you as happy as you've made me. Will you give me that chance?"

He opened the box and took the ring between his fingers hesitantly hovering it over the end of my own finger. "Will you marry me, Bella?"

"Yes, Edward." I croaked but with unwavering confidence I answered, "Of course I will."

The ring was pushed down my finger and Edward's lips were on mine pushing me down onto the bed.

"Thank you," he murmured raining kisses on my cheek, nose and forehead.

I pushed him onto his back and rested on his chest, looking up at him with a huge motherfucking smile on my face. "When did you get this?" I flexed my fingers and watched as the diamond caught in the light. It was beautiful.

"A few weeks ago, Em and I took a drive to Seattle in disguise." He rolled his eyes. "I had wanted to ask much sooner, but it took me a while to drum up the courage to talk to your parents."

"What? You talked to my Dad first? Wow – you might just be the bravest man I know." I smiled and kissed his chest. "What did he do?"

"Well, he didn't shoot me so I took that as a good sign," he said with a smirk on his face. "He surprised me actually. He said I made you happy and that was all a Father could ask for, so I assumed that was a compliment."

"Fuck – Mom's really mellowed him out again," I mused. "But, we might want to keep the details surrounding the actual proposal quiet."

"What do you mean?"

I laughed and propped myself up on his chest. "Let's see how this sounds. 'So, Mom and Dad, Edward and I are engaged. We were both naked when he asked, because you see, he had just finished showing me what it would have been like had he been the boy I lost my virginity to. Are you happy for us or what?'"

"Mm, you do make a good point. Maybe I can ask you again later?" he suggested. "Now that I know you'll say yes, I can enjoy it a little more."

Was he really _that _worried? Did he not understand just how much he consumed my every thought and feeling? Jesus, I could barely string a sentence together whenever I thought about him. "There is no way in hell I'd ever say no to spending the rest of my life with you, Edward. But you know I was in no rush? I understand this is a big shift for you and I don't want you to feel like there's any expectation on your shoulders-"

Edward cut me off sharply, "Bella, I meant every word – I can't wait to marry you. For years and years, I fully expected to end up miserable and alone, or worse than that, with someone like Kate and then you quite literally stumbled into my life. To call you my wife would be the greatest honour in the world."

"Tut, tut Edward. You said it wrong," I scalded.

"I did?"

"Yup, what you should have said was 'To call you my wife would be the greatest honour in the motherfucking world.'"

"My mistake." Edward flipped me onto my back and laughed. "I've just realised there is another first-time we forgot about."

"Another?" I giggled.

"Mm hm. I hope you're ready, Bella, because I want to make love right now to my fiancée for the first motherfucking time."

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**Hope you liked it? As always I'll send a teaser for the next chapter to those who review. I will _try_ to update on Friday as the Christmas weekend will just be too busy for me! But, if I can't I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas & I'll be back as quick as I can :)**

**Thanks for reading xxxx**


	6. Chapter 5  Breathe, Bella, Breathe

**A/N**** Thanks to Prettyflour, Jaime Arkin & Twifanmom I managed to get this chapter posted today - love them to bits! Hope you enjoy.**

Chapter 5 – Breathe, Bella, Breathe 

BPOV

_A few months later..._

"Keep your eyes closed, Edward," I said as I guided him upstairs into Emmett's old apartment over the garage. "We're almost there."

"What on earth is this, Bella?" Edward grumbled.

"All will be revealed, baby." I smirked.

I walked him through the door and positioned him in front of his gift. The room had been transformed and I just hoped he liked it.

"Can I open my eyes now?"

"Um... sure go ahead," I mumbled nervously.

What if he hated it? What if it reminded him too much of his old life?

This was my Christmas gift to Edward, and granted we were a few days early, but today was exactly one year to the day since Edward turned up in my class and changed my life. He was the best Christmas present I'd ever had and I saw today as a fitting day to present him with this.

I watched anxiously as he opened his eyes, a brief flurry of confusion was followed instantly by a gasp. He stepped forward and reached out to the old piano now taking centre stage in Emmett's lounge.

It wasn't exactly pristine and it was probably older than his Grand-mother, but still, it had character and charm. Esme had come across it in one of the properties she was refurbishing and had it removed before Edward could see it. It had taken quite a lot of time and money to have it restored to just a fraction of its former glory, but hopefully it was worth it.

"How did you manage to...?" Edward whirled around and frowned at me. "It's a piano."

"Yeah, Alice said how well you could play and with Emmett gone, I figured..." I trailed off and paused. "Well, I figured you might start again. You could teach people the basics if you want, or just use it for your own pleasure. I thought you'd like it."

"I don't like it, Bella," Edward said solemnly and I sighed in disappointment. His finger lifted my chin up and forced me to look right at him. "I don't like it... I fucking love it."

"Really?" I grinned and he nodded emphatically.

"Of course, what's not to love?" He wandered back over and traced his fingers on the dark wood and lifted the cover to reveal the keys. He cocked his head and listened intently as he pressed several of them, the sound echoed in the room, making him smile. "It's wonderful, Bella."

"Thank God," I said with a sigh of relief. "Tell me to shut up if I'm getting too ahead of myself here, but I thought this would be a great little music studio for you. It has a bathroom and kitchen, a couch over there and it's far enough away from the house to give you privacy if you ever did teach anyone."

"It's perfect," he replied. "Do you really think people would want _me _to teach them?"

I scoffed, "Are you kidding? The women of Forks will be stampeding through the fucking gates to be first in line. In fact, I think we should set up some sort of criteria. No women between eighteen and fifty, no hot gay men who might try and seduce you, no skimpy clothing-"

"Bella, come sit with me." Edward interrupted and patted the bench in front of the piano. "You have absolutely no need to worry. There isn't a woman on this planet that could compare to you, love. Besides in a few months there'll be a clear reminder just how off-limits I am."

"You mean beside the fact I'll be standing in the corner watching their every move?" I nudged him playfully. "I might even get an Indiana Jones style whip so I can flog anyone who tries anything with you."

"Although I would love that, I don't think it would constitute as good teaching practice." He picked up my left hand and pointed to the ring on my third finger. "I was actually referring to the fact that I would be wearing my wedding ring. I'll make sure I keep it front and centre so everyone knows they don't stand a chance."

And that was all it took to send me off into a scurry of nervous tension about the aforementioned wedding. It was happening towards the end of March – in a little over three months I would be married to Edward.

"You're worrying again," Edward said with a shake of his head. "It's going to be the smallest wedding in my family's history and you break out into a cold sweat whenever you think about it."

"Well, duh, all of the other weddings in _your_ family were motherfucking public spectacles. I'm a small-town girl remember?"

It wasn't marrying Edward that was scaring me half to death, because I couldn't wait to call him my husband and we were only having a small, intimate ceremony in our garden. We had of course, hired a marquee because well – we lived in Forks and only an idiot would leave it to chance and hope the weather stayed dry. The guest list was tiny and contained just close friends and family. But it was the _family_ part that was causing me the stress. Edward had invited his parents and brother, fully expecting them to politely decline because of the situation surrounding his departure from London. But, they didn't decline, they accepted. So in addition to my parents, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Jessica, Rose and Angela there would be James, and of course Edward's Mother and Father watching as I said "I do" to the son I had all but stolen from them.

"Breathe, Bella," Edward whispered in my ear.

"Okay, breathing, I'm breathing."

"I know it's scary for you, but remember they'll only be here as my parents and brother. No one will be curtsying or giving them any kind of special treatment. I've told them they leave all that formality at the door the second they arrive here. This is our day, and it will be everything _we_ want." Edward wrapped his arm around me and kissed my head. "I have been waiting all my life to marry you Miss Swan, nothing is going to ruin that for me, do you hear?"

I nodded and smiled up at him. "I just hope Esme's wine isn't going to make an appearance. I would die of shame if my Mom made any lewd comments in front of your parents. I keep warning her to be on her best behaviour but she just laughs at me."

He laughed and said, "I can just picture Renee making reference to _Cum Like It's Hot_ in front of my Mother and Father. It would certainly be a sight to see, so I rather hope Esme's wine _is_ on the menu."

"Edward?" I asked trying to change the subject and pressed one of the keys down. "Could I be your first student?"

"You want me to teach you to play?" His eyes lit up. "I'd love to, Bella."

We made a start right then, the poor guy tried in vain to show me the basic chords and explain the workings of the piano. I was really trying to pay attention and listen, but his fingers were so fucking distracting. I watched as he tried to position my hands on the keys, and couldn't help but wish he was positioning me in a completely different way.

"Bella?" Edward looked at me and I felt my cheeks redden. "Where were you?"

"You probably don't want to know," I admitted.

"I think from that blush I can imagine the basics and believe me I would love to know."

"Well," I started, "Pretty Woman was always one of my favourite films."

He understood immediately and a cheeky smirk formed on his face. "Oh really?"

"Yes, one scene in particular," I said, trying my best to remain casual. "I may have always envisioned that happening to me... I suppose you could call it a fantasy."

I trailed a finger up his thigh and I heard him hiss. He wasn't saying no, so I stood and moved to sit on his lap, but before I could he grabbed my waist and held me in front of him. I thought for a second he was stopping me, but his hands swept around to my sweatpants and he hooked his fingers under the waistband before pushing them down.

"Who am I to deny you your fantasy?" his voice was gruff and sent tingles across my skin. He stood and picked me up, setting me down on top of his piano with my feet pressing down on the keys.

The room became a frenzy of clothes as they were all but torn from our bodies. I saw Edward's eyes wander hungrily from my face right down my body, leaving a burning trail of skin as he did.

"Best piano lesson, ever." I breathed and that fucking crooked smile became set upon his face.

"But it's about to get even better, love." Edward sat back down on the bench and shuffled it in closer, leaving his face right... um... there.

I watched him as he leaned his head forward slightly and drew his tongue up in one languid stroke through my centre. I groaned at the feeling and tensed my legs in anticipation as I waited for him to continue. And fucking continue he did. I wanted to keep my eyes on him, because embarrassing as it was to see his head there, it was also incredibly sexy. His hands rubbed back and forth on my thighs as he brought me literally crashing into my climax.

I fell back onto the hard wood top of the piano and felt Edward sliding me as close to the edge as he could before standing and slamming into me.

_Fuck kitchen worktops, sex on a piano trumps that every day of the week._

I held onto Edward's shoulders and tried to stop my feet from sliding up and down the keys in vain. It certainly brought a whole new meaning to making sweet music. With a few more deep thrusts, Edward came with a motherfucking brilliant array of "fucks".

"I think Piano is my ultimate favourite musical instrument," I panted and felt Edward's body shake as he laughed. "Although, that had better not be part of your lesson plans with future students."

"It's definitely going to be part of _your _lesson plans love. But only yours, I promise." He hovered over me and kissed my nose. "I love you."

~x~

Edward and I spent Christmas Eve curled up in front of the open fire, watching classic Christmas films and making out like teenagers. It was our first Christmas in the house and it was perfect. I would have happily spent the next day alone with him, but he seemed excited to have everyone together for the holidays.

I could see a gift under the tree which had me completely intrigued. Edward refused to let me open it until after midnight and the suspense was killing me. I knew it wasn't anything elaborate or expensive but I was as excited as a child – Edward was a romantic through and through, so I knew I'd love it. Whatever it was.

The second the clock chimed I leaped up and off the couch, across the room to snatch up the gift. Edward laughed at me as I rejoined him on the couch and did the customary feel up of the box.

"I don't think you'll be able to guess, so you'd better open it, Bella," he said.

I grinned and tore open the paper, as soon as I saw the box I knew.

"A snow globe?" I asked and he nodded.

"Sort of, but with a personal touch."

I removed the glass orb from the box and it took me a few seconds to register what I was looking at – inside was a tiny little replica of our house. There was even a hand-written Mr. and Mrs. Cullen on the tiny mailbox. "Oh my God Edward, how did you do this? It's perfect."

"You would be amazed at the things you can find online." He looked so proud of himself. To anyone else it would be such a regular thing to do, but buying gifts like this - nothing extravagant or pricey was something Edward had never tired of.

I shook it up and watched, completely mesmerised as the snowflakes cascaded around. "I love it so much, thank you."

"What time do we have to be at Esme's?" Edward asked.

My Mother had initially wanted to do the whole shebang for Christmas and have everyone over to her and Dad's house. All I can say is thank fucking God for Esme. She persuaded Renee to have the dinner over at her and Carlisle's house as Alice and Jasper were flying over and there wouldn't be enough room for everyone in my parents' tiny kitchen.

"Alice thought we could hand out gifts and stuff together, so we should probably get there around eleven-ish," I replied. "Come on Mr. Cullen, let's go to bed and I'll give you your Christmas present." Giggling I stood up and held out my hand.

"Better than the piano?" Edward waggled his eyebrows and I shrugged.

"You'll see as soon as we get upstairs." I winked and tugged at my robe to reveal a little of what was underneath. "You can even unwrap it yourself."

In one swift movement, Edward launched me up over his shoulder and ran upstairs.

~x~

Esme and my Mom were in the kitchen drinking wine of course, when we arrived. "Merry Christmas baby," my Mom shrieked and enveloped Edward and I in a tight hug.

"Thank you, Renee," Edward said politely and waited for her to release us only to then be snatched up by Esme.

"Happy Christmas, sweethearts," she said and ruffled Edward's hair playfully. "It's going to be lovely to have everyone here this year." She wandered back over to the stove to check on the food.

"Merry Christmas, guys." I stood in front of Edward and he wrapped his arms around me. "Where's Dad?"

She rolled her eyes and said, "Esme bought Carlisle some fishing gear for Christmas, so he's admiring it out in the garage. Look out, Edward, they're trying to organise a trip on Harry Clearwater's boat."

"Is that not a good thing?" Edward asked.

"Definitely not. Unless you like spending a few days on a boat with four middle-aged men, live bait, and dead fish." I scrunched up my nose. "I swear to God, when I was in school I didn't eat anything but fish for years."

"Four other men? Who else goes with them?" Edward asked.

"Well it's Harry's boat so he has to go, and then there's Colin Lahote – he went to school with Dad and Harry. They're all still friends," I answered and then cursed when I saw Edward's expression.

"As in Officer Knobjockey? That Lahote?" He scowled and looked adorably jealous again.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, it's Paul's Dad."

"Edward, would you go and tell Charlie and Carlisle that we're passing out gifts as soon as Emmett and Rosalie get here?" Esme called across the kitchen, "I think they've admired the fishing stuff for long enough now."

"Of course, Esme," he said with a smile and wandered outside.

"They've met, Paul and Edward?" Mom asked and I nodded. "Where?"

"Dad sent him into school to do a talk to some of the kids. He waited outside until Edward picked me up," I told her. "I think it's safe to say they pretty much hated each other."

"Of course they did. It's that weird alpha male thing, Bella." Esme handed me a glass of wine.

"Paul? Bah, he doesn't have an ounce of alpha in him, Esme. I was delighted when he and Bella broke up," Renee scoffed. "And he had small feet – that's never a good thing."

"Only you would have thought to look at the size of my boyfriend's feet, Mom," I muttered. "You only met him twice. Surely there were other things that mattered?"

"These things are important, Sweetie. Aren't they, Esme?" she turned her head to Esme, who looked a little flustered but she nodded in agreement.

"Change of subject, please. It's Christmas morning, so I really don't want to discuss anything embarrassing today." I helped myself to some wine.

"Bella? I thought I heard your voice," Alice trilled and danced into the kitchen. "How are you? I really missed you guys."

"Hey, Alice." I grinned. "When did you and Jasper get here?"

"Late last night, the flight from JFK was delayed by three hours. We were going to stop by, but it was well after eleven and we didn't know if you'd be asleep." She kissed my cheeks and then hugged me. "We're staying here for a while this time, Mom has a few projects she wants help with and I can't wait to see what the plan is for your wedding."

"That's great, Alice. I've missed you too," I admitted and I really had. Yes she was a little on the hyper-side but she was fun and I could do with all the help I could get with anything wedding-related.

"So who's designing your dress?" she asked and I laughed nervously.

"Um... no one. I can't really afford to go crazy and besides, I haven't even thought about what I want yet," I said and stepped back. "I just haven't had the time."

"You're getting married in March, Bella. Are you mad? Well, we can go into Seattle next week if you like?"

"Sounds great," I agreed.

"What else do you have to get?" Alice persisted.

Renee and Esme burst out laughing and I shot them a dirty look.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"If I were you, Alice, I would ask what she _has _managed to sort out. To say Bella's been dragging her feet would be quite the understatement," Esme offered and Alice gasped.

"Bella? How much do you have to do? Tell me." She pushed me toward the kitchen table and down into a chair.

"We've hired the marquee and the chairs," I began and picked nervously at my fingers. "Um, we've picked out our rings and secured Reverend Weber to do the service and... well that's it."

"Oh my goodness, you still have the suits, flowers, cake, invitations, music, food, drink, and your dress? I wouldn't be able to sleep with worry, Bella." Alice looked shocked, but I just shrugged.

"I'm too fucking worried about the guest list to even think about anything else," I admitted.

"Why? Is this because Edward's parents are coming?" Esme asked softly and I nodded.

"I just think they're going to fucking hate me; I more or less stole their son from them and I'm just rubbing their noses in it by inviting them along to watch us get married," I said and sighed. "We should have just gone to Vegas on our own. No damn hassle."

My Mom sat next to me and put her arm around my shoulders. "Sweetie, don't forget it was Edward's Father who made it possible for Edward to come out here."

"Absolutely, Bella. If he harboured any resentment towards you, he would stay away and if Edward thought for a minute they would be difficult or cause trouble, he would never have invited them in the first place," Esme added. "It's going to be a lovely day and you need to let yourself enjoy it. You only get to do this once you know."

I smiled and blew out a deep breath. "Yeah, I guess I should count myself lucky that I don't have to do this in some big church in London with the entire world watching. I'd probably fall on my ass walking up the aisle and make a complete fucking idiot of myself."

"I have to admit, Bella, I would have loved to see you meet the Queen. Can you imagine her face if you'd have let out a motherfucker or cocksucker in her presence?" Alice giggled. "That would have been priceless."

"The old battle-axe would probably have keeled over." Edward had reappeared in the kitchen and I turned to face him. "Charlie and Carlisle are on their way in, Esme."

"Thank you, Edward. Where on earth is Emmett?" Esme grumbled. "He should have been here twenty minutes ago." The telephone hanging on the wall began to ring. "This had better be him."

My Dad and Carlisle came inside then, closely followed by Jasper, and they were talking enthusiastically about fishing. They were indeed planning a trip on Harry's boat and to my surprise even Edward had agreed to go along.

"Are you insane?" I asked him and he smirked.

"It was Jasper's idea, he thought I wouldn't be able to have a normal 'bachelor' party so the idea was to make the fishing trip a watered down version. I think we'll be going a few weeks before the wedding for a weekend. You don't mind do you?" he asked softly.

A whole weekend? Apart from _those_ seven weeks, I hadn't gone longer than a day at work without seeing him. Of course I did mind, but I wasn't going to tell Edward that. "Nope I don't mind at all, I guess the girls can plan something for that weekend too."

"What do you want to do?" he murmured and kissed me. "To celebrate your last night of freedom."

"It depends on who I let organise it. If it's my Mom then anything could happen," I said. "Knowing her, she'll probably make us wear nurse's outfits and hire strippers."

"You know what? I don't want to know." Edward shook his head. "Let me just imagine you sitting at home with a bottle of something nice looking at childhood photos."

The door burst open and Emmett strode inside with Rose hot on his heels. They apologised for being late and wished us all a Merry Christmas.

"Edward?" Esme shouted and waved the telephone in her hand. "It's James; he wants to talk to you."

Edward walked over and took the phone. They spoke for a few minutes and then he smiled before glancing in my direction and waving me over.

"I think we can accommodate one more, James, the guest list isn't exactly extensive. But let me check with Bella." He covered the mouthpiece and whispered, "Would it be alright if James brought someone with him to the wedding?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah sure. Who?" I asked but he had already gone back to the call.

"Yes, bring her along. I can't wait to meet her." Their conversation continued for a few more minutes before Edward hung up.

"James has a girlfriend?" I asked again.

"Yes, he met her a few months ago but wanted to keep it quiet. It sounds pretty serious. They're spending Christmas with my parents and grandparents up at Balmoral." Edward grinned and said, "Her name's Victoria."

"Great." I smiled but inside I was panicking again.

Now there would be two princes who both would one day be Kings of motherfucking England, and two future queens at my wedding. How the fucking hell would we pull that off without the worlds press finding out?

_Breathe, Bella, breathe._

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><p><strong>AN Thanks to all of you reading, reviewing etc etc I really can't thank you enough. This will probably be the last update until the New Year. I will try and post as soon as I can but things are going to be so hectic for the next week or so!**

**I will happily send you a preview of the next chapter to all those who review. Oh and BTW ALWTRS has two _incredible_ banners thanks to Evilnat. They links are on my profile so go and take a look :)**

**Have a great Christmas & happy New Year!**

**xxKatyxx**


	7. Chapter 6 Third Best Day

**Happy New Year! Here's to a great 2012 for everyone :)**

**I own nothing of course & owe huge thanks and cyber-hugs to my wonderful prereaders & beta Prettyflour, Jaime Arkin & Twifan Mom.**

Chapter 6 - Third Best Day

BPOV

Remind me again; what, in God's name, was I doing in a car with my Mother, Esme, Rose and Alice? Travelling three-hours to Seattle, to pick out an over-priced dress that I would get to wear for a few hours, before I quite happily let Edward rip it from my body.

The talk in the car was driving me nuts: Strapless, spaghetti straps, full sleeves, short sleeves, floor-length, knee-length, white, ivory...

"Jesus, enough with this!" I cried and I saw Esme smile as she eyed me through the rear-view mirror. "Please, can we just wait and see what we find? My head feels fit to explode as it is."

"But you have something in mind, surely, Bella?" Alice asked.

"As long as the damn thing isn't four times the width of my ass that's pretty much my only requirement," I told her, my voice laced with frustration. "Oh, and I'd like to make it through the day without falling over, so we'd better stick to something that doesn't trail on the floor."

"See, you have been thinking about it." Alice beamed. "Now let's talk budget."

"Let's not," I muttered.

"Alice, Charlie and I are paying for the dress, so leave me to worry about that." My Mom cast a stern look at me when I began to object. "Bella, unlike your Father and I, I have every faith you won't fuck your marriage up. So, I want this day to be perfect for you."

"Mom, I am really grateful, but you can't aff-"

"Bella, I was pregnant with you and your Grandfather was ready to hunt Charlie down with his shotgun, so we eloped. We took off in the middle of the night and had a cheap-ass wedding on the Strip in Las Vegas because we couldn't afford anything else. Trust me, you won't get this chance again. I only have one daughter – I am looking forward to this you know. Your Father and I want to be a part of it as much as we can."

"Thanks, Mom," I said and she smiled.

"So, have you thought about white or ivory, Bella?" Alice continued and I groaned. "I mean technically-"

"Isn't white for 'pure' brides?" Rose interrupted. "Come on, we all know our Bella's no virgin, surely she has to have ivory?"

"Rose," I hissed. "Shut up." Of course, Esme knew Edward and I weren't saving ourselves for marriage. But she was the nearest thing Edward had to a Mom in this country, and I hated the talk of sex in her company. She didn't need to hear this shit. The thought of her finding out about our _Pretty Woman-esque_piano sex made my cheeks explode.

Alice giggled and Rose shook her head at me. "You really need to get help with that, Bella."

My Mom turned to face me from the passenger seat. "Bella, the piano? I was going to ask for lessons... I think I'll pass now."

There was no point in trying to lie my way out of it. I couldn't even look at Esme, I was mortified. So I closed my eyes and tried to pretend I was out of this fucking car and back at home. I kept my mouth shut until we got to Seattle and when we left the car I kept as far away from Esme as I could.

"Okay, so there are a few bridal stores that I found and the best ones are in more or less the same area of the city. We'll take a look around and see what you think, then you can make a decision," Alice told me. "One or two of them even do a selection of outfits for Mother-of-the-bride, so Renee you could spoil yourself, too if you like?"

Now, that I wasn't going to complain about. I loved my Mom to death, but her sense of style was worse than mine. The thought of a professional helping her choose something coordinated and classy would give me one less thing to worry about. Had the decision been left to her, I could totally see her in a "Green is Good" T-shirt with cut-off jeans and flip-flops.

The first few stores we visited were a complete waste. There seemed to be some sort of obsession going on with dresses that had a material explosion around the ass. I tried one on at Alice's insistence and looked like an abomination.

"Shit, Alice, look at the size of me. Edward won't get anywhere near me in this," I whispered as I looked on in horror at my reflection in the huge mirror. "I'll be a goddamn health and safety violation."

"Yes, perhaps that's not the best look for you, Bella," Alice agreed politely, but Rose wasn't quite so tactful.

"Fuck me, Swan, you look like a snowman. That's hideous – who in their right mind would wear that shit?"

"This is one of our most popular lines," the sales assistant replied curtly and all but threw us out of the store.

We trudged around the city feeling more and more deflated. I was tired, my feet were killing me, and I was sick and tired of trying on dresses that I despised. I wanted to go home and wait for my Fairy Godmother to turn up and save me from this hell. And by Fairy Godmother I meant Edward and his Staff. That thing had healing powers, I swear to God.

"Look, we'll try one more shop," Mom said tiredly, "then I think we should have some lunch and revitalize. There's plenty of time before we need to head home, and a break might be what we need."

I let Alice take the lead when we trudged inside the last shop. A woman who introduced her self as Irina, immediately came over to assist us and I made myself comfy on one of the couches while Alice did her thing.

"Bella," she said and pointed towards me, "is getting married at the end of March. It's a small, simple ceremony and she's very understated in her approach to fashion. Nothing billowing, fussy, or flashy."

Irina cast a look at me and nodded. "Let me show you what we have." She disappeared for a few minutes and came out pushing a rail full of dresses. "I know you said simple, but there is one dress which would look perfect on you, I'm sure."

We all watched as she rifled through the bags and pulled out one and unzipped it. It was longer than I wanted but there was no gaudy detail or embellishments that I could see.

"It only came in a few days ago. It's a new line from a designer who's still trying to find her feet, so it's very reasonably priced." She shook it out and held it up. "As you can see, it's strapless, and aside from the detail on the upper-half it's completely plain."

The detail she was referring to, I had missed when she first removed it from the bag. The top section was covered in delicate lace and just under the bust line there was a silver, swirl stitch encircling the dress. It was a chiffon-like material that hung in a lovely floaty, way. I actually rather liked it.

"Bella, that's really cute," my Mom cooed. "Why don't you try it on."

"I think I will. It's lovely," I admitted and followed Irina back toward the changing room.

"You'll need some good underwear, the fabric is not very forgiving," she told me. "We have some very flattering garments."

_What the fuck is she trying to say? Sheesh, talk about making me feel like Fat Bastard._

I stripped down to my underwear and she helped me into the dress. It was really fucking long and trailed on the floor, both at the front and back.

"We can adjust the length, don't worry about that." I felt her zip up the gown along my side and then she bent to pick up the excess fabric from the floor. "Come on, let's take a look in the mirror."

I walked out nervously. Admittedly, this was my favourite by a mile, so I'd be fucking pissed if I looked like an idiot in it.

I stepped onto a huge white sheet on the floor in front of the mirror and froze in shock.

"Oh, Bella, honey you're so beautiful." My Mom skipped over to me and I saw her eyes glaze over with tears. "That is the dress – don't you think?"

I agreed entirely, "Yeah, I think it is." For the first time today, I didn't feel like a moron in a stupid dress. I actually felt like a million dollars and not self-conscious in the slightest.

"Would you like to see some shoes? If we can measure with the shoe in place, we can begin making adjustments to the length. How tall is your fiancé?"

"Six-two – right?" I turned to look at Esme and she laughed softly and nodded.

"And you're no more than five-four, so you could do with a good four or five inch heel." Irina disappeared before I could object and came back with boxes full of shoes.

I looked on in horror at the selection. All of them were much, much too high. The heels were narrow and the toes pointy – for me they could be classed as life threatening. Heels I could manage, as long I wasn't required to do anything in them. If I wore any of these, I'd never manage the aisle, the dance or anything else.

"Don't you have anything smaller?" Alice asked, and another assortment of boxes was brought out in a blink of an eye.

I cast my eyes across them all and shrugged. "I don't mind as long as they're comfortable. It's not like anyone's going to see them underneath the dress is it?"

Alice took charge again and pointed to a pair of simple satin pumps in the same shade of ivory as the dress. They had a small silver band across the toe and a safe enough sized heel. "I think these will look great, Bella. What do you think?"

"Sure, we'll take those." I gave a nod and then sighed when I was asked to try them on so my measurements could be taken.

Once again, I was asked about the underwear I would be wearing and I flushed when she asked what kind of things my fiancé liked. Talk about inappropriate.

"Um... I don't know, he's a guy so I think he's more concerned with what's underneath," I whispered. "Do we really need to choose right now – I'm here with his family."

"Not at all, we do have a wonderful choice, so feel free to have a look. If you would prefer buying from elsewhere, please remember to bring it with you for your final fitting. Now let's get you back to the fitting room so you can change back to your clothes."

I took one last look at my reflection and followed Irina back to the fitting room. She removed the dress and left me to put my clothes on. When I rejoined the others, I saw my Mom handing over her credit card to pay with a huge smile on her face. I hadn't even thought about the actual cost of the dress. We had been told reasonable, but shit, these places charged hundreds of dollars for a friggin' garter.

I darted to her side and checked the total. In shock, I had to do a double-take, $500 for the dress. Surely that wasn't right? I kept quiet until we got outside, in case it was a mistake, but then I asked, "Is that just a deposit?"

Alice laughed and shook her head. "No, didn't you hear? The designer has only just started up, so she can't really name her price yet. You got a steal there, Bella, in a year or so, it would be four and five times more than that."

"Thank you, Mom." I gave her a hug and kissed her cheek. "I love it."

"Aw, baby. It's my pleasure." She stepped back and looked to Esme. "Right, now we eat, and then it's our turn, right, Esme."

So we weren't quite done with the shopping. But, at least I could sit back and relax, my part for the day was certainly over.

We didn't arrive home until after nine that evening and there were bags and boxes piled high on our laps, in the trunk and on the floor of the car. Mom and Esme had their outfits, as did Rose and Alice. We found a cute little lingerie shop on our way back to the car. I found a sexy but essentially supportive bodice with matching panties and to my absolute horror, Esme asked if she could buy it for me.

That had been too much for my cheeks to take, and they had been blood red with embarrassment ever since.

Esme dropped me off at home, and as I made my way up the drive I heard the soothing tones of the piano drifting toward me. I was freezing, but I knew if Edward heard me he'd stop playing, so I lingered outside until his song was over. It was nothing familiar to me, but it was beautiful none-the-less. When I was satisfied he had finished I ran up the stairs and into the apartment over the garage.

Edward looked up and smiled. He had a pencil in one hand and was writing something down on a piece of paper. "I was beginning to think you weren't coming back."

"Nah, I was with Alice, she was in her element. I'm sure she missed her calling, personal shopping is definitely more her thing. I'm exhausted though, and I missed you." I plonked myself down on his knee and peered down at the paper. "What are you doing?"

"I missed you too, Bella." Edward looked at me shyly. "I came up here to practice and get used to playing again and something new just popped into my head. I've been working on that for most of the day, I was just writing down some of the chords."

"What? Like something you made up? Wow, that's fucking awesome. Can I hear it again?" I asked and he frowned.

"Again?"

"I heard you playing when I came in. I didn't want to interrupt so I just waited until you were done before coming to see you." I kissed him and he slipped his hand under my shirt to rest softly on my back.

"Maybe later, it needs some more work and I'd rather you here it officially when I am completely happy with it. Besides, I haven't eaten dinner yet and I'm starving. You don't mind if we order a pizza do you?" He stood up and wrapped his arm around me.

"Sounds good to me." I snuggled up against him.

"Did you find a dress?" he asked and I could tell he was smiling.

"Yes. I also found shoes and some other stuff that you won't get to see until everyone else leaves us alone." I giggled.

"What kind of stuff?" Edward asked with a cheeky glint in his eye. "Can I get an idea of what I've got to look forward to?"

I moved in front of him and shook my head. "Nope, not a clue, baby. Sorry – but that's the rule."

"I think you'll find that applies only to the dress," he murmured. "Not other accessories."

"Someone's trying to bend the rules, I think." I grinned. "But, I won't tell you."

"I could always make you," he said.

"You don't scare me, Edward Cullen," I teased. "But, Alice, you should fear. She's coming with a choice of suits for you, I said I'd let you pick your own. Have you decided who you're asking to be best man?"

"James," he replied quickly. "We were always close, and he's the one I've missed the most since I came here. I know he won't be able to come to the rehearsal or fittings but I can't imagine anyone else. I wanted to check it was okay with you first and then I thought I'd call him to ask if he would."

"You don't need my permission, Edward. It's your best man so it's your decision," I said and he shook his head firmly.

"Bella, this is our wedding and I have no doubt it's going to be the third most wonderful day of my life to date. So, I want it to be everything we both want. I love you." He kissed my nose and for a moment I was lost in a emotional haze.

"Wait a minute," I stepped back and frowned at him. "Third most wonderful day? That's not exactly the most romantic thing a girl needs to hear you know. What were the other two things that beat getting married to your amazing girlfriend?"

Edward rested his head on mine and rubbed his nose across mine. "Number two is the day I saw you in Buckingham Palace. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, Bella. I think I honestly fell for you the second I saw you blush after you caught me staring at you so blatantly."

"I was blushing because I thought you'd caught me blatantly eye-fucking you. I distinctly remember thinking the words, 'homana, homana, homana'," I admitted and Edward chuckled. "And number one?"

"When I first became Edward Cullen, I felt like I had everything I ever wanted," he paused.

_The day he was given his own life. Who could blame him for that?_

_"_I had my freedom, my own life and chance to do whatever the hell I wanted, but, it all meant nothing without you. So, I followed you, I came to Forks, and despite having nothing to my name, you told me you still loved me, and still wanted me. Knowing I got to keep you forever, Bella, that's my number one."

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><p><strong>AN Hope you liked it. I'll quite happily send a preview of Chapter 7 to all of you who review. **

**Thanks for reading, alerting, adding to your faves and of course for all of your lovely reviews. I effing love you to bits :)**

**See you next week, and t**here might be an old face or three making an appearance in that chapter ;)****

**Katy**


	8. Chapter 7  Willy The Weener

**Hi! Thanks for the amazing response as always everyone! We have a bachelorette party to get on with...**

Chapter 7 - Willy The Weener

BPOV

The weeks that passed after Christmas were a flurry of wedding-related chaos. Alice was my saviour, and she pulled out all the stops to get things sorted for me. Thanks to her we now had a cake, flowers, music, suits, and two old friends who were providing their services as caterers. Yes, Aro and Markus were coming to Forks to cater my wedding and I couldn't wait to see them again.

In nine days I would be married. In nine days I would be Mrs. Cullen.

I walked out of school at the end of the day, but instead of the glorious sight of Edward waiting for me, it was my Mom and Esme. Tonight was my bachelorette party – part one. We were heading to the casino-come-nightclub in Sequim for a "Ladies Night." And boy, I knew exactly what that would entail.

_Motherfucking strippers. _

A few hours later I was primped, preened and buffed to within an inch of my life. My hair had been curled and left to hang loose, and then I was fitted with a veil complete with flashing tiara and an assortment of shit sewn onto it that I didn't bear thinking about.

I had been relieved when Rose informed me there would be no fancy dress theme for the night. But Jesus-fuck I changed my mind when I saw _my _outfit. It was a black corset with a drawstring front, a short ruffled black skirt and a pair of fishnets.

"No fucking way!" I shrieked, "You want me to wear _that?_"

"Trust me, Bella. You'll love it when you've got it on," Rose said calmly. "Come on, I'll help you."

I looked at everyone else in their perfectly normal and pretty dresses and frowned. "Look, why can't I wear something cute?" But I was waved away, and in hindsight, for the first time in my life I was glad I yielded.

"Holy shit, this top is motherfucking awesome." I stared at the reflection in the mirror with my mouth almost on the floor. "I have fucking boobs."

"See, I told you. Hot stuff, B," Rose said smugly.

I didn't even complain about the heels she gave to me because I couldn't stop staring at my newborn cleavage. I wobbled back out into the lounge and gestured wildly to my chest. I guess I went a little overboard because Alice thrust a glass of wine at me and told me to drink up and shut up.

"We have about fifteen minutes to kill before the Limo arrives," Mom told us. "So I'm sure we can squeeze in one or two glasses of something nice before then."

"There's going to be plenty to go around in the car too. I mean there are only seven of us, and it seats ten right?" Angela smirked.

"No, there should be ten if a few others arrive in time," Alice told her and I looked to her in confusion.

"Ten? Who are the other three?" There was certainly no one from school who I wanted coming along for this night. I fully intended to let myself go, and none of the prudes at school would approve of that.

"Well, like I said they might not be ready in time-" Alice was cut off by the chime of the doorbell. "Ooh, they're here."

"Who's here? Do I have three friends I forgot about?" I asked Jess and she shrugged.

Esme opened the door and as soon as I heard the high-pitched squeal I knew exactly who was here.

_Motherfucking Markus._

"Esme, how wonderful to see you. Mwah, mwah. Oh, I'm loving this little town, no wonder you stayed." I couldn't help but grin as he burst through the door and danced over to me. "Cinderbella, look at you, precious. Didn't I tell you this would happen? Marrying Prince Charming after all. Ooh, you're delicious, sweetie."

"I can't believe you're here, Markus. Are you coming with us?" I asked and laughed as he clapped excitedly.

"Of course we are – could you see us fishing with the boys? Goodness, no, the only rod I like is firmly attached to my Aro. Do you like my outfit?" He twirled in front of me and I giggled.

He had on really tight leather pants with a button down pink shirt, which was open halfway revealing his chest.

"It's perfectly you," I told him and then saw Aro step inside. "Oh my God, Aro, hi!"

"Bella, I hope you don't mind us inviting ourselves along. Not that Markus would take no for an answer of course." Aro smiled and rolled his eyes at his flamboyant partner.

"No, it's brilliant that you came. I've missed you guys," I said honestly and gave him a hug.

The two men mingled with everyone else but before I joined them, something caught my attention. I saw Esme talking to someone else by the door and I heard Edward's voice. I hadn't seen him since I left for work this morning, so I ran straight to the door.

"What are you doing here?" I asked and practically launched myself into his arms. "Are you coming too?"

"I wasn't planning on it, but I think it might be better if I did. Shit, Bella, you look so damn sexy... I... I..." He stepped back and I giggled as his eyes trailed up my body before landing on my chest and freezing.

"Edward picked us up from the airport in Port Angeles and drove us over here." I whipped my head around and grinned when I saw Tanya standing by the door. "Hello, Bella. How are you?"

"Tanya, you're coming too? Wow, this is such a fantastic surprise?" I turned to Edward, who was still having trouble looking anywhere but at my tits, and said, "Did you know about this?"

"Huh? Um... sort of... I... um... what did you say again?" He finally looked up and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, that top is very distracting."

"Edward, really," Esme said, but I just laughed. "Come inside, Tanya. We have a few more minutes before the car arrives. Let me introduce you to Renee, Bella's Mother. You'll just love her, she's so funny." Tanya and Esme disappeared inside the house and left Edward and I alone.

"You like it then?" I asked, "My outfit?"

"It's quite embarrassing just how much I like it. Do you have to go out? I'm sure you'd have a much better night if you just came home with me now." He gripped my waist and kissed me. "You have no idea how much I want you, Bella." I felt him push against me as he walked me backwards before pressing me against the house.

His lips were on mine and his hands were... everywhere. On my waist, up my skirt, holding my face, in my hair and he copped a feel of my tits of course. I seriously thought he was going to fuck me right there, and the wine in my system told me that was perfectly fine.

I didn't hear the engine of the car as it pulled up in front of the house, and I didn't hear the car door open as the driver got out to wait for us. I only came back to the real world when Markus came and interrupted.

"I see nothing changes for you two. But I suppose a house is definitely more robust than my bathroom." His laugh stopped Edward dead in his tracks and he pulled away quickly.

"Cockblocker," I muttered and Edward smirked.

"Edward, get your ass home," Rose ordered. "We'll be back later and you two can do shit like that all night long."

"He's leaving at five tomorrow morning to go fishing and I won't see him until Sunday," I said and pouted. "Why don't we stay here and party?"

"But, I wanna see the strippers," Jess moaned and Edward's jaw tensed. I guess he didn't know about that part.

"Strippers?" he asked quietly.

"Jess, I told you to keep your mouth shut." Rose gave her an exasperated look and then said, "Don't get all territorial, Edward. They're up on stage and we'll be in the crowd miles away from any action – I promise, not a cock in sight."

Edward didn't look much happier but he forced a smile. I loved him when he acted all prehistoric and possessive.

But, then my Mom went and opened her mouth, "Except for this one of course!" She waved a huge inflatable dick in the air and burst out laughing. "I've called him 'Willy The Weener'"

"I think I need to leave." Edward leaned forward and gave me another brief kiss. "Have a great time, love. I mean it – enjoy yourself. I love you."

"I love you too. I think I'm looking forward to coming home more than anything else." I blew him a kiss and scurried down to the car feeling his eyes on me the entire time.

"Damn, Bella, that was a hot make-out session. You're going to be walking like a cowboy tomorrow," Angela said wistfully before winking. "I need to get me one of those. Unless you're willing to share that one?"

"Not a fucking chance," I said.

More gifts and accessories were handed out in the car. Flashing badges, mini-vibrating dildos, handcuffs, and a pack of cards with dares were just some of them. My Mother fell in love with Markus, as I knew she would and they cackled mischievously non-stop for most of the journey.

The complimentary bottles of champagne disappeared in a matter of minutes, and Alice had the car stop outside the grocery store on the outskirts of Forks, so she and Tanya could buy some more. They came back armed with a bagful of disposable cameras and what looked like the store's entire stock of wine.

We got louder and louder and the noise must have been unbearable for the poor driver. He didn't even get any relief from the window separating the front and rear of the car, because Jess and Rose kept retracting it so they could ask him to open the sunroof. Of course he refused, we were all drunk and there was no telling what would happen if one if us stuck our head outside.

I chatted to Tanya and asked her about life back in London. I knew she had played a huge part in getting Edward's new life set up and I hadn't been able to thank her until now. She dismissed my attempt and put her arm around my shoulder.

"Bella, I love that man to death and it was terrible to see him so depressed and lost. I knew he hated his old life, but I have to admit I worried about him when he first left for the States. I wondered how he'd adapt, but when he met us at the airport, I almost didn't recognise him, darling. It's obvious how much this lifestyle suits him. I have never seen him looking so relaxed and content – I'm pleased I helped make it happen for him. Besides, my new job is so much less stressful than covering for Edward like I had to before." She smiled at me and added, "Although, I was a little surprised at how small the town is. Markus is already trying to persuade Aro to branch out and when he saw how limited the choices were for dining out, he wanted to look at properties."

"I really don't think Forks is ready for Markus. I think an alien landing would be less controversial," I said, laughing. "Are you staying with us?"

"No, we're booked into the local B&B. Edward offered to let us stay with you two, but I wouldn't want to intrude, and after seeing that little display outside Esme's, I'm glad I said no." She winked and refilled my glass. "Congratulations, Bella. I'm so glad I asked Aro to switch your tables."

"So am I, Tanya." I clinked her glass and smiled widely to myself. "So am I."

The car arrived at the 7Cedars casino and the driver walked around to open the door. "Here we are, Ladies... and um...gentlemen. I'll be here to collect you at midnight, is that correct?"

"Yes, thank you," Alice said and handed him a tip. "I'm sorry about the mess, and the noise."

"Nothing I haven't heard before. I'm sure it will be much quieter on the return journey. Have a good night." He waited patiently for us to clamber out.

We were shown into the entertainment room, called Club7, and escorted to our table, which to my horror was smack bang in front of the stage. The hostess snickered when she noticed Markus and Aro taking a seat. But she didn't object – why would she? One look at Markus with his pink lip gloss and painted fingernails told you all you needed to know.

"You told Edward we were nowhere near the action, Rose," I hissed. "Christ."

"Of course I did, Bella, did you not see the guys face? I think he'd have chained you to the truck if he knew we had the best seats in the house." She laughed and waggled her eyebrows. "And you, my friend are going to have the night of your life."

The strippers were supported by a drag-queen comedian which I did like despite the fact most of her - or should I say his - jokes were at my expense. But all too soon, the lights dimmed and smoke rolled onto the stage like an approaching monster. As soon as six men took their place, the entire room screamed wildly. And no one louder than my frigging Mother. She screamed like a maniac, and jumped up on her chair waving the inflatable dick around wildly.

"Go on, Renee!" Esme cheered and my mother screamed again.

After their first dance which just involved a lot of thrusting and rolling of their hips, the guys had stripped down to just a pair of tight pants and gathered together in the centre of the stage.

"Welcome lovely ladies, are you ready for the sexiest thing you've ever seen?" One shouted into a microphone and once again the room went fucking nuts. "Well, we have an awesome show prepared for you, but first we need volunteers. Six to be exact. We're going to come into the audience and pick out our assistants."

_Oh fuck no, no, no. _

I cringed as they jumped down and started stalking towards our table. Four wandered off in other directions but two exchanged a wink and continued over. I tried to shrink as low as I could in the chair, and hide behind my glass of wine. Of course, I was wearing a flashing _fucking_tiara so my plan failed. One of them crouched down by my chair and smirked.

"Is it your bachelorette party, sugar?" he asked and I only managed a pathetic whimper in acknowledgement. "Well, we can't possibly let you miss this. Come on, up you go."

I shook my head and begged, "no", but he took my hand and pulled me to my feet. I looked to my friends for support but they were too busy cheering and encouraging me.

"No, please. I really don't want to-"

"You know what, I think you need some moral support. We'll take one of your friends up with us, so you won't feel alone. How's that?" He told his colleague to make a choice as I continued my futile pleading.

My Mom began dancing around again with the inflatable dick and she was chosen to accompany me. Fuck my life. I wanted to curl up into a ball and die. Everyone at the table squealed and I saw an array of flashes as they took pictures as I was dragged to the stage.

We were told to sit on the chairs that had been placed on the stage and then each stripper took his place behind us. A microphone was passed down the line and each woman introduced herself to the audience.

"I'm, Bella, and um... this is my bachelorette party. And I hate my friends - you motherfuckers," I added and threw my friends the finger.

The guy who stood behind me began massaging my shoulders and whispered, "Relax, sugar."

I cringed and squirmed out of his touch, turning to face him I said, "Don't do that again. And stop calling me fucking, sugar."

"I'M RENEE AND I'M HERE FOR MY BABY'S MOTHERFUCKING BACHELORETTE PARTY. WHOOP, WHOOP!"

"RENEE YOU'RE SO FUCKING LUCKY TO BE UP THERE. LICK HIS NIPPLES FOR ME!" Esme yelled out and I saw Alice drop her face into her hands before leaning over to mutter something in her mother's ear.

Oh dear God. This was going to be one big giant clusterfuck.

The things we had to do were all varying shades of humiliating. I had to rub oil onto the guy's chest, lick cream from his naval, and then I was supposed to remove his belt with my teeth but I had no intention of getting that close. I fumbled with the buckle with my fingers and like a complete prude, I squeezed my eyes shut and turned my head to the side as he presented his crotch right in my face.

"Now, it's time to tear our pants off, ladies."

Cue more screams from the audience. I swear they were all fucking perverts and I almost cried with shame.

"Just rip the front down, hard and fast. They'll come straight off and reveal the good stuff."

I gagged at the thought and closed my eyes again. I took a deep breath and pulled the damn pants and sure enough, off they came. Thinking it was over I opened my eyes and I screamed. Right in my face was the guys dick covered only by a motherfucking leopard-print thong which was at least two sizes too small.

"Oh that's fucking disgusting," I cried and put my hands over my face.

When all the pants were discarded, the strippers turned around and bent over.

"Come on, ladies. Spank us, we've been bad boys."

There was no way in hell I was touching his fucking ass. I folded my arms across my chest and shook my head. I didn't care if I got booed, that shit was not happening. My Mom actually came to my rescue and she stood between her man and mine and began slapping them and gyrating her hips.

I was too relieved to care and I mouthed "thank you" to her but she was far too wrapped up in the ass-slapping to notice.

Thank fuck that was the last thing we had to do. I was off that stage and back in my seat like greased-weasel shit. I threw back several shots that Alice had poured out for us all and sighed.

"That was fucking awful," I muttered. "I never want to think about that again."

"Tough shit, Bella. We got it on camera," Jess shouted and waved a camera in the air.

My Mom received a huge round of applause from the crowd as she rejoined our table. "That was so much fun, I can't believe you didn't like it, Bella."

"It was so gross, he was greasy, and he kept touching me and calling me fucking 'Sugar.' It made me feel sick." I shook my head and wrinkled my nose.

I used alcohol as a means to push the nightmarish twenty minutes out of my head and I started to relax again. I was having a great time now that that I wasn't having to participate in the action and I cheered on my friends, as Rose, Angela, and Jess took their turn on stage.

As much as I was enjoying myself, I was still desperate to see Edward. He would be away the entire day and night tomorrow, and I was dreading it. They were only fishing, so it was insane to feel so jealous, but male or female I hated sharing him. As the show wrapped up the others were engrossed in the final dance and no one noticed when I pulled out my cellphone.

_I can't wait to come home. It has been a night from motherfucking hell. Will U wait up 4 me? B x_

His reply came straight away.

_**I'm still **_**up**_** from earlier, Bella. I'll be waiting don't U worry about that. E x**_

I was just about to write another message when something hit me in the face. I snatched at it, trying to see what the fuck it was.

"Oh that is just wrong. Fuck me," I muttered and threw that damned leopard-print thong across the table. The strippers were standing right on the edge of the stage in all of their naked glory and absorbing the hysterical screams from the room.

_Don't know why they're so excited, they'd stroke out if they ever saw Edward's._

"Ooh, I'm taking this home," Markus purred and stuffed it into Aro's pocket. "Would you wear that for me, sweedikins?"

"Dude, that's sick. You want him to wear something that another man has had his bell-end in?"Angela looked at Markus in disgust. "What if he has fucking herpes?"

"Angela, I just had that thing in my face – shut up please!" I begged and wiped furiously at my face with a napkin.

"Silly girl, we'll wash it of course. But we left most of our "outfits" at home in London. This will do just nicely," Markus said. "Just in case we feel the need to play."

"You have outfits? Like what? Charlie and I were think-"

"No, no, no. Please stop talking," I complained and stood up. "I want to go home."

"Bella, you need to embrace a little bit of variety. There's nothing wrong with being adventurous or kinky, sweetie." My Mom smiled at me but her eyes could barely focus. She was such an embarrassing drunk. "I'm sure Edward would appreciate the effort."

"Variety I have no problem with and neither does Edward. Discussing it with my parents, however, I do have a big fucking problem with." I laughed despite myself and held out my hand. "Come on, Mom, let's get some air, I think you need it."

The car was already waiting and we all filtered from the club and climbed inside. The drive was a lot more subdued on the way back. Angela and Esme fell asleep straight away and the rest of us talked quietly amongst ourselves.

"Apart from the thong incident and the stage thing, did you enjoy yourself, Bella?" Alice asked and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Yeah, I did, Alice. It's been a lot of fun," I said, only lying a little. In my opinion the highlight of the night was yet to come. "Thanks, you've been wonderful. I honestly don't know how I would have pulled all of this together without you."

"You're welcome, I love doing it and you're like my sister now, Bella."

"Can we stop the car? I really need to pee," Jessica called out and the driver pulled over straight away.

As we were waiting, the engine started to make a really strange noise and then it spluttered before cutting out. The driver tried to restart it, but the engine just turned over and over without sparking to life.

"Shit, are we stranded? Jesus, look outside, we're in the middle of fucking nowhere!" Rose shouted. "Hey, driver man. Can you get it started?"

"I don't know, I know nothing about cars." The driver shrugged and unsuccessfully tried to start it again.

"Now what?" Alice asked. "Will the company send a replacement?"

"This is the only one we have. I need to phone for a tow but I'll get you girls home don't worry. I am so sorry." The driver pulled out his phone and got out of the car.

"Where are we?" I asked and peered through the window into the darkness.

"About twenty minutes away I think," Mom answered. "Once they get someone out to us, we should be home quickly."

"I'm calling Edward," I said and dialled his number. "Why don't you call Dad, Mom? If they can get Emmett and Carlisle up, we can all get a lift home. It beats staying out here in the middle of the night waiting for a tow."

"Bella?" Edward answered immediately. "Are you almost home?"

"Not exactly, the fucking car's broken down. I don't suppose you'd want to come and pick me up?" I asked him but I knew he would.

"I'm on my way. Where are you?"

I gave him the best description as I could and asked if he could round up a few other cars. Sure enough, forty minutes later, four sets of headlights appeared in the darkness. The tow truck still hadn't arrived so it had been a good call.

"I'd ask if you had a good night, but I don't think I need to," my Dad said as we all staggered towards them. "Come on then, who needs a ride?"

I hung back slightly, waiting for everyone to sort out who was in which car and smiled. Emmett was driving Rose, Angela and Jess. Alice, Esme and Tanya were with Carlisle, which left Mom and Dad taking Aro and Markus.

"Ooh, can I use the fluffy handcuffs, Renee? I've always wanted to ride in the back of a Police car. Officer Aro, you need to secure the suspect - he's been a naughty boy." Markus did his high-pitched squeal of laughter and flicked back his hair.

This was the first time my Dad had met Markus and he looked at my Mom in horror. She just waved her hand and laughed. "Markus, you're my new favourite person on the planet."

"So, no one needs to come in the truck then?" I asked and tried not to smile at the prospect of finally being alone with my man. "Thanks for a great night, guys. See you tomorrow." I towed Edward back to the truck and pushed him inside. "Please hurry up, Edward."

The wheels actually screeched on the blacktop as he drove away and it made me giggle. I sat as close to him as I could and began kissing his neck and face. I even tried to hitch up my skirt and climb into his lap, but he stopped me.

"Stop it, Bella, I can't do that while I'm driving." He gripped the steering wheel and groaned. "Shall I pull over?"

"The others are behind us, I don't think Dad would be too happy if he stopped and caught us. He'd probably fucking drown you in the river tomorrow." I shifted back and smiled. "Just keep your eyes on the road okay?"

He nodded and then looked down as I opened the button on his pants. He swallowed hard and let out a shaky breath. I pushed his boxers down and lowered my head.

"Shit, shit, shit," he choked out as I wrapped my mouth around him. "Jesus, Bella, that's amazing."

I sucked and licked him and loved how he responded. He couldn't do much besides curse and hearing it was really hot.

"God, baby, so fucking good." His head slammed back against the rest and his body went rigid before he growled out one final, "Fuck," and came in my mouth.

I was just about to sit up when his hand shoved my face back down again roughly.

_Again? Selfish much, Edward?_

"What the fuck, Edward?"

"There's a fucking police car behind us, Bella," he said, panic-stricken. "Stay the fuck down."

"Just keep driving, and he'll probably turn off the road at the next intersection." I tried to button his pants back up, but it was really fucking hard in this position.

Just when I thought we were in the clear, the noise of the sirens began to sound and the lights from the cruiser flashed in the darkness.

"We're fucked. Your Dad's going to find out what you were doing and shoot me," Edward muttered as he pulled the truck over.

"Calm down, Edward, I'll just pretend to be asleep," I tried to reassure him. "It'll be fine."

I heard a car door slam behind us and footsteps crunched in the dirt at the side of the road. Edward looked in the rear-view mirror and laughed darkly.

"This gets even better, it's Office Fucking Knobjockey."

_Oh shit._

Edward continued muttering obscenities and I heard the tap, tap, tap on the window. As he lowered the drivers-side window I peered up and tried to put on my most innocent face.

"Hey, Paul." I smiled sweetly but judging by his expression he was in full-on asshole mode. "Something wrong?"

"It's Officer Lahote tonight, Bella," he answered curtly and looked to Edward. "Can you please step out of the car, Sir."

I sat up and reached for the door handle but Edward stopped me. "Just wait in the car, Bella. It's cold outside, okay." He opened his door and climbed out, slamming it behind him.

"Why did you pull me over?" Edward asked and Paul scoffed.

"Like you don't know. I'll need to see your driver's license and registration."

"Sure it's in the cab, let me just grab it." Edward turned but I had already pulled it from the glove box and jumped from the truck.

"Here." I passed Paul the documents and stood next to Edward.

Paul glanced at me and then his eyes dropped a little further south zeroing in on my chest. "Um, right. These seem to be in order. But there is a more serious offence I believe has taken place." Not once did he attempt to look away and I cringed when I saw Edward's face.

_Mad as fuck._

"Hey, _Officer,_keep your eyes off her and talk to me," Edward growled and side-stepped slightly to conceal me from Paul's gaze. "And regarding your accusation, I have no idea what you're referring to."

Paul was just about come back when headlights rounded the corner and another car stopped in front of the truck. It was my Dad. Markus was peering through the window excitedly, and my Mom and Aro were asleep.

"Lahote?" Dad squinted as he focused on the three of us. "What's going on?"

"I thought I saw a tail-light out," Paul stammered.

_The lying motherfucker._

"I call bullshit," I muttered and glared at Paul.

"Enough, Bella." Dad shot me the 'cop look,' which I knew meant shut up, so I did. He walked to the rear of the truck and called out sceptically, "Well they're all working now."

"Chief, I could have sworn one was out; I guess it was my mistake. But, after I pulled the guy over, I noticed he had a passenger. Funny thing is, I couldn't see Bella at all while I was behind him. Seems a little suspicious doesn't it?"

"I felt a little sick, I've spent most of the evening drinking and it caught up with me. I sat forward and had my head in my hands, that's where I was." I rolled my eyes and shrugged casually.

"Care to explain why his fly is open?" Paul retorted smugly and I glanced down to see Edward's shirt sticking out through the hole.

"I dunno, Paul. We called the guys to come pick us up after the Limo broke down. Edward was already in bed, he probably got dressed in a rush." I cocked my head at him and smirked. "Care to explain why you've been looking at my fiance's crotch? Are you feeling a little confused?"

"Okay, come on, let's sort this out like adults." Charlie walked over and stepped between us. "Paul, was Edward speeding?"

"No."

"Driving erratically?"

"No."

"We already know there was no broken taillight, so was there anything else which gave you reason to pull him over in the first place?"

"Chief, I just... It is almost two in the morning." Paul looked like a deer caught in headlights. "Something didn't seem right - what if the truck had been stolen."

"What? Who the hell would steal this piece of shit? You suck at lying, Paul." I shook my head and gave him my filthiest look. "First you say we had a broken taillight, then you thought the truck was stolen and now you're claiming we were up to no good. Talk about abusing your position."

"Come on, Bella. Let me handle this," Charlie warned again. "Paul, if you thought it might be stolen, did you run the plates to check it out?"

"No Chief," he admitted and Charlie sighed.

"Then as long as his documents are in order, we can send them on their way," Charlie said and Paul nodded.

"Of course."

"Edward, Bella, go home and get some sleep. We'll be round to pick Edward up at six okay?" Charlie told us.

"Thank you, Charlie. I'll see you in the morning." Edward snatched back his licence with a menacing glare at Paul and then walked me around to the passenger side.

"Night, Dad." I grinned as Edward unnecessarily helped me into the truck and kissed my hand before he closed the door.

"I really fucking hate that moron. Such an absolute fucking tosser," he said when we were almost home. "He ruined the best fucking car journey I've ever had." I laughed at Edward's use of the word 'fucking', it sounded so funny coming from him like that.

"Well, we're still driving, so anything could happen." I winked and said nothing else until Edward turned up our driveway. As soon as he cut the engine I clambered onto his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Wanna fool around in here for a while?"

He kissed me for a few minutes and I assumed his answer was yes. But then I felt his hands on my shoulders and he pushed me back. "As much as I would love to fool around with you in our truck, Bella, that outfit is simply too nice to waste out here. I definitely think we need to go inside so I can appreciate it a little more."

"I like that idea," I whispered, and Edward had me out of the truck and scooped up in his arms in the blink of an eye.

He raced into the house and upstairs, kissing me like the world was about to end, and just like earlier that evening, his hands were everywhere. Only this time, there was no cockblocking Markus to interrupt us.

"Jesus, Bella. Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you look tonight?" Edward breathed and squeezed my ass underneath my skirt. "I was so fucking jealous... I didn't want you to go anywhere without me."

"Only you," I panted as his lips attacked my neck and his teeth grazed against my skin. "You should know that, Edward."

It did seem like a shame to waste this outfit, and judging from his reaction so far I assumed a little adjustment would benefit the both of us. I pushed away from him and he frowned. A look of frustration and burning desire raged in his eyes.

"Sit down," I told him and waited for him to do as I said.

He was perched on the edge of the bed; I moved to stand between his parted legs. Keeping my eyes on his, I pulled slowly at the ties holding my top together at the front. Edward's eyes were flickering up and down from my eyes to my tits and back again. As the material parted and the cool air hit my chest, Edward's hands grabbed my thighs and tugged me close to him.

"Bella, I swear to God, I can't... all fucking night I've been waiting," he choked out. "Let me... please."

He was up and kissing me frantically, pushing up my skirt and tearing away my fishnets and underwear. I reached to remove my top but he stopped me.

"No. You're leaving that one, baby. You look so perfect - every man's fucking fantasy, Bella." He bent at the knees and ground against me with a groan against my lips.

His jeans were pushed down enough to release his dick and he pressed me up against the wall. "Up," he commanded and the intensity in his voice sent me weak at the knees.

I grinned and did as he asked. I loved it when this Edward came out to play; he was so damn hot. I wrapped my legs around him and whimpered as I felt him tease my entrance.

With the cockiest smirk on his face I'd ever fucking seen he shook his head. Keeping me in his arms, he backed towards the bed. "I've changed my mind. I don't want to miss this view."

We fell down onto the bed and he raised me up slightly so I could shift position. As he lowered me back down we both moaned at the sensation of him easing inside me. The smirk vanished instantly and his jaw tensed as I began to rock back and forth. As I moved with more urgency his hands gripped onto my ass tighter and he held me as close to him as he could, trying to guide and control the pace.

I felt the all too familiar sensation of flames scorching every inch of my skin and my stomach tightened. I couldn't move as I climaxed, so Edward sat up and held us together. He kissed me and with one final thrust I felt his groan vibrate against my lips and he stilled.

I leaned back slightly and watched him. The way his eyes became heavy and sleepy and the slight part in his mouth as he caught his breath was probably the single-most beautiful sight on this goddamn planet. Fuck the Northern Lights, Machu Picchu, or the Rockies. Edward so content and blissfully satisfied rocked my world.

Oh yeah, and this outfit was _so_ coming out to play again, soon.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**Hope you liked it? Thank you as always for the most fantastic pre-readers/beta Prettyflour, Jaime Arkin & Twifanmom. **

**Sneaky peek at the next chapter if you want one :) Thanks for reading. Oh and links to the picture of Bella's wedding dress & outfit for the bachelorette party can be found on my profile.**

**Prettyflour did her own take on B&E's honeymoon which you really should have a look at. It's really sweet, and is so much more fitting than any others I've read. It's called My Forever :)**

**See you next week.**

**Katy**

**xx**


	9. Chapter 8  Motherfucking Fish Killer

**A/N Thank you all for reading :) Now it's Edward's time to... fish!**

Chapter 8 – Motherfucking Fish Killer

EPOV

I'd been asleep all of two hours when the annoying alarm sounded a little after five-thirty in the morning. With a groan, I untangled myself from the warmth of Bella's arms and legs and got out of bed. I washed my face, dressed quickly and was ready to go, when Emmett rang me to say they were almost to my house.

"Bella, I'm going now," I whispered and kissed her cheek softly.

"I'll miss you, baby," she murmured sleepily. "I'd say have fun, but we're talking about seven men on a boat, fishing; I'm not sure you understand what you're getting yourself into."

"I wish I'd said no – staying here with you is a far more attractive alternative." I kissed her again and stood up. "I love you and I'll see you tomorrow, love."

"Love you too, Edward," she blew me a kiss and snuggled back into the covers.

I think she had fallen back to sleep before I even closed the door. Charlie was already parked up in the drive waiting with Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper. So I headed straight outside to the car and squeezed into the back seat with a yawn.

"You look like I feel, Edward," Emmett grumbled. "Rose kept me up for most of the night."

"Emmett, I don't think we need to hear details," Carlisle piped up from the front of the car. "We're all a little tired thanks to our late-night recovery mission. Esme seemed especially lively for such an early hour in the morning."

"Well, from what I was told in the car they had quite a night," Charlie said with a smirk. "Did you hear the details, Edward?"

"Um, no... Bella was pretty drunk, she didn't really have much to say," I replied.

"I bet she didn't," Emmett said. "Rose, on the other hand, had some interesting things to say."

I noticed the others exchange a knowing look and I wondered what I was missing. "Like what?"

"Just about the night's activities. You know they were going to see strippers, right?" Emmett asked and I nodded.

"Well, Bella and Renee were taken on stage to 'assist' the performance," Carlisle said, using air quotations.

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked, not even trying to hide the jealousy in my voice.

Jasper patted my shoulder and laughed. "Hey, it was all fun, Edward. That's what girls do, I know Alice certainly did."

"What did they do?" I persisted and Emmett laughed loudly.

"Rose said something about whipped cream, baby oil, and leopard-print thongs." He shot me a wink before adding, "Just a regular night for you guys I'm sure."

"Whipped cream? You mean they had to... lick it off?" I scowled not liking the idea of that too much.

"I'm told there was spanking involved too," Carlisle said and I groaned.

"No, no, that was just my wife," Charlie muttered. "According to that Markus guy, Bella refused so Renee did the both of them."

"Jesus Christ, and we're just going fishing?" Emmett protested, "We got the shitty end of this deal, that's for sure."

"I disagree," Carlisle argued. "A full day and night spent relaxing on a boat sounds like the perfect way to spend a weekend. We can eat our own catch and have some beers – we'll have a great time I'm sure."

The boat we were using belonged to Charlie's friend, Harry Clearwater. He and another friend, Colin Lahote were accompanying us on the trip. They were waiting for us at the dock when we arrived.

"Fella's, this is my soon to be son-in-law, Edward, his Uncle Carlisle, and his son, Emmett, and Jasper here, is married to Carlisle's daughter – Alice." Charlie did a quick introduction and I resisted the urge to hiss when I shook Colin's hand.

_Officer Knobjockey's Father._

"Nice to meet you, Edward," Colin offered politely. "Bella's a lovely girl, congratulations."

"Indeed she is, thank you," I replied and followed them down the jetty to a boat moored at the very end.

It was quite big, I guess, but my knowledge on boats was poor to say the least. There were plenty of spots above deck to sit and relax, and I suppose fish from. Then in the living quarters, there was a kitchen with basic cooking facilities and a table surrounded by seats, which looked like they would convert into beds should they need to. The other berths were in two tiny compartments and there was a shower cubicle and toilet at the front of the cabin.

"Shit, do I have to sleep with a guy?" Emmett asked as he looked around.

"It's only for one night, son. Besides, after a few beers you fall asleep anywhere." Carlisle chuckled. "It's who has to share with you that should be worrying."

After we dumped our bags in one of the rooms, we settled up on deck and waited to be on our way. Charlie - the cop - gave us all a brief warning of river safety and made sure we all knew what to do in an emergency. Then Charlie – the regular guy - handed us all a beer and told Harry to get the boat going.

The first hour or so down the river was quite a lot of fun. We ate sandwiches supposed to be for lunch, drank beer meant for the evening, and were treated to some funny stories from past fishing trips. I began to enjoy myself, but then we found a prime spot to start fishing. The engine of the boat was cut, and Colin stressed the importance of silence.

"The fish won't bite if they can hear surface-noise," he informed us and watched the river intently.

"So we can't talk?" Emmett moaned. "We just have to sit here and wait?" Charlie, Carlisle, Harry, and Colin all nodded silently and Emmett huffed in disgust.

Sitting, holding the rod waiting for a bite was without a doubt the most boring experience of my life. I was sitting in-between Jasper and Emmett who looked equally as fed up.

After two hours and not a bite, Jasper, Emmett, and I took a crate of beer and decided to play a game of poker below deck. At first, we kept up the whispering, but as more and more of the beers began to disappear, the louder we got.

"FULL HOUSE!" Jasper yelled and slammed his cards down onto the table. "I'm creaming you guys today."

"Shit, we must be playing really fucking bad, Eddie, if Jazz is whipping our backsides. He always fucking loses." Emmett shook his head and I snickered.

"I think it's the beer, Em. There's only one bottle left."

The floor around us was littered with empty bottles and Emmett grinned. "Whatever it is, I'd still take losing to Jazz at poker any day over sitting up there like a bunch of Granddads. Fuck me, fishing is wank."

I nodded in agreement. "I can't believe I turned down a weekend with Bella, for this. I know it's my party, but seeing her in that outfit again would have been a better way to spend my time."

"Charlie said you guys got pulled by the cops on the way home last night. What for?" Jasper asked.

"Officer _fucking_ Knobjockey decided to be an arsehole. He was so full of shit I swear he had it coming out of his ears. First we had a tail light out, then he suspected the truck was stolen, and then he accused Bella of giving me a blow job while we were driving." I couldn't help but smirk when I added the last part.

"Who's Officer Knobjockey?" Jazz asked.

"Colin's son, Paul Lahote. He's an ex of Bella's and he's a dickhead," I said casually. "He's obviously still got a thing for her."

"But she's marrying you, buddy," Emmett slapped my back. "So how was road head? Don't even try and deny it, I saw you smirk."

"I will kill you and use you as bait if you answer that question, Edward," Charlie's voice sounded from behind us and we turned around nervously. "And I'll do it without hesitation, kapeesh?"

I nodded and kicked Emmett under the table. "Yes, Sir."

"Are we done with fishing now, Chief? No offence, but as far as parties go – this fucking sucks," Emmett said.

"I just came down to ask you guys to quiet down, but if we leave you here with the beer there's going to be nothing left for later." Charlie sighed and rubbed his head. "Edward, what do you want to do? I suppose you should get to choose."

"What would I like to do?" I clarified. That really wasn't a question I could answer honestly. I didn't like the idea of being fish bait. "I don't know. What is there to do on a boat?" I asked and Charlie laughed.

"Come up on deck, and we'll find somewhere to moor. There's a grill we can take ashore and make a start on dinner. We've caught some beauties."

We followed him back up the stairs and saw a cooler filled with ice and fish. Carlisle, Colin and Harry were still perched with their rods in the water.

"The young guys aren't fans of fishing I'm afraid," Charlie called out. "I said we'd cook them up something to eat, that okay with you fellas?"

They all agreed and immediately began packing up their gear. As soon as everything was away, Harry re-started the engine and set off down the river again looking for somewhere to um... park the boat.

A little while later, sitting around in a circle waiting for Harry to serve up dinner, we were laughing and joking and having a much better time.

"So what's the plan for tonight?" Emmett asked excitedly. "You old-timers want us to teach you how to play poker? What the fuck is that?" His face fell as a plate was handed to him.

"It's dinner, son," Harry answered. "Fresh catch, grill-cooked and drizzled in my own special sauce."

"Maybe you could rephrase that? You don't even want to know what I'm thinking man," Emmett said. "Unless of course you really did drizzle it with spunk."

"Emmett, don't be ridiculous," Carlisle hissed. "Just try it."

"But, it's looking at me, Dad." Emmett gagged. "I can't eat it – not with the face still on."

"Emmett, it's the ultimate experience. Eating real food out in the open-air, no frills – just nature," Carlisle persisted.

Jasper and I were equally unimpressed as we were given our plates. The fucking thing was eye-balling me, I could almost hear it taunting – calling me a murderer.

"Look, I love nature, but I can't eat something with eyes and a mouth." Jasper lifted the tail of the fish up and grimaced. "Isn't that the rectum?"

"Really? You had to point that out?" I said and for some weird fucking reason had a look for myself.

"Jesus, now I can't eat it for sure. I'm really sorry, but shit, it's almost enough to turn me into a tree-hugger," Emmett said and put the plate down. "I'm so hungry, but I just can't."

"Edward?" Colin looked at me. "What about you?"

I looked down at my plate and I swear the damn thing spoke to me.

_Motherfucking fish-killer! My poor little fish-babies are never going to know their Father._

"Um, I would rather not, sorry. I'm not a fish person and I guess I assumed it would be served differently."

"What did you expect? It would come served in batter with fries on the side? Jesus, you boys aren't men's men that's for sure." Harry shook his head and took our plates from us. "Now what?"

Charlie sighed and said, "Look, we'll eat these and then how about we head back downstream? These guys have almost cleared us out of beer, and they can eat at the bar just past Fisherman's Hollow."

"A bar? Can we get a steak there or do you want us to slaughter a cow out here in the middle of the jungle?" Emmett quipped sarcastically and I couldn't help but laugh.

The "real" men ate their fish with their fingers – rectum included, and as if to prove his family's masculinity and worthiness, Colin Lahote ate the fucking eyeballs.

We packed up the grill and chairs, before setting off to the bar, which after being presented with the fish, sounded like a gourmet restaurant. My stomach growled at the thought of steaks, fries, and all the trimmings, and Emmett was practically salivating on the spot.

"Hey, do you think they'll have good cell phone reception?" I asked, eager to call Bella. I'd never gone this long without speaking to, or seeing her.

"I hope so, I feel like I've lost an arm without Alice." Jasper smiled wistfully. "It's times like this which make you appreciate what you've got at home." Even Emmett nodded emphatically in agreement, which earned us yet more flack from our elders.

"You three sound like a set of goddamn women!" Charlie cried. "We've been gone for all of ten hours and you're carrying off like you've been on some kind of soul-searching mission for redemption. Jesus, do they inject estrogen into babies these days?"

We ignored his comment and the subsequent taunts, which followed and resumed our fantasies of steaks and beer, and my personal image of Bella in her outfit last night.

We arrived at the dock a little after six, and I saw the bar straight away. It sat on the waterfront and was basically, a large hut with a tired looking sign painted on the side. There were a few cars in the car park outside and I could hear music coming from inside.

"Now the party can really begin." Emmett clapped his hands and strode toward the door.

Picture a movie, and one of those really small bars filled with local people. Now, can you remember how in every single one of those bars, the entire scene falls silent the second anyone unfamiliar walks in? Well, that is precisely what happened as soon as Emmett, Jasper, and I entered the room.

There were only about five or six other people in there already, and each one stopped what they were doing to study the three strange creatures that had entered their bar. No one seemed to find blatantly staring rude, and no one made any attempt to speak. Even the bartender hung back and watched us studiously.

The awkward and freaky silence didn't subside until Charlie, and the other two followed us inside. As soon as it was apparent we were all together, everyone returned to their business and the bartender approached to take our order.

"Hey, Quil. Grab us seven beers and menus for these three if you will." Harry rolled his eyes and cocked his thumb in our direction.

"Sure thing, Harry. Weren't you headed out on the boat?" Quil asked as he set three menus on the bar without a glance in my direction. "Didn't expect to see you back tonight."

"Well, it seems these guys have a lot to learn about life around here," Harry said and pulled out a stool from the bar.

Unfortunately, the mother of all steaks I was hoping for was not on the menu. Instead I had the choice of a burger and fries or Fish Fry. (Harry Clearwater's own special menu). Obviously, we all went for the burger and it tasted pretty damn spectacular after eating nothing since brunch. After Emmett had polished off a second serving, he declared he was too full to move and we decided to stay in the bar for the evening.

The chat centred on Emmett's, Jasper's, and my lack of appreciation for fishing as an exciting sport.

"The thrill of the catch, the anticipation, and then the reward. What more can you ask for?" Harry asked. "And trust me, there is nothing healthier than a freshly caught piece of fish, grilled out in the open-air."

I raised an eyebrow sceptically and took in Harry's form. He was a chain-smoking, beer-drinking, overweight guy, whose idea of exercise was a late-night dash to the off licence for beer. Nice man for sure, but he was in no position to be handing out healthy-living advice. Even Carlisle had to bite back a laugh.

"So, Edward, this time next week you'll be a married man," Colin said. "How are the nerves?"

"There aren't any nerves. I can't wait to marry Bella," I said honestly.

"There should be, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into," Colin added dramatically. "You get less jail time for murder these days."

I was just about to argue when Charlie cleared his throat. "Edward, can I talk to you?"

"Um... sure," I agreed and my palms began to sweat straight away. Even now, this man scared me half to death sometimes. I followed him to the far end of the bar and sat down. "Something wrong, Charlie?"

"Probably not. There's just something on my mind." He took a drink of his beer and looked at me from the corner of his eye. "I know it's a little late to be even bringing this up, but I needed to know where you stood. Before you think I'm judging you here, Edward, I'm not. I have no doubt that you love my daughter and would never do anything to intentionally hurt her."

"I'm not sure what you're getting at here, Charlie."

He smiled wryly and took another drink of his beer. "When I first signed up to the force, I was so happy to be a regular officer, and had no intention of ever trying to climb the ladder. Then, Renee ended up pregnant with Bella. It was a mistake, the best damn mistake of my life, but still I had no idea how much things... no, how much I would change. The second the Doctor handed this tiny person to me, everything became about her. Family and responsibility change the way I looked at everything. I wanted to progress further in my career, I wanted to make sure I was able to provide for my wife and daughter, and I did that, not because I loved the job, but because I knew it was the right thing to do by my family."

His voice was quiet; yet so intense I was confused. "I love Bella more than anything, Charlie. She is the most important thing in my life."

"But, what about the life you left behind? What about your family back home?" Charlie sighed and I waited for him to explain further. "I know right now you aren't part of their future and you've been given this chance to make something else of yourself, but that's what I'm trying to say. Things change, Edward. I cannot blame you for shying away from the life you were born into, but you're a young guy and things will look so much different in twenty-five – thirty years. What if James isn't around to assume the throne and has no children? Would you really be able to watch the end of your family's reign?"

Shit, what a heavy conversation this was. How the hell could I answer that without seeming like an arse? I went for honesty, because that's all I had.

"Yes," I said simply. "It would be difficult to see, but I wouldn't step forward. I doubt it would even be possible if I did want to anyway. I know it seems harsh, and I'm not shirking my responsibilities – they aren't my responsibilities now. I have new ones." I turned to face him, and did my best to look him right in the eye. "Can I tell you something? It's probably not something you'll want to hear at first, but please hear me out?"

He frowned slightly but motioned at me to continue.

"When I first met Bella, I thought without a doubt she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I was absolutely floored. But, there was no way in hell someone like me, could end up with someone like her, right? So, after the first... um... date, we decided we'd keep it casual and she even joked that I couldn't fall in love with her. I was incredibly naive, and assumed it wouldn't be a problem. I mean why would it? Everything about her was the exact opposite of me. She was easygoing, free-spirited, and besides Esme and her family, she was the only person who saw me as Edward. Not the Prince. I relished the opportunity to live a normal life, doing things that a normal twenty-six year old would do. Spending time with a beautiful girl with no strings attached seemed like the perfect anecdote for my life."

Charlie's frown turned into a scary glare and he growled, "You'd better get to the point – and fast."

I chuckled nervously and continued, "The problem was, every minute I spent with Bella, changed me. I found I could stand up for myself without considering the implications or worrying about how I was perceived. I laughed more than I could ever remember, and of course I started using the word 'motherfucker' a hell of a lot more."

"That doesn't surprise me," he muttered.

"After just a few days, I couldn't stand being away from her, because for the first time in my entire life I felt something besides resentment and dread." I ran my finger around the top of the bottle as I spoke. "It's just like you said, Charlie, things can change. Only, this time, it was _me_ who changed. I changed so much, that I couldn't go back now to who I was if I tried, and quite frankly, I don't ever want to. Any sense of duty I had is gone, my family back in London is no longer my responsibility; Bella is. Regardless of anything else, she will _always_ come first."

Charlie said nothing, but the corner of his mouth turned up into a smile. "How long did you last?"

"I'm sorry?" I asked.

"Before you realised you loved her?"

"A matter of days," I admitted and grinned. "I didn't tell her, I thought she'd run for her life. She always acted so casual."

Charlie laughed. "Well you did better than me, son. I proposed to Renee on our first date. She said no that time of course and told me to stop being such a fool. But I knew, even then. It's a shame we lost those few years, but it all worked out in the end."

I finished off the rest of my beer and waited to see if he had anything else to say.

"Right, enough of the emotional bullshit. Let's go and celebrate."

_Heavy conversation with the Father-in-law and not once did he reach for his gun – motherfucking result!_

We spent the next few hours playing poker, and shooting a few racks of pool. It was after midnight when we finally made it back to the boat.

"Any pukers, feel free to heave over the side of the boat. I refuse to clean up anyone's mess in my bathroom – got it?" Harry slurred and then disappeared below deck.

He was quickly followed by Colin, Carlisle, and Charlie.

"They'll take the good beds," Jasper said and shook his head. "You know we'll be left to share now right?"

Sure enough the only available bed was the double in the larger room.

"We have to share that? That's not good at all," I muttered.

"Well, I'm tired so I say suck it up. Just make sure you keep your hands to yourself fellas." Emmett began stripping off and Jasper cried out in horror.

"What the fuck, man? Get your clothes on, Em, for the love of God."

"I feel too restricted when I wear clothes in bed," Emmett protested.

"No way. You want to sleep naked, you take your ass upstairs and spend the night on deck." I reshuffled the pillows. "We keep our clothes _on_, and we can sleep top to toe."

Jasper agreed and Emmett just sulked. He took the middle of the bed, and Jasper and I climbed in on either side of him. Looking to my right, I was faced with Emmett's feet. Compare that to my sleeping partner last night and yeah, I was pretty cheesed off.

I fell asleep quickly, still pissed off, and still missing Bella. I hadn't spoken to her all day and I hated it. I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep. I got out of bed and the sight that presented itself was absolutely priceless. At some point during the night, Emmett had turned around so his head was at the same end as ours. He was turned to face Jasper's back, and had one leg wrapped around the poor guy's waist, and his arm wrapped around his shoulder, with his face nestled into the back of his neck.

This needed to be caught on film, so I snatched up my phone and took a photo before either of them moved. I couldn't not laugh, and didn't even try to be quiet. The sound disturbed Jasper who stirred and tried to move. His head turned slightly and he looked on in confusion at the arm draped around his neck.

"What the...? No fucking way. EMMETT, WAKE THE FUCK UP!" he yelled and started trying to escape Emmett's hold. "Oh Christ, get off me."

Emmett tightened his arm and Jasper couldn't free himself. It was hilarious to watch.

"Edward, quit laughing and get him off me. Please, man I'm begging you." Jasper continued to yell, "EMMETT FOR FUCKS SAKE – MOVE!"

I reached over and shook his shoulder. I couldn't speak, shit I could barely breathe I was laughing so much.

"Five more minutes, baby, please?" Emmett murmured. "I'll give you the good stuff soon, I promise."

"Aw fuck come on, I'm dying here, Edward. I can feel his boner on my back – I'm going to be sick!"

I shook Emmett again and this time he opened his eyes. "What's with all the shaking – wait – Jazz, what are you doing at my end of the bed man?" As soon as he registered exactly what a compromising position he was in, he shoved Jasper away and pushed him right off the bed with a loud bang.

Jasper swore and sat up glaring at Emmett. "Watch what you're doing – that fucking hurt."

"Watch what _I'm_ doing? Says the guy who was shoving his ass into my crotch. You're supposed to be sleeping the other way." Emmett argued. "My God, Jazz, does my sister know you're changing teams?"

"You're at our end of the damn bed, Emmett. You're the one with his hands all over me you motherfucking pervert. I'm mentally scarred here." He stood up and put his face in his hands. "I don't even want to think about it."

"I moved? Huh, that's weird." Emmett thought about it for a minute and then grinned. "It must be your girly fucking hair, Jazz. I bet I thought you were my Rosie, that's how we sleep. Just consider yourself lucky I didn't give you the wakeup call she usually gets."

"Okay, too much information, Em." I waved my hands at him. "Please stop talking."

"Hey, this stays between us right?" Emmett asked and Jasper glared at him again.

"Of course it stays between us, do you think I want anyone else to know that I had my brother-in-laws leg around me and his boner in my back? No fucking way we're telling anyone. Edward?"

"I promise I won't _say_ a word." I winked. "I'm just going to try and ring Bella."

I was going to call her, but first I made sure I sent the offending picture to Bella, Alice, Rose, and James. Keep that to myself? Yeah, right.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thank you all so much for reading. I cannot believe the response and I am seriously overwhelmed! Thanks a million and more to my pre readers Jaime Arkin & prettyflour, and my Beta Twifanmom :)**

**Just one more chapter to go before the wedding! We have a bit of fun next chapter I just couldn't resist! Let me know if you want to have a look at the teaser.**

**Rec's this week**

**The One That Never Was - Mamasutra is about to start the second book to the story and OMG it's such a beautifully written, heartachingly brilliant story! **

**The Rinse Cycle by Shahula Hot & would make real life laundry so much more interesting :)**

**See you all next week,**

**Katy**

**xoxox**


	10. Chapter 9 Tell me more about the whippin

**A/N - Hi again! Thank you so much for all your reviews, alerts, faves etc. Thank you also to Prettyflour, Jaime Arkin & Twifanmom for being just fantastic help with this chapter!**

Chapter 9 - Tell me more about the whipping?

BPOV

I woke up alone and instantly missed Edward. I sat up and pouted, I hadn't even left the bedroom and already the house felt eerily quiet and empty.

I took a quick shower, dressed in one of Edward's sweaters, and then headed downstairs for a much-needed drink of coffee. I had no intention of doing anything remotely energetic, so I curled up on the couch and wrapped myself in a snug blanket. I was in the middle of an unbelievably cheesy lifetime movie when my Mother burst into the house.

_Change the fucking code to the gates, and change the damn locks._

"Good morning, sweetie. How are you feeling?" she asked cheerily, and I groaned. "I felt dog rough this morning, but Markus made me this fabulous drink, and I'm as right as rain now."

"Buongiorno, principessa," Markus called out, and he too, was far too fucking cheerful. Couldn't these people let me suffer alone?

I could hear even more voices coming from the kitchen and I scowled at my Mother. "Who else is here? I was looking forward to vegging out all day."

"Absolutely not! We're going to enjoy your last weekend as a single woman, and embrace nature." My Mom clapped her hands. "Come on, go and get dressed, and make sure it's something comfortable."

"I don't want to," I grumbled.

"I'm with you, Swan. I'm hungover, tired, and suffering serious peen withdrawals," Rose said bluntly and sank down beside me on the couch.

"Rosalie Hale. Emmett, only left a few hours ago," Markus said dramatically.

"Well, he left this morning without waking me up. I get the same wake-up call each morning with his tongue-"

"Ew, Rose, no more please. That's my brother you're talking about," Alice squeaked.

"Fine, but I was just trying to warn you I may not be at my most pleasant. I'm feeling very frustrated."

"Up, up, up, Bella. I want you dressed and good to go in ten minutes." Mom proceeded to drag me off the couch and pushed me toward the stairs. "Go, now."

I cursed and flipped her the finger as I stomped upstairs. Settling on a pair of jeans and an old turtle-neck sweater, I dressed quickly and then tied my hair back. I was just about to head downstairs when my name echoed downstairs.

"BELLA! It's time to go."

"Jeez, I'm done. Where are we going to 'embrace nature' anyway?" My jacket was thrust at me, and I saw a picnic basket and cooler on the floor by the back door.

"We're going for a hike in the forest at the back of your house, Bella. You and Edward have this wonderful thing at your disposal. There's supposed to be a beautiful clearing that's perfect for a picnic, so we're going to try and find it."

"So we're spending Bella's last weekend as a single woman hiking?" Angela scoffed.

"Ooh, it sounds like fun," Tanya said excitedly.

_Stupid wench._

"It really isn't, Tanya," Angela told her, "It's a fucking forest. There'll be trees and bushes, and the occasional pile of shit that some people get really excited about because they think it belongs to a fucking bear."

"Don't be so miserable, we should consider ourselves lucky to live somewhere so beautiful," my Mom scolded. "Oh, and we're only taking one cell phone for emergencies. We are escaping reality for a few hours."

This earned her a few choice words, but she waited for everyone to hand over their phones and put them all into a bag which she hid in one of the kitchen cupboards.

"I have wine," Esme offered hopefully and with that revelation, hiking seemed like much more an attractive prospect.

"Aro, isn't this delightful? We can experience nature up close and personal," Markus trilled.

Aro didn't share his enthusiasm and merely grimaced. "My idea of up close and personal with nature is a face mask with organic products, and a massage from a bronzed Adonis in nothing but a loin cloth."

To give her some credit, Mom had done some serious research into this. She had a map, a compass, and had even pencilled the route out to make sure we didn't get lost. A little before eleven we locked up the house and started off toward the trail.

Renee and Esme took the lead, and the rest of us followed in smaller groups. Tanya, Rose, Markus, and I were bringing up the rear.

"I was telling Tanya that you and Edward were almost arrested last night," Markus said seriously and I shook my head.

"No we weren't. It was just my stupid-ass ex trying to prove a point." I shrugged casually. "There was no reason for him to stop us in the first place. None that he could prove anyway."

Markus cackled and said, "I knew it! You bad girl."

"Paul pulled you over while you were sucking Edward off?" Rose asked and smirked. "Nice."

"No, it was after I'd finished. I think he knew what was going on, but who was my Dad gonna believe?" I giggled.

"If only his Grandmother knew what he was getting up to," Tanya said with a grin on her face. "I'd love to let that slip."

"She probably won't even know what a blow job is," Rose snickered.

"Do you think they still... you know... do it?" I asked quietly. "Does anyone at that age?"

"I fucking hope so, I intend to keep going until I drop dead," Rose said.

The conversation took a rather disturbing turn for the worse, and Markus began telling us what household items were good substitutes, should a man ever experience cock failure.

After hours of battling through the wilderness and dodging poison ivy, we noticed a break in the trees ahead. Amazingly, my Mother had successfully mastered the map, and sure enough, we had found the clearing.

It was undeniably pretty, although a little smaller than I had pictured. There were a few rocks scattered around, and a spot of scorched grass which was encircled by deliberately placed small stones. Mom announced we would have to light a fire to enjoy the experience fully. Although, she had brought along a lighter, so there was no need for stick rubbing, thank god.

_No, now the Staff is gone, there'll be no stick-rubbing of any kind tonight._

Esme broke out the wine, and handed around sandwiches and potato chips. We ate and drank, and I was quite enjoying myself. Then, my Mother pulled out a plastic bag full of pre-rolled joints.

"What the fuck?" I choked and she just grinned.

"We're at one with nature, remember?" she said innocently. "It's supposed to be really good shit."

"Mom! You can't have that, Dad will freak out," I said in astonishment and she just laughed.

"Who do you think taught me how to roll all those years ago?" She winked and handed them around. "Your Father was quite the rebel, Bella. Why do you think I found him so attractive?"

"B... but he's Chief?" I gasped.

"Well, I'm not telling anyone? I'm sure no one else will right, girls?"

Oh, Jesus. Didn't you just know how today was going to turn out?

~x~

When my Mom said "really good shit," what she meant was "really strong shit." I took one whiff when the first joint was lit, and it was fucking potent.

"Shit, Renee, you rolled these?" Rose spluttered as she took a drag.

I had never been a big lover of all things green. Yeah, I'd smoked it on occasion, but I could take it or leave it. Today, I thought what the hell? I was getting married in a week; I could do with the distraction.

Most of us happily shared a few between ourselves, fully expecting there to be some left over for us to enjoy later. Unfortunately, Esme and Tanya developed quite a liking for the stuff, and they, along with my Mother, sat huddled together smoking their fucking heads off.

"It's so green... isn't it, Renee? The trees, and the grass, it's just so pretty and so green," Esme sang dreamily. "I'm so pleased Ibasella and Edward met, I would never have got to come here if they hadn't." She turned to me and with drooping, bloodshot eyes, she said, "I love you, Ibasella, you make him so happy."

"I do hope someone is filming this," Rose whispered. "Esme Cullen, sister-in-law to the royals, stoned as fuck."

As the minutes passed by, our entertainment was provided solely by the three stoners. We sat and listened to their conversations.

"You know, I do wish you and Japser would come over here permanently," Esme said sadly to her daughter. "I do miss having you here, Darling."

"Well, you never know, Mum, maybe one day, _Japser_ and I will. I have missed you all this past year, and we've talked about having a family. It certainly would be a nicer place to bring up a child." Alice grinned and Esme promptly burst into tears. "Are you okay, Mom?"

"Happy tears, happy tears." Esme sniffed. "I can't wait to ha- Ooh is that a butterfly?"

"Butterflies are so pretty," Tanya said absently. "I love butterflies."

"Flutter by, pretty butterfly," Esme whispered and dabbed at her eyes. "So tragic, they only get to enjoy this beautiful world for a matter of days. Life is cruel sometimes."

I couldn't help but laugh as Tanya gave Esme a hug and told her to, "be strong."

"Tanya, are you a lesbian?" Mom asked bluntly and a stunned silence followed. "You've just never mentioned any men in your life. It's nothing to be ashamed of you know. Be proud of who you are."

Markus and Aro exchanged a look and then their cackles echoed loudly around the clearing.

"Tanya? A lesbian? Oh, you can't keep this a secret now; you have to tell them, this will be priceless." Aro held his stomach and tried to keep his laughter under control. "You are so far off the mark, Renee, darling."

Everyone looked to Tanya who was flushing furiously. "I'm not a lesbian, Renee. That's not to say, I oppose it of course, but I enjoy a somewhat different private life."

"Different? In what way" I asked.

"Can I trust that this won't... get out? I would never be allowed to remain on the board at the foundation should it ever come to light." Tanya waited for us to agree and then grinned cheekily. "I don't have a boyfriend exactly. He prefers to be known as my... um... pet. You see he's a submissive and I'm... well, I'm sure you know where I'm going with this?"

"Holy, fucking, shit!" Rose yelled. "That's fucking awesome. Tell me more; I'm so interested in that."

"Rosalie, you'd die if you saw her basement. Goodness gracious me, I could spend years in that room playing," Markus said and began fanning himself down. "Whips, chains, cameras... the list is endless."

"Whips? You whip someone... for pleasure? Tanya, I always thought you were so wholesome." Esme's eyes were wide with shock. "What is your _pet's_ name?"

"I know him as, Felix." Tanya smiled. "To look at him you'd never guess. I mean he's really tall, and very well built. But, it works for us, and we really enjoy each other's company."

"Tell me more about the whipping? That sounds very intriguing." Esme sat forward and her eyes were bright with interest. "I think Carlisle might be quite partial to that. He's always liked it when I spank him."

Now this I found fucktastically amusing. I was more than happy to laugh at some other poor sucker's parents discussing sex. Alice shook her head and whimpered.

_Ha, ha, Alice, rather you than me this time!_

"I think that is probably the most disgusting thing I've ever heard," she cried. "Do you mind keeping things like that to yourself, Mum?"

"Tell us more," Rose pressed. "Do you dress up and shit? Does he have to call you Master?"

Tanya nodded and then told us about all of her toys, tools, and outfits. Fuck me; this girl was seriously a bad-ass. She regularly left the poor guy chained up in her basement while she worked. He had even been there when she was at the party the night Edward and I met.

"He can get free, if he _really_ wants to. But, I guess we both like the difference to how we normally spend our days. I mean, I spent years following Edward's schedule and being told what and where to be by his family, and Felix, well, he's got a very demanding job himself. Call it role reversal if you like."

"Jesus, does Edward know?" Alice asked and I frowned.

_He'd better not fucking know._

"No, he most certainly does not!" Tanya burst out laughing. "It's not usually something men take very well. It takes a strong man to admit he likes to be domineered in such a drastic way. Besides my very close friends, I've told no one."

Renee, Rose, and Esme fired the poor woman with question after question, all of which she answered happily.

It was a little too 'out there' for me to try personally, but it was fucking enthralling to listen to.

"I hate to be a party pooper," Aro interrupted, and indicated to the sky. "But, it's getting rather late. We should make a start for home, before it gets dark."

So we packed up, made sure the fire was out, and set off. We followed Renee's lead again, and chatted as we fought our way through the trees. After about twenty minutes, I banged into the back of my Mother who had stopped abruptly.

"Why did you stop?" I asked and peered over her shoulder. "Isn't that the clearing? Are we going in fucking circles?"

She nodded sheepishly. "Let's go again. I must have taken a wrong path."

"Why don't you just check the map?" Jessica asked from behind me.

"Well, I didn't want to carry all our rubbish back with us. So I threw a handful of napkins on the fire earlier... I didn't realise at the time, but the map must have been among them, because I can't find it anywhere," Renee said quietly, and I groaned.

"So, you don't know the way back?" I asked and she shrugged.

"I thought I'd remember. I'm sorry, let's try again. I'm sure we'll find the right path." She encouraged us all to turn around and then we tried to find the right trail.

But we didn't, and once again we found ourselves back in the clearing.

"We're going to die out here," Markus began to cry. "We'll either end up like Tom Hanks in Castaway with long hideous beards, talking to inanimate objects, or we'll end up being on the menu for the wild animals. I don't want a hideous beard, I choose death by bear."

"Markus, quit being so dramatic," I growled.

"We still have the compass!" Renee shrieked and then frowned. "But, I don't remember if we headed north when we first left your house, Bella. Do you?"

I shook my head but took the compass anyway. "Can anyone remember anything?"

"I think it was more uphill when we walked this morning, just slightly," Alice offered, and a few others murmured in agreement.

"Okay, so we try and head a way which is slightly downhill... yeah?" I was met with a few uncertain nods and sighed. "Right, well let's give it a try."

We walked, and walked, and walked. We didn't make it back to the clearing, but neither did we make it back to the house. It was now almost pitch black and we had resorted to using the one cell phone, as a light. We kept walking in the hope either the house would magically appear, or we'd get a signal on the phone to call for fucking help.

"Maybe we should pray?" Markus said. "Ask the almighty to show us the way."

"If it makes you feel better, then do what you want, my love." Aro wrapped his arm around Markus and kissed his hair.

"After what we've been doing today, I doubt he'll be helping us any time soon. Potheads and sexual deviants aren't top of his list of people to shine the light on, I'm sure," Jessica said glumly. "Maybe if we asked him _and_ his rival for help... you know just in case."

"Why? Because sexual deviancy and pot addiction are requirements for spending an eternity with Beelzebub?" Rose scoffed. "Who's next? Thor?"

I was just about to burst into tears and bid farewell to my Edward and his Staff, when I heard a faint purr of an engine. "Did you guys here that?" I set off running toward the noise and then I saw headlights sweep past some trees up ahead. "There's a fucking road, we've found our way somewhere."

I was so giddy and eager to reach the goddamn road that I paid absolutely no attention to where I was placing my feet. One minute I was running, and the next I was falling. My foot caught on a tree root and sent me tumbling forward. I grazed my head on the side of the tree and my hands scraped along the ground as I tried to stop myself.

"Ow, shit. Ow, ow, ow." I felt really fucking stupid.

"Damn, Bella, are you alright?" Rose was first to my side and she helped me to my feet.

"My hands are stinging, and my head too. But, I'm okay." I bit my lip, fighting the urge to cry.

"Do we have a first aid kit? So we can clean you up." Angela asked and I shook my head.

"Let's just get home. I'm tired, muddy, and I can clean up as soon as I get in the house."

We made it to the road, and recognised it as the main road to Port Angeles. We were off course by a few miles, but at least in the right vicinity. All ten of us trudged along the quiet road hoping for a passing car to take pity on us, but not a single one passed us.

We contemplated calling for help, but we didn't want to worry the guys. They were out on the boat, and by the time they got here, we could have been home anyway. It was a little after three in the morning when my house finally came into view.

I rejected numerous offers from people saying they would spend the night so I wasn't alone, and shooed them all away. I wanted and needed my bed so badly. I handed everyone their phones back, and then as the last person left, I locked up the house.

I took a quick shower to clean up, and then pulled on another of Edward's shirts, before I leapt into bed and snuggled under the covers on his side. This time tomorrow, I'd have my sleeping partner back and with that thought I drifted off to sleep.

I was having a lovely dream. One of those which you never want to end. I could feel Edward, stroking my hair and kissing the back of my neck softly. Faint whispers of, "I missed you," and "I love you," made me smile and my skin tingle.

But it felt too nice to be a dream. I could feel each kiss and the breath from his whispers as if it were real. I woke up at some point, and still I could hear and feel the same things.

"I'm so fucking glad to be back," Edward's voice in my ear wasn't a fucking dream.

I rolled over and there he was, lying beside me with a really happy smile on his face.

"Either you're home early, or I slept really late?" I rubbed my eyes.

"Bit of both. It's almost noon." He scowled, and asked, "What did you do, Bella? Your face is grazed."

I touched the side of my face and grimaced. "I fell down of course. It's nothing serious and it's a long story, before you ask me."

He chuckled and kissed the scrape tenderly, before moving his lips to my nose, and then my mouth.

"How was the trip?" I murmured against his lips.

"I hated fishing, I hated sharing a bed with Emmett and Jasper, and I hated being away from you." He rolled over me and kissed me fiercely, before pulling away to ask, "How was your weekend? Besides the fall, of course."

"Fucking shit. But, I can tell you all about it later, Edward," I said quickly and pulled his face back to mine.

I'd missed that sweet taste on his lips, a mixture of minty-fresh, coffee, and a little essence-a-la-Edward. He moaned and rubbed up against me, and I could feel how hard he was already.

_Ah, my old friend. How you've been missed._

I moved with him, and he moaned again, louder this time. I was only wearing a pair of panties on my bottom-half, and the barely-there fabric allowed for Edward's dick to create wonderful friction. We made-out and dry-humped for a few minutes, and then I heard Edward's breathing become a little ragged. The more effort he put into his thrusts, the more intense his moans became, and I felt the burning sensation build in the pit of my stomach.

"Don't stop, Edward. It feels so fucking good," I breathed against his lips.

He gripped my shoulder tightly with one hand, and slipped the other underneath my ass. "If I don't stop now, this is going to be over before we have time to take our fucking clothes off."

"So? Please, Edward, don't stop," I told him, and with a growl which made my fucking toes curl, he lifted my ass off the bed, holding me tightly against him, and rocked against me _hard_. I felt every inch of him as he moved, and shit, he was almost bursting out of his jeans. "Oh my God."

My underwear was soaked through, and I swear my lady-garden was screaming hysterically for the_ Staff_ to come and say, "Hello" face to face. But there was no way in hell we were moving. Well apart from the thrusting, the rubbing... oh the rubbing.

The rush of heat flamed across my skin, and I clamped my legs tightly around Edward's back as I came. He continued for just a minute or so longer, before he swore gruffly and then sank down on top of me.

"Mm, interesting," he murmured. "As lovely as that was, I feel like I'm a thirteen year old boy again."

"You did _that_ when you were thirteen?" I gasped.

_Fuck he started young. I wonder who the dirty little slut was?_

Edward laughed and propped himself up on his arms. "The dirty little slut was... well sluts actually. Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra."

"What? You had a fucking threesome, when you were thirteen?" I asked in horror. "With those two sluts from Baywatch?"

_Wow, how the fuck did I not know this?_

Edward rolled onto his back, laughing even harder. "Well, they were both in the same issue of FHM, which was the inspiration for my first wet-dream, so I suppose it was."

_Ohhhh!_

"So you jizzed your pants in your sleep?" I sighed in relief. "Thank fuck for that. But really, Edward, Pamela Anderson? That's just... ew."

"She's not you, that's for sure. But I was thirteen; I just saw big tits and a skimpy costume." He shrugged. "I'm sure you had a very questionable celebrity crush when you were a teenager."

"Edward, don't even go there," I said and blushed furiously. "A teenage girl's mind is a very sorry state of affairs when it comes to childhood crushes."

"Aren't you going to share? We're getting married, and not supposed to have secrets." He pouted and I shook my head, far too embarrassed to tell him the truth.

"I'll make sure I have that ring on your finger and are eternally bound to me, before I reveal anything else." I laughed and grabbed his hand. "Take a shower with me?"

Edward as a nineteen year old was every teenage girls dream guy. I counted myself unequivocally in that category of admirers. He had the same wild hair, cheeky but fuck hot face, and a really cute ass too. But, I didn't want him to think I'd been lusting after him that first night, because of a childhood crush.

"You're just trying to change the subject," he said with a grin on his face, but let me tug him to his feet. "I'd beg you to tell me, but I'm not sure I like the idea of you crushing on anyone else besides me. That would be really fucking cool, by the way."

My blush must have intensified, because Edward cocked his head and surprise flitted across his face, before he grinned widely. "Isabella Swan, did you have a childhood crush on _me_?"

I turned on my heels and walked towards the bathroom. "Stop acting so smug," I muttered.

"You did, didn't you?" He spun me around and trapped me against the door. "Bella, I never once enjoyed the attention. I was so embarrassed when people screamed at me like only teenage girls know how to. If I'd known that you were out there screaming, however, then I'd have been the smuggest bastard on the face of the planet."

"I never once screamed, Edward. I am most definitely not a screamer," I said haughtily and tried to move.

Edward kept me firmly in place, and whispered roughly in my ear, "I beg to differ."

_Touché, Edward, motherfucking touché._

* * *

><p><em><strong><strong>_**Next up it's the big day! If you want a little teaser I'll happily send you one over. **

**Thanks for reading. I'll see you next Sunday!**

**Hugs to everyone.**

**Katy**

**xoxo**


	11. Chapter 10  Cinderbella gets her Prince

**A/N It's the wedding! I really hope you like it :)**

Chapter 10 – Cinderbella gets her Prince 

BPOV

"Do we tell her?" I heard Rosalie whisper.

"And give her one more thing to worry about, absolutely not," Alice said in horror.

"Look, I may not be the sharpest knife in the block, but Bella has eyes, I think she's going to notice the second she looks outside." Jessica sighed. "It had to happen."

"We'll keep the blinds closed and distract her with pictures of Edward, shirtless. She drifts off into her own little world whenever he's mentioned. If it doesn't improve, then we'll break the news to her later."

Today, even pictures of Edward in all his naked glory weren't distracting me. Today, I was getting married. Last night, I had spent in our room, with Jessica, Angela, Alice, and Rose, camped out on airbeds on the floor. Edward was supposed to be over at Esme and Carlisle's but what no one knew was he had been a late night visitor in my room last night.

I was still awake; long after everyone else had fallen asleep. Thinking, worrying, stressing, the regular things a bride-to-be would do before her wedding. I was frustrated with everyone's insistence that Edward and I spend the evening apart. We were nothing like a traditional couple, and I fucking hated sleeping alone.

I was still grumbling to myself when I heard a scrape against the wall next to the window.

_Oh fuck, his Grandbitch has sent someone to assassinate me before the Swans become the "in-laws."_

I was just about to scream when I heard a soft curse, "Ow, shit."

I opened the window, and giggled as quietly as I could at the sight in front of me. Edward was trying to manoeuvre his way up the tree. He had one hand on the ledge of the window, and one foot bracing himself on the wall.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I hissed and he looked up, grinning.

"Fuck tradition, I want to spend the night asleep with my fiancée." He scrambled up the last few feet, and I helped him through the window. He glanced around the room and frowned. "Oh, I didn't think you'd all be in the same room. Fuck it. I still want to sleep in the same bed as you, Bella. I hate it when you're not there."

"Just be quiet, and there's nothing to stop us having a little fun, as long as you're here." I tugged him down onto the bed but he shook his head.

"As much fun as that sounds, a _little_ fun, is never enough. I didn't come here for sex, baby, I just wanted to go to sleep with you next to me." He pulled me against his chest and kissed my forehead. "This is better."

The worries evaporated and I fell asleep quicker than I expected and slept soundly for most of the night, happily curled up in Edward's arms. He snuck out of the window again, a little after six in the morning, and I had nearly woken the others laughing, when he slipped out of the tree, and landed on his ass with a thud.

It had been raining then, so I presumed, that was the focus of the current debate between the girls.

"I know it's raining." I sat up and smirked at their sheepish expressions. "We live in Forks, so we kind of get used to the rain. We have a huge marquee and plenty of heaters if it's cold. I'm not worried, so you shouldn't be either."

When you have part of the motherfucking British monarchy attending your back-garden wedding ceremony, why the fuck would you worry about the weather?

EPOV

I had a good night's sleep, and even the fact it was raining did nothing to ruin my good mood. I was getting married today. In a few hours, Bella would be my wife. Life was too fucking good.

I spent most of the morning faffing with my hair. I tried flattening it down, spiking it up, but nothing looked right. In frustration, I ruffled my hands through it and sighed. "It will have to do."

"It doesn't matter what you do, you'll never be as good-looking as me, bro."

I turned around and saw James hovering in the doorway. He was grinning, and I walked over to shake his hand, and ended up pulling him into a hug.

"Wow, you've forgotten personal boundaries, I see." He slapped my back and stepped away. "Bella's made you soft."

"It's just really good to see you, really fucking good. Is everyone else here?"

"No, our car was the first to arrive. Our parents are following; they should be here in a few minutes." He looked at my simple white shirt, skinny black tie and frowned. "You're wearing that?"

"It's not a regal event you know?" I said. "I hardly think top hat and tails would work for a ceremony in our back garden. Where's my future sister-in-law anyway?"

"Victoria? She's downstairs with Esme and Carlisle. Want to come and meet her?" he was smiling from ear to ear.

"Wow, look at that smile, you've got it bad." I laughed and he nodded.

"She's really something... I just... well now I get it. The whole thing with you and Bella, it makes sense to me."

"And the family? Do they all share your sentiment?" I asked and James shrugged.

"As a matter of fact they do. Even Gran cracked a smile when she came with me for Christmas. But, I don't think they'd say anything if they hated her. They wouldn't want another son running off to the States would they?"

Of course, Victoria would be someone the family approved of anyway. She was well brought up, her family were thought highly of in all circles and at just twenty-six she was managing her own publicity company. I had seen a few photographs that James had emailed me, and the press had published some shots of their own, and I had to admit she had been nothing like I expected.

She was tall, really tall – probably taller than James if she wore heels, and she had the wildest mass of curly, most fiery-red hair I had ever seen. She was deathly pale and her features were severe, harsh even. Nothing at all like anyone else James had ever been involved with, and not my cup of tea to say the least. But, he was smitten, and I mean really fucking smitten.

"And she's okay with you and what you've taken on... for me?" I asked quietly. "It doesn't bother her?"

"That's the way things were when we met, so I suppose it's not an issue for us. Besides, it's not even something we have to worry about for at least thirty years..."

"I still can't thank you enough, James. Seriously, there aren't words-"

"Look, as much fun as it would have been to see Bella living it up with us at Balmoral, and firing out more motherfuckers than a damned sailor, it was never her that I did it for. You hated it, you were miserable, and it's something I was happy to take on knowing you'd be neither of those things. I can see the difference in you, and that's all that matters." He paused and then added, "Okay, enough with this girly shit. You're getting married in a few hours; let's have a drink. I'm still not happy I missed the Bachelor party."

"Trust me, you missed nothing." I grimaced and he snickered.

"Apart from Jazz and Emmett enjoying a bit of man-love? That photo was priceless."

"Apart from that," I agreed. "That was the best part of the weekend."

We made our way downstairs with me repeating the entire story behind the photo. When we entered the lounge, Victoria was sitting on one of the couches talking to Esme. She looked uncomfortable, perched on the edge of the cushion, and glanced around the room nervously.

"Oh my goodness, Edward, look how handsome you are," Esme cried and hurried over to give me a hug. She kissed my cheek twice and then laughed. "Oops, I've got lipstick on your cheek. That will never do, sweetheart. Here, let me wipe it off."

"Esme, you look lovely," I said with a smile.

"Just you wait until you see, Bella. She'll take your breath away." She removed the mark with a tissue, and then used it to dab her eyes once. "Oh dear, here I go again."

I wrapped my arm around her and kissed her cheek. "She always does, Esme." I turned to face my brother and waited for him to introduce me to his girlfriend who was wearing a very tight, almost sheer, black lace, one shouldered dress.

"Edward, this is Victoria." James held out his hand to help Victoria to her feet. "Victoria, this is my brother, Edward."

"It's nice to meet you at last," I said, and extended my arm to shake her hand. "It's really good of you to come."

"Thank you," she replied and held the tips of my fingers for the briefest of seconds, before snatching her hand away. "Are we being driven to the ceremony?"

"Yes, but it's only a mile or so down the road, I just need to stay away until the house is ready." I smiled and she frowned.

"So it is really in your garden?" Victoria looked to James and laughed once. "I thought you were joking. This is certainly going to be a different experience."

Esme raised her eyebrows behind Victoria's back and shook her head. "It's going to be beautiful. There's been so much thought put into the entire day."

"And the rain?" she persisted. "What if the rain keeps up?"

"Don't worry, we have that covered," I told her curtly. "Besides, a few drops of rain never hurt anyone."

"Except the wicked witch in Wizard of Oz. She fucking melted, remember?" Emmett quipped with a wink in Victoria's direction. "But, unless you're hiding some magical blood, Vicky, you've got nothing to worry about."

A fake laugh escaped her lips, and she pretended to check her phone. I caught Esme glaring at her again and tried not to smirk.

"The second car just arrived," Carlisle called out. "Your Father's here, Edward."

My stomach flipped with nerves, I hadn't seen him since I left England. Would he still be trying to build bridges? I followed Carlisle to the front door and watched as my parents were ushered from the car and towards the house.

"Edward, I've missed you, darling," my Mother said softly, and gave me a tentative hug. "How have you been?"

"Really good, thank you. And yourself?" I asked. She looked every inch the perfect trophy wife, as she always had. Not a single hair out of place, expensive salmon-pink dress with matching tailored jacket. But even now, after over a year without seeing me, she lacked the affection that Esme had always shown in abundance.

"Fine, absolutely fine," she replied and stepped aside for my Father.

"Edward," he said and reached to shake my hand. "Thank you for inviting us, we're really looking forward to meeting Bella, officially."

"You'll adore her, both of you will," Esme chirped up. "She's such a lovely girl, and to see them together, it's obvious how happy they make each other."

"Good." My Father smiled and it was warm, and genuine. "You look happy."

"I really am," I replied. "Thank you for coming, it means so much to me."

"Our pleasure." He stepped closer and put his arm around my shoulder.

"We can have a few minutes to catch up, and I'd like to take some photographs for their wedding album, but then we need to go to Edward's house." Esme ushered us all inside and spent at least twenty minutes positioning us for photo after photo.

"I thought it was the bride who was supposed to be late," I complained. "I'd like to get there before Bella's ready."

"Relax, Edward, we're leaving now," Esme said.

"Nervous, Edward?" Emmett asked as we pulled up to the house, and I nodded.

"A little, I just hope Bella's okay," I said and looked up to the bedroom window. "I wish I could see her now."

BPOV

"Bella, look, the rain's stopping," my mother said excitedly. "I bet the sun will be shining in an hour or so."

I nodded and tried to swallow, but my mouth was bone dry. Funny really considering my palms were sweating like a bitch. It was almost two, one hour and eight minutes before I had to stand at the altar with Edward.

"I feel sick," I mumbled. "Can I have something to calm my nerves?"

"No!" Rose barked. "You'll end up drinking too much and wobbling down the aisle."

"If I don't have something, I'll end up passing the fuck out before we even leave the house." I felt my hands shaking as I spoke.

"Give the poor girl a bit of this," my Dad bellowed. "Come on, Bells. Come and sit with your old man."

I stuck my tongue out at Rose petulantly, and joined my Dad out on the porch. "Thanks, Dad," I said appreciatively as he held out a small serving of what looked, and smelled like Bourbon.

"Have this, calm down, and enjoy it kiddo. It's gonna be over before you even know it, and you don't want your memories of your wedding day to be a blur, because you were a messed up ball of nerves. I don't approve but here, have one of these too." He gave me a cigarette and put one in his own mouth. "I think I need one."

We sat there silently, smoking, drinking, and thinking about the next few hours. After a few minutes, my Mom came outside in her outfit and I choked up, she looked so beautiful. Her shoulder-length hair had been curled, and she wore a white lace top with a black sash around her waist. It was paired with a black, chiffon skirt, which fell just below her knee, and silver sandals. She sat beside me, putting her arm around my shoulders and a rogue tear ran down my face.

"Bella, honey, what's wrong?" she asked.

"I just love you guys so much. You've been so wonderful about Edward and me; I just realised I never really thanked you. And you look so beautiful, Mom," I sniffed and Renee shrieked.

"No tears, Alice will kill me if you ruin your make-up." She wiped my eyes carefully and said, "You're happy, Bella, that's thanks enough for both of us, right Charlie?"

"Um... yeah... of course," Charlie said gruffly.

"We're so happy for you both, and it's going to be the proudest moment of my life seeing you up there." Renee sniffed this time but kept the tears at bay. "It's almost time to get dressed."

"I know." I sighed and stood up. "Right, let's do it."

Angela, Jessica, Rose, Alice, and my Mom were all fighting over who got to help me into the dress. In the end I decided it was a nice thing for mother and daughter to share, that was until my Mom told me she had no idea how to fasten the back, and Alice was called in to save the day.

Rose applied a few finishing touches to my hair. She had curled it and let it hang down my back, with just one small pin on the left hand side. I stared at my reflection and almost didn't recognise myself. I could have passed for graceful and elegant.

I thought about Edward, only Edward. Everything else brought back the nerves with an almighty bang. I could do this, I would do this, and I wanted to do this.

"Ooh, they're here," Alice said excitedly, and everyone swarmed to the bedroom window to take a look.

"Aw, Bella, he looks so handsome," my Mom choked. "You're going to look so beautiful together and oh, Mother may I, is that his Father?"

"Yes, and Elizabeth's here too. That must be James' girlfriend... she's got very... um... red hair," Alice mumbled. "Goodness me."

"Holy fucking shit! That cannot be her natural colour?" Angela butted in. "And look at her dress, is it see-through?"

I was still standing at the other side of the room. "Hey, I wanna see. That's my man out there."

"If that's her natural colour then Jesus Christ, imagine what her pubes are like. Fuck, I bet she could use them to guide aircraft into land," Rose said and everyone burst out laughing.

"Hello?" I shouted, "I wanna see Edward."

"No, Bella. Absolutely not!" Mom shook her head. "It's bad luck, honey."

I started to protest, but Alice stuck her head through the window and shouted out to Edward, "Hi, Edward. Would you mind moving out of sight of the window? You're proving to be a bit of a distraction to your fiancée. You look great, by the way."

I heard his distinct chuckle and I scowled. "Motherfuckers."

"He's gone, so focus, Bella." Alice walked back over to me. "Do you need anything before the rest of us go downstairs to take our places?"

_Oh shit, this is really going to happen now._

I took a deep, calming breath and shook my head. "No, I'm okay. Really fucking scared, like going out of my mind scared... but I'm good."

"Charlie's here with you, Bella, and we're just outside. Shout if you need anything." My Mom hugged me, and then stepped back to hold my face between her hands. "The next time I talk to you, you'll be Mrs. Cullen."

"Really not fucking helping," I muttered.

"Sorry, I'm just so excited," she squealed and then gave me a quick kiss. "Good luck, sweetheart."

Rose, Jess, Angela, and Alice all did the same and then I was escorted downstairs to stand with Dad. I watched as each of them disappeared and begged my Dad for another cigarette and drink of bourbon. I think he was as relieved as me and readily agreed, and we sat in total silence for ten minutes.

I could hear a murmur of voices outside, some familiar and friendly, others less familiar, and those were the ones that were scaring me.

Alice had asked Markus to take charge of organising the actual ceremony so she could sit back and enjoy it as a guest. Just a few minutes before two, I heard him shout up and instruct everyone to take their seats.

"Fuck, fuck, motherfucking, shit, crap, bastard... Did I forget any?" I asked Dad and he laughed.

"Cocksucker, and if I were you I'd throw in a few more motherfuckers, Bella." He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my head. "You'll be fine. No, not fine – you'll be perfect; I have complete faith in you. And if one or two fucks happen to slip out, it's no big deal. Edward loves you, we love you, and everyone else out there loves you just as you are. Motherfuckers included."

"Thanks, Dad." I sniffed again, more tears welling up in my eyes.

Markus stepped tentatively into the kitchen and smiled. "It's time, Cinderbella, your Prince is up there waiting for you."

I nodded and took another breath. "I'm ready."

Markus slipped out ahead of us, and when I followed him outside I wasn't prepared for just how much our backyard had been transformed. I had seen various bits and pieces as it was set up in the garden, but now that it was complete I was amazed at just how pretty it was. Underneath the huge white marquee, were strategically placed, chairs swathed in white fabric, and the floor was covered in a cream carpet-like material. There were one or two potted trees behind the chairs, and those, along with the windows in the marquee brought the outside in. I was blown away with the effort Alice must have put into all of this; it almost seemed dream-like.

I heard Reverend Weber ask everyone to stand. I could see the backs of the few guests, and watched as they turned to look at me coming towards them.

One thing I had decided pretty early in the planning of this wedding had been the choice of music to walk down the aisle to. Under no circumstances did I want the traditional Wagner's March, because that shit scared the hell out of me. Edward, had asked if he could choose, and I agreed, albeit blindly I might add. So when I heard the music begin to play, the tears built up even more and I could barely see.

"He... he... wrote it... that's his song," I whispered, and immediately remembered the night I came home to find him playing those very notes.

"For you," Dad said simply and then took my arm and placed it in his. "Come on, Bells, let's get you to him."

The soft, soothing tones of the music fit perfectly with the scene before me. It was tranquil, yet full of energy, and as the tune itself built, the anticipation of what was happening hit me. I clung onto Dad's arm, my legs finding each step heavier than the last. I looked further up the aisle and saw Reverend Weber waiting at the very end and to his left, Edward. He was staring at me, his face slowly turning up into the most breathtaking smile, and I felt all the trepidation, all the worry over the guests, disappear in that instance.

I felt my own face break out into a smile, matching his own. What the fuck was I worrying about?

As we approached the end of the aisle, my hand was given to Edward who thanked my Dad. I curled my arm through his, and then Edward placed his other hand on top of mine. Leaning in closer to me, he whispered, "You look perfect."

I laughed nervously, and then Reverend Weber began to speak, "Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Edward Anthony Cullen and Isabella Marie Swan."

I tried to concentrate on the words coming from Reverend Weber, but I couldn't keep my eyes from Edward's. He was looking at me from the corner of his eye, his lips turning up into a smirk as he did.

We said our respective lines, Edward's loud, proud, and his voice taking on a hint of the posh English accent he had slowly begun to lose. And mine were barely audible to anyone besides Edward and the Reverend.

We exchanged our rings, and for the first time that day, my hand didn't shake, my palms were not sweating, and I no longer felt nervous. I was excited, happy, and even more in love with Edward than ever before.

We had prepared our own vows to accompany the traditional ones and now was the time to say them.

_Fuuuckkk!_

Edward went first, and that was scary, because fuck that guy was brilliant with words, and cheesy shit.

"Bella, I know this is the hugest cliché in the history of wedding vows, but meeting you quite literally did change my life. Being with you, made it so easy for me to accept who I was and what I wanted, and not once did you judge me, or expect anything of me. From that first evening we met, you let me... be me, and I have never once felt like that wasn't enough for you. There isn't a single thing about you that I don't adore. Your vulgar language, your wicked temper, the look of concentration on your face when you work, and your smile which lights up my day when I pick you up each afternoon. I love you, all of you, and I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how important you are to me."

Tears rolled down my face, and I really doubted my ability to speak coherently, but I had to do it. "I had this whole speech perfectly planned out and I learned every motherfucking line. Oh, I'm so sorry." I clamped my hand over my mouth and cringed as I heard our guests stifle laughter. Edward broke out into a beaming smile; I rolled my eyes, took a deep breath and tried to start again. "But, now... they just don't fit with how I really feel. To say I love you doesn't even come close to describing it, Edward. You're so much a part of me it actually feels like I'm lost when you're not there. Your face is in my thoughts every second of every day, and it's your voice I hear when I read out excerpts from books to the students at school. Anything I do, say, read, smell, or hear somehow relates back to you and something we've shared together. I thought I'd be scared to do this, baring my soul in front of all these people, but the fact that it's you that I'm sharing it with, just makes me happy, it makes me complete. I love you, and as unbelievably corny as it sounds, no measure of time with you will ever be enough... so..." my voice cracked and I couldn't finish.

"Let's start with forever?" Edward said, and I nodded, my vision a blurred mess from the tears flooding my eyes. He dropped my hands to wipe away the tears with his thumbs. I felt his lips press against my forehead briefly, and couldn't fail to hear the sniffles emanating from the people sitting behind us.

Reverend Weber waited patiently for me to regain some sort of composure, and then moved to the final lines of the service. "By the power vested in me, by the state of Washington, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

My cheeks flushed, and Edward laughed. "Come here, wife." He kept my left hand tightly in his, and then held my face with his other and kissed me softly on the lips.

I would have loved to remain in that very spot for at least another twenty minutes, but I suddenly became very conscious of the fact I was kissing Edward in front of his parents... you know the future King and Queen? I pulled back and smiled nervously, not daring to look around at anyone else.

"I love you, Bella Cullen," Edward murmured and then kissed the tip of my nose.

"I love you too, husband." I giggled.

Another piece of unfamiliar, yet incredibly beautiful music began to play and we turned to face our family and friends who were clapping and cheering.

My Mom dashed forward and wrapped her arms around us both at the same time. "That was beautiful. Oh, what you said to each other, it broke my heart, even your Dad had a tear in his eye. Congratulations to you both. I love you so, so much."

"Thank you, Renee," Edward said earnestly.

One by one, we were greeted. My Dad, a very emotional Esme and Carlisle, Emmett and Rose, Alice and Jasper, Angela, Jess, Tanya, and then it was time for Edward's parents.

James was first to make his move; he kissed my cheek and gave me a hug. "Welcome to the family, Sis. I know _technically_ you're not... but in my eyes you are, and you always will be."

"Thanks," I said shyly and of course I blushed.

"Congratulations, Edward." An unfamiliar voice sounded but it was impossible not to notice who it was.

_Wow, that hair is really fucking red..._

"Thank you, Victoria, this is, Bella." Edward grinned. "My wife."

"It's great to meet you, thanks for coming," I said.

She nodded but didn't say anything else, and I watched her and her fire hydrant hair wander away with James.

Two more figures approached us, and I became nervous all over again. Edward's Mother and Father looked every inch royalty. The way they walked, held their posture, and their style set them apart from everyone else.

Edward's Father was dressed in a pristine suit with not a crease in sight, immaculate Windsor knotted tie, and hair that given half the chance, would be as wild as Edward's, but instead was cropped close to his head. Edward had told me beforehand that there were to be no formalities. No one was to address him as Your Highness, Prince, etc. So what the hell should I call him?

"It's a pleasure to meet you in person, Bella." He held out his hand and shook my hand. "It was nice of you to invite us."

"Of course," I said. "It's a pleasure to meet you too... Your... um... Mr... Mr. Edward's Dad." I groaned as the words came out and my cheeks flamed red. "Sir."

Edward laughed and wrapped his arm around my waist. "His name is Edward."

"Of course," I mumbled.

"And this is my mother, Elizabeth." Edward indicated to his Mother who was smiling at me.

"I'm so glad I could finally meet you," she said. "I can see how happy you've made, Edward."

"It works both ways," I said honestly.

Everyone was called away so the chairs could be rearranged for the reception, so Edward and I took a few minutes alone.

"I cannot believe I just did that." I slapped my hand to my forehead and groaned. "Mr. Edward's Dad. Are you fucking kidding me? I said Mr. Edward's Dad to your Dad."

Edward kissed my head and I heard him chuckle. "Bella, it's not a big deal, it was nice to see him laugh. I told you, just call him, Edward."

"No fucking way!" I hissed.

"Why not?" Edward frowned. "I told him we weren't going to be formal, not when he's here."

"That's got nothing to do with it, I'll just stick to Sir," I said, and Edward looked at me to elaborate. "Look, you're called Edward. And I quite like the fact that you make me scream said name in the throes of orgasmic pleasure as often as you do. It would totally change things for me, if I started calling your Dad 'Edward'. It would be really fucking wrong. Okay?"

Edward laughed loudly. "I love you and your weird ways of thinking, so fucking much, Bella. But, as it happens, I love making you scream my name, so call my Father whatever the hell you like."

"I think I'll stick to Sir."

"I quite liked Mr. Edward's Dad," he continued to laugh as he spoke. "So now the nerve-wracking stuff is out of the way, are you ready to enjoy yourself?"

"I really am, but first of all I need a fucking smoke and some more of Dad's bourbon. Wanna sneak off and share?"

"I'd sneak off anywhere with you, Mrs. Cullen," he said and winked. "Let's go."

* * *

><p><strong>AN Phew, thank god that chapters posted! I have been literally stressed out like a crazy motherfucker thanks to this chapter. It caused me more worry than my own wedding ;)**

**Thanks to Prettyflour, Jaime Arkin and Twifanmom for their help with this, I consider myself lucky to have them working on ALWTRS :D **

**I'll happily send over a sneak preview of the next chapter if you want one. Thanks for reading and for reviewing - you guys are incredible!**

**See you next Sunday,**

**mwah**

**Katy**

**xoxo**

**Rec...**

**Mamasutra, mamasutra, mamasutra... the one that never was book 1 & 2, the one that got away book 1 & 2... I need say nothing else. See ya!**


	12. Chapter 11  The King & Queen of Cheese

**A/N - Here's the wedding... part 2 ;)**

Chapter 11 - The King and Queen of Cheese

EPOV

My wife's plan to sneak off was rumbled before we even managed three steps.

"Where do you think you two are going?" Markus asked in horror. "Cinderbella, you and Prince Charming need to mingle, darling, mingle. You have all the time in the world to do the bump 'n' grind."

"I just wan-" Bella began to protest but Markus was having none of it.

"Shoo, shoo, shoo!" He waved us back towards the others.

I pulled my _wife_ along behind me and felt like the proudest motherfucker on the face of the planet. Bella had walked down the aisle to marry _me,_ walked down the aisle to one of _my _compositions, said the most beautiful vows to _me_ and now the most incredible woman on the planet was mine to keep forever.

To say she looked beautiful would have been an injustice; she was beyond beautiful. She was Bella and that was all I could say, because there were no words that could even come close to describing her.

The rain had stopped so our small congregation of guests were gathered outside the marquee talking amongst themselves while the inside was prepared for the sit-down meal.

"I can't wait to see what food they've prepared," Esme mused. "It smells so delicious. Aro, what's on the menu?"

Aro was just breezing past with a box of table decorations, but he stopped to reel off the food options. "We had Demetri prepare our most well received dishes. There's an Oriental Crispy Duck with spinach or a Watercress and Parsley Soup to start. Then the main is Roast Rib of Beef with fondant potato, and a Madeira and wild mushroom sauce, and for dessert we have a truly divine sticky toffee pudding, in caramel sauce and accompanied by the creamiest vanilla ice cream. He is a culinary genius."

"Excuse me?" Victoria interrupted with a frown. "You do realize I'm a vegetarian? Are there any alternatives to the beef?"

Aro looked to me nervously. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind. When James had asked if he could bring Victoria along, I hadn't even considered the catering.

"Oh my goodness, I wasn't aware of that. Let me see what Demetri can do." Aro dashed off and I sighed.

"I'm sorry, Victoria, I had no idea. I should have checked with you first," I began to apologize, but it appeared to fall on deaf ears because Victoria was too busy tapping away on her phone with a look of impatience on her face.

"That's a bit fucking rude," Bella whispered to me, and I nodded.

"I got that impression earlier; I think she is definitely a city girl."

After just a short wait, Markus and Aro called us all over to the one large table that had been set up in the middle of the marquee. We took our seats and Bella giggled as Markus himself came out to pour us all a glass of champagne.

"Markus, what the hell are you doing?" she asked.

"Cinderbella, I trusted no one but Aro and myself to cater your wedding. I will not have any part of this day getting out to the press, and as much as I love my staff I think a few would take advantage of this situation." He patted my head softly. "Besides, who better than your fairy godmother to tend to your every need on your wedding day?"

"Thank you, Markus, it's perfect," I said, and Markus blew me a kiss, much to Emmett's and Jasper's amusement.

Emmett was about to make a joke when my Father cleared his throat. We looked to him in shock as he stood up. "Elizabeth and I, admittedly, were unsure what would be suitable for a gift. You already had your own home, in what I can see is an idyllic place. But, after all the wedding build-up, we presumed that you would be in need of a break. We understand a run-of-the-mill honeymoon would be out of the question, so..." He smiled. "I called in a favour with a friend and got you a ten day break on Necker Island."

"What's Necker Island?" Bella asked me quietly, but I was too stunned to answer at first. .

"It's Richard Branson's private resort," my Father added. "It's in the British Virgin Islands and you would have complete and utter privacy. All the amenities are at your disposal and besides the few members of staff, you will be the only guests there."

"_Private Island? Private motherfucking Island? Holy motherfucking, shitting hell!" _

I looked at Bella who was oblivious to the fact she had said that out loud and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. "Motherfucking, shitting hell indeed, Love."

I saw my Mother's eyes widen a little, and Victoria definitely didn't look impressed, but the rest of us who knew Bella laughed quietly as she blushed and shook her head in embarrassment.

"There's a private plane departing from an airfield on the outskirts of Seattle at nine o'clock in the morning. You can relax and enjoy some time alone together," my Father added and sat back down. "I hear it's a truly remarkable place. I'd quite like to hear about it when you return."

"Thank you, so much. It's amazing," I said, and I could see Bella was as overwhelmed as I was.

"Well, jeez, now mine and Rosie's gift seems a little shitty," Emmett grumbled. "I really should have gone first."

"Em, I'm sure we'll love it," I reassured him.

He pushed a bag across the table and Bella pulled out a small white box. "I know Bella liked the ones you bought her, so I thought it would be nice if you had one for this day."

It was a snow globe with a little bride and groom inside, and the date and time of the wedding had been painted on the bottom.

"Oh my God, guys, thank you, that is perfect... it's so perfect," Bella said excitedly. "I love it."

I watched as she shook it over and over again and still couldn't bring herself to stop. I had to pry it from her hands to get a good look at it myself.

"Victoria, my darling, Demetri's is preparing you a fabulous vegetarian dish as we speak," Markus said with a polite smile, as the food was brought out.

"That's a relief," she murmured icily, and again Esme narrowed her eyes in disapproval.

"Thanks, Markus, tell Demetri he's a lifesaver," Bella said.

Markus bent down to whisper in her ear, "Demetri said to remember 'spoongate'. Apparently, you'll understand?"

Bella giggled and I too burst out laughing. "Oh she understands, and tell him I appreciate the gesture," I said to a baffled looking Markus but he nodded and danced away.

"_Ha ha, Gingerminger, taste Demetri's dicksweat!"_

I looked up anxiously, but no one else appeared to have heard Bella's slip. I shook my head slightly and smirked and her hand flew to her mouth in horror. God, I loved my wife.

~x~

The food was delicious, and Victoria's face eating her "special" dish was hilarious. Bella and I listened as our family reeled off tale after tale about us as children. She snuggled up into my side, and I tried to savour every moment, because in reality, there was little chance everyone would be together like this again.

We shared our first dance, to another of my own songs, and I resisted the urge to carry her off the dance floor and back upstairs to our bedroom. More traditional party music began to play, and we found ourselves dancing with almost all of the guests at some time or another. But then Markus wanted to dance with Bella, which happened to be one of the most bizarre things I'd ever seen. He squealed and twirled her around before begging she do the same to him. Definitely a role-reversal thing going on.

"Come on, Cinderbella, faster, faster," he howled and she did her best. "You can do better than that, spin me."

Bella scowled. "Alright, Markus, calm down. You're like twice the size of me, it's frickin' hard to do!"

"Move, Bella," Emmett said with a huge grin on his face. "Let me show him how it's done."

Bella moved back to my side and we all watched as Emmett quite literally spun Markus around like a spinning top. Markus' cackles were almost louder than the music and he was so dizzy, he fell on the floor when Emmett finally let him go.

The track changed to a less up-tempo number, and I wrapped my arms around Bella and pulled her into the middle of the dance floor. "I love you, Mrs. Cullen," I whispered and kissed her forehead.

"I love you too, Mr. Cullen." She grinned and I was just about to lean in for another kiss when I felt a hand tap me on the shoulder.

"Perhaps I could have this dance?" my Father held out his hand to Bella and her eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

"Um... of course..." she mumbled and blushed furiously. She took his hand and let him lead her away.

I watched as he spoke to her while they danced, Bella could barely look at him and her cheeks were growing redder and redder as the seconds ticked by.

"She's a really special girl," my Mother said and moved to stand close to me. "I'm glad you found her."

"Even after all that's happened?" I asked.

"Yes," she said simply. "And had your Grandmother been here, she would have said the same thing, Edward. Anyone who could see the two of you together would understand you would never have stayed away."

"I would never have put Bella through tha-"

"Yes you would, and Bella would have taken you however she could. You were barely coping after just a matter of weeks, did you honestly think you could have gone the rest of your life without seeing her again?" she said and shook her head. "I didn't want you to choose this path, I have to admit. I even suggested etiquette and elocution lessons for the girl, and your Grandmother would have agreed, but your Father was having none of it. I didn't understand... but now I can see why."

I frowned and she reached up to touch my cheek softly. "I almost don't recognise the man you are now; compared to the shell of a person you used to be. Your father and I were such selfish parents. We were both too wrapped up in our own bitterness of being forced into this life together, that we never really did the right thing by the two people who really were innocent in all this mess. I am ashamed to say that my own sister understands my sons more than I ever could, but I will always be thankful that she stepped in when she did, because seeing you like this, pleases me more than I could ever explain."

I smiled and wondered if this was the moment to give her a hug, but she stepped away and folded her arms across her chest. I wasn't offended, this was her way, and this was who she was. In fact, this conversation was probably the longest and most heartfelt we had ever had.

"I think Bella would appreciate you rescuing her, Edward. The poor thing looks terrified." She walked away and I laughed.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut in," I said as I approached Bella and my Father.

"Bella, it was a pleasure," my Father said and kissed her cheek quickly before letting her slide back into my arms. "Edward, we will have to leave in a few minutes. As much as we would love to stay, I would hate for our presence to draw any unwanted attention to the life you've managed to build, plus the security team are particularly cautious considering just how isolated we are out here. I am sorry."

"I understand. I'm just glad you came." I shook his hand and he smiled.

"As am I. Enjoy your honeymoon and I look forward to hearing all about it..." he paused and grimaced. "Mm, I think that sentence would benefit from a little rephrasing. I look forward to hearing about the accommodation, food, and amenities." A relaxed laugh escaped his lips and Bella giggled.

"Thank you for coming all this way," she said and he nodded.

"Goodbye." He reached out and shook my hand and then stepped closer to put his arm around me. To others it would still be quite formal-looking, but we had never been touchy-feely and it made me happy to know we really were moving forward.

I smiled and wrapped my arms tightly around Bella's waist as he walked from the dance floor and out of the marquee.

"What did he say?" I whispered in her ear. "While you were dancing?"

"He thanked me," she said and blushed again. I reached up and ran my fingers across her cheekbones to feel her warm skin. "He said... um... I gave him the chance to make things right with you. I didn't know what to say; I mean it wasn't really much to do with me-"

"Bella, it was everything to do with you. Since the very first day, it was always everything to do with you." I kissed her and smiled. "Forget Markus, you're _my _Fairy Godmother, because you fixed it all."

"Oh God, here comes the cheese again." She rolled her eyes and I scowled. "What? You are the King of Cheese, Edward Cullen."

"King of Cheese?" I raised an eyebrow and laughed. "It's the only royal title I'll ever hold now I suppose. I am cheesy, you're right, I can't even deny it, but you know what?"

"What?" she said and stood on her toes to press her lips to mine.

"You love me, so motherfucking much; you don't give a shit about the cheese."

"You're absolutely right," She laughed and agreed, "I motherfucking love you, cheese included, Mr. Cullen. Now can we pleeeaase say 'goodnight' to everyone, I would like to see you naked at least once before midnight."

Much to Victoria's annoyance, James insisted on remaining at the wedding after my parent's had left. Two members of the security team remained behind and Esme offered them all a place to spend the night. She was probably the only one who hadn't really enjoyed herself, but I was too happy to worry about that.

"Mom, I'm so tired... and Edward and I really need to get our things together... we need to be in Seattle tomorrow morning. You don't mind if we leave you guys to it, do you?" Bella asked sweetly, and Renee sighed.

"It is your wedding, if you want to streak across the lawn then do it! If you want to leave us here to enjoy the rest of this fabulous night so you can _pack, _then go ahead. I think I'm quite looking forward to your Father and I doing some _packing_ ourselves." She winked and then laughed as Bella pretended to gag. "Hey guys, come and say goodnight to the bride and groom, they're feeling a little tired."

"Already?" A chorus of objections began to sound, but we continued to insist.

We hugged, kissed, and thanked everyone for coming. Renee and Esme became quite teary-eyed, and Carlisle offered kindly to drive us to Seattle the following morning. James, Emmett and Jasper made several lewd comments about keeping the noise down until everyone went home, and Bella's friends begged her to text them as soon as we'd arrived on the island. And then there was Markus.

"Oh, Cinderbella, I told you didn't I? I told her, Edward. Just a few days after you two met, I told her. I just knew she'd get her Prince." He clutched his chest and sniffled. "And to think, it was because of Caius Catering... Tanya, he'd be so happy to know he'd made it happen... Wouldn't he?"

"He would, Markus," Tanya said and smiled. "He'd also be very impressed with the amount of alcohol you've consumed tonight. I'm surprised you're still standing."

Aro tried to pull Markus away but he waved his hands and carried on, "We will be back here for any party you need, birthday, anniversary, New Years, Christmas, and we do fabulous baby showers..." he winked and added, "I love you two with all of my heart, Cinderbella and Prince Charming."

"You do know you need to carry her in the house, Edward, over the threshold remember?" Esme said and everyone else cheered.

"That's not necessary-" Bella began to say but I picked her up before she could finish.

"I can get you in the house faster if I can carry you," I whispered. "You cannot be trusted to run in that dress, and walking would be just too fucking slow."

I kissed her and quite literally ran into the house, almost tripping on the door frame as I did and I didn't put her down until we were in our bedroom. I could still hear the music from the party, and I looked at Bella who was smiling shyly.

"Something wrong?" I asked and she shook her head.

"No, it's perfect. But... don't you think it feels, I don't know... a little weird? I mean I feel like this is our first time – I'm so nervous. It's fucking stupid isn't it?" she mumbled and took a deep breath.

I took off my jacket and took her face in my hands. "But it is our first time. Surely you can remember what I said the night I asked you to marry me? About our first time when you were my wife?"

She smiled. "Yes, of course I remember."

"It's not the most romantic of wedding nights is it? In our bedroom while the rest of our friends and family are out in our garden." I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck.

Bella kissed me and shook her head. "There doesn't have to be Wendy houses, open fire-places or candles to make it romantic. This is _our _house, _our_ bed, and I'm with you – I couldn't think of anything more perfect."

"Well hello there Queen of Cheese," I teased and laughed as she scowled. "I'm kidding, Bella."

I kissed her this time and pushed her back gently onto the bed. I couldn't help but chuckle against her mouth as I tried to hold onto her and found myself at war with masses of fabric from her dress.

"Jesus, how fucking much of the stuff is there," I grumbled.

"Then we should take it off... there might just be something you'll like even more underneath it," she said sexily and I jumped straight to my feet pulling her with me. "You'll have to unbutton me..."

I turned her around and fumbled with what seemed like hundreds of the most fiddly damned buttons in the world. "Christ, it's going to be time to leave for the airport before I get these things open," I muttered and Bella's giggles made me laugh. "I'm fucking serious. This is like the Grease outfit all over again."

Finally, I popped the last one and Bella turned back to face me. As the dress began to fall away, I saw what looked a lot like a corset hugging Bella's body. It was almost sheer and did that miraculous thing with her tits like the black one did last week. She also wore matching underwear and then my eyes almost popped out of their sockets when I saw she was wearing stockings.

"Jesus, Bella. You're so fucking beautiful... you're always beautiful of course... but shit look at you." I was staring at her unashamedly before she snatched a handful of my shirt and pulled me closer. "Tell me you can keep those on... I really want you to keep them on. Fuck."

"Whatever you want, Edward," she said breathlessly and kissed me.

As soon as my shirt and trousers were discarded, I laid her back down on the bed and hovered over her, still physically unable to stop staring at her. I kissed her once more and then dipped my head to brush my lips over her neck, down to her collar bone and set about covering every inch of her body. I moved the material down so I could take her nipple into my mouth.

"Edward," she moaned and her fingers knotted themselves into my hair.

I drifted lower, having to settle for kissing her stomach and ribs on top of the corset. One of my fingers wandered to between her legs and slipped inside her underwear and I groaned at how wet I found her. I still didn't want to remove any part of this ensemble so I curled the rest of my fingers around the panties and pushed them to one side, before placing a kiss on the inside of her thigh.

"Oh my God," she moaned even louder and then snatched a breath as I ran my tongue up and down in slow, firm strokes. "Fuck that's... oh God."

Her back arched and then fell back to the bed as I swirled my tongue against her clit. With my free hand I pushed two fingers inside her and I could feel her legs press into the bed beside me. She screamed out and tightened around my fingers, and I hoped to fucking God the music was on loud enough outside to hide the sound from our guests.

I kissed my way back up her body and she squirmed, still so sensitive after her orgasm. Twice she tried to push me onto my back, and twice I stopped her.

"No, baby, I need you right now," I whispered in her ear, and slipped straight inside her. "God you feel so fucking good."

Bella's legs wrapped around me as she tried to encourage me to move faster, nothing ever felt as good as this. Her nails dug into my shoulders and I buried my face into the crook of her neck as I tried to hold off as long as I could. With each thrust of my hips she moaned louder and somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought about just how fucking loud we were both being, but I couldn't bring myself to care too much. Bella's body started to clamp down again, that was too much for me to stand and I came hard and every bone in my body seemed to turn to jelly.

"I love you," she panted and her fingers drifted lazily up and down my spine. "That was so fucking amazing..."

"I'm not done with you yet," I said and pushed back to look her in the eye. "I have to make sure I follow through on my promise. Tonight, Mrs. Cullen, will be the best night of your fucking life."

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thank you so much for reading and reviewing I hope you liked it! Thanks to Prettyflour & Jaime Arkin for pre-reading & my beta, Twifanmom they always do such a wonderful job. If you want a peek at the next chapter please just ask!**

**See you next Sunday for the honeymoon :)**

**TTFN**

**Katy**

**PS - Maybe you want to pay a visit to the TwilightFicZoneContest page on FFN between the 6th & 13th Feb...? I have submitted an entry for the What's Love To You contest. It's anon but there some great stories on there should you want to take a look & maybe cast your vote?**


	13. Chapter 12  Necker Island Baby!

**Hi! Here's the honeymoon. Thanks to the amazing Prettyflour, Jaime Arkin & Twifanmom who continue to do great things with this! **

Chapter 12 - Necker Island Baby!

EPOV

"A jet? A private fucking jet?" Bella shrieked as we were escorted towards our plane. "We're going in that?"

"Yes." I laughed and wrapped my arm around her waist. "We are."

"Wow, your Father's pulled out all the stops. Fucking hell, it's fantastic." She started to bob her head and sing _Like a G6_ when a member of the crew interrupted.

"It's a Falcon, Madam." The woman turned her nose up at Bella.

"Sorry, I was just goofing around," she said sheepishly, and I shot the woman a nasty look.

"Don't apologize, love," I said and kissed her cheek. "They've got no sense of humour, that's all."

"Edward?" Bella asked, a cheeky glint in her eye. "Just how private are we talking, exactly?"

"Well, I suppose the pilots and the stewardess, so that's not private enough for what you had in mind," I warned her. "Keep those dirty thoughts out of your head, Mrs. Cullen."

But now it was too late for me; I couldn't stop the images of Bella and I together on the plane and just the thought of it made my dick hard.

"Fucking hell, Bella. Now look what you've done," I grumbled quietly and tried to discreetly adjust my trousers.

"But we'll never get the chance again. Can't we lose the stuck-up stewardess? You can make up an excuse about wanting privacy." She looked at me hopefully and I groaned.

I'd do almost anything she asked me to, so an hour later we were alone in the cabin with just the pilots on board. As soon as the Captain told us we were free to move around the cabin, Bella unfastened her seat belt and towed me towards the back of the plane to a seating area. She pushed me down and sat across my lap.

"I don't know if this is such a good idea," I whispered, and looked nervously toward the cockpit. "We could get arrested."

"Those guys are too busy flying the plane, Edward. Besides, I'm sure they're used to it by now..." She slid to her knees on the floor in front of me and ran her hands up and down my thighs. "I think I could persuade you."

"Bella, I..." I protested weakly, but I let her unbutton my pants. Who was I kidding? Bella's mouth on me I'd take anywhere I could get it.

I flattened my hands against the seat, blowing out a shaky breath when she freed me from my boxers and gripped my shaft with a smirk on her face. I groaned loudly as her tongue flicked against my head, and then again when her lips wrapped tightly around me. "God damn, baby," I murmured.

She moved her head back and forth, taking me deeper each time and always keeping her eyes on me as she did. I held her head as softly as I could and as she grazed her teeth against me I slammed my head back against the rest, squeezing my eyes shut tightly. "Fuck, that's amazing." I hated missing the visual of Bella doing this to me, so I forced my eyes open to watch again. "Shit, I'm going to come..."

As soon as I was done, I pulled Bella up to stand in front of me. "Take these off," I commanded and she grinned as I tugged down her jeans. "And these, I want to see you." She stepped out of her black underwear and I held onto her hips kissing her stomach.

I told her to sit down, and I moved to kneel in between her legs. I leaned forward, making one long sweep with my tongue and she moaned really fucking loudly. I looked back quickly to make sure the door separating us from the cockpit was still closed.

"Don't fucking stop," she groaned.

"Then you have to be quiet, baby. I don't want them coming back here." I didn't give her a chance to answer; I moved my head back, licked and sucked her clit, and curled one finger up inside her. Her taste still drove me wild, and that, coupled with how she was reacting made me hard again. She seemed to explode all at once and her legs tried to close around my head. I let her come back down and then asked her to turn to face away from me, her knees on the seat.

She did, and then looked over at me, waiting. I didn't need telling twice; I held onto her hips and pushed inside. We both groaned at the sensation, but just as I was about to move again, the plane lurched and I fell backwards onto the floor between the two couches with a loud thud.

"Shit, what the fuck?" I shouted and Bella jumped up quickly. Her worry quickly turned to amusement and she started giggling. I was on my back with trousers halfway down my legs. "It's not funny, Bella." I grumbled.

"My sincere apologies, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, we appear to be experiencing some turbulence. Please remain in your seats and keep your seat belt fastened. I'll let you know when we clear the worst." The Captain spoke over the intercom, so we dressed quickly and returned to our seats.

"That's what happens when you do something illegal, Bella. It comes back to bite you on the arse." I shook my head and Bella laughed. "That hurt, it's not funny."

"Aw, poor baby, shall I kiss your boo boo better?" she teased and then rested her head on my shoulder. "You can't deny it was a lot of fun."

"It was, but that's the end of the fun. I'll fuck your brains out as soon as we land, but not a second before. No more attempts to seduce me, because they won't work." I tried to sound convincing and stern, but my mouth curled up into a smile, and I put my arm around her shoulders.

"If I _really _wanted to seduce you, Edward, you wouldn't stand a chance," she said confidently. "You know you are powerless when it comes to resisting me."

"I wish I could deny it." I laughed again and kissed her hair.

As it turned out, Bella didn't get a chance to try and work her magic again. The turbulence continued for the rest of the flight, and only eased as we made our final approach to Beef Island. This was the closest commercial airport to Necker Island, and it was just a short helicopter ride to our final destination.

Bella kept her face buried in my chest the entire time we were on board the helicopter. She didn't want to see the sunset, the ocean, or the Island as it came into view. I rubbed her back and talked her through the flight with promises of making her feel better as soon as we got to our accommodation.

"I'm not stepping foot in a motherfucking helicopter ever again. We can take the boat back when we leave," she said defiantly. "I fucking hated it."

"Whatever you want, love." I smiled.

We were driven to our beach bungalow in a customized golf cart. The resort manager, who introduced himself as Pierre, gave us a brief outline of the amenities at our disposal, and then showed us inside. It wasn't an overly large place, but it was stunning. It had two stories; the upper level housed the lounge and games room which opened onto the terrace, and there was our own private infinity pool overlooking the view of the island. Downstairs was made up entirely of the bedroom and master suite. There was a huge, sunken bath which could be made alfresco with just the opening of the fold-away doors. The four poster bed was swathed in white curtains; made to serve a purpose and protect against insect bites, but it looked like something from a movie. Then, a pair of French doors opened to reveal our very own stretch of beach right outside. The waves were crashing against the sand, and the warm breeze blew softly through the room.

"Wow," Bella murmured and I agreed.

"The resident Chef will be on hand to prepare your meals. We can either serve them in the main bar area, or we will happily deliver them for you to enjoy in complete privacy." Pierre was looking at me, waiting for my answer.

"Here please," I said and Bella nodded, her eyes burning into mine.

"Of course, Sir," Pierre replied and handed me a menu. "Please make your choice for dinner this evening." I chose the first two things on the list and thrust the menu back. "Anything else?"

"That's all," I answered and he left.

As soon as we were alone, I scooped Bella up in my arms and carried her to the bed. "Now we can finish what we started on the plane."

Our clothes were discarded and without moving my gaze from hers, I slowly eased inside her. "I love you."

There was no rushing, no urgent desire that needed to be sated. This was just us together, and happy to be that way. With the pent up energy from the flight, it wasn't long before I could feel Bella tighten around me. I wrapped one arm around her back and lifted her hips to meet mine. She reacted again almost immediately and I came with one last push. We were sweaty, tired, and hot, but in no rush to move a muscle.

"I could stay like this with you forever," she whispered. "No one else, just me and you."

"As could I, love."

We took a bath together and then ate the dinner up on the terrace before returning to bed and spending the rest of the night tangled up in each other's arms.

The sunlight pouring in through the still open doors, and the sound of the ocean, roused me from an extremely satisfying sleep. I had a mouthful of Bella's hair, and her head buried in the crook of my neck. I had intended to lay there for a while, but Bella shifted slightly.

"I've got bites all over my ass. We forgot to shut the fucking doors and close the drapes," she growled. "I told you we should have shut them before we got in bed. They're itching like mad."

"I have something for that," I said and got straight up. "I never travelled anywhere without it before."

I found what I was looking for and sat back on the bed. "Roll over."

With a sigh, she did, and I saw five or six bites on her backside and the top of her leg. "Wow, looks like something had a good meal last night." I rubbed the ointment on each offending mark.

"What can I say, I must taste really fucking good," she said, her voice muffled slightly by the pillow.

"Oh, but I knew that already," I said in her ear, and she giggled. "All done. This will stop the itching, I promise." I slapped an unaffected part of skin and stood back up. "What do you want to do today?"

"Make out with you in the pool, on the beach, in the sea... You catch my drift?" She wandered over as I dressed and put her arms around my waist. "As long as nudity and thrusting are involved, I'm a happy girl."

I kissed her and chuckled. "We have plenty of time for nudity and thrusting. I want to see the island in the daylight. How about we eat breakfast and then explore?"

Doing her utmost to distract me from the exploration of the island, Bella donned the most barely-there bikini I'd ever seen, and the shortest pair of shorts known to man. Her hair fell down her back and she had on a wide brimmed hat and sunglasses - beautiful.

She protested and complained as I dragged her along. I pointed out wildlife, tried to get her to pose for photos but she was certainly sulking. Seeing her acting like this made me laugh, but that only made matters worse.

"I'm going to die of heatstroke, or from the poison in these fucking mosquito bites and you're laughing at me?" she hissed. "Who the fuck wants to go on a god damn hike in this heat?"

To be fair, the island was a lot larger than I'd expected and we'd been walking for a while. "I'm sorry, love, I didn't realize we'd be out here this long," I apologized and gestured to a path to the beach. "Let's walk down to the beach and take a swim?"

"Sure, let's fore-go death by heat and get eaten by sharks instead."

It was going to take a lot of work to snap her out of this mood. I took her hand and led her down the path and onto the sand. I removed my sneakers and swore, "Fuck that's really hot." I ran to the water barely letting my feet touch the ground. "Be careful, love."

She laughed once and took her own shoes off and then walked slowly towards me, making a point. "Wuss," she joked but her face looked a little softer.

We messed around in the water, splashing and dunking each other. "You said you wanted to make out in the sea." I winked. "I hope you're still up for it, because I'd quite like to."

"I wanna do more than fool around with you, Edward. This heat's making me so fucking horny." I swallowed hard as she reached behind her neck and untied the string on her bikini top. She let it fall away and then threw it onto the sand. "We're never going to get the chance to come back here, so I want to make the most of everything." She waded through the water and placed a hand on my chest, pushing me back out of deeper water so I could lie down.

My feet were just about in the sea, and the sand was hot on my back, but I didn't care. Bella gave one last look around and removed her bikini bottoms. I shuffled my shorts off and she lowered herself straight onto me.

I wanted to kiss her, so I pulled her legs forward, wrapping them around my waist and sat up. I kissed her and moved her hips back and forth. "God, you feel so fucking good like this."

Sand was getting everywhere, the heat from the sun was burning my skin, but there was no way I was stopping. We moved together and when I knew I was close, I pushed Bella back slightly. I rubbed her clit and her scream actually fucking echoed around us.

I lay back down on the sand and held Bella against me for a few minutes while we both caught our breath.

"Do you think they can really see us?" Bella asked as she looked up to the sky. "Do you think they can see that we're naked?"

I followed her gaze and frowned. "They?"

"The satellites up in space. Do you think they really can zoom in close enough to see our bits and pieces clearly?"

"I'm not having anyone else seeing your bits and pieces, Mrs. Cullen." I rolled over her and she giggled.

"Now they can see your ass," she said. "And I don't want anyone else seeing that."

"Rather my ass than your body... perhaps we should get dressed? I'm feeling a little paranoid now." I stood up and held out my hand to help her to her feet.

"I'm going for a swim first–you don't even want to know about the places I have sand." She attempted to cover herself with her hands and then ran into the water. "Would you bring my bikini with you?"

"I quite like that look on you," I shouted.

"I'll be happy to give you another showing when we get back to our bungalow, but don't forget the satellites might be zooming in on your dick as we speak."

We rinsed off, and much to my disappointment, Bella put back on her bikini and shorts. We walked slowly back to our bungalow, hand in hand. I watched my wife as we walked; her hair had begun to dry in loose curls down her back and freckles were breaking out across her nose and cheeks.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked.

"I like looking at you, Bella. You should know that by now." I rolled my eyes and said casually, "You're so fucking beautiful."

"Ah welcome, Your Highness. The people of Cheeseland were beginning to worry you'd abdicated this position too." She giggled.

"Low blow, love. But, the people of Cheeseland can rest assured I will never give up this title." I brought our entwined hands to my mouth and kissed her knuckles. "Not when I have such a spectacular Queen at my side."

~x~

The days that followed seemed to fly by. Although we had an endless array of activities we could participate in, we rarely ventured from our own private haven. I much preferred lazing around with my wife in as little clothing as I could persuade her. We sunbathed on the beach, watched movies out on the terrace, and we made a habit of going for a late night, naked swim in the pool or the sea.

The day before we were due to leave, I woke early. Leaving Bella to sleep for a while longer, I took a walk down to the sea and sat in the shallow water; letting the waves break against my feet. I marvelled at just how remote we were. Besides a few members of staff and one or two boats which travelled past in the distance, Bella and I had been completely undisturbed for the most part.

I could see a boat now, moored out to sea. This was a popular place for divers given the fact, the water was crystal clear and home to an abundance of tropical fish and other wildlife. I was still looking around and hadn't heard Bella approach, so her voice startled me.

"What are you doing out here?"

I looked up and squinted to see her properly in the bright sunlight. "Just making the most of the view. I'm sad to be leaving."

She nodded sadly and sat beside me. "Me too. It's been so fucking incredible, Edward." She linked her arm through mine and sighed.

Turning my face to hers I kissed her gently on her lips. I could feel her try to push me back onto the sand, but I pulled back and stopped her. "Not right now, love. We're not entirely alone." I inclined my head toward the boat.

"Even out here we get motherfucking cock blocked," she grumbled and rested her head on my shoulder.

"We can always go back inside? They can't cock block if they can't see us." I kissed her nose and she leaped to her feet.

"Get your ass inside then, Cullen." She began to back away, keeping her eyes on me.

I jumped up and grinned, happily stalking after her. I didn't see the rock until it was too late. Bella's foot caught against it and she fell backwards onto the sand.

"Shit, Bella, are you alright?" I ran to her side and saw her smiling.

"Yeah," she said and got back to her feet. "It was bound to happen. I was trying to be sexy."

I took her hand in mine and chuckled. "You don't have to try, Bella. You're sexy all the fucking time."

"You're a little biased don't you think?" she said.

"Absolutely, I am. But it doesn't make it any less true." I shrugged and led her into the house.

We ate most meals out on our terrace, and today was no exception until it was time for dinner. I had something else planned, but whether it would be a success or not remained to be seen. I had asked Pierre to help me set up the table and chairs out on the beach. The chef had prepared us two courses and they were waiting on the table.

For the first time since arriving, I actually dressed in something other than swim shorts. I wore a shirt and some linen trousers and asked Bella if she could wear something dressy, too. In a red summery dress, which emphasized her slightly tanned skin, she was stunning.

The chairs were uneven in the sand, and the breeze coming from the sea was a little on the cool side, but it was nice and Bella seemed to like it.

"Wow, this is great, Edward," she said and skipped to the table. "What are we eating?"

"I have absolutely no idea," I said with a laugh. "I let the chef take care of that by himself."

I lifted the lid on the dish in front of me and I saw Bella peer over to have a look. "It says Seafood Broth." I looked up to Bella whose look of trepidation seemed to match my own. "It... um... looks..."

"Like shit," she finished for me and we both burst out laughing.

"Now, I'm sure it tastes better than it looks." I scooped up a spoonful and tried it.

"Nope, I'm pretty sure it will taste as revolting as it looks. Are you sure my Mom didn't cook this, because it has all the trademarks of _Crap-a-la-Renee?" _She watched as I chewed and swallowed. "Well?"

"Yes, it tastes like shit," I said, and gulped back some water. "So much for a romantic dinner."

"We still have dessert right? I'm sure that will be just fine." She lifted the lid off another dish, and smiled. "See, it's profiteroles and cream. I fucking love them." She picked up one and reached over the table to feed it to me.

Just as I opened my mouth, a large gust of wind blew across and scattered grains of sand all over us and all over the food.

"For Christ's sake," I growled and shook my head. "I think it would be best if we order again and stick to eating on the terrace. This was a complete fuck up."

"I loved the thought," Bella said happily. "Thank you, Edward."

After a more successful second attempt at dinner, Bella and I went straight to bed and spent the rest of the night, kissing, touching, and loving each other. Even now, being with her like this made me feel like the luckiest motherfucker in the world.

~x~

In perfect reflection of our mood; the next day was grey, wet, and much cooler. We packed quietly, and then despite the rain, took one last stroll on the beach before Pierre drove us back to the heliport.

Bella didn't even object to the helicopter, she just nestled her head against my chest and watched as we took off. Necker Island, our own little paradise, became smaller and smaller as we flew away.

"We'll come back, I promise," I told her.

"But, it's back to the real world for now, huh?"

I smiled and kissed the top of her head. The real world had actually been pretty damn good to me recently and it made me wonder what else I had to look forward to.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you liked it! I have a preview of the next chapter which I'll happily send over if you want a look. <strong>

**Thank you all so much for reading, reviewing, alerting, favoriting etc... it really blows me away every week. If I could send you flights and holidays to Necker Island I really would... after I'd been of course ;)**

**I mentioned it last week, but I'm going to again... I have entered a contest TwilightFicZone are holding called What's love to you? There are some amazing picture prompts and some wonderful entries. Voting is still open if you want to have a look... **

**See you next Sunday, **

**Katy**

**xoxo**


	14. Chapter 13   Let Me Fix This

**A/N "POP!"...**

Chapter 13 – Let Me Fix This

EPOV

Our journey home was nothing like the first one. We were not alone in the cabin, this time there was a stewardess working the flight, and I wasn't brave enough to even dare attempt anything while she was on patrol. Bella took an instant dislike to her, and claimed she was blatantly eye-fucking me. Maybe she was, maybe she wasn't. I didn't care much either way... I was too busy eye-fucking my wife.

We settled in and watched a couple of movies, napped, and ate lunch, dinner, or whatever the hell it was. It was still dark when we landed just outside Seattle, but the lights of the city were a stark contrast to the tranquillity we had experienced for the past ten days.

It was raining, of course, but Emmett and Carlisle were standing out of the car and looked to be embroiled in a heated discussion about something. Carlisle raised his hand and gesticulated to Emmett, who held up his hands and shook his head. They both stopped the second they saw Bella and me approaching.

"Welcome home, you two. Did you have a nice time?" Carlisle asked as Emmett and I put our bags into the trunk.

"It was really, really great," Bella said sadly. "We didn't want to come home."

"I'm sure you didn't," Carlisle smiled, and we all got into the car.

The radio came on automatically when he turned the ignition, but Emmett reached to switch it off quickly. "So... um... you two were completely alone? No one else around at all?" Emmett asked, trying to be nonchalant, but I saw Carlisle glance sharply at him.

"There were one or two staff, but we rarely saw them. It was incredibly private," I replied, and watched them studiously.

"So did you watch much television, or read the newspapers? Did you have access to the web?" Emmett asked, and I frowned.

"Seriously, Emmett? You're asking if we spent our honeymoon catching up on the news or checking our email?" Bella giggled, but Emmett barely managed a smile.

"What's wrong?" I asked, and Carlisle sighed.

"It might be best if we discuss this when we get back home," he said.

"Discuss what? What's going on?" Bella asked.

Deep down I already knew. There would be only one reason Emmett was asking about the media, and that was because there had been something printed he'd hoped we'd not seen.

"The Press?" I asked, and Emmett nodded.

"What do you mean, 'the press'?" Bella asked and she looked anxious.

"A few pictures have appeared online and in today's newspapers of you and Bella. Buckingham Palace managed to persuade the more reputable tabloids and websites to pixellate Bella's face, but some refused. It's as clear as day that it's you, I'm afraid, Edward. Show him, Emmett."

Emmett reached behind and handed me one of the local papers. On the front page I saw Bella and I sitting on the beach; her arm was through mine and her head on my shoulder. In the next shot I was kissing her, and there was a close up of my left hand, making a point of showing the world my wedding ring–these were taken yesterday morning.

"But how did they take them, we were alone for fucks sake?" Bella cried.

"The boat," I whispered, and she put her face in her hands. "I'm sorry, love, I thought it was just another excursion. I never considered it could be..." I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and looked back to Emmett. "How much do they know?"

"Not a lot, admittedly. No one from Buckingham Palace will comment. They've tried speaking to both the resort and Richard Branson, but they too refused to reveal anything. Obviously, they're assuming you're married, but they have no idea who Bella is. Not yet anyway." Carlisle kept his eyes on the road as he spoke.

"It might not turn into anything, Edward. I mean, they have no reason to even consider Forks, but we'll be prepared in case they do," Emmett said. "I've got your back, guys."

Bella was quiet. I asked her, "Are you okay, love?"

"Do you think they'll find us?" she asked quietly and looked up at me, tears in her eyes.

"I honestly don't know. If they track my Parent's movements they'll learn they came to Seattle... all it takes is for one person to recognize you and tell someone else... we might be fortunate." I was being hopeful at the very best.

"We'll be okay. I mean it had to happen sometime right? At least we managed to enjoy our wedding, and our honeymoon. I knew what I was signing up for with you, Edward." She tried to smile but I could see she was overwhelmed. "We'll be fine."

We would, of that I had unwavering faith, but things were undoubtedly going to get more difficult.

BPOV

Consider our bubble well and truly fucking burst. Would they really find us? Would someone recognize my face and tip them off? Would I lose my job?

Edward was doing a good job at appearing calm, but I didn't want to add to his stress by freaking out, so I did my best to act as cool as possible. Inside, I was panic-stricken.

I asked to read the article; I needed to know exactly what was being printed. When I took another look at the photos it was actually a bitter sweet moment. Had the context been different, they would have been really tender and ones I would have liked to look back on in years to come. But they were definitely not ones I wanted the whole world to see.

_After more than a year of speculation and hundreds of sightings, pictures have finally emerged of Queen Elizabeth's grandson–Edward, on vacation on Sir. Richard Branson's private island in the Caribbean._

_Taken just yesterday, the former Prince looked relaxed and content as he shared a somewhat intimate moment, with an as yet, unnamed female. The two kissed and cuddled before returning back inside their bungalow._

_Edward, who shocked the world by renouncing all ties to his family and his future as a British monarch in January of last year; was spotted wearing a wedding band, leading to speculation there was significantly more to his departure than Buckingham Palace claimed._

_There is still no information to indicate where he has been living since he left London, but with a headline such as this, interest is bound to peak again as the world's media compete to break the truth once and for all._

_At the time this article went to print, neither Buckingham Palace, nor anyone connected with Necker Island would comment. However, a statement is expected at some point._

It wasn't as bad as I expected, so it didn't cause me any additional stress. They had no idea who I was or where we lived. But, I was sure that would change before too long.

"Are the photos on the web pretty much the same as these?" I asked, thinking about other moments we'd shared which would have caused an even bigger uproar.

"Yeah, it's the same few being reprinted... it must have just been the one day. I suppose that's one blessing in all of this; they only found you as you were preparing to leave. I'm really sorry guys, it's not what you wanted to come home to," Emmett said sadly.

"It might be wise to call your Father, Edward. I know they aren't able to provide security or financial assistance, but they might help with the media. After all, the quicker this is resolved the better for them. They wouldn't want the press to find out about Bella and draw their own wild conclusions." Carlisle drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he spoke. "Their reluctance to portray their real personal circumstances might work in your favour here."

Edward nodded. "I will, Carlisle, it's a good idea."

My parents, Esme, Alice, Jasper, and Rose were all waiting at our house for us to return. Mom and Esme looked worried and scalded Emmett for telling us as soon as we'd landed.

"It's such a shitty welcome home for you both," Mom said and gave us both a hug. "But you don't need to worry, the support you have from everyone is incredible."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, after the photos... a lot of people were concerned about the implications for the town. No one wanted press swarming around the place, so they've all but closed ranks around you. If anyone comes they will do their best to convince them their information is all bullshit." Dad smiled. "It might not make a huge difference but..."

"The support is welcome regardless," Edward agreed.

"Now, let's put that to one side for the time being. I want you to tell us all about your honeymoon," Esme gushed. "I'm so jealous. Ten days on your own private island."

"Just edit the sordid details," Mom added with a grin. "Your Father almost keeled over when the papers mentioned you two were 'sharing an intimate moment'. Although, I'm sure the ones we saw were tame in comparison to what could have been printed."

I giggled nervously and blushed. _If only they fucking knew what we'd actually gotten up to. It'll be a miracle if Edward has any sperm left._

"Jesus, Bella. Come on, I don't want to hear _that."_ Dad shook his head and walked away muttering, "Trying to kill me, I swear to God,"

It was nice to know that some things didn't change, even at times like this.

~x~

I didn't get much time to just hideaway and hope we'd be safe. I returned to work a few days later and, to put it mildly, it was fucking horrendous. Everywhere I went I was subject to sideward glances and whispers. Students, teachers, and even the fucking parents were all dying to ask me about anything Edward related. It was strange, because the majority already knew about us, but yet the pictures seemed to ignite their curiosity and it was beginning to take its toll on me.

So far, I had refused to answer questions about anything other than school work, and the kids were starting to piss me off.

"Right, does anyone have any questions?" I asked and sat on the edge of my desk. Every single hand in the room shot up and I sighed. "Okay, I'll rephrase... does anyone have any questions about what we've been discussing today?"

With a murmur of complaint, all the hands dropped bar one.

"Miss. Swan... I mean... Mrs... um... sorry... Can I just ask one thing?" a girl asked. "It's just this whole thing is really, really awesome..."

"What do you want to ask?" I relented, hoping that if I gave them some answers they'd leave it alone for the time being.

"Did he really give everything up for you?"

I sigh and shake my head. "No. It's a long and personal story for him to share... not me." I smiled. "Anyone else?"

"You met him when he was a prince though?"

"We were friends, yeah," I scoffed internally._ Friends, yeah right._

"_Did you want to be a Princess?"_

"_Did you meet the Queen?"_

"_Is James as good-looking?"_

"_Did you go to Buckingham Palace?"_

The barrage of questions freaked me out, and I answered as best I could and then told them that I was done. "Alright, that's enough. I have a job to do, so let's just get back to the subject we're supposed to be discussing."

Despite my protests, Edward still insisted on collecting me from work, and today he was there waiting for me as usual. He had been to work on one of Esme's properties; we were both trying to keep some sort of normality to our lives. Sitting at home would have left us both stewing over the constant stories and speculation.

"Things still crazy at school?" he asked as we drove home.

"Yeah, I feel like everyone's talking about me." I sighed. "I thought if I answered a few of the students' questions, it might appease them. But it was like throwing blood into the water to attract the little fish and then find the fucking sharks have come hunting."

Edward laughed and glanced in his rear view mirror, his face immediately falling into a frown.

"What?" I asked and turned around to look myself. I saw a dark SUV behind us.

"That car was behind me when I drove to school to pick you up," he said quietly. "I'm sure it's nothing... but perhaps we should call your Father. Just in case."

We didn't stop as we passed the entrance to our drive. Edward kept his speed just under the limit, clearly trying to encourage the trailing vehicle to overtake and appease our worries.

"We're driving to Port Angeles, Charlie," Edward said firmly. "I'll ring Emmett and have him meet us there." He gave Dad the number from the plates, and asked if he could run them.

"Sure, I'll call you right back. Drive slow, if they're not following you, they might overtake..."

"He's already doing that," I said.

"Be careful, and ring if they try anything... do you want me to come out after you?" Dad sounded concerned, his loyalties as a Father and doing his job both weighing heavily on his mind...

"No, they can argue they were just driving to Port Angeles, and if you pull them it will only raise more questions about your real motives," Edward told him. "The last thing we need is for them to make the connection with you and Bella. We've got no chance of keeping her out of all this if that happens."

After Dad hung up, Edward asked me to call Emmett. He arranged to meet us at a diner on the outskirts of Port Angeles.

"Who do you think it is?" I asked nervously, watching the car constantly.

"The press probably. Don't worry, Bella, they just want pictures of us." No matter our speed, the SUV never overtook. Instead, he or she maintained a constant distance from our truck and I knew it was definitely trailing us.

"Why don't you pull over?"

"They might not realize we've spotted them. If I stop out here in the middle of nowhere, they'll know and I'd rather try and fool them once we get to Port Angeles." Edward looked intense and his brow was furrowed as he spoke.

Dad called back and told us it was a rental, hired from Sea-Tac yesterday afternoon. "I'll make a call to Seattle PD and ask if they can get me the details... I'm sure they'd give me the professional favour if I explain. What's the plan in Port Angeles?"

"We'll switch cars if we can and drive back in Emmett's. Would you mind swinging by our house, and make sure no one's hanging around there?" Edward's question caught me off guard. The thought of someone loitering in the woods waiting to get a photo scared me to death.

"Sure, no problem. You okay, Bella?" Dad asked me softly.

"I'm fine," I lied, and I saw Edward look at me sadly.

After he hung up again, he reached over and ran his fingers down my face. "Bella, please don't worry, love. I'll fix this."

"How?" My voice wobbled. "They've found you already. They aren't just going to leave now they know this is where you live."

"I don't know how yet, but I will fix this. I promise." He grabbed my hand and kissed it. "I promise."

We found the diner and pulled up in a busier part of the lot. To my surprise the car didn't stop, it drove straight past.

"It didn't stop, Edward," I said excitedly.

"I'll bet he's turning around as we speak... he won't make it obvious and pull in here, he'll find somewhere to park where he can watch for us leaving." Edward pulled me from the car and strode quickly inside the diner.

It was a shitty little place, with just a few people inside. He slipped inside a booth in a private corner, and kept his face turned away from the waitress when she approached.

"Just coffee please," I said and she poured us two cups before drifting away, oblivious to Edward's presence.

"Now what?" I tried to disguise the taste of the really bad coffee with lots of sweetener. "This coffee is fucking rancid."

Edward laughed once and shook his head after he took a sip. "Yes, it really is. When Emmett arrives, you go back out with him and he can drive you home."

"I don't fucking think so, Edward. Either we all go back in Emmett's car, or we drive his, and he takes the truck. I'm not leaving your side." I folded my arms across my chest and glared at him.

"So fucking stubborn," he muttered. "I want to keep you safe, Bella. I want to keep you out of this, and whenever you're with me, they can find you."

"I'm your wife, I knew exactly what I was taking on, and you're not going anywhere on your fucking own. What if they're not reporters? Huh? What if they're from the Mafia, or the Mob or even Al-Qaeda?" My imagination went into overdrive with visions of Edward being kidnapped and held for ransom.

"The Mob? Really, Bella?" Edward smirked. "You're too fucking cute."

"I'm serious, Edward, I love you too fucking much to let anything happen to you. Until you know exactly what you're dealing with, I want you to be careful."

"Okay, I will." Edward's face softened and he squeezed my hands over the table. "God, I love you."

Emmett, Rose, and Jasper arrived about ten minutes later. Emmett cast a glance cautiously around the diner, before they all sat down with us.

"Did you see the SUV?" Edward asked and he nodded.

"Yeah, it's parked just down the road. They're in a nice spot to see as soon as you drive out of the car park," Emmett said quietly.

"What are you going to do?" Rose asked.

"Jazz can go back with Edward and Bella, in my car. You and I, Rose, are taking the nasty little fuckers on a tour of Port Angeles." Emmett and Edward exchanged keys. "We'll leave first and make sure they follow us. As soon as we're out of sight, Rose will text you and you leave. Go straight to Bella's parents."

I'd never seen this side to Emmett before. Even in London, he always seemed to take his responsibility of watching Edward with such a relaxed attitude. But now, he was assertive, organised and deadly serious. To know he had Edward's back reassured me completely.

"We'll probably stop somewhere, once you guys are home, and get out of the truck. Let them think they were following the wrong truck... or if they're smart, they'll know we pulled a switch. Either way, it gives you two a little room to breathe." Emmett stood up and looked around again. "As soon as we're clear we'll call you."

"Thanks, Em," Edward said sincerely.

"All those years of listening to Peter drone on and on have finally paid off." He grinned and held out his hand to rose. "Come on, Rose. Put your hood up, they can't see you're a blonde or this will never work."

"I feel like I'm part of a secret fucking mission," Rose said with a smirk. "I'll call you later, Bella."

We watched them as they left the diner, and drove away,

"So we wait?" I clarified.

"For now." Edward wrapped his arm around me. "We'll be out of here soon. God, I can't even begin to count the number of times we had to do this when I was still in London."

"Do you want me to drive?" Jasper asked. "You can sit with Bella in the back."

"That would be great, Jazz, thanks. As fast as you like." Edward winked and gave him the keys. "I won't tell Alice if you don't. Where is she anyway? I thought she would have been here in a flash."

"She wanted to, but her and Esme play such a big role in fund raising for the foundation, the press might recognize them. Emmett said it was too risky..." Jasper smiled. "They're trying to come up with a diversion as we speak. I dread to think what they'll come up with, she can be a little over the top sometimes."

My phone buzzed and I looked at it quickly.

_SUV is following us, Em says to leave now._

"Let's go." Edward threw some money down on the table, and pulled me quickly from the diner. His eyes scanned the car park and then we climbed into the car.

Jasper drove steadily out of the car park so not to draw attention to ourselves, and then as soon as we were on the highway he really put his foot to the floor. After about ten minutes, he called Rose and put her on loudspeaker.

Emmett's voice boomed down the phone before Rose had chance to say anything. "You guys okay?"

"Yes. There's no one following us. What about you two?" Edward asked.

Emmett laughed. "The suckers are following us all around the town. We're going to stop at the marina as soon as we know you're in Forks. Let them know they've been hoodwinked."

I heard Rose giggling. "I feel like a secret agent, Bella. _Hale, Rose Hale. Licence to kill."_

"Nah, babe. I'm the one who should be Bond. You can be the sexy female companion," Emmett objected.

"You're neither suave nor charming enough to be Bond. If anything, you're the dumb-ass sidekick who ends up getting shot," Rose scoffed, and they immediately began to bicker.

"We'll let you guys sort that out for yourselves," Edward said. "I'm hanging up now."

"They're fucking crazy." I shook my head. "But they've been great tonight."

"We certainly have good friends," Edward agreed.

The drive back to Forks was tense but fast. I couldn't bring myself tolook at the speedometer–the trees were hurtling past the window at a terrifying rate. Edward had me held tightly against his side, but he never relaxed. His eyes were constantly watching out of the rear window, making sure we had no unwanted guests.

My Dad called again with more bad news. "There was a car parked up at the bottom of your driveway. It was another rental from the same company, with one male driver. I asked for his ID and license and he's a British reporter by the name of Ben Cheney. According to his credentials he works freelance."

Edward sighed. "I know him. He's interviewed me before... he usually works all the palace events. He's got some pretty high connections. Damn it."

"I asked him what his business was in Forks, but he was very evasive. He said he'd had a problem with his navigation system and was trying to reset it. I moved him on, but I expect he'll be back." Dad's voice was sombre. "Where are you now?"

"About five minutes away. What was the car?" Edward asked.

"Dark blue Ford Taurus," Dad replied. "You two are coming here right?"

"Yes."

"I'll be here waiting. Just in case." With that Dad hung up.

As we passed our driveway again, Edward swore, "The fucking wanker is back already."

Jasper sped straight past, and Edward looked furious. "When we get to your parents, you go straight inside, Bella."

"With you..." I trailed off nervously. "You are coming with me aren't you?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm going to sort this out."

"Edward, did you not listen to me in the diner?" I began to protest but he cut me off sharply.

"Ben Cheney is a reporter, Bella. I've met him on several occasions. If he's found us, others will and I need to put a stop to the fucking hysteria."

"Don't be so fucking stupid, Edward," I hissed.

"Jasper will be with me, and Cheney won't try a thing. He wants me to talk remember? I'm not discussing this, Bella, nor am I asking for your permission. I want you to go inside and let me handle this." I had never heard him talk to me like this, and as much as my stubborn side wanted to argue, I didn't. Not this time.

"Fine," I muttered. "But, I want it noted that I'm not fucking happy. And Jasper, if anything happens to him, I will fucking kill you."

"He'll be fine, Bella. Don't worry about him." Jasper stopped outside my parents' house.

"Why can't I come with you?" I pleaded.

"Because I don't want them anywhere near you, love. Please, please, let me fix this. I need to make things right."

I watched him as he silently asked me to trust him. "Please be careful," I whispered, and kissed him. "Please?"

"I promise."

I slammed the door and walked straight inside.

"Where's Edward?" Dad asked when he saw I was alone.

"Fixing things." I growled.

"How?"

"I have no fucking clue, and I really don't want to think about it." I stomped into the lounge and sat down with Mom on the couch.

What on earth could he possibly do to fix this motherfucking mess? Whatever he had planned, I was praying to God it worked.

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><p><strong>AN - It had to happen eventually! What do you think Edward's going to do? I can tease you a little if you like, with a preview perhaps? **

**Thank you all for reading and blowing me away each week with your amazing reviews :) Love you all to bits x**

**Same applies to my prereaders Jaime Arkin & Prettyflour, for always working their magic. My beta Twifanmom has been on vacation this week and hasn't had chance to go over the chapter yet.**

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**Katy**

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	15. Chapter 14  Any Regrets?

**A/N - So what's he gonna do?**

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><p><span>Chapter 14 – Any Regrets?<span>

EPOV

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jasper asked me as we drove away from Bella's parents' house.

"I have to do something, Jazz. I just hope it works." I looked through the windshield as we approached my driveway and the car was still there. "Stop here."

As soon as the car stopped, I got out and walked toward the other car. Sure enough, Ben Cheney jumped out and scrambled to grab his phone, presumably to try and take a photo or film the exchange.

"Wait," I said and held out my hand to him. "Can we talk off the record for just a moment?"

He hesitated and cocked his head. "Why?"

"I want to try and come to an arrangement, Mr. Cheney." I waited for him to respond and he gestured with one hand for me to continue. "The black SUV..."

"With me," he replied simply, and I nodded.

"How did you find me?" I needed to know the answer first, because if I caught a break and he was the only one who had tracked me down, then maybe I could make this work to my advantage.

"Let's just say I have a source that I trust. They wouldn't say a thing until after you were spotted on Necker Island; after that they weren't quite so hesitant." He added, "Don't ask me who it is."

"I wouldn't."

"So what arrangement did you have in mind?" he asked inquisitively.

"You want the full story and I want to maintain my privacy above all else." I stepped closer to him.

"If you're asking me to walk away, I can't do that. You know how much I can make from this story, both financially and professionally." He shook his head.

"I know you wouldn't, but what if I give you the full story with one or two of my own stipulations?" His ears perked up at that. "It would be an exclusive. I'd talk to no one but you."

"Go on... what stipulations?" he asked cautiously.

"First, you don't reveal anything about where I live. Not the town, state, or even what country. I'd want you to purposely hint at other places to try and steer them away from here." He nodded so I continued, "Under no circumstances do you print photos or reveal who my wife is. She remains anonymous. That I insist upon."

"You will talk about her though? If I agree to those terms, you will answer any questions I have?"

"Depends on the question." I smiled. "But, you will have the full story from my perspective. Do we have a deal?"

Cheney held out his hand and nodded. After shaking hands I followed him to his car. "Jazz, follow us up the drive and could you let Bella know I won't be home for a while?"

"So this is home?" Cheney asked as I directed him to park in front of the garage. "It's nice."

"Yes, this is home, and I'm sure you can understand why it's important that I can stay here. We've built a damn good life and I don't want to jeopardize that." I looked at him seriously and he nodded.

I sat him at the kitchen table and made us some coffee, before joining him. "So, where do you want to start?"

"The beginning's as good a place as any." He pulled out a laptop and a small microphone. "Do you mind?"

"I'd rather it be a pen and paper," I told him and he laughed.

"This isn't the sixties. Besides, I have a feeling you're going to have a lot to say, and I don't like the idea of trying to decipher my notes when I'm trying to write up the story. I assure you I will be discrete and vigilant with the recording," he assured me. "Before we start, I'm not sure how I should be addressing you, is it Edward or do you still carry the HRH?"

"Edward is fine. The initial statement released by Buckingham Palace was accurate in that regard. I have no royal standing any more. I've changed my name and given up any claim to anything family-related," I said and he looked a little shocked.

"That was quite a drastic move," he mused. "Okay,_ Edward,_ what was the reason behind all of this? After the recent pictures, you can see why everyone is claiming it was for love. Was it?"

I shook my head and smiled wryly. "That would be quite the story, wouldn't it? But no, there was so much more to it than that."

"Go on..." he trailed off.

I blew out a breath and ran a hand through my hair. "I spent every day dreading what the future held for me, it's as simple as that. As much as I adored the British public and loved meeting them, knowing I would one day be their King hung over me like a dark cloud. I can confidently say I would not have been able to do it well. Since the day I was born every step was carefully plotted and I had no control over any of it."

I paused and tried to word the next part carefully. I didn't want to come across as a spoiled brat, but I wanted to try and explain how I really felt.

"I tried to force my parents' hand, and by acting in a less than appropriate way, I caused tension in the family."

"Inappropriate?" he pressed.

"Disruptive behaviour, involving myself with the wrong people... things like that. I didn't give enough thought to the repercussions, and yes, it caused a few heated discussions. I regret it now, of course. But at the time, I wanted to so badly change the course of my life; I was willing to try whatever I could." I saw Jasper listening carefully. He looked as interested in this as Cheney. "After university I was lost and it was only following the intervention of some other members of my family that I managed to steer myself back on track to a certain extent."

"But you still left? Why now?" he asked.

"I've just told you."

"You've given me the reason yes, but not the answer. Why now? Why not three years ago? Why not three years from now? Your wife?" He certainly was sharp minded and missed nothing. "I know her face. It took me a while to remember how, but I think I've figured it out."

I frowned and looked at him to elaborate. When he did, he turned his laptop around to show me a selection of photographs.

"Your Grandparents wedding anniversary. I was there, bored to tears... I never realised I'd caught the beginning of one of the biggest stories of my career." On the screen was a photo of the party. I was sitting at the table looking very glum, and my parents looked equally tense. In the far corner of the shot I noticed Bella. She was serving our table and it brought back all the memories of the night I found her. "Is that how you met?"

"Yes. That photo stays out of the press."

"You have my word." I believed him, rightly or wrongly, I believed him. "She's a waitress so I'm assuming she wasn't considered suitable?"

"Nothing like that," I said firmly. "At first she was a friend, a really great friend. When I spent time in her life, I felt at home. I found I could be the real me, as cliché as it sounds. I wasn't Prince Edward, I was just regular Edward, and I never felt more comfortable."

"But you're married now. She was obviously more than a friend."

"Bella left London a long time before anything happened. She had no idea of the change in circumstance until after it was done. I can't reiterate enough that she had absolutely no input into any of this. But admittedly, after she first left, the depression became worse. Having that brief interlude of living as just a normal man made me want it all the more. I can't thank my family enough for making this possible, this was their doing." I took a drink of my coffee and waited for the next question.

"Could she not have joined your family? Surely that would have been a far less drastic approach?" Cheney asked and I laughed.

"I'm sure had I asked my family that question, they would have made it possible. But I never wanted that life for myself, so it would have been wrong of me to ask anyone else to share it. To say I am content with what I've got here is quite the understatement."

"Have you spoken much to your parents or brother since you left London?"

I nodded. "As much as possible." Embellishing on the truth seemed appropriate. I needed to make sure all bases were covered. If the world got the full story then maybe they'd leave it alone and find someone else to hound. "Obviously it's difficult... trying to remain anonymous and maintaining personal long-distance relationships. But, they came to my wedding, they call, and there is no ill-feeling."

"What do you do? Do you work?"

"I feel it's important to assure everyone that I am not provided with any financial support. I was given the means to make a start, but after that it would be wrong of me to accept funds which would unavoidably have come from the taxpayers. I do manual work, I play the piano, and my wife works." I felt proud to say that. To let people know I wasn't sitting on my behind all day living off their hard earned money.

"I'm sure that's going to fuel a few fires." Cheney laughed. "If someone like you can go out and earn an honest living, why the hell can't all the benefit cheats that are screwing the system?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way. As hard as it is to believe, in this town I'm just an ordinary guy. My wife and I do the grocery shopping together, we clean, cook, and do any odd jobs ourselves. Our only car is older than I am, and we can't really afford to run another." I saw Jasper smile, as did Cheney. "I wouldn't change a thing... well perhaps in hindsight I would have been a little more observant whilst on my holiday and thus prevent this conversation ever having to take place."

"But at least now, people can hear your side of the story. The statement from the Palace was cagey to say the least. I'm sure you've seen some of the ludicrous stories that made it to press?"

"My favourite was the sex-change and move to Vegas. Very original. Did you write that one, Cheney?" I laughed and he did too.

"No. I read it and it was very amusing." He sat back in his chair and brought one leg over the other. "Can I ask about another personal relationship?"

"Which?" I quizzed.

"Shortly before you disappeared, there was a huge buzz that your engagement to Alastair Charles-Tanner's daughter would be announced. You had been seen meeting for lunch with your respective parents and Kate was seen in bridal boutiques and jewellery stores." He studied me as I thought about my answer. An honest one would draw yet more scandal to the family, but he'd see an outright lie.

"Kate and I were together for a very short period, a long time ago. Our Father's were friends and so our families mingled in the same social circles. I can't comment on the shopping excursions because I wasn't there." I stopped talking and Cheney smirked.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Didn't I? I thought I did." I winked, and surprisingly he let it go.

"What was Prince James' take on this? Your departure left him as second in line to the throne. Did that cause any arguments?"

"I will always feel so very grateful that my brother agreed to take on what should have been my responsibility. He says that he has no ill-feeling or reservations about it, and I have to take him at his word. I do know that he will make a truly great heir at some point. He is far more suited to that role than I ever was. He likes to remind me of that fact as often as he can," I added with a smile.

I heard a car pull up outside the house and looked to Jasper quickly. Before he could get outside, Emmett strode in with Rose and a very sheepish looking Bella behind him. "What the hell are you doing?" Emmett shouted.

"Mr. Cheney and I have struck a deal. My story for his discretion, Em. It's perfectly civil and gentlemanly."

"I assure you of that, Edward." Cheney's eyes landed on Bella and he smiled. "I don't think you were part of your husband's plans this evening."

"This changes nothing," I interrupt. "You print not a single detail about Bella. Not her name, age, nationality or profession. I will let you leave false clues which will discredit any other claims from other reporters with regards to our location. You will honour that?"

"Yes." He stood up and walked over to Bella. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Ben Cheney."

"You're the ass-hat who was sitting outside our property and sent a blacked out SUV to follow us?" Bella snapped, and he laughed.

"I'm sorry about that. I had to make sure it was an accurate report before I approached your husband."

"You people make me fucking sick. Do you have any idea how scared I was? A blacked out SUV... it could have been anybody. Everyone was racing around like headless fucking chickens to make sure he was safe. If anyone else finds out about him, if anyone else comes here and harasses him then you'll have me to fucking deal with." She glared at Cheney who was a little taken aback.

"And trust me, my friend is one feisty motherfucker," Rose added, and I grinned. "These two have got so many people watching their back you really won't know what's hit you if you take back your so-called word."

Poor Cheney found himself surrounded and I felt an overwhelming sense of pride as I watched the scene unfold. "I understand. The last I heard, there had been no other mention of Forks, or even Washington state. A girl in London came forward claiming to know your wife, but-"

"Who?" Bella asked.

"If I recall correctly, her name was Heidi, and she claimed you and she had worked together... she couldn't remember your surname, and told another tabloid you were Canadian, so I needn't worry about her." Cheney had managed to calm the others down. "A story like this doesn't come around very often, so I consider it somewhat of a privilege to be the one who gets to break it."

"Come and sit down, Bella." I patted the chair next to me. "Would the rest of you mind giving us some space? I don't really want to do this in front of a huge audience."

"Um... are you going to be long... only Dad's coming over in the cruiser and Carlisle's on his way too... they were all worried." Bella walked slowly over. "Sorry."

"I only have a few more questions and I'll be on my way," Cheney said and the others slipped quietly from the room. "That's quite a set of friends you have."

"Yes, as you can see I'm extremely fortunate." I held Bella's hand tightly underneath the table. "What are your final questions?"

"Will you ever return to London?"

"I hope to, but purely in the capacity of a tourist. It would be to visit my family and then I'd leave again. I love this life too much to ever truly miss the chaotic days I had before."

"What are your plans for the future? Have you given much thought to that, or given what's happened to you this past eighteen months, are you trying to live less rigidly?"

"Everything I need for my future I have already. If I were lucky enough, I'd love to have children at some point, but there's plenty of time for that," I said and felt Bella's legs begin to jitter. I'd just managed to freak my wife out.

"And would you openly tell them about your upbringing and then the staggering shift to this life?" Cheney asked some good questions.

"Definitely yes. I think our experiences make us who we are, and I'd want any child of mine to know why I am the way I am. It's nothing to be ashamed of, so I won't hide behind anything. I'm proud to have a family steeped in heritage, even if technically I'm not part of that anymore." I looked at him and said, "Is that it?"

"Just one more, if that's okay?"

"I get the impression you'd ask regardless." I smirked and he shrugged. "Ask away."

"Any regrets?"

"Yes."

Bella looked at me, her eyes wide and worried looking and Cheney frowned. "I lost too much time trying to find out who I was. As soon as I met the person who I loved and was happy for me to be me, I should have made the decision to be true to myself then. Instead, I put my family through the experience of seeing me lonely and depressed. I lost seven weeks of this life, and had it not been for those closest to me, I would have lost the chance altogether. If I were to get a do-over so to speak, that's the only thing I would change. Everything else would stay exactly as it is. I consider myself the luckiest guy on the face of the planet."

Cheney contemplated my answer for a moment and then began packing away his things. "Thank you, both of you, for sharing this with me. My source speaks only to me, and as far as I'm concerned no one else has even heard of this place. Should anything change, I give you my word I will warn you."

He picked up his belongings and extended his arm once again. "It really has been a pleasure."

"I wish I could say the same, but the fact still remains he wouldn't have even been talking to you had you not stalked us in the first place," Bella muttered.

"But to get what you want you have to go to certain extremes. Edward understands that more than anyone else." He looked at me meaningfully.

I did understand, but there was no way I was agreeing with him. Not in front of Bella anyway. I dodged the question and escorted him outside. I watched him drive away and although I felt nervous that I'd put faith in someone I didn't know, I knew I'd done the right thing.

"I told you to stay with your parents, Bella." I narrowed my eyes at her when she stepped to my side.

"And I didn't fucking listen. When do I ever listen, Edward?"

"So fucking stubborn." I shook my head. "No wonder your Mother smoked copious amounts of weed and your Father learned how to shoot a gun. I bet you drove your parents around the twist." I laughed and picked her up and threw her over my shoulder.

"Put me down, Edward." She struggled but I held her tightly.

"Well, I was going to carry you upstairs and take your _Canadian _ass straight to bed." I laughed and she snorted.

"That was Heidi; she got bumped from your table the night we met. Just think, if Tanya hadn't intervened we might never have met."

"Not a chance, Bella. I'd already spotted you; there was no way I'd have let the evening pass without finding some way of talking to you." I remembered Bella's parents were coming, as was Esme and Carlisle, so I sat her on the kitchen worktop and stood between her legs. "Would you have spoken to me?"

"No!" she said in horror. "I quite liked having my head attached to my body, imagine the reaction had I approached you. '_Yo, Eddie, do you want to come back to my shithole crib all alone and spend the night making me scream?'_ I would have been arrested and beheaded before you could even answer me."

"Your perception of my family is still quite troubling." I kissed her and murmured against her lips, "But don't ever change, because I don't think a day goes by without you making me laugh. You have no idea how much I love you."

"You just love my mouth," she said in mock disgust.

"Oh, baby, you're absolutely right. Your mouth is incredibly talented." I started kissing her again and her legs wrapped tightly around my waist.

"Christ, do you two ever stop? It's like my own personal horror story every time you're around. If it isn't my daughter's inner monologue blasting out, it's visuals such as this." We turned around to see Charlie standing in the doorway. "I blame you, Renee. We should have put her off all things male and sex-related until she was at least twenty. As a Father I should not be subjected to things like this."

He looked at me and opened his jacket to reveal his gun holstered at his side. With a point at the gun and then at me, he eyed me meaningfully. My dick went limp in a nano-second, and I almost knocked Bella off the counter as I tried to put some distance between us. Even though Bella was my wife, her dad still scared the motherfucking daylights out of me.

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><p><strong>AN Hope you liked Edward's idea? I'd love to know what you think :) **

**Thank you all so, so, much for reading, alerting, tweeting & reviewing - you're all wonderful! **

**As always Prettyflour, Jaime Arkin & Twifanmom worked their magic on this chapter.**

**See you next Sunday :)**

**xoxo**

**I'm totally in love with Head Over Feet by IamBeagle **

**If you want a fic which has a bit of a creepy twist you should read Cocktails At Eclipse by Twilightladies - this fic is grossly under reviewed - it's really, really good & steaming hot ;)**


	16. Chapter 15  He's Marrying The Ginger

**A/N Thank you so much to everyone who reads and for all your amazing reviews. The next few chapters do jump forward time-wise... I expect there to be 23 / 24 chapters in total so still some things to cover :)**

Chapter 15 – He's Marrying The Ginger Minger?

BPOV

Within twenty-four hours of the interview, Ben Cheney had secured deals with two large publications in the UK and the US. When news broke that Edward's story was to be published, Buckingham Palace was none too impressed with the prospect and refused to make any comment as to its authenticity.

The anticipation from the public was immense. Television, radio, and other media outlets all continued to run stories about the whole abdication, and for a while Edward and I worried the decision to talk to someone about it had been wrong.

Luckily for us, it seemed Ben Cheney had been the only reporter to receive an accurate tip that Edward did in fact now reside in Forks, Washington, and no more paparazzi ever came our way.

Edward received an email from Cheney with a copy of the interview before it went to press. He was true to his word, not one sentence was taken out of context and no answers edited to seem more dramatic. The only thing he had done was include his own interpretation of Edward's state of mind and appearance. He commented on how relaxed Edward was, how approachable, and he was obviously happy in his new life. I was never mentioned directly, Ben Cheney only referred to me as Edward's wife, and no pictures were published of us together.

The respective newspapers were huge sellers, and the interview became the primary focus for discussion all over the world. At first, the scrutiny seemed never-ending, and did nothing to alleviate our worries that we had done the wrong thing.

But, slowly, new stories broke and the hysteria surrounding Edward seemed to wane more with each passing day. Our lives began to return to the same kind of normality we had enjoyed before, and we worked, spent time together, and spent time alone.

Edward now had six students he taught piano to. Four were children of local residents; one was an elderly woman trying to achieve a whole range of different things before she was too old. Edward loved teaching those students, and I adored listening to him patiently trying to explain each chord and note. Then there was Mrs. Mallory.

At first, I had forgiven her flirtatious gestures. Most people reacted to Edward the same way, and he never did anything to encourage her, so I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately each week she persisted and it was pissing me off.

For one lesson in particular, she arrived looking like a motherfucking whore. She wore the tightest jeans I had ever seen. They rode so far up her ass-crack, that I honestly thought they must have been cutting her in two. The black top she had on was low-cut and tight, and her tits were spilling out everywhere.

I heard Edward sigh as she teetered towards him in ridiculously high stilettos. "Good morning, Mrs. Mallory." He kept his eyes everywhere but at her chest. "Are you well?"

"We'll have none of that Mrs. Mallory nonsense, thank you very much. Please, Edward, call me Lauren." She reached out to touch Edward's arm, and I almost blew my top.

I was jealous, make no mistake. _My_ husband, _my_ arm, and _my_ motherfucking Staff.

"Shall we get started?" Edward asked. Stepping to my side, he whispered, "Please come and rescue me with coffee or something. No more than ten minutes, Bella, please."

I nodded and kept my eyes on the slut as Edward placed a very deliberate kiss on my cheek.

"If you'll follow me, Mrs. Mallory." He walked ahead of her and up to his apartment.

I growled when I noticed she watched his ass the entire time she followed behind him. I stomped inside the house and set about making the coffee, resisting the urge to spit in it.

_Where the fuck is Demetri when you need him?_

I couldn't wait ten minutes. In fact it was barely five when I found myself standing at the foot of the stairs to the apartment, with the tray of coffees in my hand. I could hear the occasional sound of someone playing a chord on the piano which I could tell was Edward. Then I heard a fake and flirty giggle as slut played the wrong keys.

_Fuck this shit, I'm defending my territory._

I walked up the stairs as quickly as I could and saw Edward and Mrs. Mallory sitting beside each other on the bench. He was leaning as far away from her as he could, trying in vain to show her where to position her fingers.

"If you look at my hands," he said, an air of frustration in his voice.

"Oh, believe me, I'm looking... Your fingers are just so... long. It's no surprise you're so talented." She placed her hand on the back of his neck. "I can only imagine the things you can do with them... musically of course," she added with a wink.

"Oh, Mrs. Mallory, you have no fucking idea how talented those fingers are, and I'm not talking musically." I glared at her. Edward blushed and laughed nervously. "Here's some coffee, Edward. If you need anything else, just give me a shout, baby, yeah?"

I smiled as nicely as I could and then forced myself to walk away. Physically assaulting one of his customers certainly wouldn't help promote his growing reputation. I wandered around the garden and did my utmost to remain calm.

Each second ticked by slowly, but finally the hour was up and I heard Edward's voice grow louder as he left the apartment with Mrs. Mallory, hot on his heels.

"Same time next week?" she purred and Edward nodded uncomfortably. "You're such a wonderful teacher, Edward, I'll be sure to sing your praises at the salon."

"Thank you," Edward said politely and waved as she got into her car and drove away. He looked over at me and half-smiled.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered as he approached me. "I know I shouldn't have said that... but I couldn't help it."

"Don't apologize, Bella," he said.

"But she's paying you to teach her, Edward. I can't get all possessive like that." I shook my head and looked down to the floor.

"I fucking despised that lesson, Bella. The entire hour she was suggestive, and kept trying to touch me. I felt filthy accepting her money at the end of the lesson. I honestly don't think I can put up with another hour alone with her... but the money..."

"Fuck the money," I interrupted. "We managed perfectly well before, and I can't bear to sit here and know what she's trying to do." I bit down on my lip, but Edward immediately tugged it from between my teeth.

"Then I'll stop. I'll keep the others and just tell Mrs. Mallory, I simply don't have the time. Seriously, Bella, that woman scared the shit out of me." He grimaced and I smiled, he looked far too fucking cute.

"You look adorable," I said. "I'm sorry about the 'finger' comment. That was taking things a little too far."

"Are you kidding? That made me want to throw Mrs. Mallory down the fucking stairs and show you exactly how talented they are. I fucking love my jealous wife, and I've had a raging boner ever since."

I cast my gaze over his pants, and sure enough his dick was straining against his jeans. Subconsciously, I licked my lips and heard Edward groan.

"Not helping, Bella."

"What would help?" I teased and lightly traced my finger tips up one thigh and over the very impressive bulge. "What do you want, Edward? Whatever you want, just ask and it's yours?"

He blew out a shaky breath and whispered, "Your mouth... I want your mouth on me. Or your hand, I'll take anything I can get because I'm so fucking horny, love." He smirked and I giggled.

"Mouth it is then." So right there, still in the garden, I dropped to my knees and opened his pants, releasing him quickly.

His fingers toyed with my hair and he threw his head back as I teasingly dragged my tongue back and forth along his shaft, barely touching the skin. I could feel him trembling, and his breath was ragged, so I swirled my tongue around his tip, then took him as deep as I could.

"Oh, Jesus fucking Christ," he panted. "So fucking amazing. Shit, Bella..." His hands started to bring my head forward quicker, unwittingly trying to take control and I let him, because I knew he was close, and sure enough, he came with a feral snarl. "Fuck me."

"All better?" I asked smugly, and he laughed.

"Almost," he said breathlessly, and pulled me to my feet. "But first, I think you should let me remind you just how good my fingers are."

He kissed me and then immediately knelt in front of me. His hand ran up the inside of my thigh, and underneath my skirt, all while brushing his lips across my waist and hips. One of his fingers slipped inside my underwear and his forehead pressed against my stomach firmly.

"Fuck, Bella." He pushed two fingers inside me and I gasped, having to hold his shoulders to stay on my feet. His thumb pressed firmly on my clit. "I want to..." he started to say and then dipped his head.

Edward's free hand gripped the back of my leg and his thumb between my legs was replaced by his tongue. I looked down and watched as he flicked his tongue, sliding his fingers in and out simultaneously. I swear to God, it felt so good I was on the brink of forgetting my name. It was almost impossible to remain on my feet, and when my orgasm ripped through me, it left me speechless. I put all my weight onto Edward's shoulders as my body recovered.

"If that's what happens every time you get jealous, then perhaps we should reconsider the embargo on Mrs. Mallory's lessons." Edward made sure I was steady on my feet before he stood back up. "Because that was amazing, baby."

"Mm hm," I mumbled, and rested my head on his shoulder, feeling his arms wrap tightly around me. "So, so, so, fucking amazing,"

~X~

As it turned out, the money Edward was worried about losing when he cancelled future lessons with Mrs. Mallory was a moot point. Over the next few months, he began to immerse himself in playing, writing, and recording music. After much persuasion–which included withholding sex – I managed to persuade him to send some of his recordings to local theatres, recording companies and agencies. I knew how beautiful they were and was confident someone out there would be interested, and my confidence was proved right.

Rather than raise more publicity, Edward named himself Anthony Cullen on his correspondence to the companies, and to his astonishment one studio made contact to discuss using some of the pieces he had sent them.

They specialised in providing musical pieces for advertisements, short films, and television series. They liked Edward's work enough to commission one piece for use in an upcoming program. He would be paid a reasonable amount of money for releasing the composition, and then he would receive royalties each and every subsequent time it was used. It wasn't millions of dollars or anything close, but it wasn't the point, because I could see how delighted he was to have achieved something like this.

The day the program aired, Esme and my mom threw a small party to celebrate and we all screamed like idiots after we heard the music on the television.

After that, Edward found more and more offers came his way. He wrote backing music for recording artists, music for advertisements, and then he even provided the entire piano work for a film score.

The recording sessions took place in Seattle, so naturally, we were all very nervous for Edward. Emmett and Esme accompanied him and ensured that Edward's anonymity was maintained. The studio obliged and even granted him a closed set, so to speak, with only essential personnel being permitted on site during their meetings.

It was a small, low budget, movie produced by a small film company, and it was released straight to DVD, but it didn't matter. Again, the day the DVD was released we all sat and screamed like lunatics when Anthony Cullen appeared on the credits at the end of the movie.

Edward really was achieving things he had never thought he could, and the difference it made to him was amazing to see.

~x~

That first nine months after the wedding flew by, and soon we were staring Christmas in the face. This year, my Mom had insisted on cooking the dinner. Alice and Jasper were back in London with his parents, and Emmett was spending Christmas day with Rose at her parents, so room was no longer a plausible argument.

A lump of meat was revealed in the middle of the table and everyone looked at each other nervously.

"So what are we eating, Renee?" Carlisle asked cheerfully. "It looks like a nice well done piece of beef."

"Um... no. It's ham... I wanted to make sure it was cooked all the way through and sort of burned it," Renee said sheepishly. "But it's only the outside. Really, it's lovely and tender when you get through to the middle."

Bits and pieces of people's dinner went flying all over the table as we fought to cut through the meat. It was like cutting through a rock with a plastic spoon. To give Mom credit, she had cooked the vegetables to perfection, it was just a shame the meat sucked.

"Well you're absolutely right, Renee," Carlisle said with a smile after chewing on piece of ham for almost four minutes. "Once you get past the overcooked layers, the middle is quite lovely."

By the time I'd eaten an acceptable amount my mouth and jaw were killing me. There was no way Edward was getting a blowjob today, I doubt I'd be able to talk let alone open my mouth wide enough take that monster in.

"Jesus fucking Christ," my Dad yelled and slammed his head down onto the table. "You really have to get that fixed, Bella. Are you seriously trying to kill me?"

"I was only joking," I tried to argue, but no one believed me. "Sorry."

Edward spent the rest of dinner, cowering in his seat beside me, nervously looking at my father.

"Is it wrong that despite the murderous looks your father keeps giving me, I am so fucking turned on? Do you really think my dick's a monster?" he whispered in my ear as we helped clean up the table. "That really stroked my ego, love."

"Give me an hour to ditch these guys, and I'll do more than stroke your ego, baby." I slapped his ass and giggled as I left him standing in the kitchen trying to hide the enormous hard-on that was currently trying to explode from his pants.

~x~

We settled in later that evening to watch television curled up on the couch. At around ten o'clock, James called with his now traditional Christmas well-wishes.

"I have news," James said over the speaker, after we had exchanged the usual pleasantries. "Victoria and I are engaged."

_Sheesh, he's marrying the ginger minger?_

"What was that, Bella, I couldn't hear you?" James asked and I looked at Edward for help.

"She said congratulations, to both of you. We're really happy for you, it's brilliant news," Edward said quickly with a smirk in my direction.

"Yes, who'd have thought it?" James laughed. "We've got to confirm the exact date of course, but we're looking for some time in July," he added almost hesitantly.

"That will be lovely..." I trailed off when I saw Edward frown. "What?"

"I take it we're not invited?" he asked quietly.

"I'm trying, Edward, I really am, and Dad is too. You know how stubborn she is, and you really pissed her off with the interview. I tried making a point of telling her that you not being there would cause more questions... but so far she's not budging." James sighed, and I hit the roof.

"That stupid old battle-axe won't let Edward come to his _brother's_ fucking wedding?" I cried and Edward tried to reassure me it was fine. "It's fucking ridiculous. That old hag is just a fucking control freak... She's been top dog for too long now, and she's got a giant bug up her ass about making all the decisions. Well, I say fuck her! You should show up regardless, Edward, because what the fuck is she going to do? Have you escorted out of London? Bah, she'll do nothing which might cause a scene, snooty, upper-class, motherfucking bitch-"

Edward clamped his hand over my mouth and was smiling at me. In the background I could hear James laughing.

"Bella, you are one of a kind. Please, please, please can I have a recording of that exact statement so I can play it to her?" James continued to laugh and I blushed.

"Sorry, but she just riles me up."

Edward kissed me and said, "James, please don't make trouble for yourself. We knew this is exactly how she'd be."

"I'll try and grind her down, Edward, but..." James sighed.

"I get it, don't worry. I take it you're not eloping then?"

James scoffed, "That would be a no. Victoria likes the idea of St. Paul's Cathedral, and of course it's going to be televised – such joy!" he quipped sarcastically. "I'd much rather do it your way. That was such a good wedding."

"I can't say I envy you," Edward admitted. "But I'm sure it will be great regardless."

The chatted for a few more minutes and James continued to apologize before they hung up. Even now, two years later, the motherfucking battle-axe just couldn't let it go. The public, government, and the rest of Edward's family had all accepted it was for the best but she was clinging onto the grudge. Wasn't it about time she snuffed it? She had to be what, at least ninety-five right?

"Eighty-four," Edward said with a large grin on his face.

_Fuck me, again?_

* * *

><p><strong>AN Love & hugs to Twifanmom, Prettyflour & JaimeArkin for pre-reading & betaing, they're amazing! Teaser for next chapter if you want... see you next Sunday!**

**Recs this week:**

**In The Woods by Oprah Winfrey - Seriously under-reviewed fic & OMG I am totally hooked. It's definitely different to anything I've read but it's so motherfucking good!**

**Pressing My Luck by Shahula - Drabble fic posted & completed yesterday & it's Tattward... enough said. I love everything this woman writes :)  
><strong>


	17. Chapter 16  Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead

**Thank you so much for your incredible reviews. I can't thank you enough. One teeny, tiny, little, thing - ****please don't throw things at me after you finish...**

Chapter 16 – Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead

EPOV

It had been six weeks since Christmas, six weeks since James had called to tell us about his engagement, and the upcoming royal wedding hysteria seemed to have gripped the world. The date was set for July 9th, the venue was St. Paul's Cathedral followed by a formal reception at Buckingham Palace. Then, after the formalities were over, a more private party for just close friends and family was to be held in the Palace.

All over the world, people were planning so-called wedding parties, street parties, and fêtes in celebration. It would be watched by millions all over the world on television and that figure included Bella and I.

In addition to myself, the entire Cullen family was being shunned. Probably some form of revenge for Esme's early involvement in my abdication. James was trying, he called me regularly to make sure I knew just how hard both he and my father were trying to change Grand-bitch's mind, but so far no luck.

Already, there was a wide range of memorabilia available to buy. Plates, cups, handkerchiefs, flags, and even keep-sake coins.

"Fuck me, she's almost as pale as the damn plate," Bella said, as we saw some on the display at our local grocery store.

I chuckled. "Just think, had things worked out differently, that could have been your face on crockery and flags."

Bella half-smiled and added wryly, "And had it not been for your father, it would have been Kate's face and not mine." She sighed. "You just know I would have been arrested for criminal damage had I seen _that _on display."

We didn't buy a plate, flag, or anything else, instead we continued down the aisle in silence.

"Do you think we would have ever seen each other again... after...?" Bella asked quietly.

"Initially, I would have said no. My good intentions were to let you be. I didn't want to drag you along in the shadows like Maggie has had to for all these years." I took a breath and added, "But, essentially I'm a selfish creature, and I honestly don't think I'd have been able to stay away. I'm sure I would have found a viable reason for a state visit to Forks, Washington."

"As much as I was miserable at home without you, I said to Mom that I didn't want to be a part of that life either. But that day you turned up at school, I knew then that I'd take you anyway I could," Bella whispered.

"Even as a Prince?" I scoffed, but when she didn't answer I frowned. "Bella?"

"Honestly, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't have chosen that life... but it was being with you that mattered." She looked remorseful. "I guess I fucked up your family just so I could live a life out here in shitty Forks, huh?"

I stood in front of her and held her face in my hands. "Bella, I wouldn't change a thing. Not a single fucking thing. I love shitty Forks. I love the crappy weather and our rusty old truck. I love our house, the fact I get to make my living playing piano, and that I get to spend every day with you."

"But because of this life you don't get to go to James' wedding," she muttered.

I shrugged. "I'm upset that I'll be missing it, of course I am, but it's just one day, love." I kissed her chastely on the lips, only to be interrupted by someone ramming their cart into ours.

"Look at these two, they can't even manage a trip to the grocery store without getting it on," Emmett guffawed and I saw him and Rose standing grinning at us.

"Hey guys," I said and then pointed to the display we had just passed. "Have you seen that?"

"Oh yeah, there's some really nasty shit. I was just saying that our little Bella would have looked much better than Victoria," Rose said.

"But if that had been the case, they would have needed a speech bubble with 'Kneel, motherfuckers, I'm gonna be your motherfucking Queen!' coming from Bella's mouth," Emmett added and winked.

Bella giggled and wrapped her arms around my waist. "You're such a motherfucking ass, Emmett."

~x~

"Edward," Bella whispered in my ear, and her hand trailed down my stomach to caress my dick. "Are you awake?"

"No." I chuckled. "I'm fast asleep. Ssh."

"That's too bad, I was feeling quite awake myself..." she trailed off and began to move her hand.

I grabbed it and put it back where it was. "Now, now, let's not be too hasty. I'm sure with a little persuasion I could be roused."

She giggled and pressed her lips against my back. "How can I _rouse_ you, I wonder?"

Hoping for her to work wonders with that hand, or maybe even her mouth, I smirked in anticipation. But instead, Bella began tickling my side with her free hand. Her nails dug into my skin and had me squirming for a different reason than I'd been expecting.

"Stop, Bella... please," I cried in between fits of laughter. "Please, okay, okay, I'm fucking roused."

She stopped and sat up with a huge grin on her face. "You're so fucking cute when you giggle like that."

"You're in so much trouble for tickling me, Mrs. Cullen," I warned and launched myself at her, repaying the favour.

She squealed and tried in vain to stop me; I pinned her to the bed and tickled her as she begged me to stop, "No, baby, please stop... I'm sorry, I was just horny, and I just wanted you to wake up."

"Well you succeeded, love." I kissed her. "Now I'm awake and very fucking turned on, so prepare yourself." Her eyes twinkled and she bit down on her lip. "Turn around and get on your knees, baby."

She did as I asked straight away and she looked over her shoulder watching as I moved close behind her. I teased her entrance with my dick, and we both groaned as I pushed inside her.

"Fuck," I hissed and started moving my hips back and forth.

"Harder, Edward, please..." Bella gasped and gripped onto the back of the bed as I slammed into her from behind. "That's so fucking good."

I held onto her hips and groaned at just how amazing she felt like this. My goddamn phone interrupted the sound of our bodies slapping together and the squeaking bed. I tried to ignore it, but the interruption slowed my movements.

"Don't you dare fucking stop, Edward," Bella growled.

"It's after one in the morning, baby. No one would ever call at this time unless it was an emergency," I panted and got up to retrieve my phone from the floor beside the bed. "It's a blocked number. Hello?" I answered.

"Edward?" My father's voice sounded strained, upset even?

"Yes... is everything okay? You're calling rather late." My stomach tensed and I knew everything wasn't okay.

"Edward, I am sorry to have to tell you this over the phone, but I wanted to speak to you in person. The news will break soon enough and I didn't want you to find out another way..." he paused and I heard him take a deep breath. "Your grandmother passed away this afternoon."

"What?" I asked, "How?"

"She hadn't been feeling herself, but thought little of it. It was at lunch when she first complained of chest pains; we called the doctor immediately, but she collapsed before he arrived." I could hear his voice falter. "He wasn't able to revive her."

"She's gone?" I whispered and Bella's eyes widened in shock.

"Edward, what's happened?" she croaked and crawled into my lap.

"She's dead... the Queen... she's dead," I stammered.

"Oh my God, fuck." She grabbed my hand tightly and squeezed it.

"I am so sorry," I said to my father, "Is there anything I can do? Anything at all?"

"We are preparing the statement as we speak, it should be released within the hour. I expect the funeral to take place by next Wednesday. I would like you to be there, Edward. I know you two hadn't spoken, but I think it is important to show a unified front at a time like this." He spoke assertively, and as much as I didn't want to return to London, I knew it was something I had to do.

"Of course. I'll make arrangements immediately," I said, and then something struck me. He was King. A long standing tradition had been instilled into me. "Long live the King," I whispered and Bella gasped.

"Thank you, Edward. I should go—I need to call a few more people. Let me know your travel itinerary and I will try to provide as much assistance as I can." After a brief pause I heard him sigh down the phone before saying, "Goodbye."

After he hung up I sat in stunned silence on the bed. She was really dead. My grandmother was dead. Sixty years on the throne, sixty years ruling the country and being an icon to people all over the world, and now she was gone.

"Edward, baby, are you alright?" Bella held my face and looked intently into my eyes. "Talk to me."

"It's just... I can't quite believe it," I whispered and she wrapped her arms around my neck. "My father is King."

"Already?" she asked.

"As soon as she died he assumed the throne," I told her. "I should call Esme. They're releasing the news soon."

Bella pulled on her robe, and sat by my side as I called Esme. I felt unbelievably guilty, because I didn't cry. I knew we'd never been close, and I'd never had a normal relationship with her, but surely I should feel something?

Did that make me as bad as she had been?

The following morning, I insisted Bella go to work while I remained at home to sort out the flights and accommodation in London. She drove the truck herself, and within five minutes of her leaving, Esme and Emmett arrived.

We watched in shock as news stations ran story after story about the death of the Queen of England. All eyes were on Buckingham Palace and the Royal Standard now flying at half mast.

My father was now HRH King Edward IX, and had it not been for his actions I would right now be first in line to the throne. The relief I felt because that was no longer the case, overshadowed any feeling of guilt or grief.

Esme opened my laptop and began looking through departing flights. "I can get us five seats on American Airlines from Sea-tac to O'Hare, and then they have a connecting flight to Heathrow. We should be there for late Saturday evening, UK time."

"Five?" I asked and she smiled.

"You and Bella can hardly go alone can you? Carlisle, Emmett and I will be there for you, Edward. Now, do you have any preferences as to hotels? The Goring is located relatively close to Buckingham Palace, and they are used to catering for high-profile guests."

"That's fine. I'd like to keep Bella out of this as much as possible," I told her. "And I doubt she'd like the idea of staying at the palace."

Flights booked, and hotel reservations made. I called my father and he made arrangements for a car and security detail to meet us at Heathrow when we landed. I set a bag on the bed for each of us and began putting my clothes into one of them. I was still packing when Bella arrived home from work.

"Already?" she asked when she came upstairs. "When's the funeral?"

"Wednesday," I said and then smiled. "It's going to be really strange going back to London. I'm so fucking nervous already."

"You'll be fine, Edward. Your family will be there, and for once in your life, everyone won't be looking at you." She walked over and kissed me. "What time's the flight?"

"We fly at two tomorrow afternoon. Esme has booked our flight to return Thursday, so you'll only miss a week of school." I felt her stiffen and she pulled back.

"What?" she asked. "I thought I would stay... I mean... I can't..."

"You can't what?" I asked sharply. "You didn't think I'd leave you here did you?"

"Well, yeah, I did. I have work, Edward, and if I go with you to London, everyone will see us together-"

"Tell me you're fucking kidding, Bella." I shook my head in disbelief and stepped away from her. "Do you not think that this is something where I might need the support of my wife?"

"Edward, don't be like that. I just can't..." she argued feebly. "I have a job, Edward. You know, the thing we need to pay our bills. Besides, do you really think your grandmother would have wanted me there?"

"But I want you there, Bella!" I shouted angrily, and she flinched. "I can't believe you're using your damned job as an excuse, Bella. You know I've earned enough these past few months to make sure our bills get paid. It's just a job, Bella. You could get another job..."

"But what about our life, Edward? After the honeymoon it was fucking awful, why would you want to voluntarily put us through that again? I mean, what the hell was the point in doing that interview with Cheney, and insist on my anonymity if you were just going to drag me into the limelight less than a year later?" She looked at me accusingly, and I felt crushed.

"So, it's not really about your job, at least have the guts to tell me the truth, Bella," I said quietly.

"It's not _just_ about work, no. I love my life with you, Edward, and I'm fucking sorry if I don't want to ruin that by going to the funeral of a woman I never spoke to. A woman who made your life a fucking misery for the most part. I won't let her ruin our lives after she's fucking dead." She folded her arms and shook her head. "You may as well have just let the paparazzi find us last year and get it over with. There really was no point in doing that fucking interview was there?"

"At the time I thought I was doing the right thing by us, Bella. But, things change, we of all people should understand that. Right now, Bella, I just expected my wife would be there for me when I needed her." I grabbed some more clothes and began stuffing them into my case. "But, I guess that's just too fucking difficult for you to do."

I wrestled to fasten the zipper and dragged the bag off the bed. "I'm so fucking angry with you, Bella. I would do absolutely fucking anything for you, and all this time I assumed you would do the same. How fucking wrong was I?"

I stormed from the room, leaving her standing dumbfounded and silent. I got my wallet and passport from the kitchen and slammed the door behind me so hard, the glass panes rattled. I threw the case into the back of the truck and turned to look back at the house. Bella walked out onto the porch.

"Don't go, Edward... not like this," she whispered and her voice almost broke my resolve. "Please."

"I can't right now, Bella. I'm going to stay at Esme's, I'll just see you when I get home," I said coldly and didn't look back as I drove away.

My knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly. I drove erratically to Esme's and screeched to a halt outside the house. My phone was ringing, Bella of course, but I couldn't speak to her. I switched off my phone and went into the house.

"Edward? What are you doing here? We don't fly until tomorrow?" Esme asked.

"Bella and I had a fight. Would you mind if I spent the night here? I don't want to be at home," I asked.

"Of course, sweetheart. But perhaps you and Bella should talk about whatever it is now, it will be a long flight if you two still aren't speaking," Esme suggested.

"Bella's not coming to London, Esme. That's why we fought," I told her. "She doesn't want to come."

"Oh," she said quietly. "I see."

I resisted the urge to turn on my phone and see if Bella had called again. Skulking around the house, I replayed the fight in my head. We'd never argued like that before. Any disagreements were usually about silly little things, and I always backed down because I'd do just about anything to make it right between us. But not this time. I needed Bella, I needed my wife; she had no idea how scared I was about going back to England, but she never once stopped to think about that.

"Have you called her yet?" Emmett appeared in the lounge. "Mom told me you two fought about London. I thought I'd come over here and drill some sense into that head of yours."

"No, Em, I haven't, and I'm not going to. I'm too fucking angry to speak to her now, if I do, I know I'll say something I'll regret and make things worse." I sat forward and ran my hands through my hair.

"Fair enough," he said and sat down beside me without another word.

A little before ten, Emmett's phone rang. "Hey, Bella," he said quietly.

I shook my head, mouthing, "No."

"He's in bed, Bella," Emmett lied really badly. "I'll ask him to call you before we leave tomorrow. Let him sleep on things, you both got a little carried away. I'm sure by the morning he'll be banging down the door to apologize."

_Not likely._ I thought to myself and gave Emmett a dirty look.

"You should call her, Edward. She sounded really fucking upset," he said after Bella hung up.

"No, Em. She made her feelings perfectly clear earlier. To be brutally honest I've got far too much shit to think about right now, I don't need her selfish drama on top of all that. We can talk when I get back." I stood up and sighed. "I'm going to take a shower and then I'm going to bed. See you in the morning."

I trudged wearily upstairs, and after a long shower I climbed into bed, utterly lost without my wife curled up beside me.

* * *

><p><strong>Do I need to go into hiding? Please don't get out your pitchforks... because I hate nasty endings like this I am posting the next chapter early - probably on Tuesday or Wednesday. Makes it a little better right?<strong>

**On a separate note we can all sing Ding Dong Grandbitch is Dead! I've been dying to kill that snooty old shithead for ages :D **

**Thanks as always to the amazing amazing prettyflour, Jaime Arkin & TwifanMom. **

**I will happily send you a quickie peek at the next chapter, **

**Thanks for reading you guys... **

**Katy**

**xoxo**


	18. Chapter 17  The Porch Creeper

**Hope you enjoy & all is forgiven?**

Chapter 17 – The Porch Creeper

BPOV

I watched as he drove away, feeling torn in two. Part of me wanted to yell and scream at him for not understanding my point of view, and the other half wanted to race after him just to make things right, regardless of who was in the wrong.

Not once had we fought like this, and I'd never seen him so angry with me. In fact, I'd only ever seen him this angry once, and that was with that creep at the rugby match. Tears rolled down my face, my chest ached, and I walked slowly back into the house.

How could he think I wouldn't do anything for him? Of course I would, we just needed to be mindful of other things. Together we had built a great life, and after last year, having been faced with the reality of what could happen when people discovered where Edward lived, I wasn't sure I wanted to risk that again. We had bills to pay, and yes, right now, Edward was earning enough to cover those and then some, but his work wasn't regular and it came with no guarantees. If I followed him to London, I risked losing my job and we couldn't afford that. That was a valid reason, the responsible reason, and Edward should have been more mature when he interpreted my actions as being selfish.

I hated being alone, but I didn't know whom to call. Angela and Jess had gone into Seattle for the day, and I hated to involve Rose. She would tell Emmett, and it wasn't fair to expect either of them to take sides. Rose would be there for me and obviously, Emmett would be there for Edward; I didn't want to be the cause of any friction between them, so I called the one person who I knew would be on my side, one person who I could rely on.

"Mom, could you come and pick me up?" I sniffed down the phone. "Edward and I just had a huge fight and he left in the truck."

A matter of minutes later, I heard a car roll up the drive and saw my mom and dad pull up in the cruiser. She ran straight into the house and gave me a big hug. "What did you two fight about, honey? I don't think you've ever really fallen out, have you?"

"He's so angry, Mom. I've never seen him like that before. He started yelling at me because I said I wasn't going to London with him." I looked up expectantly, waiting for their show of support, but it never came.

"You're not going?" Mom asked. "Why not?"

"Shit, there are so many reasons, Mom. I have work, the bills, our privacy, and surely it's a little inappropriate for Edward to flaunt me around in front of everyone at a time like this. The country will be mourning the death of the Queen, for God's sake," I said.

"But, Bella, Edward needs you there," Mom argued and I laughed petulantly.

"I can't believe you're siding with him?" I huffed. "You're actually taking his side in this?"

Mom was about to say something when Dad interrupted. He looked surprisingly angry and his expression intimidated me slightly.

"I'm really disappointed in you, Bells," he said softly.

"Why?" I croaked.

"That man gave up _everything_ for you—his family, his money, his future, practically his whole damn life and followed you to a new country and had to start again."

"That wasn't just about me-"

Dad cut me off sharply, "Maybe not at first, sure, but he would never have done it had he not met you." He sighed and sat down at the table. "Bella, not once these past two years has he asked a single thing from you. Look at this from his perspective. The first time he needs something from you—you tell him no."

"But, I was only thinking... about..."

"You," Mom said quietly, and I dropped my head.

"Bells, had Edward acted out of line, you know I'd gladly pull my gun on the guy to defend you," Dad said with a smile. "I actually feel for him. He's got to go back to the place that made him miserable for all those years, and pretend to be a part of it all over again. I don't think it's too much for him to ask you to be there to hold his hand."

I felt so fucking ashamed. Dad was right, Mom was right, this wasn't about me. This was all about Edward and what he needed. I was such a selfish bitch.

"Your dad's right, honey. As hard as it is and as much as it could affect things here, you have to do this for him." Mom squeezed my arm. "Sometimes you have to deal with things you don't like."

"Everyone loves the good times, Bells, and hopefully you get a lifetime of those. But, it's how you handle the not-so-good times that really make your marriage work." My dad glanced at my mom. "Your mother and I made that mistake and look what happened to us? At the end of the day, Edward needs to know that if the tables were turned, you'd do the same for him that he did for you."

"Of course I would. I just... I..."

"If you would, then I suggest you get your ass up those stairs and pack your bags," Dad said firmly and then blew out his cheeks. "Right, now I need a beer. Would you grab me one, Renee? I hate the heavy shit."

Renee smiled and walked over to the refrigerator. I stood there contemplating just how heartless I had been. Mom came to my side and said, "Want me to help you?"

I smiled. "Yes please."

~x~

Dad was working the graveyard shift tonight, and they only agreed to leave after I told them I would call Edward and sort this mess out. I did try to call Edward, over and over again. I left voice mails, sent text messages but he never answered a single one. I didn't want to put Esme in a difficult spot by involving her, so I called Rose to ask if she could reach him instead. She told me Emmett had gone over to Esme's so I called his cell.

Of course, Edward refused to talk to me, so I begged Emmett to tell him how sorry I was and asked if he could try and get him to ring me back. Emmett said he would and suggested we both sleep on it. But I couldn't sleep on it, and I watched my phone waiting for him to call, however, after another two hours, I had still heard nothing. I simply couldn't go the whole night without speaking to him, so I pulled my bag along behind me and walked to Esme and Carlisle's home. It took me a while, and it was well after two in the morning when I arrived. The entire house was in darkness except for the light by the doors. I looked up to the windows and sighed. I didn't have a fucking clue which room Edward would even be sleeping in.

"This is so fucking stupid," I muttered, and dumped my bag by the back door.

Somehow, I managed to scramble up the side of the wrap-around porch and onto its very creaky roof. I stepped carefully across the wood and peered in through the first window I came to.

"Oh my God, gross," I squealed when I saw Carlisle's very naked ass, bopping away on top of a very exposed Esme. "I'm so going to fucking hell for this shit."

I moved away as quickly as I could, but my foot slipped on the damp, slippery wood and I almost fell. The porch creaked loudly, and I froze on the spot. I waited for several minutes, to make sure I'd not drawn attention to myself, but I could hear the moans and groans coming from the room I'd just looked into, so I assumed the coast was clear.

I sighed in relief and continued on my crazy mission to find Edward. At the next window, I saw Emmett's huge form in the bed, snoring like a chainsaw.

"Come on, Edward, where the fucking hell are you?" I hissed, "Last motherfucking room no doubt."

I made my way slowly around the corner of the house, feeling parts of the wood bend under my weight. This was such a bad fucking idea. Why didn't I just knock on the fucking door? I was just approaching another window, when I heard sirens ringing out in the night air.

I flattened myself against the house and prayed the darkness would keep me hidden from view while the police cars passed the house. To my horror, the cars didn't drive past, the flashing lights turned up Carlisle and Esme's drive and approached the house. Peering around the corner of the house, I saw my dad step from one car and Paul Lahote from the other.

"Oh shit," I growled.

"I think there's someone creeping around outside, Charlie." Carlisle walked out to meet my dad, thankfully now he was dressed. "Maybe paparazzi or a burglar? We've heard footsteps and whispering."

"Well, we'll take a look around, Carlisle, is Emmett with Edward... just in case?" my dad asked cautiously.

"Yes, I thought that was best," Carlisle answered.

"Lahote, you go left, and I'll go right." Dad pulled out his gun and flashlight as he and Paul set off patrolling.

I was fucked. Why the hell didn't I just call out the second the cops arrived? I decided to try and get inside through one last window before I announced I was the criminal they were searching for.

I tried lifting the window, but it was stuck. Hoping it was just stiff, I tugged on it as hard as I could, but unfortunately, my fingers slipped, and I lost my footing. I stumbled backwards and cried out, "Oh shit!"

"I've got eyes on the perp, Chief." Paul's voice came from behind me as I fell, completely unable to stop myself.

I screamed again as I tumbled backwards off the porch, bracing myself for the inevitable pain that would come when my back struck the floor. I heard a grunt, and instead of hard concrete, I collided with another body, which took the brunt of my fall.

I was a little disoriented and couldn't focus enough to get to my feet. I was vaguely aware of someone struggling beneath me, trying to shift my weight off them. I heard footsteps approaching, and then a voice barked, "Freeze. Put your hands where I can see them?"

It was my dad and I screamed as he pointed the gun in my direction.

"Don't fucking shoot me, Dad. It's me, Bella!" I held up my hands and waved them furiously.

Dad shone the flash light in my face and I heard him groan. "Bella? Jesus Christ, what the hell are you doing?" he said, sounding utterly exasperated. "Lahote, are you okay?"

"Yes, Chief, but perhaps Bella could get off me?" Paul sounded muffled, and I shrieked in embarrassment when I realised I was almost sitting on his face.

Dad held out his hand and helped me to my feet. "Are you hurt?"

"No," I admitted sheepishly. "I'm sorry if I scared everyone."

"Why in God's name were you trying to break into Carlisle's house, Bella?" he asked as Carlisle and Esme came around the side of the house.

"Bella?" Esme gasped. "What's going on?"

"Nice, Bella, I didn't know you were a peeping tom by night." Emmett laughed. "Maybe I should have gotten you night-vision goggles for Christmas."

"I'm really sorry, Esme. I just needed to see Edward, and he wouldn't talk to me," I mumbled, my cheeks feeling like they were on fire. "I didn't think you'd hear me."

"We didn't. It was Edward who called the police," Carlisle said, and I blushed even more.

_Of course you didn't hear me, you randy buggers._

"I didn't hear that, Bella, what did you say?" Dad asked and I shook my head.

"Nothing... not a peep."

"Maybe, I should leave, Chief?" Paul said. "Unless, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen plan on pressing charges?"

"Of course not," Carlisle said, with a smirk. "I'm sorry to drag you out here for nothing, fellas."

"Sorry," I said again and turned to Paul. "Thanks for breaking my fall."

"Yes, thank you, Officer." Edward's soft voice came from behind me. "I dread to think what might have happened had you not been there."

I turned around to look at him nervously, and he smiled at me. Not a forced, uncomfortable smile; it was his signature crooked grin and it made my chest ache.

"No problem." Paul dusted himself off. "But perhaps next time, you could use the door, Bella?"

"Get yourself back to the station, Paul. I'll be along shortly." My dad rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "Bella, are you staying here, or do you want me to drive you home?"

I looked at Edward hopefully. "Um..."

"She's staying," he said, keeping his eyes on mine.

~x~

After Dad and Paul left, everyone went inside, leaving Edward and I sitting on the porch silently. I wanted to close the distance between us, I wanted to hold his hand and make everything right between us. After what seemed like hours of neither of us saying anything, I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Edward, I'm so, so sorry for how I acted and for what I said. I was being so selfish." I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. "I love you, and I _would_ do anything for you. Absolutely anything at all. I was just scared that our life would change, but I am coming with you. I have my bag packed and I won't let you go without me. Please, please forgive me?"

Edward chuckled and said, "Bella, you tried to break into my Aunt's house just to get me to talk to you. How on earth could I stay mad at you after that?" He unwrapped my arms from around my legs and took my hands in his. "I'm sorry, too. I should never have lost my temper like that with you. Forgive _me_?"

I jumped into his lap and began kissing him furiously. "I love you. I love you enough to risk my life falling from the porch and to risk getting arrested for breaking and entering."

He laughed and asked, "Did you even know which room was mine?"

"Not a fucking clue," I admitted. "I just wandered around peering in through windows. Not my wisest decision, based on what I saw."

"Why?" Edward asked, still laughing at me.

"Did you not wonder why Carlisle and Esme didn't hear me creeping around?" I said and he pulled a face. "Oh yeah, I saw far more than I would have liked. It was so fucking gross."

"God, I love you," he whispered. "And I'm so glad you're coming, I really don't think I could get through this without you."

"Well, I'll be at your side the entire time. I promise I will be every time you need me." I kissed him again and let him pull me to my feet.

"Come on, let's go to bed. I think we'll be sure to close the curtains though... just in case." He winked.

We never actually made it inside the house, let alone into his room. I had a brief flicker of guilt that I was going to have sex with Edward on Esme's porch, after I'd scared the family half to death, but as I was about to discover, make-up sex was fan-fucking-tastic.

Edward pinned me against the door and set about removing my pants and underwear. His mouth attacked my lips, neck, and anywhere he could find bare skin. I pushed his sweatpants down and held onto his neck as he lifted me up. With my legs wrapped around his waist, I thumped my head against the wooden door as Edward slid inside me. The chill outside, the excitement of being caught, and the emotions in the air following our argument heightened the sensation and I couldn't keep quiet.

"Fuck me, Edward," I moaned as he rolled his hips, grinding into me.

"Believe me, I'm going to, Mrs. Cullen," he growled in my ear and I turned into a ball of goo.

And _fuck me_ he certainly did. The door banged against the frame as he slammed me back against it over and over again. One of his hands braced himself against the side of the house, and the other squeezed my ass tightly. I could feel his teeth grazing and nipping the skin on the side of my neck.

It didn't take long before I came, I couldn't keep myself from screaming, and I couldn't bring myself to care that someone could hear us. With a few more hard and so fucking deep thrusts, Edward bit my neck hard and then stilled inside me.

"Oh my fucking God, Edward," I panted. "Why have we never fucking argued before?"

He chuckled and rested his head on mine. "It certainly is an interesting way to end an argument, Bella."

It took us a few minutes to catch our breath, but then Edward scooped me up into his arms and carried me upstairs. We took a shower together, carefully washing each other and making sure there was nothing left unsaid between us. Then, we climbed into bed and curled up together. I was far too wound up to sleep. The thoughts of London, the press, the public, Edward's family and god only knows what else were racing through my head at ninety miles an hour.

A lot could have changed for us by this time next week. But, I refused to shy away; I would be there because my husband needed me.

* * *

><p><strong>I know this was silly, but I just couldn't get the idea out of my head. <strong>

**Thank you for reading, reviewing, alerting, adding to your faves and of course not pitchforking me after the last chapter :D **

**So... it's back to London they go! Want to peek at the chapter?**

**Jaime Arkin, Prettyflour and Twifanmom are so amazing with this and don't shout at me for my britishisms that make no sense, and for my comma's that seemingly take on a life of their own! **

**I will try my best to post again on Sunday. Enjoy the rest of your week.**

**TTFN,**

**Katy**

**xoxo**


	19. Chapter 18  A Queen's Funeral

**So it's time to go back to London!**

Chapter 18 – A Queen's Funeral

EPOV

As anonymous as I had been in Forks, that luxury didn't apply on our arrival in Seattle. The airline did try their best to keep us away from the majority of people in the terminal, but inevitably as we checked-in, we were subject to sideward glances, not-so-discreet whispers, and some people even snapped photos of me.

Emmett stood tall and tried to shield Bella and me from their view. I even tried to put some distance between Bella and myself, but she remained close to my side, her hand tightly in mine and her eyes never looking at the growing crowd of people.

I watched the check-in assistant stutter and stammer her way through the security questions and fumble with our boarding passes and luggage. It took the poor woman twice as long to clear us, and it drew even more attention to our presence.

Carlisle and Esme asked for assistance from the airline in escorting us through to the gate. Two members of airport security accompanied us through the security checkpoints and stayed with us until we boarded. Their presence seemed to deter people from actually approaching us, but still, one or two continued to take photos.

The flight was much less eventful; Bella and I were able to settle down for the first leg to Chicago without interruption. The airline shuffled us quickly and privately onto the second flight without having to endure further attention. But, of course, news of my sighting at Sea-tac had spread fast, and our arrival at Heathrow was nothing short of a media frenzy.

My father had arranged for a security detail to meet us in the terminal, but until that point the only help we had was Emmett. As we passed through Passport Control, we were met with the resident airport journalists and photographers. These were the only ones permitted to access otherwise restricted areas of the airport. I took a deep breath as they began with their barrage of questions.

"_Edward, are you back in London for the funeral?"_

"_How do you feel, Edward?"_

"_Is this your wife, Edward?"_

"_Can you just stop for a moment? Can we get a photo, Edward?"_

I kept my head down, and told Emmett to keep Bella out of their way. He put his arm around her shoulders, and marched her through the airport, leaving Carlisle and Esme with me. As soon as we broke out into the terminal, the newly assigned security detail swarmed around us.

There were even more paparazzi out here, and it took us a long time to battle our way through the masses of people. Ahead of me, I could see Emmett trying in vain to keep the cameras out of Bella's face. This was precisely why she hadn't wanted to come in the first place, and I should have never been selfish enough to ask this of her.

There were two cars with blacked-out windows waiting for us outside and I was pushed into the back-seat of the first car along with Bella and Emmett.

"You guys okay?" Emmett checked as soon as the car began to pull away. I nodded and looked to Bella.

"Bella?" I asked, and she shook her head.

"That was... fucking hell, Edward..." She bit her lip, and mumbled so quietly I almost didn't hear, "Fucking awful."

I shuffled as close to her as I could, and pulled her tightly against my side. "That will be the worst of it, I promise. We'll have a security detail everywhere we go now. I'm sorry, love, I never thought it would be that bad as soon as we landed."

She nodded once and took a deep breath. No one spoke for a few minutes, the sheer enormity of what has happening and why we were here had us all overwhelmed.

"Excuse me, Sir?" One of the security team seated up front turned around to talk to me. "Your father has asked for you to join him at Clarence House for the time being. We are driving straight there now."

"That's fine," I said. "Are my aunt and uncle going straight to the hotel? I'd prefer for them to be kept out of this as much as possible."

"Yes Sir, I've been informed they have reservations at the Goring Hotel. We'll take Mr. McCarty there after we leave Clarence House; unless you want him to remain with you?" the man asked.

"Not for now, but I would like Emmett to be alongside Bella at the funeral. No disrespect to your team, but my wife would feel more comfortable with his presence. You don't mind, Em, right?" I asked.

"Anything you need, Ed."

As we arrived at Clarence House, I could see a few waiting photographers hovering by the gates. Their cameras clattered against the windows as they tried to get a shot of me, Bella, or whoever else they thought was with us. More security personnel ushered them away and I sighed in relief when the gates closed behind us.

When the car pulled up in front of the house, out of sight to any lurking paparazzi, I said to Bella, "We're okay now. Come on, love, let's get inside."

I took her hand to help her from the car and felt it shaking. "Bella, look at me," I said softly, and her huge brown eyes were full of tears. "I'm so fucking sorry, Bella. You were right, you should have stayed at home-"

"It's not just the press, Edward. I feel so out of my depth. I mean, I have no idea how to act around these people... I'm just scared I'll show myself up." She sighed.

"Bella, just be you. This is almost as weird for me... I feel like two different people. The real me, who lives in Forks with my wife, and the old me..." I smiled wryly. "I really didn't like the old me."

"So, this is where your parents and James live?" she asked as we were escorted to my parents' apartment.

"Yes, James' home is on the other side of the estate. Their official residence will be Buckingham Palace soon enough... my Grandfather will probably move into an apartment here or at Kensington, perhaps." I squeezed her hand.

When the door opened, we could hear voices emanating from the main lounge area. My mother and father were sitting on separate couches, and James and Victoria were over near my grandfather who looked lost and unbelievably frail in an armchair by the window.

"Edward, Bella," my mother said warmly, and stood up to greet us. "I hope you're well?"

"It's a little strange to be back," I admitted.

"I'm pleased you came back." My father approached us, and reached out to shake my hand. "I hear the press caused somewhat of a commotion at Heathrow? I didn't think they would be expecting your arrival so soon."

"We attracted a lot of attention at Sea-tac. I assume that was how they discovered I was flying in. In hindsight, I should have made sure Bella and I disembarked separately," I said.

"I appreciate you being here to support my son, Bella." My father turned to Bella and smiled. "Welcome to London."

"Thank you," she replied and even did a discreet curtsy, which made me smile. "I am really sorry," she added quietly. "This is a really sad time."

"Thank you. We're all trying to come to terms with it." My father's voice wavered slightly. "I know you were intending to stay at the Goring with Esme and Carlisle, but I think given the welcome at Heathrow, you would be far more secure staying with us. There is a vacant apartment here, would you consider that?" He looked at me hopefully, but I hesitated. I doubted Bella would like the idea of that.

"That's very generous, thank you," she said confidently and I smiled, she was holding her own without a doubt.

I walked over to see my grandfather, and pulled Bella along with me. James and Victoria were still standing close to him, and I smiled, reaching out to shake my brother's hand.

"Congratulations on your engagement, it's nice to be able to say it face to face. Even if it is somewhat inappropriate given the circumstances."

"Really good to see you back, Edward. I wasn't entirely sure you'd come," James said.

I crouched down beside my grandfather's chair and placed my hand on his arm. It felt strange to show affection in this way, but spending as much time as I had with Bella, her family, and Esme and Carlisle, had impacted on me.

"Edward," he said, and smiled weakly. "It's wonderful to see you, and finally I get to meet your wife. I hear she's quite special?"

I nodded and was unable to keep the smile off my face. "She really is. Bella, this is my grandfather, Anthony."

"I'm really honoured to meet you, Your Highness," Bella said politely. "It would be nice if it was for a different reason."

"Thank you," he said again.

"Hey there, 'Not-quite-a-sis'." James winked and stepped closer to give Bella a hug. "How's life back in Spoons?"

"That's not original at all," I teased.

"James, I hardly think this is the time to be acting so juvenile," Victoria muttered. "Try to appreciate people are grieving."

James released Bella, and walked back to his fiancée, a tight expression on his face. He shot her a look, which was eerily reminiscent of my grandmother. Victoria flushed and looked down at the floor without another word.

"You two must be exhausted after the long flight. I'll have you shown to the apartment." My father called out to a member of his staff to assist us with our luggage, and then turned back to me. "Perhaps we could meet for lunch tomorrow? We can discuss the details of the funeral."

"Of course," I said.

"Your mother and I are leaving early for Buckingham Palace, so I'll have a car collect you later - shall we say around eleven?"

I nodded and he shook my hand again. "Thank you."

The apartment was sparsely decorated. It had enough for Bella and I, but it wasn't homely in the least. I had a quick look around, and Bella scoffed.

"This place has shit on our home," she giggled. "But, it has a bed, that's the most important thing."

"Definitely. I need to sleep, that flight has really taken it out of me," I said, and yawned dramatically. "In fact, I'm just going to call it a night now. Goodnight, love." I kissed her cheek and tried to walk away, but Bella could play even dirtier.

"Well I was going to offer to wash you down in the shower, but if you're tired, baby... never mind." she teased, and I stopped.

"Hey, now let's not be too hasty, because now that you mention it, I do feel quite dirty." I smirked and she grinned.

"Not tired?"

"Nope," I said, and followed her into the bathroom and watched as she turned on the shower, sticking out her ass as she did. "Not tired in the slightest."

"Good, because I have a whole head full of memories of some amazing nights in your old apartment, and I was kinda hoping we could relive some of those..." She began unbuttoning my shirt. "Wanna help me with that?"

"No..." I said seriously, and she frowned. "I want to make new ones, Bella."

I kissed her before she could make any snide remarks about my cheesy line, and began removing her clothes.

~x~

The next day, we had lunch as planned at Buckingham Palace. Already there were hundreds, probably thousands of people waiting outside the gates of all the royal residences. The sheer volume of flowers that had been left was staggering, and it really bothered me that members of the public appeared to be grieving more than I was. Even now, almost four days after her death I had yet to shed a single tear.

There was to be a procession the following day, in which my grandmother would be taken to Westminster Hall to be laid in state for three days; before the actual funeral took place on Thursday, in Westminster Abbey.

"We are holding a formal wake here, immediately after the official funeral. After that, it was your grandmothers wish to be buried privately at St. George's Chapel in the grounds at Windsor Castle," my father told us.

"Private?" I asked.

"Yes, her request was for just your grandfather and I to attend. You won't be offended if we honour that?" he asked cautiously.

"Not at all," I said honestly. "When does the private burial take place?"

"We will come back here initially to greet those invited, but as soon as those formalities are over, your grandfather and I will travel straight to Windsor Castle. Your mother is accompanying us, but will not be attending either." He waited before adding, "We probably won't return until the following morning. I take it you will have already left?"

"Yes. We fly back early that morning," I told him. "Bella has to get back to work, I'm sure you understand."

"Of course. We will just say our goodbyes before the funeral." He smiled and said, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have yet more details to finalise. I'll speak to you later, Edward."

~x~

During the days leading up to the funeral, Bella and I spent most of our time with my family in Clarence House. For the time being, my mother and father remained in their apartment, trying to pull together for my grandfather who was struggling to cope without his wife.

It was strange, given the fact they had only just met, but Bella and my grandfather struck up quite a unique friendship. She would sit with him, gazing out onto the gardens for hours at a time. She listened as he told her tales from his youth, and he was just as enthralled as Bella shared stories about her father's time on the force.

Had it not been for my wife, I seriously doubted that my grandfather would have made it through those few days. As much as I couldn't fathom their marriage, or imagine my grandmother showing any signs of affection whatsoever, he had still remained at her side for over sixty years. Then just like that she was gone, and he was lost without her.

"You know, Edward, this young lady is really quite something," he said with a smile as I joined Bella beside him. "Had I been a few years younger, you would have had some serious competition for her affection." Bella blushed and I laughed. "And, had she actually given her half a chance, I know your grandmother would have thought the same."

"She makes me happy," I said simply.

"I can see that," he agreed. "I have to admit, I much prefer your lady to the red-head your brother is marrying."

"Do you not like Victoria?" I asked and he shrugged.

"She's a tad bland... she reminds me of those terrible biscuits your grandmother used to have... I forget their name, but it was like eating cardboard." He yawned. "But, to each their own, and your brother surely is smitten."

When his eyelids started to droop, Bella said, "We'll let you take a nap. See you later." She kissed his cheek and he winked at me.

He was snoring before we left the room.

~x~

The night before the funeral I was a nervous-wreck. I tried to hide it from Bella as much as I could, but once she had fallen asleep I lost my hold on the nerves. I was tossing and turning, going over the entire day's schedule time and time again; the sheer enormity of the situation left me panic-stricken. Not wanting to disturb Bella, I finally gave up trying to sleep and got out of bed a little after three in the morning.

Facing everyone in such a public way was hard enough to deal with, but I'd dragged my wife along for the ride too. Bella would be photographed, researched, and subjected to near-constant scrutiny, and this time there was no hiding behind Ben Cheney. Yet, despite all of that, I had knowingly turned our lives upside-down and insisted she come with me. But selfish as I was, I wouldn't have it any other way, because I had never needed her more.

I was pacing back and forth in the hallway, when Bella's voice startled me.

"Can't sleep?" She smiled sleepily from the doorway.

"No, I'm sorry if I woke you." I sighed. "There is too much going round and round in my head."

She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my waist, burying her face in my chest. "It's not surprising, Edward. I'm nervous and you've got so much more shit to deal with than me."

"I was thinking about going outside... to see the people who are camped out," I mumbled and she pulled back to look at me.

"Why?"

"Honestly? Because I'm struggling to understand it all, Bella. All I can remember is the cold, distant, strict, woman, who never showed me an ounce of affection, my entire life. Yet, out there... there are millions of people all over the world who saw her as something different entirely." I leaned against the wall, and sank to the floor, putting my face into my hands. "People actually fucking loved her, Bella. They loved her and are out there grieving like I should be."

Bella sat beside me and tugged my hands away from my face, forcing me to look at her. "Yeah, but they loved someone different entirely, baby. They didn't know the real woman, not at all. They heard the perfectly scripted speeches, saw the carefully arranged visits, and kind words that someone else instructed her to say. They only loved the idea of who they _thought _she was."

"I know you're right, it's just what business do I have even being here? It makes me the biggest fucking hypocrite, because I actually don't feel a fucking thing that she's gone." I shook my head. "I don't know how to handle this."

"You'll be fine. The world will be watching the coffin, your father, and perhaps your grandfather. Just keep your head down, and I'll be there every single second. This time tomorrow, it will all be over." She kissed the tip of my nose, and rested her head on my cheek.

"Thank you," I said. "I love you, so much I can't even start to explain, Bella."

"Show me?" she whispered and pulled me to my feet and into the bedroom.

~x~

Bella was still getting ready in the bedroom, and I was back to my pacing in the hallway. I was dressed in a simple, formal, black suit, black tie and white shirt. I had tried to make my hair respectable, but it was out of control. It was almost as though it understood what today was, and wanted to make one final two-fingered salute to the woman who continually told me how much she disliked my appearance.

It was fifteen minutes to ten, the car would be here at ten to drive James, Victoria, Bella and I to Westminster Abbey.

"Bella, love, are you almost ready? Only the car-" I stopped mid-sentence when Bella stepped out of the bedroom.

Simple, elegant, knee-length, black dress, with a matching jacket, which also fell to her knees. She had barely a trace of make-up, and her hair was hanging in loose curls down her back. So effortless, so perfect, and she left me fucking speechless.

"Um... should I change?" she asked nervously, when I failed to speak for a while.

"No... sorry, love, you just look... so fucking beautiful." I smiled and reached out to hold her hand. I heard her let out a shaky breath, and pulled her close to me, kissing her forehead softly.

The car arrived several minutes early, and I walked Bella straight outside. I saw my brother and Victoria approaching, and his expression seemed to mirror my own.

"You okay?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"I feel awful, Edward. I feel so bad, because I don't feel bad... does that even make sense?" He sighed and rubbed his head.

"Perfect sense." I smiled wryly.

"Look at you, Sis," he said and smiled. "You look lovely."

"Thank you," Bella said quietly, and I gave Victoria a similar compliment, not meaning a single word.

As the car pulled away, and out of the gates of Clarence House, we saw that the numbers of people who had come to pay their respects had more than doubled in the past thirty-six hours. The streets were literally lined with row upon row of people. There were bouquets of flowers, wreaths, teddy bears, and goodness knows what else tied to the barriers, and people were consoling each other, comforting each other like they had lost their best-friend.

Save for my parents and grandfather, we were the last to arrive at the Abbey. The rest of the congregation were already in their seats waiting for the service to begin. I helped Bella from the car, and she didn't look behind her, we could hear the crowds, and seeing them would have only made everything even harder.

James and Victoria walked ahead, and as was customary, she fell a few yards behind, allowing my brother to take the lead. I felt Bella try to do the same, but I held her hand tightly and kept her close against my side.

"No, Bella, that's not us. You're my wife, and I want you at my side where you belong." I looked at her meaningfully and she nodded.

The Archbishop met us at the entrance and offered us his deepest condolences, and then motioned for us to take our seats. As we began the long walk to the front of the Abbey, I felt all eyes fall on us. Bella bit her bottom lip, and kept her head down, and I could feel her hand shaking in mine.

Amongst the guests, there were prime ministers; old and new, world-leaders from every continent, prominent movie stars who had worked with my grandmother for various charitable causes, and athletes, yet my wife and I were the ones who everyone wanted to see.

"How are you doing?" I whispered and she looked up at me, her big brown eyes wide with what I saw as sheer-fucking terror. She gave me a half-smile and one brief nod and then dropped her head again.

I rubbed the back of her hand with my thumb, trying to do all I could to comfort her, and as strange as it was, I found by focusing on reassuring my wife, all my nerves seemed to dissipate.

We took our seats on the second row, and without a second thought I pressed my lips to her temple. Bella shrank into my side, and I whispered, "You were perfect, love."

"At least I didn't fall," she joked, and I smiled.

I noticed Victoria watching us, and something flickered across her face. She turned her head to look at my brother who was sitting with his hands in his lap, and then she turned back to me and smiled. She reached over and placed her hand on top of James'. His brow furrowed and he looked to her in confusion, but then his face softened and he linked his fingers through hers.

_Public displays of affection at her funeral? Grandbitch would be throwing a fit if she could see us now. _

We were all asked to stand when my father arrived. My mother and father assisted my grandfather down the aisle. His eyes were red, and I could see his bottom lip quivering, but he never faltered. That was the only upsetting thing in this, to see his grief, it was so real, and that almost brought a tear to my eye, but not quite. It didn't seem to matter what happened, because I was just too detached from my so-called grandmother.

As they took their seats, I saw my mother notice our hands, and the corners of her mouth twitched. It was brief, but it was there. The music changed, and as it began to sound, we all stood one more time. Six members of the Welsh Guard carried the coffin, which was swathed in the Royal Standard, on the final part of her reign as sovereign.

~x~

My grandmother was being taken to Windsor Castle to be laid to rest, to the place her father had been buried years earlier. Some of the congregation were invited back to Buckingham Palace for the wake, and as we entered the ballroom, Bella and I exchanged a smile. It was the very place Bella and I had first met, what now seemed like a lifetime ago. We took our seats with James, Victoria, Carlisle and Esme. Emmett wasn't a formal guest, but he was working, so he joined us too.

Sitting at one table, were the official members of press who had been invited along to the event. I recognised Ben Cheney and gave him a nod when he caught my eye. I saw his gaze move from me, to my wife and then continue around the room. He winked at one of the guests and smirked. I followed his line of sight and in that very moment I knew exactly who his "source" had been.

* * *

><p><strong>AN So who is it? Chapter 19 is written so I'll send a teaser if you want one... obviously not the part which reveals the source ;)**

**Thanks to all you amazing people ALWTRS actually passed 1000 reviews. It definitely cheered me up after a really tough few days with a sick little boy! A sick little boy who was on my lap while I looked at some glorious pictures of Rob and shouted "Dada" I think my Twilight obsession has corrupted my kids LOL**

**JaimeArkin and Prettyflour are my awesome prereaders and Twifanmom had to deal with my apparent hyphen assault in this chapter :D**

**See you next week.**

**Katy**

**xoxo**


	20. Chapter 19  We're so going to hell for

**A/N I'm literally posting & running... another A/N at bottom - sorry! :)**

Chapter 19 – We're so going to hell for this!

BPOV

Edward stiffened beside me and I heard him curse under his breath. I turned my head and saw him glaring at a table on the far side of the room. I craned around him to see and I sighed when I realised who it was. Alastair Charles-Tanner, his wife, and of course Kate were chatting away to the other guests seated with them.

_Really, Miss. Priss? _

"I should have fucking known," Edward growled. "Who else could it have been?" He slammed his fist down, causing everyone at the table to stop talking and look at him in alarm.

"Edward," I whispered. "What's wrong?"

"It was Kate," he said, still seething. "Kate was Ben Cheney's goddamn source."

"Kate?" James interrupted and frowned. "How did you work that one out?"

"He said it was someone close to the palace when he interviewed me last year," Edward said. "He knows her; it all makes sense, right?"

I nodded, and Esme and Carlisle seemed to agree with Edward too, but James shook his head.

"But Kate didn't even know about the honeymoon, Edward. In fact I doubt she even knew you had gotten married, let alone know enough about you two to tell Cheney where you lived. We were the only ones who knew, our parents, me, and..." James trailed off and he frowned. "Victoria. Please, tell me you didn't?" He turned to her and sighed.

"I... I..." she stammered and Edward looked even more furious. "She's my friend, James. Am I not supposed to talk to her? After we got back from the wedding Kate asked about the visit, I didn't even consider that she'd go to the press, James, really. If she was the source, then I'm sure she made a mistake, and never intentionally sold them out."

Victoria looked to Edward and me. "Even when the pictures came out, it never crossed my mind that Kate was the one who tipped off the press. We went to university together..."

"How could you be so naïve? When we first met, you barely mentioned Kate. Shit, Victoria, I didn't even realise you two knew each other. And then as soon as we were pictured together, she's your _friend?_" James laughed darkly. "You had no right to ever tell her a thing about my brother's life."

I felt a little bad for Victoria, James was absolutely livid, and he definitely didn't try to remain calm. A few people at another table noticed that something was going on, and tried to listen in on our discussion.

"Maybe it's best if we discuss this another time," Carlisle said quietly. "It's really not the time or place for this conversation."

"I can't believe how stupid you were," James ignored Carlisle's suggestion and continued to berate Victoria.

"Look, I'm sure it was just a bad-judge of Cheney's character on Kate's part, but it all worked out okay, didn't it? It really isn't worth arguing over, come on James, I'm cool, Edward's cool too... right, Edward?" I nudged Edward's foot with mine, and he nodded.

Really though, I wasn't cool... not by a long shot. How dare Kate sell Edward out like that? Was she still so bitter and scorned even after all this time?

_Kate Charles-Tanner needs to deal with shit and move on. Motherfucking bitch needs a good kick up that snooty motherfucking ass. _

Edward chuckled and I groaned. The poor guy couldn't take me anywhere.

"Bella, did I ever tell you how much I love you?" James said, smiling. "You're absolutely priceless."

"I'd say I'm sorry," I admitted, "But I'm not sorry in the slightest. I really hate that fucking woman."

Victoria shook her head and said, "But you don't _know_ her in the slightest. Your perception of her is clouded because of her relationship with Edward. If you took the time to talk to her, get to know her, you'd realise that-"

"That she's nothing but a fame-hungry, power-seeking trollop who knowingly sold out my brother just because he chose someone else," James hissed. "Let me ask you something, before we met, Victoria, when was the last time Kate actually called you, or spoke to you?"

Victoria lost some of her composure and her voice faltered, "Well... people regularly lose touch when they start new careers. Since you and I went public, James, Kate has been wonderful. Of all the friends I have she understands what it's like to live under the scrutiny."

"She understands shit," James scoffed. "She and that father of hers, took advantage of the fact my grandmother favoured her."

"Come on guys," Emmett said, but still James kept going.

"I warned you about her. I told you she was trouble."

"I'll talk to her and find out what happened. Maybe the reporter manipulated her." Victoria looked to James hopefully.

"And when you realise what kind of person she is, you owe Edward and Bella a real apology," he said, somewhat calmer, and then took a drink of water.

"If you'll excuse me," Victoria said, and stood.

We watched her walk over to Kate's table and say something quietly in her ear. Miss. Priss glanced over to us, all watching, and then followed Victoria out of the room.

"She's got a lot to learn," Edward mused. "And she seems very stubborn."

"That she is," James agreed.

"You're a saint, Jimbo. That's all I can really say. How the hell can you put up with her?" Emmett asked in disbelief.

"I know she comes across as difficult, but really, the harsh side to her is just a mask she puts on. When it's just us, she's completely different. She makes me laugh, and I could tell her anything... not that I ever feel like doing the emo, baring my soul shit. I think the aloofness is just her way of coping with the attention. Trust me, I would never have asked her to marry me if that was what she was really like." James leaned over and said to Emmett quietly, "Besides, she gives the best head known to man." They fist-pumped and Esme rolled her eyes.

_Best head? I don't fucking think so, just ask your brother._

I knew I'd said it out loud straight away, and I clamped my hand over my mouth in horror.

James cocked his head and smirked. "That's very self-assured, Bella. Of course, I'd be happy to let you back that statement up." James burst out laughing, and even Edward cracked a smile. Of course I was blushing like crazy.

"Please don't ever stop doing that," Edward murmured.

"What? Making an absolute asshat of myself thanks to my lack of control of what comes out of my mouth? Or were you referring to the fact that I have some sort of genetic abnormality that makes me almost bleed-out through my motherfucking cheeks?"

Edward traced his thumb over my cheekbone and placed a kiss on my lips. "For the record, I adore your lack of verbal filter. Hearing shit like that at the most inappropriate moment is brilliant. But, I was actually referring to your blush. I really hope you pass that onto our kids... it's all you, Bella."

"Fuck that!" I scoffed. "You can't get away with a damn thing and kids tease the living shit out of you, just so they can see you turn as red as a tomato."

_Hold on a minute... he said kids... why does he keep saying that?_

"Because, we are going to have kids, love," Edward said simply and then he saw me panic. "Not right away of course... but one day."

I took to drinking lots of champagne, wine, or whatever the hell it was that the servers kept bringing out. The word "kids" instilled fear into me. Babies kept you up all night crapping and throwing up everywhere. Then, you had a few good years when you could blackmail them into behaving and going to sleep with Santa and the Easter Bunny and shit like that. But then came teenage years... and I spent every motherfucking day with those creatures, why the hell would I want to bring one home with me?

I excused myself to go to the bathroom and save for one closed door there was no one else around. I was just about to go into another stall, when I heard two voices.

"I'm sorry, Vicky, I thought Ben Cheney would keep my name out of it, but I don't regret it. Who the hell does she think she is, parading around here like she's something special? You've been unfortunate enough to see first-hand how she clings onto him. Probably because she knows the second he gets away from her he'll run for his life." Kate's voice fed the rage inside me, and I clenched my fists.

"It's not like that, Kate." I was surprised to hear Victoria defend me. "They're happy, and I do mean really, really happy. Edward adores her, and I know that must be hard for you... but you really caused a problem between James and I-"

"Please, Victoria, don't you start kissing her backside too. Now his grandmother is dead, she's probably trying to worm her way back into the family. I wouldn't be surprised if the entire deal is scrapped, and Edward goes back to being heir apparent," Kate snarled.

"I doubt that," Victoria argued.

"I hate her. She's nothing... no one. It's because of her that I lost Edward, that I'm stuck here-" The door swung open and Kate froze as she emerged right in front of me.

I was leaning against the counter with my arms folded across my chest, and my foot tapping on the marble floor. "Hi, Kate," I said cheerfully.

Victoria stepped out from behind Kate and looked at me nervously.

"Why so quiet, Kate?" I asked when she didn't make a sound. "You had a lot of shit to say about me when you thought no one was listening." I smirked and glared straight at her. "What's wrong, Kate, cat got your tongue? That's not surprising though is it? After all, I bet an old spinster like you has plenty of cats in your empty house, right?"

"I'm sorry, Bella. I was wrong-" Victoria began to apologize.

"Shut up, you don't apologize to her," Kate snapped.

"Ah, you've found your voice. Congratulations." I laughed and pushed forward from the counter. Victoria held out her hand, to try and stop me as I stepped closer to Kate. "You listen to me now you bitter fucking witch, you ever pull a stunt like that again, and I'll personally rip every single hair from your motherfucking head. Are we clear?"

She shrieked and actually stamped her foot. _Who the fuck does that?_ Victoria tried to get her to calm down but the bitch was pissed.

"You don't get to talk to me like that. Who are _you_ to talk to _me_ like that? You've brainwashed Edward, because someone like him could never want a cheap, lower-class, _whore_ like you." She jabbed her finger into my chest and I snatched her finger, holding it tightly in my hand. "You're just a fucking waitress... you're not good enough."

"Actually, I teach high-school literature... you know... books?" I taunted her.

"I went to the most prestigious university in England, I know what literature is," she shrieked.

"Well fuck me, I didn't realise _Spot the Dog _and _Where's Wally? _would be on the curriculum." I laughed and tried to walk away before I really did something I shouldn't.

"Don't you dare walk away... I'm not done with you yet."

"Well I'm done with you. This is a funeral, you selfish little brat, and right now, Edward needs me. I'm not wasting any more time on a pathetic excuse for a woman like you. I suggest you get over this idiotic claim you _think_ you have on _my husband. _I'm the one who married him, I'm the one who gets to screw his brains out every night, and I know how goddamn lucky I am to have him in my life, so there's no point hanging around waiting for him, Kate, because I'm never going to fuck it up. I pity you, I really fucking do." I resisted the urge to drive my fist into her head and took a breath, before walking away with my head high.

Of course, as soon as I was alone I regretted my restraint straight away. I wanted to punch her... I wanted to break her motherfucking nose. I couldn't go back into the ballroom, I was too angry. Seeing a door open onto a familiar-looking courtyard, I wandered outside and smiled, picturing that night when I took a break out here to have a smoke. The night Prince Edward joined me and changed my fucking life.

_Fuck, I could really do with a smoke right now._

I don't know how long I was out there, clearly it was long enough for Edward to come looking for me. "Hey," he whispered and stood close beside me. "Victoria told us what happened with Kate. I'm impressed. I didn't think my wife had that much self-control."

"I was this close," I said pinching the air with my finger and thumb elaborately, "to hitting her. But, I wasn't giving her the satisfaction. It would have only given her something else to run to the press about."

"I'm rather disappointed," Edward said sadly. "I would have quite liked to see feisty Bella, giving her what for. You're incredibly sexy when you're angry... you're not still angry by any chance are you?" He raised his eyebrows and smirked.

"Now that you mention it—yes. I feel very fucking angry," I teased. "I don't suppose you can help with that?"

Edward rubbed the back of his neck and looked around quickly. "Let's go." He grabbed my hand and towed me across the courtyard and back into the palace through another door.

"Where are we going?" I asked, struggling to keep up.

"Somewhere we most definitely won't be disturbed," he said, and showed me into a small room. "This was my grandmother's private study... no camera's, no guests."

"Here? Are you fucking mad?" I asked nervously, but Edward didn't say anything. He had me caged against the wall, and his mouth on mine. I could feel how hard he was already, and as he ground his hips against me, I stopped caring about why this was wrong. His hands pulled my dress up, as high as he could and pushed my underwear down, slipping his fingers between my legs to find me as turned on as he was. "Oh, fuck," I moaned.

"Tell me to stop, Bella," he panted.

"Don't fucking stop," I breathed and over his shoulder I spotted a desk. Placing my hands on his chest, I backed him towards the huge mahogany antique in the corner of the room. "I want you to fuck me on that."

He knew what I meant straight away, and he groaned. I fumbled with his pants and shoved them down over his hips. He turned me away from him, and bent me over, and held onto my hips tightly. I flattened my palms against the shiny, smooth wood, and readied myself because oh fuck did I know what was coming.

_We were so going to hell for this!_

With a thrust of his hips that quite literally left me seeing stars, I moaned loudly. The noise didn't deter Edward, and over and over again, he slammed into me. I clawed at the desk with my nails, and tried all I could not to scream my fucking head off. "My God, Edward... I can't... shit!"

"Scream as loud as you like, baby, no one can hear us," he said breathlessly.

My entire body felt like it was shattering into a million pieces when I climaxed. It was mind blowing amazing, and Edward felt it too.

"Jesus, Bella... I can feel you..." his fingers dug into my skin, and I was still so tight around him, I could actually feel his dick pulse as he came with an almighty roar.

Neither of us was quite ready to move, and Edward rested his head on my back as he caught his breath.

"That was... incredible, but so fucking wrong," I said, unable to stop myself from giggling. "I can't believe you just did that to me... here... you're a rebel, Edward."

"I've wanted to do that for years." He laughed, and pressed his lips against my neck. "Let me get you a towel, love."

He slid gently out of me, and patted my ass. I watched him disappear into the poky en suite, re-emerging with a towel.

After I'd cleaned up, I looked in the mirror and sighed. My skin was flushed, and my lips notably swollen from the intensity of Edward's kisses. Add that to my ruffled hair, and heavy-eyes, and there was no denying I had just been royally fucked in Buckingham Palace.

I burst out laughing when I saw poor Edward's hair. If it was wild before, there were no words to describe it now. We battled in vain to flatten it down.

"We are so fucking busted," I said, still giggling.

"It's a good job my parents are keeping my grandfather company," he said with a smirk. "I doubt they'd condone this sort of behaviour."

Kensington Palace, Clarence House, and now Buckingham Palace. "Edward?" I asked. "How many other homes does your family have?"

"Um, a few... why?" he asked.

"Just keeping score that's all." I winked and he laughed.

"God, I love you." He kissed my head, and wrapped his arms around me tightly. "As much as I'd love to spend the next few hours making love to you in every room, we should get back."

"How long before we can leave?" I asked.

"Not too much longer, I promise. One more night in London, and then we can go home. And that I cannot wait for."

"Home could be a lot different after this week," I warned, but Edward looked at me fiercely.

"But it'll still be home, Bella."

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**I am really sorry if any of you reviewed the last chapter and didn't receive a reply or the teaser. I tried to get as many done as I could, but my son was admitted to hospital on Tuesday & I spent two nights on the pediatric ward with him. He's okay now, but it's taking him some time to get back on his feet. My beta hasn't had chance to work her magic on the chapter as yet. Thanks to prettyflour & Jaime Arkin for prereading :)**

**I will try to respond to all of your reviews at some point this week, but I literally haven't had any time to myself since last Monday so I won't promise a teaser. I have a few chapters prewritten so hopefully I can keep posting weekly for now :)**

**Thank you so much for reading and for all your reviews they really helped distract me during a pretty rotten week. **

**Bye for now**

**Katy**

**xoxo**


	21. Chapter 20  Is This Okay?

**A/N... I own nothing.**

Chapter 20 – Is This Okay?

EPOV

The first month after Bella and I returned from London was a challenge to say the least. We were no longer anonymous. The videos and photos of my wife and me at the airport and funeral were everywhere, and several of Bella's students couldn't resist spreading the word that the woman the world had just gone crazy about, was actually Mrs. Cullen, their English teacher.

Paparazzi arrived in droves, and converged upon Forks High School. After trying to tolerate it for over a week, Bella was forced to resign her position. The parents were unhappy, the teachers stressed, the students distracted, and my wife was heartbroken. Principal Green assured her it was temporary, and insisted she would be back as soon as the attention subsided.

For a brief moment, we even discussed the idea of moving somewhere new, but decided that would solve nothing. Our families were here, our home was here, and our friends were here. The hysteria had to subside at some point; after all in just a matter of months there was the wedding of my brother and Victoria.

As the days ticked by, slowly but surely, the numbers of waiting paparazzi began to dwindle. Still not able to return to her teaching role, Bella secured a job as an advisor on an on-line home-schooling site. She was emailed assignments to assess, offer advice on course-work, and answer any other questions the students had. It wasn't something she loved, but it kept her occupied, and more importantly in the house and away from those photographers that remained.

"Pizza's here, guys," Emmett called out as he and Rose arrived for our now customary movie night every Friday.

Bella was up off the couch and over to Emmett in a flash. "Thank God, I'm so fucking hungry." She devoured a slice quickly and then picked up another, before stopping. "It tastes funny, Em. What did you get?"

"The same as you always have." He shrugged and took a bite of his. "Mine tastes good."

Bella and I sat down on the couch, and I took a tentative bite of a slice myself, but just like Emmett, I thought it tasted perfectly fine. "Maybe you got a rogue pepper on that slice or something?" I offered. "It tastes the same to me, love."

"No... it was the chicken... it just tasted... off." She picked the pieces of chicken from her half of the pizza, and continued to eat; albeit a little less enthusiastically.

The girls had chosen tonight's movie, and much to mine and Emmett's annoyance, they had chosen a very cheesy chick flick. Bella was really looking forward to watching it, so I was surprised when not five minutes after the start—she fell fast asleep.

As soft snores began to sound, Rose frowned. "What the fuck do you two do all day, man? She's been like this for ages now... she's fucking exhausted."

"Babe, they have all day every day to do whatever the hell they like. I know what we'd be doing, and believe me, you'd be as exhausted as Bella," Emmett said, with a laugh.

I forced a smile, but Rose was right. Bella had been particularly lethargic this past week or so, and it wasn't like her. We had been cooped up inside the house of course, a combination of bad weather, and not wanting to draw any increased attention to ourselves; perhaps she had just gotten into the routine of napping? She didn't stir and after the movie was over, I locked up the house, before carrying Bella up to bed.

I placed her as carefully as I could on the bed, and pulled the covers around her, but she didn't flinch. With a chuckle to myself, I kissed her softly on her cheek. I undressed and climbed in beside her.

I woke up a little before six, the next morning and I was alone. I noticed the light underneath the bathroom door, and assumed Bella was on the toilet, so I closed my eyes to sleep again and then I heard her retching.

_She's sick?_

I jumped out of bed and knocked on the bathroom door. "Bella, love, are you okay?"

"It's just the chicken from last night, I think. Go back to bed, Edward, I don't want you to hear this," she croaked.

"I don't think so, Bella. I'm coming in," I said and opened the door.

My wife was slumped over the toilet, looking even paler than normal and her hair clung to her face. I rinsed out a washcloth with cold water and pressed it on her forehead.

"Thank you." She forced a smile at me and then muttered, "Stupid motherfucking chicken,"

"Are you sure? I feel fine, love," I whispered. I held back her hair when she threw up again, and stayed with her until she was done. "You should take a nice relaxing bath, Bella," I told her, and helped her to her feet.

"I feel a lot better now, actually," she murmured and sat back down on the toilet. "Could you pass me that little bag in the vanity cupboard, Edward? There's some mouthwash in it, I think."

I passed her the box and turned my attention back to the bath. When I was finished, I said, "Bath's ready, love." I turned around when she didn't answer and saw her frowning at a strip of tablets in her hand. "What's wrong? Do you feel sick again?"

She shook her head, but said nothing else. I looked closer at the tablets in her hand, and noticed the majority of the blisters were empty, but for the four or five small pills that remained. I could see small writing above each blister... FRI, SAT, SUN, MON... It suddenly dawned on me what they were, but I still had no idea why she was acting so strange.

"Bella, what is it? Please, love you're starting to frighten me." I knelt in front of her and held her arms. "Bella?"

"I... I... thought I'd finished this pack..." she said, her voice shaking. "I started the new pack when we got home... I thought I'd taken them all."

"Home? New pack?" I was confused. Unless...

"How could I even forget? Mom packed my toiletries for London... it didn't even cross my mind... It's been ages since I had a... why didn't I...?"

"Bella, full sentences please." I moved my hands to hold her face and force her to look at me. "Please, love, help me out here."

"With everything that's been going on, I must have..." She looked at me nervously, and said, "I don't think it's the chicken, Edward. I think I might be... pregnant."

Pregnant? Bella might be pregnant? We might be having a child? I was going to be a Dad?

A huge grin formed on my face. "Really? You really think so?"

She shook her head. "I don't know... but it makes sense right?" Her voice was shaking, and she actually looked nervous.

"I should make you an appointment to see Dr. Gerandy. He can run the tests and make sure-"

"Edward, I'd rather just do a home-test. If I am, I want it to be us who know first. Not Dr. Gerandy or his busybody assistant." She stood up and took a deep breath. "We'll get one from Thriftway."

I looked at my watch. "Okay, that sounds like a plan. But, the store doesn't open for another hour, Bella. Why don't you take your bath, and try to relax. As soon as they're open I'll go and buy one."

She nodded, and let me help her out of her clothes. "You'll get in with me too? I really don't want to be on my own right now."

"I'm not going anywhere, love."

~x~

One covert shopping trip later, it was time to know if I was indeed going to be a father. Bella made me sit on the bed while she took the test. I could hear her muttering and cursing about the impossible task of peeing on a tiny little stick like that. Although she made me chuckle, my insides were churning with anticipation.

She emerged from the bathroom and sat beside me, the test in her hand and we waited. Each second ticked by slowly and we kept our eyes on the small window on the test. Waiting.

My heart almost burst through my chest with feelings of excitement, pride, and love when the word _pregnant_ began to appear, and then grew darker and darker.

Bella was pregnant. My wife was pregnant, and I was going to be a motherfucking father.

"Oh my God," Bella whispered and looked at me, her eyes wide and anxious. "Is this okay?"

"Is this okay? Are you kidding me, Bella? This is so much more than okay, this is so fucking wonderful, I can't quite believe it. If it is at all possible, I love you even more... you have my baby growing inside you, love... I'm..." My voice faltered, and my eyes actually filled with tears. "It's so fucking perfect."

She kissed me and still clutching the test in her hand, she wrapped her arms around me tightly. "I can't believe it either, Edward. We're going to be parents."

I slowly pushed her down on to the bed and hovered over her. I pulled up her shirt and kissed down her body until I reached her stomach. "I wonder if he can hear me?" I murmured.

"_He?_ You're being a little premature there aren't you, baby?" Bella giggled.

"He or she. I don't care, but I am not referring to our baby as 'it', Bella." I placed my ear firmly against her skin. "I don't care what we have, because this little person is all us... we made him." I showered her stomach with soft kisses.

Bella's hands found their way into my hair and she let out a sexy little whimper as my lips drifted slightly lower. My dick sprang to life straight away and I looked up at her.

"It is okay to do stuff... right?" I asked cautiously. I mean, I didn't want to hurt the little guy.

"Stuff?" She giggled. "Do you want to fuck me, Edward? You can say it you know."

"Hey, we have to watch what we say and how we act now, baby. Besides, I don't want to _fuck_ you. I want to make love to you, worship you and your amazing body that is caring for my son or daughter," I said seriously, but she just giggled even more.

"Well then, Your Highness, King of Cheeseland, I grant you permission to do whatever the hell you want to me." She brought her hands to her mouth and squealed. "Oh my god, do you realize?"

"Realize what?" I asked, smiling at her.

"There's going to be a motherfucking Prince or Princess of Cheeseland too..." she began howling with laughter and tears rolled down her face.

I laughed with her, and lay my head back down on her stomach again. "Dear future heir of Cheeseland," I murmured against her skin. "I will warn you in advance, that you are going to endure a lifetime of hearing the word motherfucker used in every possible sentence. But, as you'll learn your mother is without a doubt the most adorable person on the planet, and there is no way you could ever not love every word that comes from her mouth." Bella stopped laughing, and I could feel her staring at me. "In fact you'll soon realize it's impossible to live without her."

"I love you," she whispered, and I could see more tears running down her face, only this time she wasn't laughing. "I thought I'd be scared shitless... someone like me being responsible for a baby—it sounds so insane. But, I can't wait now, Edward. I can't wait to argue about names, colours for the nursery and which stroller we'll buy."

She tugged on my hair and pulled me up to her, kissing me passionately. She brought her legs up, pushed down my sweatpants and boxers with her toes, and I helped her wiggle off her jeans.

I watched her carefully, as I slowly eased my way inside her. Bella's hips moved with mine, and I could feel the tips of her fingers running up and down my back, sending shivers down my spine.

"I love you," I breathed and chanted it over and over again, between kisses. I was still saying it and trying to show her, when I felt Bella clamp down around me and she moaned loudly. I came straight after—the events of the day had so utterly overwhelmed me that I didn't have the strength to move off the bed. I carefully rolled off her and held her tightly against me.

It was no longer Bella and I. Now there were three of us.

~x~

Airing on the side of caution at first, we had decided to keep the baby news to ourselves until after Dr. Gerandy had confirmed the pregnancy and we knew how far along Bella was. The next three mornings saw Bella darting to the bathroom to throw up, but despite the sickness, the fatigue, and her now fast-growing fear of childbirth, my wife was beaming, and so was I.

Of course, our good-mood did not escape the notice of our eagle-eyed family, and the secret barely lasted an hour in their company. As we did each week, the following Wednesday, Bella and I went to Bella's parents' house for dinner. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rose were there, and we couldn't wipe the smile from our faces.

"Jesus, what the hell's with you two?" Charlie grumbled after I kissed Bella's hand and helped her into her seat at the table. "All this lovey-dovey crap... you're worse than normal."

"I'm just in a good mood, Dad," Bella said cheerily, and blushed. "Would you rather me sulk and not speak to anybody?"

"Something's going on," he scoffed. "I'm Chief of Police, and my observation skills are second-to-none."

Renee watched us carefully, but her expression was unreadable. She never said anything until Carlisle stood to pour everyone a glass of wine. As soon as he reached Bella's glass, we both shot out our hands to cover the glass and yelled, "No!"

Carlisle looked at Bella in shock, and she tried to backtrack, "I'm just trying to cut back... save my liver and all that shit."

"Bullshit," Renee said coolly. "Look at the pair of you. You're both buzzing about something. Edward's been like your bodyguard tonight, neither of you can stop smiling, and don't even get me started on the fact you keep touching your stomach."

"Gas?" Bella offered weakly, and Renee broke out into a face-splitting smile.

"You are? You really are, aren't you?" she squealed, and Bella groaned.

"Are what?" Charlie asked. "Is she sick or something?"

"Definitely _'or something'_," Renee gushed. "Come on Bella, you know Esme and I have been waiting for this day for so long now. Please tell me."

Esme was quite literally bouncing up and down in her seat, clapping her hands. Bella nodded, I grinned, and the two women started shrieking hysterically.

"We're going to have a grand-baby!" Renee burst into tears.

"Grand-baby?" Charlie spluttered and looked at me. "She's pregnant? You got my daughter pregnant?"

I cowered in my chair and braced myself for the tirade of abuse I was sure was coming my way. But instead Charlie looked from me and focused his attention on Bella. "You're having a baby? My baby is having a baby? I'm going to be a granddad?"

We both nodded and he shoved quickly away from the table and marched into the kitchen.

"Fuck, run, Edward, he's going to get his gun," Emmett warned.

"You really think he'd shoot me?" I asked in panic.

"You've just knocked up his only daughter... you've basically told him you've stuck your dick-"

"Emmett!" Esme shouted. "Don't be silly, Edward, I'm sure Charlie won't shoot you... right Renee?"

A few people exchanged nervous glances and then feebly tried to agree with Esme.

"He'll probably shoot you in the balls with his shotgun," Rose said absently.

I gulped and felt my palms begin to sweat.

"Guys, shut up, you're scaring him," Bella warned them. "I'll protect you, baby."

We received congratulations from the others, but the table fell silent as we heard Charlie approaching. But he didn't have a gun; he had a bottle of champagne in one hand, and a corkscrew in the other. "I've been saving this for a special occasion, and I can't think of a better one than this."

Everyone jumped as the cork popped out of the bottle. "Sorry, Bells, none for you. I'll be keeping an eye on you from now on; I need to make sure you're treating that grandchild of mine good." He poured us all a glass of champagne, and handed Bella a glass of water.

"To my daughter and son-in-law, who believe it or not, have just made my motherfucking night. Congratulations."

Everyone clinked glasses, and then Charlie said to me, "And one last toast to Edward. Good luck, buddy, because for the next nine months, whatever you do or say will be wrong. Cheers."

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thank you so much for your **lovely** reviews last week. Ethan is back to his usual self now, and I've managed to draft a few more chapters this weekend, so hopefully I can keep posting weekly! I reckon only four more to post after this one. I'm kind of sad about that honestly... :(**

**Another thanks as always, to Prettyflour, Jaime Arkin & Twifanmom for being such a wonderful help!**

**See you next week.**

**Katy**

**xoxo**


	22. Chapter 21 The Patron Saint Of Cockblock

**I own nothing it's all Stephenie Meyer. Thank you to Prettyflour, Jaime Arkin & Twifanmom for working their magic on the chapter :D**

Chapter 21 - The Patron Saint Of Cockblocking

BPOV

"Remind me again, why are we celebrating?" Edward called out from the shower.

"It's something like eighteen years since they got divorced," I replied, thoroughly distracted by the thought of him naked in the bathroom.

"I've heard of people celebrating divorces before—but not when they've reconciled with the other party."

_Edward wet, naked, and soapy... Oh yeah, he was talking._ "Huh?" I mumbled.

"I just thought it was weird... a divorce party for two people back together again."

Edward washing himself... naked, wet, and soapy. _Shit, he asked me a question. What was it again?_

"Are you talking to yourself?" He laughed. "Talk to _me_, you still haven't answered."

_Answered? Oh, the party, got it._

"What's there to say, Edward? My parents are fucking nuts. I dread to think what they've got planned."

It was no use; I couldn't cope with the distraction of naked Edward any longer. I rolled off the bed and strode straight into the bathroom, tearing off my robe as I did.

Was it normal to be this horny?

Edward peered around the shower curtain and chuckled. "Again? You're killing me, Bella."

"It's all your fault—you impregnated me, so you have to deal with the consequences," I told him and climbed into the shower.

"Consequences like these are fine with me, love," he said quietly.

"Good," I murmured. "Because I've still got a good few months left."

I ran a finger down over his eyes, they closed at my touch and when they re-opened they burned with lust into mine. I continued along the bridge of his nose, and gently traced the outline of his lips. He watched me, and I felt his hands hold gently onto my waist. He swallowed as my finger brushed over his Adam's apple, and I heard him take a breath as my hand drifted lower. Down his chest, stomach, and then I stopped abruptly. With a wink, I dropped to my knees, and drew my tongue from the top to bottom of his shaft.

"God damn," he moaned, and I dug my nails into his thighs. "Definitely have no problem with this pregnancy side-effect." His hands grabbed my head as I took him into my mouth.

I took him as deep as I could, and grazed my teeth along his sensitive skin, just the way he liked.

"Fuck, Bella, just like that—shit," he croaked out, his voice and body trembling.

I had no problem with swallowing at all, but since the whole morning-sickness thing, my stomach had been especially sensitive, and had apparently developed a dislike for Edward's finest swimmers.

"I'm going to come, baby," he panted and I tried to move my head quickly out of the way.

Unfortunately, my knees slipped as I tried to stand, and just as Edward released, I was eye-level with his dick.

"Ew." I wiped at my face and grimaced. "Nice aim."

Edward pulled me to my feet, and immediately washed my face. "Sorry," he said softly.

When he'd finished with my face, he set about washing every other inch of my body. His touch was beyond gentle, and I felt his lips trace over my skin. The sensation ignited every cell in my body, and I moaned. "Edward, I can't stand it. Please, I need you."

He chuckled. "You have no patience, Bella." He turned me to face the wall and kissed my neck.

Lining up his hips with mine, he slid inside me in one swift motion, and I clawed at the cold tiles. "Jesus, Edward."

He was slow, loving, and careful. One hand trailed up my body and caressed my breast, and his teeth and lips nipped and brushed against my neck.

The combination of all three sensations blew my mind, and my legs almost gave way. Edward held me fast with his other arm, his fingers splayed over my stomach and the barely noticeable swell that had just begun to form. He pressed into me one last time, and I rested my head on the tiles relishing the cool on my otherwise flaming-hot skin.

~x~

I was rifling through my wardrobe, trying to find something—anything to wear. I had my underwear on and nothing else. At this rate I'd be going to the party like this because I had no motherfucking clue what else to put on top of it.

Muttering to myself as I looked at every piece in disgust, I turned and saw Edward leaning against the doorframe watching me. He had on a white short-sleeved, button-down shirt, and a pair of black dress pants. There was a tie hanging open around his neck, and his hair was all sorts of chaotic—and by God, did it set me off again.

_Edward wearing nothing but that tie around his neck. Tugging him towards me before he..._

"Don't look at me like that, love, please. We're late as it is," he said and then broke out into a huge grin. "You're so beautiful. You really are glowing."

"I'm fucking screwed," I huffed. "I need something to wear, but I can't decide."

"Why?" he asked and stepped to my side.

"Um... hello? This!" I pointed to my stomach and he beamed again.

"Bella, you can't possibly think that the cutest little bump I've ever seen, could interfere with how your clothes fit?" He leaned in and kissed my shoulder and I caught a whiff of his aftershave.

_Fuck me..._

"I will later, I promise." He chuckled. "Jesus, we really need to get you dressed or we'll never make it to the bloody party. Surely something has to fit?"

"Yeah, they still fit. But they cling to my stomach," I grumbled.

"Bella, you're pregnant." He sighed.

"Yeah, but right now this is not a baby bump. This looks like I'm bloated." I whined, "To anyone looking on who doesn't know... I could just have motherfucking gas."

He laughed again, but he humoured me, and sat me on the bed. With patience like no other man I'd known, he rummaged through my wardrobe and produced dress after dress, top after top, and skirt after skirt, until I finally decided on a red and white flower-print maxi dress. It was the loosest thing I owned so it would have to do.

I had no time to fuss with my hair, so I just left it down; it was only a fucking divorce party after all.

We arrived at Forks' very tired looking Community Center only fashionably late. We would have been much, much, later had I succeeded in my attempts to seduce Edward in the truck. I may or may not have tried and failed, to get him to pull over so we could make out and more on the drive over.

"There you two are," Esme called out and waved us over.

The tables in the room had all been repositioned to span the length of the back wall. There was the DJ's booth, a table covered in food, and another table draped in a white sheet, with a flower arrangement in the center. What the fuck?

Edward held my hand and we walked over to the seats our family had saved for us. I noticed that all of Mom and Dad's friends, and most of Forks' PD had been invited, and it confused me even more because my parents were nowhere to be found.

"I knew that you two would be late," Emmett boomed. "Come on, tell me you got lucky in the car, Eddie? I bet Jazz fifty bucks you two had stopped for a bit of sumthin', sumthin' on the drive over. "

_Bah! Chance would be a fine thing. Not with Sir. Edward, the Patron Saint of Cockblocking._

Jasper held out his hand and Emmett rooted in his pocket to pay up. Everyone else burst out laughing and Edward narrowed his eyes at me, half a smirk on his face.

"Where are my crazy-ass parents anyway?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"I honestly don't know," Esme said. "I helped your mother set up the room earlier, and then I haven't heard from her."

"Well, while we wait for them to show up, I would like to say I have my dress picked out for the wedding," Rose said. "It's so fucking exciting, I'm going to the Royal fucking Wedding!"

"Yeah, and the second they see you, security will be kicking your ass out," I snickered. "You won't be able to keep your mouth shut, Rose."

"You'll be perfect." Emmett winked at her. "With Bella getting a little podge in her midriff, we'll be the sexiest motherfuckers in London."

_PODGE! I have podge?_

"Shit, Em, don't fucking anger it," Angela said and looked at me nervously. "Are you looking to get your fucking balls severed?"

"You think I'm podgy?" I sniffed and looked down at my hands in my lap. My hormones were all over the place and I went from horny, to furious, to devastated in the space of twenty-five seconds. "In a few weeks we are going to the biggest fucking wedding ever and people are going to think I'm fat?"

"Nice, Emmett." Edward hissed and wrapped his arm around me. "You do not look fat, Bella. You're fucking beautiful. Ignore my idiot cousin."

"I was only joking, Bella. Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," Emmett said sheepishly.

"Em, you're a fucking ass," Rose muttered and leaned across the table. "Ignore him, Bella. I promise to get him back for you later."

"Really, Bella, I'm sorry." Emmett looked quite terrified and I wasn't sure if it was the menacing glare Edward was shooting him across the table, or the fact that Rose was now chomping her teeth together and nodding towards his crotch at the same time.

"Okay, Em," I mumbled.

_What a shit fucking night this is going to be. Celebrating my parents' divorce, can't have a drop of alcohol, I look podgy, and my husband won't put out until we get home. Add to that he shot jizz in my eye earlier, and yeah, this night pretty much sucks balls big time._

"Um... Bella, think don't speak," Alice said with a giggle and I looked around to see everyone smirking.

"I don't even care. You should all know me well enough by now, and Edward said in sickness... this is my sickness." I shrugged and Edward chuckled.

A few minutes later, the music stopped, the doors opened, and in stepped my parents. Dad was wearing a very smart looking tux, and my mom was in a beautiful, fitted white chiffon dress which screamed "bridal", her hair had been pinned back, and she had a tiny bouquet of flowers in her hand. She looked incredible.

"Eighteen years ago today, Charlie and I were officially divorced. Now, we've found our way back to each other, we thought today would be a perfect day to make it official once again. We've invited those closest to us, because we want to share this with you." My mom looked around nervously and everyone cheered and whistled.

They had asked Reverend Weber to run through a very informal version of the wedding vows, and they took their place in the center of the room. I felt tears roll down my face when I saw just how happy they both were. My dad's voice broke when he vowed never to let her go again, and my mom sniffled as she told him she could never be without him.

It was perfect and beautiful and I didn't even cringe when their first kiss as man and wife turned a little frisky. I did groan, however, when I saw my dad adjust his pants when they finally broke apart.

I was the first to congratulate them. "Mom, you're so beautiful." I wrapped my arms around them both and squeezed as hard as I could. "You too, Dad. I'm so happy for you both."

"Well, we couldn't let our first grandchild be born with grand parents living in sin now could we?" he said with a chuckle.

"I love you both so much," I whispered and then stepped back.

Edward was standing close behind me, and he wrapped his arm tightly around my waist. "You look beautiful, Renee." He kept hold of me when he kissed her cheek and shook my dad's hand. "Congratulations."

"Thanks, Edward." Dad fiddled with his collar. "Renee, do we need to do this shit with everyone?" he grumbled. "I thought we agreed to do it this way so we could avoid all the usual crap we hate about weddings?"

"You're absolutely right, Charlie," my mom said. "Let's say 'fuck it' to the formalities, and get on with celebrating."

"Thank Christ," Dad sighed. "I need a beer."

We returned to our seats, and everyone started drinking—everyone except me, that is.

"Here you go, Edward," Emmett said, and thrust a beer in his direction. "Bella can't drink, so you might as well take advantage of the fact she can be designated driver."

I agreed enthusiastically. Drunk Edward would be so much easier to lead astray and seduce practically anywhere. I watched in amusement as he drank beer after beer and was really starting to loosen up and enjoy himself. While we chatted to those around us, his hands took on a life of their own and ran up and down my thigh.

"So, how long before we find out whether I'm having a niece or a nephew?" Rose asked. "I know I'm not a 'blood' relative, but you and I both know I'm so going to be that kid's coolest Aunt."

"That's actually quite terrifying," Edward said, and I laughed. "Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmett. Jesus, the poor kid will need therapy."

"Well suck it up, Edward," Rose quipped. "I'm so fucking giddy."

"Me too," Alice piped up. "I can't wait to find out what you two are having. When do you find out?"

"We're not," I answered. "We want to wait and let it be a surprise."

"No fucking way!" Angela laughed. "Bella, you hate surprises. That was so not your idea."

"Hey," I objected. "We're a team, right baby?"

"Yes," Edward nodded, "But what my darling wife is forgetting is that she lost a game of rock, paper, scissors when we couldn't decide if we would find out."

I looked at him in disbelief. "You motherfucking traitor."

He laughed and said, "Sorry." Not looking sorry in the slightest. "Don't be mad, Bella."

Everyone else started debating what sex my baby was. I'd been back and forth, reading every article on the web and trying almost every old wives tale to try and find out the sex. Some indicated a boy, and the others a girl... it only infuriated me all the more, something which Edward found highly amusing.

I was listening to Alice's argument about why it simply had to be a girl when Edward's hand moved under my dress and his finger slipped inside my underwear. I jumped a mile, but luckily no one seemed to notice.

"Edward," I hissed, but he just smirked, and I was a done for.

I heard him curse under his breath when he pushed his finger inside me. I reached for my water to try and remain as normal as I could, but my hand was shaking so badly I quickly pulled it back. I looked around the room as casually as I could, hoping that no one could tell I was without the ability to focus.

Of course, my dad chose that very moment to sit opposite Edward and me. I sighed and waited for Edward to move his hand, but the perverted motherfucker did no such thing. I squirmed as discreetly as was physically possible, as Edward's thumb pressed on my clit.

"You okay, Bells? You look all worked up." Dad asked.

I just shrugged, because I would have barely managed anything other than incoherent screams about the prowess of Edward's magic fingers, and I figured no dad ever needed to hear that.

"She's just tired, Charlie. It's been a pretty long day," Edward said smugly, and I detected not a trace of guilt or nerves in his voice.

"Then get yourself off, honey," Dad said.

"Definitely, Charlie." Edward smirked, "Sooner rather than later too, I expect... right, love?"

I could take no more, I let go right at that very moment, and the only way I could disguise it was by letting a hysterical giggle burst out of my mouth. Dad laughed too, before frowning when he didn't quite see the funny side to the conversation. After he had turned his attention to Carlisle, I glared at Edward.

I was going to tell him how inappropriate, and not to mention how fucking dangerous it was to get Chief Swan's daughter off right under his nose. But my husband looked so proud of himself I just couldn't do it. I leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips.

"That was fun," he murmured.

"If he realized what you were up to, you would now be on the floor with a hundred bullet holes in your body, and I would be a widow," I said.

"Not a chance," Edward retorted.

"Just because he's stoked I'm pregnant, doesn't mean he wouldn't shoot you... in his eyes your job is done now." Edward shook his head and I scowled. "Why are you sure of yourself? You really think he wouldn't do it?"

"Oh, I know he would, Bella." He laughed. "But he isn't carrying his gun tonight, love. If he had figured out exactly where my fingers were, I would have dragged you outside and we would be on our way to Canada right now."

I rolled my eyes and snuggled under his arm. "Is it really lame that I want to go home?"

"No," he replied and I felt his lips press against my head. "But before we do go, I'd quite like to dance with you first."

"Dance?" I asked and pulled a face. "I can't fucking dance."

"I'm not asking you to quick-step around the dance floor with me, Bella," he said with a chuckle. "Just something slow, perhaps?"

"Slow I can do," I agreed.

Edward made his request to the DJ, and when the music switched, he took my hand and walked me to the dance floor. It wasn't just us, thank God, because I certainly didn't want all eyes on me. My parents, Esme and Carlisle, and a few other couples were all up on their feet. Edward wrapped one hand tightly around my waist and held me close to him. We swayed slowly from side to side, barely moving from the spot, and it felt perfect.

I smiled to myself as I felt the baby moving around, the little monster even landed a kick or fist and Edward stepped back.

"What was that? Was that the baby?" he asked, his eyes lit up with excitement.

"Yeah, did you feel it?" I beamed and he nodded furiously.

"Definitely a boy," he murmured and pulled me back against him. "Girls can't kick like that."

"I can kick you in the shin right now and test that theory if you like?" I teased. "My legs are pretty damned powerful thank you very much."

"I'd much rather have you demonstrate your leg strength in an entirely different way, love," he whispered roughly in my ear. "I love it when you wrap them around me when I fuck..."

"Shit, please stop talking like that," I begged. "Seriously, Edward I can't cope... please take me home. I can't wait any more. Please."

It was the quickest goodbye on the face of the planet, and Edward all but ran me from the party. This time my efforts to seduce Edward in the truck didn't fail, and the second we turned onto the drive he cut the engine and had me out of the cab and up on the hood before I could even blink.

His kisses were desperate and his hold on me fierce, as he thrust his hips over and over. I could feel he was close, and thanks to the baby, I was permanently on the verge of orgasm, so as soon as I let go, Edward did too.

"Now that was the highlight of the night," I said breathlessly. "Can we skip the party after James' wedding to do that?"

"You want me to fuck you on the bonnet of a car in London?" Edward chuckled. "Any particular street take your fancy? The Mall? Mayfair? Trafalgar Square perhaps?"

"Trafalgar Square? With all those fucking pigeons? I don't think so... that would be just wrong." I turned up my nose. "And I wasn't suggesting we get ourselves arrested for fucks sake. I just thought that we could find another room in Buckingham Palace... It was a shit load of fun at the funeral."

"Oh, Bella, I already have a long list of rooms I intend on getting you naked in, don't you worry about that."

_Hell yes!_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thank you all so, so much as always for reading and taking the time to leave such lovely reviews! I know I missed a few replies towards the end of the week, but our house seems to be a breeding ground for all colds &amp; flu germs and this time it's my turn to be infected lol!<strong>_

**_See you next Sunday._**

**_Katy_**

**_xoxo_**


	23. Chapter 22 Unfinished Bathroom Business

Chapter 22 – Unfinished Bathroom Business

BPOV

This time, I was a little better prepared for our reception in London. The press were still out in force of course, but as there were more people along for the ride on this particular trip I felt much more secure. My parents had decided that London would be a great place to enjoy a second honeymoon, and travelled with us. They intended on touring the city and making the most of the electric atmosphere which was gripping the nation, thanks to the wedding.

My dad and Emmett practically marched me through the airport and into the waiting minivan outside. I could hear my dad cursing under his breath at the sheer intensity of the situation.

"Damned lunacy, that's what this is," he muttered as Edward slid in beside me. "How you put up with that shit for all those years, Edward, I have no idea. Don't those people respect privacy for God's sake?"

Edward shook his head. "No, I'm afraid not, Charlie. That's what they do, and they'll do pretty much anything to get what they want."

"Damn vultures," he growled.

We flew in on Sunday, six days before the wedding ceremony. Mom and Dad were staying with Esme and Carlisle at their home in Baldock for a few days, and Rose and Emmett were staying with Alice and Jasper. Of course, that left us staying at Clarence House again—something I wasn't too keen on, but the same security concerns were present so I kept my mouth shut.

Already, the streets around London were being prepared for the huge event. Barriers were in place outside Buckingham Palace and St. Paul's Cathedral, and the amount of tacky wedding memorabilia on display was quite frightening.

The newspapers, magazines, and news broadcasts all ran story after story about anything and everything wedding-related. Who was attending? What would the groom wear? Would Edward turn up? Was he James' best man? And the biggest question on everyone's lips seemed to be, "What was Victoria going to wear?" The speculation was rife about the designer, the cut, the colour, and the material.

I couldn't even begin to comprehend how stressed and nervous she had to be. I was a nervous-wreck for my small, intimate ceremony, and here she was, about to say "I do" in front of quite literally, millions of people.

Edward had no sympathy however; he was still annoyed that Victoria's big mouth had been the cause of the leak to the press. It was in the past, and I tried to tell him we had already crossed that bridge so there was no point even worrying about it, but Edward was stubborn.

If I was worried I looked "podgy" for my parents wedding party, it paled in comparison to how big I was now. I was six and a half months along, and I felt like a motherfucking elephant. There was absolutely no disguising it and Edward thought it was brilliant. He would talk, touch, or place his ear to my bump at every opportunity.

We were definitely getting more and more excited about finally getting to meet the little person who was quickly taking over our lives. Edward had insisted he was going to decorate the nursery himself, and he had done an amazing job. As premature as it was, everything was ready. The crib was constructed, the clothes our friends and family kept buying were in the closet ready, and my bag was packed... just in case.

Although, my rapidly growing stomach caused a few positional problems, I was still as insatiable as I had been for the rest of the pregnancy. Edward wasn't complaining of course, I think he was just trying to cram as much sex in as he could before I gave birth. Emmett had filled his head with horror stories about women chopping off their husband's penis while they slept, and _"lady parts that could swallow a man after they'd sacrificed themselves to give life to a baby_".

The next few days, saw Edward spending a great deal of time with James. They had final fittings for their suits, discussions about the speeches, order of service at the cathedral, and much, much more. I wasn't exactly confined to the apartment, but Edward was particularly worried about me going anywhere alone, so wandering around London wasn't possible. Instead, I found myself spending more and more time with Edward's grandfather.

"She always kept me so busy," he said quietly, during one conversation about his late wife. "It seemed like we were never still and we both wanted it that way. Now though, my son wants me to, and I quote, 'take it easy and relax'. Unemployment really isn't for me, I'm so bored."

I rested my arm on his and smiled. "So tell him that. You could always put on your best Darth Vader voice and say, 'I'm your father.' That should get his attention." I couldn't help but giggle at the vision of Edward's almost ninety year old grandfather doing the heavy breathing and donning a make-shift light sabre over dinner with the King and Queen. "Sorry, I'm being silly."

"Nonsense," he objected. "Nothing wrong with having a sense of humour, my dear. You can't get through this life being serious and dull. Anyway, enough with my woes—how are you and that little baby keeping? It will be my first great-grandchild you know? I hope Edward is taking care of you both."

I nodded emphatically. "Oh yes, without a doubt. Edward is _very_ protective. I think he'd wrap me up in cotton wool for the next few months if I let him."

"As would I. You're far too precious to him." The cheeky old guy winked and added, "In fact, he's entrusted your well-being to me during the wedding ceremony."

"Has he?" I asked, doubtfully.

"Yes," he said seriously. "When he's up there with James, I am going to be your date, Bella."

I giggled again. "Imagine the scandal."

"Scandal? I'd be a hero!" he scoffed. "I fully intend on persuading you to run off into the sunset with me." I burst out laughing and Anthony shook his head. "I'm kidding of course. I can't move fast enough to run anywhere. But we can have a slow walk into the sunset instead. How does that sound?"

I was still laughing and hadn't answered when I heard Edward's voice behind us. "I'll have less of that, thank you. No sweet talking my wife—got that?"

"Ah, you can't blame an old man for trying."

"Hey you," I said and reached out to hold his hand as he walked over to the chair. "All done for the day?"

"Yes." Edward nodded. "I'm afraid I need to steal my wife back, I'm taking her out to dinner. If you promise to behave, I will bring her back again tomorrow."

"You'd better. She's the highlight of my day, this one."

"And mine," Edward murmured and helped me to my feet.

~x~

"So where are we going?" I asked excitedly as we drove away from Clarence House.

"Volturi's of course," Edward said casually. "I never got to take you out on a real date when we were together in London before. I want to enjoy the chance to be a normal couple on a normal date. I thought it would be nice to go back to Volturi's... they were sort of responsible for our meeting after all. Is that okay?"

"It's perfect," I replied. "Absolutely perfect."

Markus and Aro were there to greet us, and Markus was so excited I couldn't understand him.

"Whoa, Markus. Slow the fuck down. You're talking in a tone only dogs can here," I grumbled. "Take a breath, yeah?"

He nodded and fanned his face with a napkin. "It's just so exciting, Cinderbella. You're having a bambino... a bambino with Prince is the most exciting thing ever—oh my God! YOUCOULDCALLITMARKUS!"

"You think I'm going to name my first born after a man who likes to dress up as Tinker bell, and who laced me with Margarita's just so you could hear all the sordid details about Edward's dick?" I asked and saw Edward blush.

Markus giggled. "Can we negotiate? Perhaps your second born?" he asked hopefully.

"How about a dog?" I joked.

"Deal!" Markus cackled. "Well, tell me about the sex?"

"Fucking awesome—I'm so damned horny all the time," I started to say and Aro laughed.

"Um, love, I think Markus means sex of the baby," Edward whispered in my ear.

"Oh... yeah of course. Sorry."

"We're actually keeping that a secret," Edward answered for me.

"That's delightful," Aro trilled. "We are so happy for the both of you... truly such a lovely couple. I think you're going to make wonderful parents. Anyway, let me show you to your table."

We followed him over to the VIP table and I grinned. "This is so weird, I feel like I need to learn the specials and put on an apron."

"No serving for you tonight, my darling," Markus said as he held out my chair. "You let us take good care of you, Cinderbella."

"So who's your best server these days?" I asked as I looked around the restaurant. "I hope Heidi isn't putting in an appearance."

"Oh no, Heidi will most certainly not be putting in an appearance, we fired her tittle-tattle booty the second she tried selling out our dear friends," Aro said warmly. "I still laugh when I think about her claiming you were Canadian, such a dense girl."

"Thank you for being such amazing friends, you guys," I said honestly, and Markus wrapped his arms around my neck.

"Of course, darling," he said and then pulled back with a wicked glint in his eye. "Besides, I really should be thanking you. Watching Aro being so assertive and domineering when he asked her to leave the premises for breaching our confidentiality clause was very arousing."

I groaned and saw Edward grimace. "Come on, Markus, I didn't near to hear that."

"You should make Edward do it, I can't tell you how passionate it was. I swear I was walking funny for days."

"And suddenly, I seem to have lost my appetite," Edward muttered and stood up. "I'm just going to nip to the bathroom—please let this conversation be finished when I get back."

Markus was still talking, but I had tuned him out. I watched as Edward walked away, keeping my eyes planted firmly on that ass of his that was just peeking out from underneath his jacket. The pants he had on clung to him in all the right places and I had the benefit of knowing exactly what was underneath that material.

_Fuck me, we need to finish what we started the last time we were in the bathroom together._

"Goodness, Bella. I shouldn't condone that in my rest rooms for obvious reasons, but I wouldn't want to upset a very hormonal and pregnant relation of the King of England, now would I?" Markus winked and ushered away a very flustered looking Aro.

"Right, bathroom sex... take two," I said to myself as I approached the men's room.

As I opened the door, Edward was washing his hands. He looked up at me through the mirror and smirked as I closed, and locked, the bathroom door behind me.

"Last time we did this, it didn't turn out so well," he murmured and turned to face me.

"Exactly. We need to put that right, Edward. Who knows when we'll get the chance again?" I walked closer to him.

"You do make a very strong point," he whispered, grabbing my hand and tugging me towards him. "Let's hope this counter is more robust than the sink in the ladies room."

He kissed me and I moaned when I felt his erection press against my hip. I couldn't fucking wait any longer, so I made light work of the button and zipper on his pants. Edward hissed as I palmed his dick on top of the boxer shorts that were struggling to contain him, and then he swore as I pushed them down and wrapped my hand around his shaft.

"Sit up on here." He picked me up and put me on the counter, both of us holding our breath in case history was about to repeat itself, but thankfully it remained firmly attached to the wall.

Edward's hands ran up my legs and pushed my skirt as high as he could, and then pulled down my underwear. Widening my legs he dropped to his knees and placed a kiss on each knee, never removing his eyes from mine.

"Don't tease me... please... Edward," I gasped as his lips drew up the inside of my thigh painfully slow. I saw him smirk briefly, before he buried his face between my legs. "Oh fuck."

My legs wrapped around his neck and my heels seemed to dig into his shoulders of their own accord. I moaned loudly as he licked and sucked on my clit and I couldn't help but cry out when he pushed two fingers inside me. I saw his eyes flash up to mine nervously, as if trying to silently tell me to be quiet, but it was impossible.

I knotted my fingers in his hair and pulled him up. He rose to his feet and slid me to the very edge of the counter, positioning himself at the same time.

"Jesus," he choked as he eased inside me, and his head dropped onto my shoulder. "I won't last long, baby... you feel too fucking good. Please... can you..."

_Why the fuck was he even worrying? The guy only has to wink at me, and I have a "When Harry Met Sally" moment. Seriously, I'm running the risk of permanent damage to my vocal chords with all the motherfucking screaming._

One of Edward's hands moved from his grip on my ass, and pushed down the straps on my dress. When his tongue flicked against my very fucking sensitive nipples I came again and slammed my head back against the mirror.

"Fuck, I love it when I can feel you... like that... shit," he panted and then stilled. "You have no idea what effect you have on me—even with a vision of Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal in my head," he added a few seconds later with a chuckle. "You really pick your moments, love."

"Sorry, but it's true." I winced as I moved. "Ow, my fucking head."

Edward looked up at me in concern and his eyes wandered behind me to the mirror. "Shit, Bella, you broke the fucking mirror... are you okay? I'm so fucking sorry."

I craned my head to look, and sure enough a crack had appeared. There were no chips of glass missing from it, and not a trace of blood to be found. I thought it was nothing, but Edward apparently thought otherwise. He moved my head and began inspecting it for cuts and scrapes, and then subjected me to a tirade of questions about dates, times; sums, and then I had to count his fingers.

"I'm fine, Edward," I argued when he mused about taking me to the hospital. "I've had enough concussions in my life to know that this is definitely _not _a concussion. If I were you, I'd be more worried about telling Aro and Markus we've trashed another one of their bathrooms."

"Is the baby moving? You must have hit your head pretty hard to break the mirror love, please let me have someone take a look?" He looked frantic.

I took his hand and placed it on my stomach. "Edward, the baby is moving, and I feel perfectly fine." I made a fist and hit the mirror with my hand. Another small crack appeared beside the one I'd already made. "See, I hardly hit that."

"You didn't need to prove your point by causing more damage, Bella," he said and smiled slightly. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm pretty fucking terrified about telling Markus I have to admit." I giggled.

"I handled it the last time, I can do it again."

"I wouldn't call what you did last time, 'handling it.' You announced to the entire fucking table that we'd broken the sink after being alone in the bathroom together—talking. You do know no one believed you right?" I let him help me from the counter and he shrugged.

"Hey, my cousin and brother thought I was a fucking stud," he teased. "I'd missed you far too much that week anyway, I didn't care who knew what we were up to. We do need to get back to the table now; I don't really like the idea of reading about this encounter in the newspapers tomorrow."

"Yeah, and I'm starving." I rubbed my stomach. "This kid clearly likes to eat."

When we returned to the table, Edward explained a little more discreetly to Markus about the mirror, and he too made a fuss about my head. I gave Edward an exasperated look as he insisted in bringing out a make-shift icepack and holding it on my head for a few minutes.

After Nurse Markus was satisfied I didn't have any head trauma or brain damage, he left us in peace and the rest of the evening was perfect. Even though there were other guests in the restaurant, the location of the table gave us some privacy, and it was easy to believe it was just me and Edward. Being back here, brought back all the memories of those first few weeks after we met. A time when I honestly thought we had nothing more than a matter of months together. Now I simply couldn't imagine my life without him.

~x~

Edward had spent the evening before the wedding with James, Emmett, and Jasper, and a few other of his friends and family, in a private bachelor party at Clarence House. Not wanting me to spend the night alone in our apartment, Edward had insisted I stay with Alice and Rose, so we too had our own "party". Rose and Alice drank wine and got insanely drunk, while I fell asleep on the couch as we watched a movie which had been filmed immediately after the engagement announcement. It chronicled the romance of James and Victoria leading up to the proposal. It depicted the Queen as being a caring and even affectionate person, something I knew not to be true, and it painted Prince Anthony as a reserved and relatively boring man... something I thought was a complete travesty considering James was so much like him.

Alice woke me up with a squeal of excitement at around ten. I saw her and Rose beaming at the television and looked to see what the hell was wrong. I pulled a face when I saw it was a news broadcast and closed my eyes again.

"No, Bella. They've gone out to meet people... you have to listen, Bella," Rose shouted.

"Who the fuck are you talking about?" I grumbled and sat up. "Why the fuck do I want to watch the goddamn news?"

"Edward went outside with James and his father to talk to the people outside Clarence House." Alice grinned, and suddenly the news became a little more interesting.

I waited patiently for the story to come around again, and when it did I smiled as I saw Edward following his father and brother out into the street. He looked nervous and hesitated slightly before approaching the crowd.

He accepted flowers from several elderly women and placed them with the huge pile by the gate. Edward seemed to spot someone in the mass of people and made a beeline straight for them. He spoke to a lady for a few minutes who looked quite emotional, and then he knelt to talk to the little girl who I presumed was her daughter. She looked about three and was holding out a stuffed animal. Edward took it from her, and placed a kiss on her cheek. She grinned and started talking enthusiastically about something, but we couldn't hear, the cameras weren't close enough to pick up on their conversation. Edward nodded and smiled, and instead of putting the gift with the others, he kept it in his hand as he talked with more of the crowd.

As soon as the story finished, I grabbed my phone and sent Edward a message.

_I've just seen you on TV, you looked really fucking cute. Missing you tonight xx_

**Missing you too, I was thinking about sneaking into Alice's apartment, but I don't think there's any trees by your window :(**

_Mm, that is a shame. Why did you keep that gift from the little girl?_

**It wasn't for me—it was for you. She shares your name and I met her sister when I was in Australia, just after you and I met. Her sister was Sasha, the young girl who asked me to help choose a name for her baby sister. Sasha's parents moved to London about a year after she passed away. I don't know if you remember?**

Did I remember? Of course I remembered. Immediately, I burst into tears and Rose darted to my side. "Bella, are you okay? Is it the baby? What's wrong?"

I couldn't talk, and my phone buzzed again, Edward was calling me. I thrust the phone at Rose and put my face in my hands, trying to control the hysterical sobs ripping from my chest.

"Hey, Edward, it's Rose. What the fuck did you do? Bella's sobbing here," Rose shouted and I shook my head at her. "The girl? The one with the... yeah... fuck yeah I remember... oh." Rose looked at me and her face crumpled. "No wonder she's crying... I'm crying and I'm a cold hearted bitch. Give her a few minutes to get a hold of herself and she'll call you back."

I went to have a few minutes to myself. I was still a snotty, crying mess when I heard a gentle knock on the door. I sniffed a pathetic "come in" expecting Alice or Rose to be checking on me, but it was my husband. I sat up and wiped furiously at my face as he sat beside me on the bed.

"What are you doing?" I choked. "You're supposed to be with James."

"Emmett got James drunk on Bourbon after my father left. Everyone else is passed out, I am sober as a judge and you were upset, love. Besides, you know I hate sleeping without you." He lay down and pulled me against his chest.

He replayed the conversation with the little girl and her mother, and then waited patiently as I started crying again.

"You know, I've been thinking," he whispered after I had finally calmed down, "About what to call the baby. What do you think to Mason, if he's a boy?"

"I do like that," I said but shook my head. "I already thought of one... I mean... I figured you come from a traditional family... pass down names and all that... Um... I thought Anthony?"

"Anthony? Really? You would... I mean I never expected that, Bella." He hovered over me and studied my face. "I'd really like that... what about Anthony Mason?"

I nodded and he shot me a brilliant smile. "Anthony Mason Cullen. Yep, I like that. And if he's a she?" I asked as a tear ran down my face again.

Edward cocked his head and wiped it away. "Easy."

"Sasha," we both said in unison, and then he chuckled softly as I burst out crying again.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**Thank you all for reading and reviewing. Hope you enjoyed their return to London!**

**As always I own nothing except any errors you see - I have submitted this before my beta has had chance to get it back. But, thanks to Prettyflour and Jaime Arkin for always helping me with each chapter.**

**See you next week,**

**Katy**

**xoxo**


	24. Chapter 23  A Royal Wedding

**Hope you enjoy :D**

Chapter 23 – A Royal Wedding 

EPOV

The sky was bright and there wasn't a cloud in sight. A seemingly never-ending flow of sunlight was pouring in through the window and reflecting from the huge mirrors which hung on the wall. Huge mirrors which James and I were standing in front of in the large suite. We were both dressed in our morning suits waiting for things to begin. Given it was a particularly big day, I had attempted to calm my hair from it's usual style of utter disarray, but it simply wasn't cooperating. So, I decided to leave it be, completely happy knowing it was just the way Bella loved it.

The shirt collar was tight around my neck and it felt uncomfortable. This was only the third time since I left London three years ago that I was in anything as formal as this. I was nervous and my palms were sweating. I looked at my brother and smiled to myself—he looked as nervous as I, and with good reason. Being a best man for your brother is never easy at the best of times but today... yes today was really fucking huge.

"Jesus, stop fussing with the damn thing."

"What? I just want it to look perfect."

"Look, I get this is a big day for you two. Getting married is huge—but this should be a happy occasion, remember?"

"I know, but-"

"Do you love her?"

Sigh. "Yes."

"And does she love you?"

Another sigh. "Yes."

"Then stop fucking stressing and let yourself enjoy it."

A knock at the door interrupted us and we both turned to look to see my father poke his head around the door.

"Your mother and I are just about to leave for the cathedral; your car is here waiting already." He smiled and James and I both took deep breaths at the same time.

"We'll be right down," I said and smiled as my brother barely managed a nod. "Come on, James, just try and enjoy it."

"Next time, I'm getting married in your back garden, and no one else is invited," he grumbled and I laughed. "I'm serious."

We walked in silence downstairs and out to the car. Even from the back of the house we could hear the crowd calling out and whistling. I immediately thought to Bella, once again she was being thrust into the limelight and this time I wasn't there with her. I knew Emmett, Esme, and the rest of my family would do their best to keep her shielded but I hated being without her.

The nerves kicked in a little more, and I twirled the wedding ring around on my finger, never more relieved that I hadn't been faced with an experience such as this. The car rolled away from the house and through the gates of Clarence House and my brother immediately started waving to the people. I followed suit and the sheer volume of people out to support us was even more staggering than it had been last night.

"Oh, Jesus," James muttered and I reached across to pat his shoulder. "There's thousands and thousands... Edward. Fuck."

"Once you're inside the cathedral you can pretend they're not there. It will just be you, Victoria and your family." I tried to reassure him. "You want to remember this as a happy day, and you can't do that if you let all the hysteria affect you."

"Right, you're right." He blew out another breath. "I should have brought a small flask of something strong... I really could do with a drink right now."

"There'll be plenty of alcohol at the party afterwards," I said and he scoffed.

The reception at St. Paul's was nothing short of staggering. The crowd erupted as we stepped from the car and we gave them a wave before the archbishop escorted us up the steps and inside. The seats were lined with people, most of them I had never met before in my life, and was pretty sure James hadn't either. These were the guests invited because of tradition, heritage, or to be courteous to other nations.

As we greeted some of those guests I found the falseness of the situation almost laughable. When Bella and I married it was shared with only those people we loved and wanted there, and once again I was reminded just how fortunate I was to be away from the absurdity that came with the Royal Family.

I tried to be polite, but I found myself looking to the front, hoping to see my wife and eager to speak to her for a few minutes before the service began. I craned my neck and the huge form of Emmett caught my eye, beside him I could see Rose and Alice, but no sign of Bella.

"So, how are you finding life in the States, Edward?"

I turned my head back, and saw the Prime Minister holding out his hand in front of me, his wife standing close beside him. "Very well, thank you," I replied and shook his hand.

"I see congratulations are in order, your wife is pregnant?" he asked and I grinned instinctively.

"Yes, we're very excited," I said.

"We were introduced to her when she arrived earlier," his wife said. "She seems lovely."

"That she is, I am incredibly lucky to have her." I nodded. "If you'll excuse me."

I left James talking to them and headed straight up the aisle without stopping to talk to anyone else. As soon as I saw Bella I relaxed, and as her eyes landed on me she broke out into a smile that mirrored my own. She wore a knee length blue dress which did nothing at all to disguise the fact she was pregnant and she looked stunning.

"Hey you," she whispered as I stood in front of her. "You look so handsome. I could quite get used to seeing you all dressed up like this."

I reached out and took her hand, pulling her as close to me as I could. "I thought it was supposed to be the bride who was the most beautiful woman in the room?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "I don't see you for a few hours and you go all cheesy on me."

"I'm always cheesy, Bella." I pressed my lips to her forehead, and gently rubbed her bump. "How were things when you arrived?"

"We kept her in the middle of us all, Edward," Alice told me, and then laughed. "But, as soon as we got inside, people were climbing over each other to meet her."

"Did they bother you?" I glared at Emmett. "You should have kept them away."

"It's okay, Edward, they were polite enough. I just felt silly, I didn't even know who the fuck they were. Apart from when Guy Ritchie arrived of course," Bella giggled. "Rose was so funny, she was speechless. People were trying to talk to her, and she just gawked at them."

"Well, it's better than me dropping the 'F-bomb' right?" Rose huffed and I laughed.

"I disagree. I think it would have been brilliant if you'd dropped a motherfucker or two." I put my arm around my wife and felt her nestle into my side.

"How is James?" Esme asked and I shook my head.

"Not so good, Esme. He's a nervous-wreck. I've never seen him so flustered."

"I can't blame him, I'd be planning my escape if I was marrying that shrew," Alice retorted quietly.

"I second that," Emmett added and I laughed.

"Hey, she's not that bad, guys," Bella argued.

"Get you, Bella, arse-kissing the future queen," Emmett teased. "Hoping for an invite to Balmoral at Christmas?"

"Fuck you, Em," Bella muttered.

My father and grandfather approached us, my mother hovering behind him. With a wry smile, my father said, "I see something has finally broken through your brother's calm and cool exterior?"

"Definitely, I tried to reassure him, but I doubt it worked." I looked back and James was working his way slowly up the aisle, talking to as many people as he could, probably to distract himself. "I think once the service starts he'll forget why he's nervous. The amount of people who've turned up really affected him."

"Imagine how Victoria feels," Bella offered, and from the corner of my eye I saw Emmett flick his tongue up and down.

"We've spent some time with her trying to ready her for this, she doesn't have the luxury of privacy anymore, so I'm sure she's prepared for this," my mother added. "We should take our seats, it's almost eleven."

"I'm bitterly disappointed, Bella," my grandfather said. "I thought I was your date?"

"Sorry, but your grandson has just accosted me. I think he's frightened of just how charming you are," Bella said with a giggle and I laughed.

"I really think I need to keep you away from my wife. I won't share her."

My grandfather chuckled, and winked at Bella before making his way to his seat. I stayed with my wife for a few more minutes before James and I were instructed to take our places by the archbishop. He did one final run-through of the order of service and then the congregation was asked to stand for the arrival of the bride.

We knew as soon as Victoria had exited the car because the screams from the watching crowd ripped through the cathedral. James paled considerably and I tried one last time to put him at ease.

"It's just you and Victoria, forget about everyone else."

The music changed and the classical sounds of "_Trumpet Voluntary"_ began to play. I looked back and saw Victoria being escorted up the aisle by her father and if it was possible she looked even paler than usual. She looked nice of course, but despite the dress, veil, and trimmings she had nothing on my wife.

"She's almost here, she looks beautiful," I said as sincerely as I could and as soon as James looked over his shoulder he visibly relaxed.

She took her place at his side and they exchanged a nervous smile before the service began. I listened for my part to arrive and tried to heed my own advice and not think about the millions of people who would be watching this moment. I handed over the rings and cast a glance back to see Bella watching me. The look on her face was unmistakable and she raised her eyebrows suggestively.

I couldn't help but smile and tried not to think about what I knew she was thinking about, I really didn't need the entire world seeing the bulge in my pants at a moment like this.

The rest of the service passed without a hitch, but the formality of it all took away the intimacy that I'd loved about my wedding. There was no kiss as man and wife, no round of applause from the guests, and not a single person showed an ounce of emotion. I knew it was customary for the best man to accompany the maid of honour down the aisle behind the bride and groom, but I had made it clear from the start that the only person I would have at my side was Bella. So, as James and Victoria walked arm in arm towards the doors I waited behind the bridesmaids and both sets of parents, and then held out my hand to Bella.

I chuckled as she looked me up and down, the same mischievous glint in her eye. "How did you enjoy the service?"

"I don't remember a single word of it," she admitted quietly. "I was far too distracted by you in this suit. Could we make an escape soon? I really fucking liked what happened the last time we were at Buckingham Palace."

I groaned as my dick reacted instantly to the memory. "Ssh, love, please. I can't think straight when I think about that."

"Sorry," she said. "I can't help it."

I saw her blush and felt guilty for rejecting her. "Don't you worry though, love. I have plans for you later, just much later... so behave."

"Motherfucking tease," she growled and I laughed.

I stayed with Bella and my family as James and Victoria took centre stage at the front of the cathedral and waved to the crowd before being driven back to the palace in a horse-drawn carriage.

"That was so frickin' dull," Rose hissed. "Boring hymns, boring service, and they haven't even kissed each other yet."

"Yeah, at Eddie's wedding, Bella had already said 'motherfucker' and tried to sneak off for a bit of somethin' somethin'," Emmett boomed.

"Believe me, Em, both of those things could still happen, I'm just working on persuading Edward," Bella said with a wink at me, and Emmett laughed.

After the departure of the bride and groom, and then my parents and grandfather, the rest of the guests who were invited back to Buckingham Palace for the reception, were driven back to the palace in cars and luxury coaches. The actual party was being held in the ballroom, but first there was the matter of photos, so the closest members of family were asked into a private room to take part.

After what seemed like hours of smiling, posing, and watching as others did the same, it was time for one final tradition before the celebrating could really start.

"We have to do what?" Bella shrieked. "Tell me you're fucking kidding?"

I saw a few people look in our direction and pulled Bella to one side. "It will take five minutes tops and everyone will be watching James and Victoria anyway. We can hang back practically out of sight, I promise." I ran my hands up and down her arms.

"Who the fuck does that anyway? I really don't want to..." she grumbled and I stared at her intently, silently trying to persuade her. "Aw, come on, Edward, don't look at me like that, it's lame and you know it. Waving from a motherfucking balcony—really?"

I laughed. "I know it's weird, but it's tradition."

"Motherfucking tradition, I hate tradition." She folded her arms across her chest and sighed. "Fine, but I want it known that I am seriously not impressed."

"Duly noted." I kissed her. "Thank you."

She hummed against my lips and I felt one of her hand run slowly up my back to tangle in the hairs at the back of my neck, while the other discreetly brushed across my dick. I pulled back and narrowed my eyes at her, but she just smirked, knowing exactly what reaction she'd instigated once again.

"Now we really have to stay at the back, otherwise the whole world is going to see just how impressive the Staff is."

"That's not fair," I groaned. "Do you know how uncomfortable it is?"

"Hey, welcome to my fucking world. If I had a dick it would have been permanently hard for the past six months. This pregnancy is killing me."

I tried my best to cover Bella when we stepped outside; I put myself between her and the crowd and waved. All eyes were on my brother and his new wife of course, and the first kiss they shared out on that balcony sent everyone wild.

"As soon as this is done, do you think we can sneak away... just for a little while?" Bella whispered as the couple kissed again. "You have the best man speech later, I'm sure that has you all worked up, and I could help with that."

"Bella..." I rubbed the back of my neck. "The party has barely started, people will notice if we disappear."

"So tell them your pregnant wife needs some air. We could make it really, really quick. Please, baby." She pouted and batted her eyelids.

"Like I could say no," I muttered and she grinned.

Sure enough, as soon as we were shown back into the ballroom for the reception, Bella tried to march me straight back out of the room. Unfortunately, Rose and Em and the rest of my family, rushed to our side.

"Did you wave, Bella?" Rose snorted. "Fuck me, how lame was that? I got Alice to introduce me to some of the guests—I'm so disappointed. They're all such stuck up ass holes."

"Yeah," Bella answered quickly and tugged on my hand.

"So, now it's time to party. Sucks for you though, Bella, huh? No alcohol for another few months yet." Emmett persisted.

"Sucks... yeah... I guess." She tried to walk away again but my parents had now joined us, and I heard her sigh in frustration.

"You okay, Bella? You look all worked up and tense," Rose asked but didn't wait for an answer. She leaned in close and whispered so only we could hear, "I'm so getting Em naked in here as soon as I can. How many times does a girl get the chance to get laid in a fucking palace? I'm surprised you two are still here actually, you normally sneak off the first chance you get."

"Well if my so-called 'friend' would stop looking at my face and look down, she'd see the raging hard-on my husband is sporting and shut the fuck up talking and realize that was our plan. Motherfucking cockblocker." Bella's voice travelled and my mother gasped.

I coughed and blushed, as Rose automatically looked at my crotch briefly before snapping her eyes back to my face. Horrifyingly, it seemed everyone else had done the same because Alice and Esme looked as embarrassed as I was, and my mother looked mortified.

Bella sighed and put her head in her hands, Emmett and Jasper cracked up laughing and I thought I saw a ghost of a smile on my father's face.

"Um... I... um..." I didn't know what to say and laughed with the guys.

Thankfully, the majority understood what Bella was like and saw the funny side to the situation, but my wife was upset.

"God, I should never be allowed out in public—never, never, never." Her eyes were full of tears and I stopped laughing straight away as they spilled over and ran down her face.

"Hey," I said and wiped them away with my thumb. "It's not a big deal, don't get upset." I backed her away from everyone else who looked at her apologetically. "You shouldn't be worried about that, Bella."

"I show you up all the fucking time, Edward. I'm embarrassed but I'm not crying because of that." She sniffed.

I cocked my head and asked, "Why then?"

"Because, I'm so fucking horny, Edward and now we can't go anywhere because everyone will know why. I swear to god, I have something wrong with me, I shouldn't be crying because I can't have sex." She rested her head on my shoulder and I chuckled, wrapping my arms around her tightly.

"It's just your hormones, love. You're so fucking adorable, wait here for a minute okay?" I kissed her and left her by the door, walking back to my family who were watching us carefully.

"Is she okay?" Rose asked and I nodded.

"She's a little embarrassed, so we're going to go for a walk away from everyone. Do me a favour, and don't bring this up when we get back, Em, please, she's really emotional right now," I said to my cousin and he nodded.

"Bless her," Esme said. "Tell her not to worry, Edward. We all understand it's just her hormones... it's a strange time being pregnant. I was an emotional nightmare wasn't I, Carlisle?"

Carlisle laughed and nodded furiously. "She once burst into tears because I had my hair cut, she felt sorry for the hairs that were being trimmed."

I rejoined Bella and took her to one of the guest suites in the palace. She sat on the bed and kicked off her shoes. "Can we just skip the entire party and spend the evening in here? I don't mean for sex, I just like the quiet time with you. Everyone keeps staring at my stomach and whispering."

I crouched in front of her and held her face in my hands. "I know things like this aren't much fun, but they don't happen very often, love. We'll probably be back for my father's coronation, but apart from that, we can just get back to our life in Forks. When this little one makes an appearance, we're going to make sure we keep his or her life as normal as we can, I don't want the way I grew up to be what our child has to experience."

"Normal? Are you fucking kidding me?" Bella scoffed. "With a mother who blurts shit out all the time, and a grandmother who is likely to poison us all at some point—the poor kid is going to need counselling."

I chuckled and kissed her softly, feeling her immediately start tugging at my jacket. I let her push it from my shoulders and then we carefully peeled off the rest of our clothes piece by piece. I tried not to think about how difficult it had been to fix my cravat earlier, and refused to wonder how the hell I was going to get it fastened again when we got redressed. I looked down at my wife lying on the bed and smiled proudly.

"You look so beautiful like that," I whispered.

Bella's hair was sprawled out on the pillow behind her head, and a blush swept across her cheeks as I stared. Resting my hand on her cheek I leaned over and kissed her, I carefully rolled onto my back, pulling her with me and she straddled my waist. We continued to kiss and remain still for a few minutes, before she shifted over me and rose up on her knees before lowering herself back down, moaning as our bodies connected.

I moved with her, caressing every inch of skin I could with my hands, and fighting to keep my eyes open to watch her come undone. Her head rolled back and I saw her fingers clutch at the bedding, it proved too much for me and I buried my face into the crook of her neck as I came.

"See, if we stayed here for the rest of the night, we could stay naked and do that whenever we wanted," Bella argued as I begged her to get dressed so we could rejoin the party.

"I'd love that, I really would, but we can't, Bella. Please, love, get dressed for me, we really need to get back." I growled in frustration as I failed time and time again to fasten my goddamn cravat. "How the hell do I tie this bloody thing?"

"Hang on, I'll do it." She stopped protesting and slipped back into her dress and shoes. I watched as she concentrated on tidying me up, and grinned.

"One positive thing about this is we get to undress each other all over again later."

Her eyes snapped to mine and she smiled. "Very good point, Mr. Cullen."

I took Bella the long way back to the Ballroom, walking in through the doors which led out onto the gardens, purposely to try and give the impression we had been for a walk outside. The bride and groom were still mingling with the guests before the sit-down meal commenced, and no one appeared to have missed us.

There was no official "head table", instead, large circular tables which seated ten people were dotted all over the room. When it was time to begin, Bella and I sat with my parents, grandfather, Victoria's parents and the bride and groom in preparation for the speeches. I took a deep breath as the master of ceremonies invited Victoria's father to stand and address the guests.

The nervous-looking man paid thanks to my parents for helping prepare Victoria for the new life she would be starting and thanked James for making her happy. There were no jokes, or light-hearted threats about looking after his daughter, and the entire room seemed relieved when he took his seat again and my brother was announced as the next speaker.

James took a long drink of champagne and stood to a round of applause from everyone.

"I know the speech you're all waiting for is the one from the scared-looking man sitting on my right, so I'll make this as brief as I can. Admittedly, I never expected to be in this situation at all. I found weddings laughable, the idea of wanting to spend the rest of one's life with the same person was baffling, but now I am one of those men I pitied. I am honoured to have a woman like Victoria agree to sacrifice so much to spend her life with me, and there isn't anything I could do for her to even begin to show her how thankful I am for that.

I want to thank each and every one of you for sharing this day with my wife and I, and I hope you all have a wonderful evening." He picked up his glass and raised it to a chorus of cheers. "Now for the one you have all been waiting for, my brother—Edward."

Bella squeezed my leg under the table and I stood up. "Hello," I said lamely. "It is really nice to be here with everyone today and I had rather hoped I would have had the chance to consume much more alcohol before I had to do this. It seems unfair really, considering my brother only had to carry out his duties as best man in front of less than twenty people."

I took a breath as a few people laughed. "As I'm sure everyone here knows, a lot of things have happened over the last few years. I think the fact that we are all here today, enjoying this wonderful occasion is testament to our strength to move forward and even though I no longer take an active role, it makes me incredibly proud to be a part of this family."

I saw my father nod once, and continued, "I think both my brother and I were naïve when we were growing up about the importance of having someone by your side. I know I underestimated just how much a person can change your life, and how the simple things can bring you so much more happiness when you have someone special to share them with. I also know from experience that it is with the support of that one person who means the most; you are able to come through anything life has to throw at you. I was never more thankful than the day I met my wife, because those moments change something in you forever, as I'm sure everyone here will agree." I looked down and saw Bella beaming at me, her eyes once again filled with tears. I placed my hand on her shoulder and she put her hand over mine. I looked back up and added the last few lines of my speech, "Bearing that in mind, I have to thank Victoria, because it is clear that her love and support has already made a significant difference to my brother, and I have every confidence that will carry through to their future life together."

I picked up my glass and raised it in the air. "If you would all join me in raising your glasses and making a toast to the bride and groom. James and Victoria, here is to a long and happy life together."

"James and Victoria." The guests chorused and I sat back down with a sigh.

"Now I remember just how much I hated public speaking before," I mumbled and finished another glass of champagne. "Thank God that is done with."

"It was a great speech... I think all the women combusted when you looked down at my sister-in-law," James said. "Just like that, two of the most desirable men on the planet are both officially off the market."

"Thank you, Edward. It really was lovely," Victoria offered quietly. "It made James so happy to know you could be here for this."

I smiled and nodded. "I'm glad I didn't have to miss it."

"I love you," Bella whispered in my ear.

"I love you too, Bella. Always."

My brother and sister-in-law had opted for a more informal meal for their guests, and rather than a set five-course menu, the servers brought out a selection of what they called, finger-foods. I had eaten a whole assortment of foods over the years, but these were not to my liking and I had to stifle a smile as Bella's nose turned up at the fancy concoction presented to her.

"What is that?" she asked quietly and pushed the food around on her plate.

"The server said it was Quail's Eggs and salted celery, and the other you chose is poached Asparagus Spears. It's supposed to be quite tasty," I whispered unconvincingly, and Bella sighed.

"What the fuck is a Quail? Why can't these people just eat normal food for God's sake? I really don't think I can eat it, Edward... it makes me feel sick." She looked at me apologetically and I put my hand over hers.

"James?" I asked. "I'm really sorry but Bella has had a very queasy stomach since she became pregnant. I don't suppose there is anything else she could have?" I saw Victoria's mother purse her lips and I thought she was about to object, so I added, "I'm sure you understand how difficult it is when the menu doesn't suit your taste, Victoria? After all, the best chef's are able to rustle up another dish quickly, rather like Aro arranged for you at our wedding."

Victoria nodded quickly and gave her mother a sharp look, before saying, "Of course, Bella, I'm so sorry. I really should have asked what you were comfortable eating." She waved over her wedding planner and asked for another dish for my wife.

Within ten minutes, Bella was tucking into a fillet of beef without the horseradish mousse we all had to endure, and a combination of the vegetables from across the other dishes. I watched on in envy as she polished off every last morsel.

"So, as soon as we are done with the dessert we are really going to celebrate," James said excitedly. "I do hope you have no objections to your husband consuming a large amount of alcohol, Bella? You remember just how well my brother, Emmett and I can party?"

"James, please remember we still have to maintain respectability. There are very important guests here." My mother said and shook her head and I rolled my eyes. "It's a good thing my sister is here, otherwise I dread to think what her son would get up to."

"That is a good point, Mother. If I remember rightly, at Edward's bachelor party, he ended up half-naked in bed with his legs wrapped around his brother-in-law," James snickered. "Did I ever show you that photo?"

"That's exactly my point, can you imagine what would happen if that were to happen here?" My mother took a sip of her wine.

"Well, Elizabeth, if that were to happen then maybe the majority of the public wouldn't see the Royal family as a set of stuffy, upper-class twits who walk around like they have a poker stuffed up their motherfucking ass. Did I get that right, Bella dear?" I heard Bella choke and looked around the table to see everyone else gaping at my grandfather who was sitting with a huge smile on his face. "You're absolutely right; it is wonderful to let the inappropriate things out."

"Um... I didn't necessarily mean here, I just meant it was good to get things off your chest," Bella mumbled and her cheeks flushed bright red. "In private might have been the best time to actually do it."

"No, I think I chose the perfect time, judging by the look on every face at this table. Now, I agree with James, we're at a wedding, and weddings are supposed to be a time to celebrate. In my day, I'd show you boys how it's really done, but given my age I think it's best if I sit this one out. Edward, James, you leave your wives here with me and go and party with Emmett and the rest of your guests." My grandfather winked at Bella and Victoria.

"Absolutely not," I wrapped my arm tightly around Bella's shoulder. "I think we'll have more fun staying right where we are and celebrating with you. What do you think, James?"

"Definitely. You're getting far too frisky, Granddad, I don't think you can be trusted with our women alone. And if I catch you winking at my wife again, I'll ask security to remove you," James joked.

My grandfather laughed. "I think this party might just be the most fun I've had in years, and because it was so much fun last time I said it, I'm going to say it again." He picked up a glass of champagne and drank it quickly. "Motherfucking cheers!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thank you all so so much for reading and reviewing. I'm desperately trying to finish the last chapter, but it is still not ready! I am about halfway through and it seems to be running out of control, so I think I'm going to split it in half. I will do my best to post the first part of it next Sunday.**

**Huge thanks to Prettyflour, Jaime Arkin, and Twifanmom who have been an amazing help :D**

**Bye for now,**

**Katy**

**xoxo**


	25. Chapter 24  Baby Shower And Boys Night

**A/N - Here's the first half of what was the final chapter! **

Chapter 24 Baby Shower And Boys Night 

BPOV

"Motherfucking global warming my ass! It's more like global freezing." I muttered. The past few weeks had turned bitterly cold, and there had even been a warning for snow. "Are you sure the heat is on, Edward? It should be warmer than this."

Edward chuckled and pulled me closer to him. We were banished upstairs while our home was transformed in preparation for my baby-shower this evening. My good friends, Aro and Markus, had insisted on flying over to Forks once again so they could throw me one of their, apparently, world-famous baby-showers. While all the women were celebrating in the lounge, the men were also having a little get-together of their own. Emmett had wanted to have one final boys night out, but given the short supply of bars in Forks, they decided to stay inside to have their fun.

"The heat is definitely on, love. I can hear them bringing things inside from the car, so that's probably where the draft is coming from." He kissed the side of my head.

"Well they'd better fucking hurry up and finish. I'm going to get frostbite at this rate...I might even have it already, but I wouldn't know given the fact I can't see my motherfucking toes," I huffed, and Edward laughed again. "Don't laugh at me, Edward, I'm serious. Anything south of my bump I can't fucking see."

Edward sat up and slid down the bed. His hand ran down my leg and slowly pulled off my socks. "Nope, your toes are still perfectly pink, Bella. Not a sign of frostbite. I know how to warm you up."

My heart leaped, Edward had been particularly stingy when it came to sex, recently. All because stupid Dr. Taylor thought we should avoid "love-making" after I had a few contractions when I was thirty-six weeks along. We panicked and the hospital did manage to stop the labor, but Edward thought it was his fault, and had insisted we follow her advice until the baby was born.

"I didn't mean sex, Bella. I was just going to run you a bath, that's all." He sighed, and I pouted. "Please, love, you heard what the doctor said, it might have been sex which started the contractions. I don't want to hurt the baby."

"But, I'm due next week, Edward, and technically thirty-seven weeks is full term... we can be really careful... please?" I begged shamelessly. "Who knows when we'll get to do it again? After I experience childbirth I may want to chop your fucking dick off, and what if the kid is a devil-child and never sleeps? We will be too tired to do anything remotely sex-related, and then we'll forget how to do it. Oh crap, we'll be one of those married couples that wear crusty pyjamas and leather slippers, and discuss the interest rate in bed... we may never have sex again-"

Edward's hand clamped over my mouth and I could see him laughing. "Bella, slow down. Trust me, as soon as you get the all-clear from the doctor, I will be attacking you every fucking chance I get, and we'll never discuss anything finance-related in bed."

I tugged his hand away and argued, "But what if I want to chop your dick off? You might have to sleep in another room, because I have nightmares about childbirth and come after you with a hack saw. Please, baby, for old times' sake?"

He kissed me softly, and I thought I had him, but he pulled away far too quickly and climbed off the bed. "I'm going to run you a bath, and we are going to stop talking about this. The doctor said it was a bad idea, Bella."

"Motherfucking doctor knows shit," I grumbled under my breath, and as Edward disappeared into the bathroom, my frustration found another escape and I felt tears run down my cheeks.

I sat on the bed and tried to wipe them away so Edward wouldn't know, but they were relentless. Doubt also started to creep into my unstable mind, and I wondered if this was really about the doctor... did he think I was a fat bastard, a motherfucking whale? Did my fat ankles and rapidly expanding ass repulse him?

"Bella, please tell me that's not really what you think?" Edward's voice made me jump and I looked over my shoulder to see him standing in the doorway. As soon as he saw my face, he had his answer and he strode straight over to me. "Nothing about you repulses me you crazy woman. I love you, and you're just as beautiful now as you always have been. I spend most of the night with a damned hard-on just sleeping next to you, and it really is just heeding the doctor's advice."

"There could have been so many things that made those contractions start that day, Edward. Mom took me out for dinner, and the food was really spicy. Then we went shopping, and I was walking around for ages... can't you remember?" I tangled my fingers in his hair, and pulled his face close to mine. "We can be _really_ careful. Please, Edward... if it feels uncomfortable or painful, I'll tell you, I promise... it can't hurt to try, right?"

I kissed him, and at first he held back, but then he groaned and carefully pushed me back onto the bed.

_Motherfucking yes!_

Edward was beyond careful with me, removing my clothes like he was undressing a china doll that was likely to break. I could see him watching, studying my face for any sign of discomfort or pain, and believe me, there was nothing but pure elation. I'd been waiting weeks for this.

My eyes rolled to the back of my head, as Edward began kissing all over my body. "You should know exactly how much I want you, and I mean all the time, Bella. It's been fucking killing me not touching you."

Now, Edward on top was just not possible, my bump was just too big, and I'd suffocate the poor guy if I went on top, so I lay on my side, with Edward behind me. He lifted my leg and just the feeling of his head pressing inside me drove me wild. I turned my head and kissed him, reassuring him to keep going. When he pushed into me fully, he moaned really fucking loudly.

"Shit, that's so fucking good," he breathed into my ear. "Stupid fucking doctor..."

It didn't matter that he moved his hips back and forth painfully slowly; being with him like this was more than enough for me. His lips brushed against my shoulder, and one hand lazily drifted down my body and in between my legs, pressing against my already sensitive skin. It wasn't long before an almighty fucking orgasm rippled through me, and Edward swore as my body clamped down around him. His hold on my hips tightened and with a little more intensity he thrust inside and then stilled.

"Thank you," I whispered. "That was incredible."

"It always is," he said in response. "Do you feel okay?"

"Perfect." I had a huge satisfied grin on my face, and I could feel my face flush. "See, there is no need to abstain, we can keep doing that right?"

"When do I ever say no?" he asked, and then chuckled. "Apart from the last few weeks, that is. If you're still okay later, then I don't see a problem with what we've just done... just don't tell Dr. Taylor."

Instead of taking a bath, we showered together, and we were just getting dressed, when I heard Markus call out from downstairs.

"Cinderbella, it's almost six-thirty... we've told everyone to be here at seven promptly, so you should get that booty of yours downstairs."

"We'll be down in a few minutes," I answered.

"Are you excited?" Edward asked.

"Am I excited to watch while everyone else gets completely drunk and I have to stick to soda? Yes, I can't fucking wait." I rolled my eyes. "I really am grateful, but I'm going to feel like a bore."

"Well, when they're all too far gone to notice, you and me can slip away and celebrate on our own." Edward winked.

"I'll hold you to that, and you can drink as much as you like. I love drunk Edward; he's so much easier to lead astray." I giggled and let Edward lead me out of the bedroom and towards the stairs.

"It's snowing..." he said quietly. "It looks pretty doesn't it?"

It did look pretty, but then snow always does when you're looking at it from inside. Huge, fluffy, white flakes were swirling and tumbling from the sky. To my dismay though, I noticed it was settling easy on the cold ground outside.

"They did say we were likely to get heavy snow," I said. "I hope it doesn't stay for long... I don't like the idea of being snowed in so close to my due-date."

Edward frowned and then shook his head. "It'll be fine, love. If it gets deep, Emmett and I can shovel it from the drive in the morning, and the roads will be cleared before we need to go anywhere. Besides, you're not due for another week, it won't last until then."

He tried to sound confident, but I knew my husband, and he was worrying. No doubt, he'd be forming a plan in his head right now, and it wouldn't surprise me if he had the guys clearing the drive instead of enjoying his party.

"There you are! I thought I was going to have to come up those stairs and get you myself." Markus skipped over to us.

He actually looked very smart in a white shirt, bow tie, waistcoat and a pair of pants. Granted the pants were a little on the tight side, but given this was a private party I fully expected him in a leotard or tutu.

The downstairs of our house had been completely reorganised. The island in the middle of the kitchen was full of bottles of wine and beer, and trays of food. From here I could see our lounge was decorated in banners, balloons, and there was a table in the far corner with a cake on.

"You've been busy," I said and Markus nodded emphatically.

"Anything for my Cinderbella and her Prince. Now, what can I get you both to drink? A wine or a beer, Edward?" he asked.

"Beer is fine, thank you," he answered, and Markus looked at me.

"Why are you even asking? I can't have anything but soda," I muttered.

"I beg to differ. My Aro has been making you a very special cocktail. It's fabulous, and unique and alcohol-free. Let me get you a glass." He turned to walk away and I burst out laughing.

"What the fuck are you wearing?" I asked between laughs.

Markus' relatively tame "uniform" was a completely different outfit from the back. In glittery print on the back of his waistcoat was, "Aro's bitch," and his pants had two huge cut outs on each ass-cheek.

"Do you like it? I've had this for a while, but never had the opportunity to wear it," Markus sang, and wiggled his ass in our direction. "Aro has one similar, I knew you wouldn't mind if we put them on."

I looked at Edward, who was looking everywhere but in front of him and smirked. "I don't mind, and I doubt the girls will either, but the guys are going to flip out."

"Trust me, Cinderbella, I can handle any man." Markus winked at Edward who blushed. "What I'd give to see you in a pair of these trousers. I bet that bottom of yours is delicious."

"Quit eye-fucking my husband, and go fetch our drinks. Call yourself a professional?" I joked, and Markus saluted me dramatically before skipping away.

Just a few minutes later, our friends and family started to arrive. Angela, Jess, Rose and Emmett were first. They looked around the room and grinned.

"Fuck, these guys really know how to throw a party, tonight is going to be fucking awesome," Jess said, and gave me a hug.

"Too right it is, but us men are going to show you how it's really done. And we won't need Markus or Aro to rock it out," Emmett said confidently, but Rose scoffed.

"Please, I give you an hour and I guarantee you'll be crashing our party. You have no idea just what we have planned for Bella." She looked at me and smiled. "You're going to have so much fun, girl."

"Why do I suddenly feel fucking scared to death?" I asked. "Maybe we should wait and do this after the baby is born, that way I can drink myself into oblivion and avoid utter humiliation at the hands of my friends."

Another car came to a stop on our drive, and my parents quickly ran inside. "It's getting really heavy out there," my mom said and dusted the snow from her jacket. "How is everybody? I'm so excited—oh my god, Markus, look at your outfit!"

Markus squealed and hugged my mom tightly. "Look at you sexy-mama, you look too fabulous to be a nana!"

"Why in god's name would any man want to wear shit like that?" My dad grumbled. "They are staying with you, Bells, right? They're far too flighty for me... I need beer and man-talk, not squealing and jazz-hands."

Edward laughed. "Emmett and I are right there with you, Charlie."

Esme, Carlisle, Alice and Jasper were the last ones to arrive. Alice and Jasper had recently made the move across the Atlantic, and were living in Port Angeles, and Esme was delighted to have all of her family close by.

"That was a tough drive, even the main roads are getting treacherous," Carlisle said. "There's just not enough traffic about to keep them clear. If you need some help clearing your drive tomorrow, I'll help."

My dad immediately offered too, and the men agreed to come back here in the morning to shovel away the snow. As they were talking, I felt my stomach tighten. I'd been getting Braxton Hicks for weeks now, and they had slowly been getting a little more painful. I kept quiet for a few minutes, until it passed and then rejoined the conversation.

Now everyone was here, Markus ushered the women into the lounge and told us to sit down. They brought out drinks, and I loved the cocktail they'd made just for me. The food was simple but delicious, and I started having a great time.

I was given lots of amazing gifts for the baby. Clothes, stuffed-toys, decorations for the nursery and Alice had put together a beautiful basket full of toiletries, nappies, and creams. When I thought I'd opened everything, another bag was brought out and I was told these gifts were for me.

I rummaged around, and immediately started blushing. "What the fuck is all this?"

"Well, after you've had a child, your body is... different, Bella. It's just some things you might want to use to keep things spicy," my mom said. "Trust me, your father and I have been reaping the rewards of having an open mind to these things."

Inside there were dildos, handcuffs, whips, blindfolds, and god knows what else. There was also a wooden hand-massager. "Now this looks like something I could use now," I said.

"Yes, I have one of those, and goodness it feels wonderful," Esme agreed.

"Shall I give you a demonstration, Cinderbella?" Aro asked and I shook my head.

"I'm good for now, but someone else can give it a go?" I offered and my mom stuck her hand up immediately. "There, test it out on Mom."

Aro instructed her to lie on the floor face down, and then he straddled her, sitting just below her backside.

"I'm very jealous, Renee, my Aro is exceptional with toys such as those," Markus said. "I get to go next."

As soon as Aro started rolling it up and down my mom's back, she began to moan really fucking loudly, "Oh my God, that's amazing. That spot right there, oh yes, yes, yes!"

The sight made me laugh, and laughing seemed to trigger another Braxton Hick contraction. No one noticed that I fell silent, and soon enough it passed once again. Within minutes we heard the floor creak by the doorway to the lounge and Rose giggled. "See, I knew they wouldn't be able to resist. Crank it up a notch, Renee. This is going to be fun."

With even more volume, my mom continued to moan and as she did, Rose tiptoed to the door and flung it open. Five heads appeared in the doorway, their eyes wide and their mouths hanging open.

"And just what the fuck do you think you're doing? Is your party so much fun, you have to eavesdrop on ours?" Rose asked sternly and Emmett held out his hands.

"Please baby, let us stay... we've been talking about college funds, insurance premiums and funeral costs. I can't take any more."

"What he said," Jasper added with a thumb in Emmett's direction. "I don't know what the hell is going on in here, but it sounds like a man's dream."

"Can I just ask why there is a man sitting on my wife's ass, and why does she sound like she's having an orgasm? Renee?" Dad asked.

"Aro is just giving me a massage, honey." Renee stood and sighed. "That was beyond fantastic. We are getting one of those, Charlie."

Edward walked over and sat beside me. I nestled into his side, and said, "Now I can really enjoy myself. Were you really talking about funerals?"

He chuckled. "Yes, it started off as a conversation about how expensive children are, and then digressed into the importance of having a good insurance policy, so you didn't leave your kids to pay for your funeral. It definitely wasn't as much fun as your party sounded. Are you having fun?"

"Yeah, I am. We've got some really beautiful gifts, Edward, and you seem to have joined us at the perfect time." I craned my neck up and kissed him.

"It's good to know that you two can't sneak off anywhere, now you've been put on a sex ban," Rose snickered. "I bet you want to claw that doctors eyes out for that, don't you?"

_Motherfucking cock blocking Dr. Taylor. She only did that because she wanted some of the staff for herself. She was wrong though wasn't she? We had sex this afternoon, and guess what... no motherfucking labor. _

"Bella," Edward said with an exasperated sigh. "Dr. Taylor is just looking out for the baby."

"I say bullshit, she wanted you to be sexually frustrated when we went to our appointments so she could try and seduce you. I understand why, you're hot stuff, baby," I told him and he smirked.

"Bella, you're fucking nuts," Angela said. "Totally fucking nuts."

I shrugged and then felt another pain. I say pain, because this one hurt a hell of a lot more than the others had. It also lasted longer than I was used to, but I brushed it off. I wasn't due for another week, and at my last appointment, the baby hadn't even engaged. No, it wasn't happening now... I hoped.

Now the two parties had merged, we had to try and decide how to amuse ourselves. Even though I was filled with awful memories of the last time we'd all attempted to play Pictionary, everyone seemed to like the idea of playing another team-game.

We were split into teams, and this time we decided to play charades. Aro and Markus looked particularly excitable at the idea, but I wasn't impressed. Besides, having my husband on the same team, I was once again lumbered with my mom and Jess. We also got Markus, and the idiot was too giddy to make any sense.

His attempt at acting out _Kung Fu Panda_, had consisted of him crawling around on the floor with his fingers making what looked to be glasses over his eyes-which we were later told were patches. He also pretended to eat something with chopsticks, which completely lost us.

"Oh my goodness, you're imagination is appalling." He sulked when he didn't come close to guessing correctly. "It was _Kung Fu Panda._"

"Then why the hell were you pretending to eat with motherfucking chopsticks?" I shrieked and he frowned.

"Kung Fu is a Chinese dish, Cinderbella, surely you know that?" he asked in disbelief.

"No it's not," I told him. "It's fucking martial arts, you dumb-ass."

Markus patted my head. "Poor, Cinderbella, you're so confused. Kung Fu is the tasty egg dish."

The other team found the entire scene hilarious, and Edward too was laughing. "Um, Markus, I think you're thinking of Foo-Yung."

"Oh dear, I am sorry. Perhaps playing this game wasn't the best idea." He sat down sadly.

Esme was the next to go, and had the others not guessed it straight away, I would have loved her attempt to do the scene from _Basic Instinct _in which Sharon Stone uncrosses her legs in the interrogation room to reveal much more than her panties. Emmett was a mixture of elation at wining the point, and despair as Esme made a remark about doing a similar thing to Carlisle while they were at dinner a few months earlier.

"So, I think Charlie should go next," Renee suggested.

"I'd much rather not," Charlie said. "Can't someone else go?"

"We need this point, Dad," I told him and he sighed,

I saw his face fall when he read his card. "Can I please change this?"

"No, Chief Swan, just because you've picked a tough one doesn't mean you get to put it back," Emmett answered.

"It's not tough, Emmett, it's just going to be embarrassing."

He wasn't allowed to change it, so under protest he started giving out his clues.

"A movie... Four words..." I said and Charlie nodded.

He put his face in his hands and started to moan, "Mmm, oh God."

Emmett was just about to object that he was supposed to mime the clues when I heard Rose burst out laughing. "We have to hear this... trust me, Em. Let him do it," she whispered to him.

We watched on in confusion, as Charlie's quiet moans got louder and more suggestive. I felt Edward shaking with laughter beside me; Renee, too, was in hysterics. As I watched it suddenly dawned on me what he was trying to do, and if I understood then surely the others had to know it too?

I was just about to guess when Mom stopped me. "No, it's worth losing the point to hear him doing this," she said.

So, our team kept quiet, and watched as Dad got more into the groove and began screaming out, "Yes! YES! YES!"

We heard the timer ping, and my dad looked at us in desperation. "How could you not get that? Seriously, how the hell could you not get that?"

"Oh, we got it, Charlie, but it was too much fun to interrupt you," Mom said, and the whole room agreed.

I couldn't stop laughing, and it made me need to pee. I stood up, and excused myself. "I'll be right back."

Edward jumped to his feet and held my arm. "Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Yes." I nodded. "I just need to go to the toilet."

"Do you need me to come with you?"

"No, I can pee without assistance thanks," I said. "Relax, Edward, I'm fine."

I left the room, and slowly trudged upstairs, but when I got to the top, I started having another pain; I held onto the banister and caught my breath.

"Damn motherfucking Braxton Hicks," I muttered.

EPOV

"She's been up there for a while. Do you think I should check she's okay?" I asked.

"Let the girl have a minute's peace, Edward," Rose told me impatiently. "I'm sure she would shout you if she needed anything. Or is this some sneaky tactic to get her alone so you two can catch up on the sex you've been missing out on?"

I ignored her, and instead listened out for Bella coming back downstairs. I felt unsettled, and was just about to go upstairs anyway when I heard my wife calling me.

"See, I told you they were being sneaky," Rose said. "He'll go upstairs and pretty soon we'll hear some more of Charlie's sex noises."

"I'm going to see what she wants, and then you can be sure we'll both be back down. I have no intention of doing anything else but checking she's alright." I raced up the stairs and saw Bella sitting on the toilet looking worried. "Bella? What's wrong?"

"I can't stop..." she whispered and I cocked my head.

"Can't stop what?" I asked and crouched in front of her.

"Leaking..."

Leaking... waters... labor... baby... oh fuck!

* * *

><p><strong>AN - I know it's a nasty place to finish, but I have the next update just about written, so I _should_ be able to post next Sunday!**

**Thank you for reading & to Prettyflour & Twifanmom for prereading at the very last minute for me!**

**See you next week!**

**Katy**

**xoxo**


	26. Chapter 25  It's A Motherfucking Baby!

**A/N Here's the last official chapter... **

Chapter 25 – It's A Motherfucking Baby!

EPOV

_I raced up the stairs and saw Bella sitting on the toilet looking worried. "Bella? What's wrong?"_

"_I can't stop..." she whispered and I cocked my head._

"_Can't stop what?" I asked and crouched in front of her._

"_Leaking..."_

_Leaking... waters... labor... baby... oh motherfucking fuck!_

"Leaking? As in you think your waters are breaking?" I swallowed nervously. Bella wasn't due for another week, the weather was abysmal, and the roads would be treacherous.

"Maybe not... it could be something else..." she said weakly.

"Such as?"

She let out a sigh and put her face in her hands. "Either it's my waters, or I'm fucking incontinent. It can't happen now, Edward, not with the snow. I'll never get to the fucking hospital."

I reached out to take her hands, and realized mine were shaking. "Bella, don't worry, even if it is the start of things, we know first-time labors take hours. We have plenty of time to get you to the hospital. Are you having any pains yet?"

"Well, I was getting more tightening kind of pains downstairs, but I just thought it was because I was laughing... they didn't really hurt either. But I had one just before I shouted you and that was more painful than the others." She bit her lip and leaned forward to rest her head on mine.

Neither of us moved for a few minutes, so of course our prolonged absence made everyone assume we were up to no good and soon enough people congregated at the foot of the stairs heckling us.

"You're so full of shit, Edward," Rose yelled. "Charlie is about ready to blow a gasket down here."

"We're not doing shit!" Bella shouted. "Tell my mom I want her."

"Why?" Rose asked, her voice a little softer. "What's going on?"

"I just want to ask her something, please, Rose."

I heard Rose call out to Renee, and within seconds, Bella's mother was in the doorway to the bathroom.

"Bella, sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I think my waters have broken," Bella said surprisingly calmly.

Renee gasped and darted quickly to kneel beside me. "Are you having contractions?"

"Yes...a few, but they aren't too bad... I thought they were just Braxton Hicks."

"You stay here, I'll ask Charlie and the boys to clear the snow from the drive just in case we need to go to the hospital," Renee said and squeezed Bella's hand reassuringly. "Edward, it might be a good idea to ask Carlisle to come upstairs and take a look to make sure everything is okay with Bella."

I nodded and was just about to stand when Bella lost her cool.

"And what exactly would Carlisle be 'taking a look at'?" She glared at her mother. "I fucking hope you aren't suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

Renee chuckled and said, "Bella, don't be silly. Carlisle is a doctor, he can help."

"Carlisle, has spent the last three years operating on people. So unless he plans on performing surgery on my fucking vagina, I don't think he has any fucking business down there!" She looked horrified.

"Bella love, he can just have a quick look and see what's what," I tried to placate her, and Renee scurried out of the bathroom calling out for Carlisle. "It's no big deal."

"Oh sure, no big deal. You're right, baby, let's get your _uncle _to examine me, and when we're finally ready to have sex again, I can remind you of the fact your _uncle_ was the last person to have his motherfucking fingers in my motherfucking ladygarden."

"Yeah, you're right." I grimaced, and saw Bella smirk. "We are going straight to the fucking hospital so your doctor can examine you."

Renee was following Carlisle back towards the bathroom, and I stopped him. "Carlisle, please don't take offense, but Bella really doesn't want you to examine her... you know... down there. I think, it's probably better if we just go to the hospital, she's getting herself all worked up."

Carlisle smiled and nodded. "I understand, Edward. Let me just listen to the baby's heartbeat and see if I can determine it's position and then we can drive her straight there. Can you lay on the bed for me, Bella?"

As soon as she stood, I saw her tense and hold her stomach. She clung onto my arm, and I could see she was in pain.

"A contraction?" Carlisle asked and she nodded after almost a minute. "Renee, would you make a note of the time now, and then every time Bella has another pain?"

Carlisle pressed his fingers to Bella's wrist, and then using his stethoscope, he listened to the baby. He smiled and said, "Not the best thing to listen with, but good enough for now. Everything sounds fine, can I just feel your stomach, Bella?"

"Yes," she croaked nervously.

"You haven't noticed any bleeding since you started having the contractions have you?"

"No, nothing at all," Bella replied nervously.

"Good," Carlisle mused. He spent a few minutes carefully checking for the baby's position, and when he was satisfied all was well, he held out his hand to help my wife back to her feet. "Try your best to keep mobile. I'm sure your obstetrician has been through that with you? I'll come back up in ten minutes or so and check on you, but for now I'll help the others clear that snow. If you need me for anything else, just shout and I'll be right back. Okay?"

"Bella, where's your bag? I'll take it downstairs, and have Charlie put it in the car so we can head straight off," Renee asked and I pointed towards the nursery.

"It's in the baby's room, there are two bags. One for Bella, and one for the baby, you can't miss them." I kept my eyes on Bella, and just as Renee returned with the bags in her hands, my wife closed her eyes and prepared herself for another contraction, which had begun to build.

"I'll tell Carlisle she had another pain. That was ten minutes from the last one. Nothing to worry about yet, sweetie." Bella's mother forced a smile, but it was clear even the usually calm and unflappable Renee was starting to worry.

"Ow," Bella whimpered. "Really motherfucking ow, Edward. They're getting worse... fuck I thought I could handle this. God I'm such a wimp."

"I'm sorry, love. I wish I could do something to help... we'll be at the hospital soon, and you can have all the pain relief you want." I rubbed her back to try and soothe her, but I was a fucking mess. Nervous, excited, scared, thrilled, and frustrated because there was absolutely nothing I could do but hold her hand.

"It might be better if we go downstairs now, the others might help distract me," Bella said quietly.

"Whatever you want," I answered, and carefully I escorted her down each step.

I had expected to be met with a swarm of people all fretting about Bella, but the only one still inside was Alice, who rushed straight over to us.

"Bella, do you need anything? I can't believe you're going to have your baby now—it's amazing."

"Amazing isn't quite where I am right now. I'll be amazed when I'm at the hospital and pumped full of drugs," Bella said, but I saw her eyes twinkle and she smiled at me. "This time tomorrow we might be parents."

I grinned and kissed her softly. "I can't wait, but right now I'm trying to concentrate on doing whatever I can to support you, love."

"You already are, Edward. I just need to look at it as every contraction is one less contraction until the baby comes." She looked around the room and asked, "Where the fuck is everyone else?"

Alice chuckled and ushered her towards the back door. "They're all outside digging away the snow. Just look at Markus and Aro, the lights are reflecting off the arse-patches on their trousers."

"Rose is digging? Jesus, I hope you caught that on film," Bella said. "Is it that bad out there?"

Alice looked nervously at me and then told us, "It's pretty bad, yeah, but Emmett's jeep can handle the snow, no problem. He's going to drive you and Edward, but Carlisle is coming along just in case..."

"Just in case? Just in case the jeep gets stuck in the snow which hasn't been cleared from the roads and my wife has to deliver this kid in the back seat of a car in the middle of motherfucking nowhere?" I started to panic, and this time it was Bella who rubbed my back to try and calm me down.

"That won't happen, Edward, don't start stressing out." Bella sounded surprisingly relaxed, and I took a few deep breaths.

"I'm sorry, that was unnecessary, I need to keep my head." I focused all my attention on Bella and forced myself to forget about the weather and the worries about getting to the hospital.

Our family and friends worked like troopers and it seemed like no time at all before they had the drive cleared as well as they could. Emmett and Charlie were the last ones to come in, as they had scattered some rock salt to try and keep the snow, which was still falling, from settling so we could get off the drive and start our journey to the hospital.

Bella's contractions were now coming more rapidly, and although she tried to insist she was handling it, I could see straight through her. She couldn't stay still, and rocked back and forth on the spot as she dealt with the pain. I had also noticed that the contractions were lasting much longer than before-everything seemed to have intensified dramatically in the last forty-five minutes.

Carlisle was still satisfied that the baby seemed okay, but he was anxious to get Bella to the hospital just so our obstetrician could check both of them out with the proper equipment.

"Right, we're good to go. The road doesn't look too bad, but we need to take it steady," Emmett said, and walked over to Bella and I. "Shall we get going?"

Bella smiled. "Sure, but I'm never going to be able to climb up into that jeep, I might need some help."

"That's what we're here for," Emmett said softly.

"After Emmett drops you off at the hospital, he's coming straight back for me and Esme. Remember, deep breaths, sweetie, and I promise you'll be fine." Renee had tears in her eyes as she gave Bella one last hug. "I love you, and you're going to make such a wonderful Mommy."

"Don't cry, I already feel like bawling my eyes out, Mom," Bella said, and Renee chuckled. "I love you too, so much more now I understand a little better what you went through to have me... Jesus, I thought you were exaggerating as usual."

"It's beyond worth it, sweetie. Trust me, you'll understand soon enough. Now you'd better move before the snow settles again." Renee walked with us to the jeep, and this time everyone was at Bella's side to wish us well.

Emmett and I carefully helped Bella into the back seat, but almost straight away I could see how uncomfortable she was. She was sitting between Carlisle and me, but she just couldn't get comfortable.

Charlie jumped into the front beside Emmett, and plugged a police light into the console. "Just in case any State Police are patrolling the roads."

"As quick as you can, Emmett," Carlisle said tensely. He was carefully watching Bella, who was having yet another contraction, the time between each one was dropping fast and I could see concern on his face.

"I can't sit down, shit, it feels like... I don't know what... but I just can't sit down." Bella squirmed and shuffled around on the seat.

"We won't be long, Bells," Charlie told her calmly. "This jeep is in it's element, and Emmett's going to get you there in no time."

The roads did get trickier, it was after eleven on a Saturday night, so there had been little traffic to keep the snow from settling and Emmett had to slow down more and more to keep the jeep moving.

What should have been a ten minute drive, was taking much, much longer. The contractions seemed to roll into one another, and I was scared to fucking death that we were not going to make it to the hospital.

"Keep breathing in and out slowly, Bella. I know it's difficult, but try to keep calm. Nothing is going to happen. I promise you won't have this baby here. We're almost there, another five minutes, and you'll be in the hospital," Carlisle did a great job at reassuring Bella. His voice was calm, and sounded so sincere. I could see his face, however, and I knew he wasn't as confident as he was making out.

"I can't sit... I really fucking can't sit down. I need to stand up, or kneel... anything else but sit..."

"What does that mean?" I asked Carlisle, frantically.

"It just means Bella wants to stand up, don't worry, Edward. It's just her body telling her what to do," Carlisle told me, and then asked, "Bella, do you feel any pressure or urges to push?"

She shook her head, and said, "No."

That seemed to appease Carlisle, who sighed in relief. "That's good. As soon as we get to the hospital, you can do whatever feels more comfortable."

Finally, after what seemed like hours and hours, Emmett rolled slowly to a halt outside the emergency doors to the hospital. Carlisle went in ahead of us, and Charlie and I helped Bella from the jeep.

"Fuck me, now I'm standing up, it feels even fucking worse." She grabbed my arm, and pressed her head into my chest as she tried to breathe her way through another contraction.

I rubbed her back and could do nothing else but wait until it subsided. "We're here now, love. You can have whatever pain relief you like."

A nurse brought out a wheelchair, but Bella shook her head. "I can't sit down... I'd rather walk... please?"

The nurse nodded, but she walked behind Bella, the chair in place should she fall back or decide she wanted to sit down. Luckily the walk to the maternity ward was relatively short, and they were obviously ready for us, because we were shown straight into a private room and a doctor joined us within a matter of minutes.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Forrester. Dr. Taylor has been snowed in I'm afraid, so I'll be delivering your baby. I know you're in some discomfort, but I am going to need you to lie back on the bed for me, Mrs. Cullen, so I can check your progress and make sure the baby is coping with the labor."

Bella did as she was asked, and after checking the baby's heart beat and position, the doctor examined my wife and asked me to press the call button at the head of the bed.

"Well, I can see why you were so uncomfortable, Mrs. Cullen, baby is almost ready to make an appearance. We just need to prepare the room and change you into a gown, and then we can start getting you to push." The doctor smiled and I just gawked at her in disbelief.

"Already? It's barely been a few hours... shouldn't it take longer than this?" I asked.

"Usually, yes—much longer, but every woman is different, Sir, and your wife appears to have handled things beautifully so far." He smiled at Bella and added, "If you feel any urges to bear down then give me a shout and do what your body is telling you to do. We'll be right here with you."

I couldn't quite grasp it—my wife was having a baby... right now. This was without a doubt not what either of us had anticipated when we woke up this morning.

"Holy motherfucking shit," I mumbled. "Wow."

"Hey... wait a fucking minute, if I'm about to give birth does that mean I can't have any pain relief?" Bella asked.

"It is too late for the majority of our analgesia I'm afraid," Dr. Forrester said, and I heard Bella groan. "I'm sure you'll be perfectly fine. You've managed to cope wonderfully with the pain so far."

"I don't want to cope with the fucking pain, Doctor. I want to get rid of the motherfuck... um... sorry. I... um...was just hoping for the epidural," she said and looked at him hopefully.

Dr. Forrester shook his head and told us, "It's much too late for that now, I expect you'll have your baby in your arms before the hour is out."

This was too much and things were happening far too fucking quickly for me to get my head around. I'd prepared myself for a marathon stint at the hospital with Bella. After all, that was all we heard from people—their horror stories about forty-eight hour labors progressing at snail's pace through each stage, before finally having to agree to a forceps delivery because they were too exhausted to continue.

"Holy motherfucking shit," I said again, and I was surprised to hear Bella offer a weak giggle.

"You motherfucking thief! That's my word, and now that I can't have any drugs to help with the pain. It means I'm going to be saying it at every single opportunity." She squeezed my hand. "I'm so fucking scared, Edward... I've got to push a person out of my body."

I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "You'll be perfect, love. I'll be here with you all the way... I can't wait to see the head com-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa... what the fuck? You are not going _down there_... no fucking way, Edward. You are under strict orders to stay north of my motherfucking waist... right?" She glared at me but I shook my head defiantly.

"I'm sorry, but that is not something I'm prepared to miss. I want to see our baby being born... please don't ask me to miss it?"

Bella didn't get chance to respond, because as the next contraction began so did her urge to push, and the room became a flurry of activity. Dr. Forrester and the nurses encouraged Bella with each contraction, urging her to "push, push, push."

"Come on, love, push as hard as you can... keep going... harder," I urged and she growled at me.

"What the hell do you think I'm doing? I don't usually walk around with veins popping out of the side of my damned head—do I?"

The nurses then began telling her to breathe and relax in the brief seconds before the next one started. Her hand squeezed mine with so much force I actually wanted to tell her it was hurting—but given the circumstances I wisely kept my mouth shut. My wife was freakishly strong and I didn't want her fist connecting with my face at this very moment in time.

"Bella, with the next push we'll see the top of baby's head," the doctor told us. "Do you want to see?"

"Yes," I answered quickly ignoring Bella's protests, and stood behind the doctor. As soon as Bella began to push again, I saw a mop of wet, dark hair appear—our baby. "Oh my God, Bella... it's amazing."

"Would you like one o the nurses to hold a mirror so you can see, Bella?" the doctor asked.

"Are you fucking kidding? No I don't want to see that!" she said in horror.

"But you can see-" I began to tell her.

"Get. Your. Motherfucking. Ass. Up. To. My. Head. Cullen!" She growled. "Right now, or I swear I'll cut off your dick with a fucking plastic knife."

None of the nurses batted an eyelid at Bella's language, and with a sheepish chuckle I returned to my place at her side. I was constantly reassuring her that she was doing great, saying how much I loved her, and when the doctor announced the head was out I was almost in tears telling her how close we were to finally meeting this little person. As she pushed one final time, I leaned over the bed and saw our baby being scooped up off the bed by the doctor.

"Here you go, congratulations," he said and carefully handed the baby to Bella. "It's a boy!"

As Bella pulled our son close to her, I moved as close to both of them as I could. My hands were shaking and I could feel the tears rolling down my face as I placed my hand on my son's head. "Hello Anthony," she said to him and I smiled.

"He's so perfect... so fucking perfect, Bella. I love you so much; you've given me more than I ever hoped for. You two are my life, I'll never let anything happen to either of you," I whispered and kissed her cheek, moist with her own tears, and then kissed my son. "I can't believe he's here—I can't quite believe we're parents... it's incredible."

"I love you too, Edward, and even after the motherfucking horror that was childbirth, I seem to have lost the urge to cut off your dick with a plastic knife," Bella said laughing. "I can see how much he looks like you."

"Poor guy, I was quite hoping your genes would be the dominant ones, love."

"It's amazing how much we love him... don't you think? He's only been here a matter of minutes and already it's like he's been here forever. We made him, Edward, how fucking incredible is that?"

It was incredible—so incredible I was lost for words. For a few minutes, we stared in complete awe at this little person who had taken over our thoughts and lives. I was a dad. I had a son.

"You know what?" I said as we handed Anthony to the nurse so she could weigh and measure him. "I think that this is my new best day. Honestly, Bella, this is the happiest day of my fucking life."

~x~

When Bella and Anthony were both cleaned up, we asked the nurse to show our family in. Despite her warnings about only two visitors per bed, Charlie simply announced his presence and our room was full of those closest to us.

Renee and Esme had tears rolling down their faces as they each took turns holding Anthony.

"Oh isn't he the most precious thing you've ever seen, Esme?" Renee gushed and Esme agreed emphatically. "Congratulations to you both."

"Hey there, little guy," Charlie murmured as he cradled his grandson. "You and me are gonna have some great fun when you get a little older."

Markus and Aro even paid us a visit, in more suitable attire I was pleased to notice. Poor Markus was teary the second he stepped into the room, so when Bella handed Anthony to him, he was a blubbering mess.

"Cinderbella, he is the most precious little thing I have ever seen... too adorable for words," Aro whispered.

My parents and brother were as thrilled about our new arrival as the rest of our family, and my father promised they would come over as soon as they could to see their first grandchild. As much as I couldn't wait for them to meet Anthony, I was still cautious of the attention their visit would no doubt draw. I began contemplating Bella and I visiting them in Seattle or another neutral place, just to keep the press away from Forks. There was also my grandfather to consider. He was not really well enough to travel to us, but he would be eager to meet his namesake. So many scenarios began racing through my head, and I was unwilling to deal with all of that now, so I focused my attention back on my wife and son.

As the hours ticked by, and our families made their way home, Bella and I were still utterly captivated by Anthony. We kept him in our room rather than allow him to go to the nursery, citing security concerns as my reason for keeping him with us. The doctor agreed, apart from the medical personnel, no one else needed to know my wife and I were here. We took turns feeding, changing, and holding him.

It was a little after six in the morning, Bella had dozed off, unsurprisingly exhausted by the day's events, and I was sitting in the chair by Bella's bed talking to my son. I told him how I'd met his mommy, how much I loved her and how much she'd changed my life.

"I promise I will give you everything you ever need," I whispered, holding him tightly against my chest. "Everything I couldn't do as a child, I will make sure you have the opportunity to. When you're old enough you can choose whatever path you want, and I swear to God your mommy and I will be right there to support you."

I like to imagine he could understand me, his big eyes open for a few brief minutes before they closed once more.

"And you know, when you're older you can marry whoever you want," I told him.

"Like fucking hell he can." Bella hissed and I chuckled. "I'm serious, Edward, no woman—or man—is ever going to be good enough for him."

"Pay no attention," I whispered and then looked at Bella. "You won't like it when he meets someone, but I know you won't do a thing to interfere."

"Why so confident?" she asked with a scowl. "I can totally see myself interfering, or cutting her brake cables..."

I stood up, carefully sitting beside her on the bed, keeping Anthony close to both of us. "Because you know if my father hadn't intervened and given me the opportunity to choose this life and you, we wouldn't be here now."

"Oh no, is the King of Cheese about to show his face?" she teased, her eyes starting to droop again.

"Yup, afraid so, Bella," I said and kissed her forehead. "Go to sleep, love."

"You haven't slept since Friday night," she objected weakly. "Don't you want to sleep for an hour or two?"

"Bella, I don't give a shit about sleeping," I said softly. "There are only two things I want in the entire world, and I've got them both right here."

Bella mumbled something about me being a cheesy motherfucker and then quickly fell asleep.

I honestly don't know how long I sat on the bed with my wife and son; an hour? Maybe less, maybe more. I thought about what was in store for the three of us in the next few months. Would the press find out?

_Silly question, Edward. Those motherfuckers are relentless, and no doubt someone in Forks is going to be straight on the phone as soon as word gets around our son is here. Great! The motherfucking press are going to be back in Forks, turning our lives around once again. They'll be fighting over who gets the first picture of the baby—who had things turned out a little differently—could have been King one day. Blood-sucking motherfuckers had no chance! Let them try and get through me or the rest of my family._

Anthony moved in my arms, and then his little mouth opened into a yawn. I held him closer to me and kissed the top of his head.

_Fuck it! Let the motherfuckers come. It doesn't even matter—nothing else matters but my family. We've been through much, much worse and we'll come through whatever is coming our way. _

"Amen to that," Bella murmured, and I looked at her in confusion. She peeked at me with one eye open, still half-asleep.

"Huh?"

She laughed. "Out loud, baby. You said all of that out loud."

Well, it had to happen sometime, right?

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

****Sniffs** And that's... sort of that! I will post a few outtakes & maybe a future take at some point but I'm not sure when exactly. So if you have any POV's you might like to read, feel free to let me know :) **

**Thanks yo everyone who has been reading and reviewing, I honestly can't tell you how fantastic you guys have been! I've had so much fun writing this, although I have developed a worrying obsession with the word _motherfucker_... ;)**

**Prettyflour, Jaime Arkin & Twifanmom have been wonderful and such a huge help making this fic so much better.**

**I have started a few new things, so if you might be interested in reading them maybe add me to author alert? It's up to you :D**

**Anyway, it's bye for now!**

**Loads of love,**

**Katy**

**xoxo**


	27. Chapter 27  Outtake 1

**Thanks to Prettyflour for prereading and to Twifanmom for beta'ing :D**

**A Life With A Royal Staff Outtake 1**

**EPOV**

I sighed as I parked outside the school. There they were, the horny housewives as my wife had taken to naming them. The women who liked to ignore the fact I was very happily married and still descended on me like dogs in heat whenever I turned up at school to collect my son. Usually, Bella and I did the school run together, but Thursday's and Friday's I was here alone while my wife worked.

After Anthony was born, Buckingham Palace released a brief statement confirming the birth of my son but pleaded with the press to respect my privacy. They didn't listen and naturally, they arrived in Forks once again, making life especially difficult for the first few months. They harassed the other residents in the town and tried to get as many people as they could to talk about my life, my wife, and my son.

This time no exclusive interview with Ben Cheney would satisfy the curiosity of the world. People wanted to see Anthony, and at first there was no way I was letting that happen. Charlie and the rest of Forks PD had arrested several photographers from our property and still they kept coming. So, I talked to my father and his public relations team; we agreed to release one picture of Anthony to the media in the hope it would ease the curiosity.

Initially, the press remained in Forks trying to snap a photo of my family. But, as it had done before, the attention eventually subsided and we were able to return to_ our_ normal way of life. Occasionally, a reporter or two would try and dig up new stories on me, but the close-knit community of Forks always had my back and the reporters usually left empty handed.

Finding time to work on new music was difficult, but thankfully Bella and I were able to stay home and enjoy We got to experience our son's first smile, his first word, and his first steps. Being a dad was so much more than I had ever hoped it would be. The little man utterly captivated the both of us and I had never felt as complete.

After Anthony turned two, however, Bella was offered a part time job at Forks High School teaching Literature and she jumped at the chance. I could write and play the piano whenever I liked, so for the two days Bella went to work, I stayed at home with Anthony. I loved having the one on one time with him—it was something I hadn't really experienced as a child with my parents. Time flew by, and all too soon we were taking him for his first day at school.

On his first day, he looked so excited. He had my untamable hair, but his mother's big brown eyes and such a cheeky face and personality that he could manipulate anyone he wanted. The teachers loved him, the boys all wanted to be his friend, and as much as Bella hated the idea, he already had girls following him around like the Pied Piper. What did worry me was how much he enjoyed the attention at just five years old.

When I was alone, I always arrived to collect Anthony from school with only seconds before the bell rang and a stampede of kids fled the building. I didn't particularly want my son seeing the other mothers flirting brazenly with me, and I also feared for my marriage if it continued. One thing that had never changed in all these years was my wife's temper. After Anthony had mentioned all of the ladies talking to me and looking at my ass outside class whenever Bella wasn't there, she had threatened to, and I quote, "Open a can of motherfucking whoop ass on all those motherfucking sluts who need to learn to keep their motherfucking eyes to themselves."

I loved my wife but I had no doubt she would end up in jail for assault.

Usually, Anthony was one of the first ones to come tearing outside, always giving me his cheeky lopsided, grin and launching into a detailed description of how his day had gone. But not today. Today he was nowhere to be seen.

When the last few kids had left the class, and I was starting to worry, I noticed a lady I hadn't seen before, emerge from the classroom and she beckoned me inside.

"This can't be good," I grumbled, and with a sigh I approached the classroom.

"Mr. Cullen? Anthony's father?" she asked. I saw her eyes give me a quick glance-over and she flashed a smile which, was a little_ too_ friendly, if you know what I mean.

"Yes," I told her. "Is there a problem, Mrs...?"

"Oh no, Mr. Cullen, I'm not married," she said seductively. "My name is Miss. Tanner; I'm covering for Mrs. White today, but please call me Bree, Mr. Cullen."

I saw Anthony sitting cross-legged on the carpet with a glum expression, one which brightened somewhat when he noticed me. "Hey buddy," I said and smiled. "What are you doing on the carpet?"

"I have to sit here and think about what I did. I acted impotently." He sighed in frustration and huffed, "What does that even mean, Dad?"

"Impotently?" I asked. "Miss. Tanner?"

She laughed and shook her head. "_Inappropriately,_ Anthony."

"Still don't know what that means," he muttered and he folded his arms across his chest. "School sucks balls."

"Anthony," I hissed. "Sorry, he gets cranky at the end of the day. Please, tell me what he did that was inappropriate."

"Well," she said, and gestured to the carpet. I followed her closer to Anthony. "One of the subjects we are covering on the curriculum is origins. In class today we were discussing where we all come from, because obviously, we try to educate the children about the diversity of our backgrounds. Anthony was extremely enthusiastic and eager to answer the question, which I was pleased to see, so I asked him to tell me about his family."

"Okay," I said.

"He explained that half of his family was from the United States, and the other half were British." She looked at me and smiled again. "It was very interesting, so I asked him where his British family lived-"

"I told her that one of my grandpa's lived in Buckingham Palace, Dad," Anthony interrupted. "But_ she_ didn't believe me." He sighed and Miss. Tanner held her finger to her lips.

"Now, Anthony, this is a conversation I need to have with your daddy. No interrupting please," she told him and turned back to me, stepping closer. "Unfortunately, no one at the school had explained beforehand that Anthony Cullen was_ your_ son and I will admit I thought he was telling lies."

"That is understandable, but if you know he was telling the truth why have you kept him behind?" I quizzed.

"Mr. Cullen, my teaching assistant set me straight almost immediately after I questioned Anthony. It was purely his reaction afterward that made me keep him behind. I feel it has to be addressed with a parent."

_Oh dear._

"What was his reaction?" I asked reluctantly, and rubbed the back of my neck, bracing myself for her answer.

"Well...it isn't something we hear regularly from children of this age," she began. "Anthony said..."

"I said, 'Haha, take that. I told you I was telling the truth, Cocksucker,'" he said proudly.

"Anthony," I sighed. "I'm terribly sorry, Miss. Tanner. I assure you, his mother and I will speak to him about it."

I squatted down in front of him and ruffled his hair. "You know that's a bad word, kiddo. We've talked about this."

"Sorry, Dad," Anthony said, his big eyes looking remorseful all of a sudden. "Please don't be mad."

"What are we going to do with you?" I asked. "What on earth will Mom say?"

"When I called Uncle Emmett a shithead, she said she'd sew my mouth shut if I said a bad word again." he told me in a serious voice, and I cringed. "Will she do that?"

"Of course not." I shook my head and looked up at Miss. Tanner. "She was only joking." I stood and pulled Anthony to his feet. "Come on, little fella, let's get you home."

"I won't mention this to the principal on this occasion." Miss. Tanner placed her hand on my arm and said, "I also do private tutoring. If you ever need any extra help with Anthony's behaviour, I'd love to be of assistance."

"That won't be necessary," I said curtly and shook my arm free.

"My mom is a teacher," Anthony said deliberately. "She's awesome and helps me all the time, doesn't she Dad?"

"She does," I said.

"Yeah, she's better than you," he added quietly and I shushed him quickly. "What, Dad? Mom is loads better. I hope Mrs. White is back tomorrow."

"Okay, well if you ever reconsider, here's my card." She held out a card in my direction but I didn't take it. "It's important that behaviour issues are addressed early in a child's development."

"Goodbye, Miss. Tanner," I said. As soon as we were in the car, I groaned, "Cocksucker? Anthony, really? You had to say that?"

"Sorry, Dad," he mumbled. "I hate it when people don't believe me and I really didn't like her."

"We've talked about this, haven't we?" I asked him and he nodded. "There'll always be people who don't believe you, and people who you don't like, but you_ can't_ go around calling them cocksuckers."

"Mom does it," he argued. "And Nana Esme says it_ all_ the time."

"Well, I'll speak to your Mom and Nana about that. You're lucky Miss. Tanner didn't go straight to the principal. You could have been in a lot of trouble, Anthony," I said, trying my hardest to be stern.

"I know. I promise I won't do it again." He sighed and looked out of the window.

"Somehow, I doubt that," I muttered. "You are far too much like your mother."

~x~

Bella arrived home about an hour after us. Anthony ran straight up to her for a cuddle.

"Hey, Mom," he said happily. "We're going to have dinner at Nana Esme's later right?"

"Yeah, of course sweetie," she told him and let him pull her across the kitchen to me. "Hey, baby," she whispered.

"Aw, are you two gonna kiss again?" Anthony grumbled and I laughed. "It's gross you know. Can I go and watch TV?"

"Sure, Buddy," I said and as soon as he left the room, I wrapped my arms around Bella and kissed her. Keeping her close to me I said, "I was pulled to one side by Anthony's substitute teacher this afternoon."

"Oh fuck," she moaned and put her hands over her face. "What did he do?"

"Called his teacher a cocksucker because she didn't believe his grandpa lived in Buckingham Palace." I couldn't help but smile and Bella giggled.

"I know I shouldn't laugh...but I swear that kid kills me," she said. "Did you talk to him about it?"

I nodded and we went to sit with Anthony. "I was just telling Mom about what you said in class today."

"Aw, Dad. Why did you have to tell her?" he grumbled. "Miss. Tanner was acting like a ho', Mom," he added and I almost choked.

"Anthony, Jesus, enough with words like that," I told him, utterly exasperated and then saw Bella was fuming.

"How did she act?" she asked, and Anthony smiled smugly that the attention was no longer focused on his bad behaviour.

"She kept touching him and laughing at stuff that wasn't funny," he said._ "And_ she tried to give him her telephone number."

"What?" Bella glared at me and I laughed.

"She offered a card—which I didn't take—for private tutoring if we ever need it," I said. "Are you going all jealous on me, Love?"

"Absofuckinglutely," she growled. "I don't think you should go to school any more. Those damned women are far too frisky. I mean don't they know what a motherfucking wedding band is, for Christ's sake?"

~x~

Once a week we always went to Esme and Carlisle's for dinner. We had done it for years and I expected it was a tradition that would remain for years to come. Although, Esme had needed to replace the dining table with a larger one as our families began to grow.

Anthony had been the first grandchild in the family, but Alice and Jasper's daughter, Mary, was born less than a year later. Both sets of grandparents doted on our kids and offered to take care of them as often as they could. Renee and Charlie looked after Mary as often as they did Anthony. It didn't matter that they weren't related officially, Mary still called then Nana Renee and Grandpa Charlie.

Anthony and Mary were inseparable. And by inseparable I mean, my son was usually leading his poor little cousin astray. Mary was a tom-boy through and through. She hated dolls and wanted to play soldiers. The pair of them would cover their faces in mud and leaves for camouflage and hunt bad guys in the garden. We all agreed Mary could kick a ball better than her father and she had an obsession with climbing trees. Despite the fact she was always scraping her hands and knees playing rough and tumble with Anthony, the only time she ever cried was if Alice tried to put her in pretty dresses.

Now Anthony was about halfway into his first full year I thought it would be the perfect time for another addition to our family, but Bella, for the moment wasn't convinced. Changing her mind had become one of my priorities. I'd hoped the fact another little baby was due to be born in a matter of weeks might have made her more willing, but so far no luck.

"That's it. I am going to see my OB/GYN first thing in the morning and I am telling that son of a bitch to get this goddamn baby out of me before it grows any more. Did you watch the part where the fucking head came out? Did you see what it did to her vagina? Did you? And YOU, Emmett, you had better book in for a vasectomy because I swear to God I am never going through this again." A very angry and very pregnant Rose burst through the front door, stormed into the kitchen and marched straight over to the refrigerator. "If you don't get it done I'll do it, Emmett. I'll do it with a motherfucking axe when you're asleep."

Emmett followed her sheepishly. "Come on, Rosie. Don't be like that. It's a magical thing, remember?"

"Magical?" she shrieked. "Let's shove a football up your ass and have you try and push it out shall we? You'll be singing a different fucking tune then, boy."

The rest of us were sitting at the table, quietly watching the scene unfold in amusement. Pregnancy had definitely made Rose even more aggressive and terrifying than usual. Poor Emmett didn't stand a chance.

"Um, Rose," Bella said cautiously. "My son got into trouble at school today for cussing. Maybe you could tone it down a little?"

"Sorry, Bella." She stuffed some cheese into her mouth and sat beside my wife at the table. "It was the last of our parenting classes this evening. They showed us a birthing video...how the fuck did you do it?"

"Rose, language, please." Bella sighed, and then said, "It hurt like hell, Rose, but I didn't have time for drugs remember. Alice had the epidural and she was fine."

"Yeah, but I remember how big Anthony's head was, Bella. Mary was a tiny little thing compared to Anthony and the thought of that coming out of my vagina is terrifying. I bet sex is never the same again."

"It isn't?" Emmett asked quickly, and I snickered.

"Mom, what's a vagina?" Anthony asked innocently.

The table fell silent and Bella glared at Rose. "It's just part of a girl's body, sweetie."

He thought about her answer for a minute and then the questions continued, "Do I have a vagina?"

I heard some people, Emmett and Jasper probably, try to disguise their laughter with coughs and I groaned.

"Oh god," Bella muttered, taking a deep breath. "No, only girls do. You'll learn all about it when you're older, Anthony. I promise."

"That's not fair," he grumbled. "I want a vagina. Why can't I have a vagina, Dad?"

The snickers around the table grew louder, but no one offered to help out with the answer. I looked at Bella who just shook her head.

"Look, Anthony. Girls have...um...parts...that boys don't have, and boys have parts that girls don't." I hoped my vague answer would be enough, but unfortunately that wasn't the case.

Anthony cocked his head and asked, "You mean like I have a peepee? I get a peepee and girls get vaginas?"

"Yep, that's it buddy," I said and he nodded.

"Why do I have a peepee and girls get vaginas then, Dad?"

"I'm a girl. Does that mean I have a vagina, Uncle Edward?" Mary asked and Jasper's face turned pale immediately. "Daddy, can't I have a peepee?"

"You're so fucking dead," Jasper hissed at Rose.

"I could ask Santa for one?" she offered hopefully and Alice whimpered.

"Yeah, Dad, should we ask Santa?" Anthony nodded.

"You're too young right now to understand, Anthony. But, when you're older your mom can explain it all to you. I promise." I ignored the death-glare I felt coming from Bella.

"But I wanna know now, Dad," he whined, and I tugged at my hair in frustration.

"Anthony stop being a brat-" I began.

"Hey, kid, shall we go and turn on the lights on the cruiser?" Charlie piped up and Anthony nodded vigorously. "Do you want to come, Mary?"

"Ooh, yes please," she squeaked. "Can I hold your badge, Grandpa?"

"Sure," he agreed.

I sighed in relief as Anthony bounced from the table and squealed with excitement. "Thanks, Charlie."

"For the love of God, please let the talk of vaginas and peepees be finished when I bring them back inside." He followed the kids outside and the rest of our family burst out laughing.

"Rose, I swear to God, I am getting you back for this conversation," Bella growled. "I will show your kid and all its friends those photos of you dressed as a giant condom in London. If my son ever says the word vagina again before he's twelve I will hold you responsible."

"It's not my fault, it's these fucking hormones," Rose argued. "I just want this kid out of me."

"Oh, it won't be long, dear," Esme said sympathetically. "A few more weeks and you'll get your body back."

"Unless you breastfeed like I did, and then you have a person attached to your chest all day, every day." Alice sighed.

"Alice, I'm married to your brother. You do realise I have a grown man attached to my chest all day every day anyway," Rose said. "Emmett is obsessed with my damned tits."

"Too right," he said proudly. "They're even bigger now than they were before. It's cool as fuck."

"I don't think Dad is going to like this subject any better than vaginas and peepees," Bella said. "It's bad enough my son called his teacher a cocksucker today. I really don't want him telling anybody we talk about grown men and a pregnant woman's tits. They'll send child services around to check up on us."

"He did what?" Renee asked. "Why?"

"Long story," I muttered. "But I really don't want it to happen again, so can we please watch our language around him?"

"Hey, Alice, when Mary starts school next year, look out for a stand-in teacher called Miss. Tanner. She's a dirty little slut who tries it on with married men," Bella said. "I swear to God, if I ever see her at school I'm going to kick her ass to fucking China."

"Bella, I meant you too," I said. "You have to stop with the swearing, Anyway, you know there is no reason at all for you to be jealous of the teacher, baby,"

"But she has to defend her territory," Renee told me. "Remember how you acted when Paul Lahote came sniffing around, Edward?"

"He's always sniffing around," I grumbled. "That guy can't resist pissing me off as far as Bella's concerned."

"I haven't seen him in months," Bella scoffed.

"Yeah not since you ripped the shit out of him for squeezing your ass," Rose laughed. "That was fucking awesome."

"Hold on, since he did what?" I looked at Bella and she blushed. "Why am I only hearing about this now, Bella?"

"Thanks, Rose." She sighed and reached out to take my hand. "Don't get your panties in a twist, Edward. It was the night out we had in Port Angeles before Rose got pregnant. We bumped into him in a bar and he'd had too much to drink. He_ tried_ squeezing my ass, and I threatened to tell Dad he'd been sexually harassing me. If he sees me coming now he turns and goes in the other direction." Bella giggled. "Don't be jealous. I didn't want you reacting like this, so I didn't tell you. It's not a big deal."

"Why the hell was he trying to squeeze your ass in the first place? The motherfucker knows you're married to me-"

"Um, Edward," Bella tried to say but I cut her off.

"No, Bella. Don't defend him. He's a jumped up little fucking prick who needs reminding of basic principles. Ex-girlfriend or not, you're married now—to me and he needs to keep his motherfucking hands to himself. If he ever tries that shit with you again, you tell me, and I'm going to tell Charlie that_ Officer Lahote_ was happy to take his daughter's virginity in the back seat of his Cruiser and let him kick his goddamn, motherfucking arse into the next life. Motherfucking arsehole—who the hell does he think he is touching_ my_ wife?" I took a breath and relaxed into my chair. "That feels better."

I expected someone to remark on my tirade. But surprisingly everyone was quiet. Bella was blushing a deep shade of red, and Emmett was shaking his head at me.

"What?" I asked, and Jasper inclined his head to the door behind me.

I looked slowly over my shoulder and saw Anthony and Mary standing on either side of Charlie—their mouths hanging open in shock. Their grandfather was turning more and more purple with every passing second and I swear I saw his hand twitch to where he usually had his gun holstered.

Charlie didn't say anything. He just walked calmly over to the table and sat down. Everyone watched nervously as he took a drink on his beer.

"Are you okay, honey?" Renee asked cautiously.

"Mm hm," he replied.

"Sorry, Dad. It was a long time-" Bella said but he held his hand up to stop her talking.

"Esme, any chance we can eat now?" he asked. "I haven't had a thing to eat all day."

"Of course, I'll serve it right away." Esme said quickly, and hurried to bring the food out.

I leaned close to my wife and whispered, "Thanks for the heads up, love."

"I tried to stop you," Bella hissed. "But you ignored me. Thirteen years I kept that from him and you had to spill your guts in front of everybody just because my ex touched my ass."

"You're exactly the same with the women at school," I told her. "I am sorry though." I pressed my lips to her cheek and felt her smile. "I can't seem to control my inner-caveman as far as you're concerned."

"I happen to like it when you get all jealous and cavemanish." She giggled. "I'm sure I'll reap the rewards in bed later."

"You bet you will, love."

Charlie continued to remain strangely quiet for the rest of dinner. He did join in the conversation when prompted, but otherwise he sat with a strange look on his face. I felt bad, it was my rant, after all, that had sent him quiet and weird.

"Charlie, I'm sorry for what you heard," I said. "I was just extremely angry with Paul. He seems to have issues with boundaries as far as Bella is concerned."

"What did he do, Daddy?" Anthony asked. "Do I need to kick his ass for being bad to Mom?"

"The only one kicking Lahote's ass around here will be yours truly," Charlie said. "And believe me, when I'm done with the man he won't be sitting down for the rest of his life."

"Dad," Bella groaned. "Let's just forget about it, huh?"

The look on Charlie's face told me he absolutely wouldn't forget about it, and I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't utterly delighted with that fact.

After dinner was finished, Anthony took Mary to watch a DVD while we cleared up the table. They were still watching it when it was time to leave.

"Can't I watch the end, Dad?" Anthony asked and I shook my head.

"Not tonight," I said.

"Unless you want to sleep here, Anthony?" Esme offered and his face lit up.

"Can I? Dad, please can I?"

"If you want to, sure," I told him. "But you have to be really good."

"He's always good." Carlisle smiled. "What about you, Mary, do you want to sleep over?"

"Yes please," she answered.

"That's settled then," Carlisle said happily. "A night in with my two favourite grandchildren."

"We're your only ones, silly," Anthony giggled. "Until the one in Aunt Rose's tummy comes out."

"You kids go and enjoy a night to yourselves. It's not too late to go out for a drink or catch a movie in Port Angeles," Esme told us.

After saying goodnight to Anthony and Mary, Jasper and Alice followed us outside.

"That's a great idea." Alice trilled. "Shall we go and see a movie or have a drink?"

"Not a fucking chance of either happening. I'm getting my husband straight home to bed so I can enjoy his inner caveman all night—alone." Bella smirked.

"Yeah, sorry guys, but I'm in complete agreement with my wife," I said and all but towed her to the car. "Maybe next time."

I loved my son, loved him to death and wouldn't change him for the world, but this time alone with Bella was something I admit I missed. The short drive home seemed to take forever and I was bursting out of my jeans in anticipation. The effect she had on me hadn't tapered off over the past few years, and I hoped that would always be the case.

The second I cut the engine, I was out of the car and to her door in a flash. I kissed her immediately and backed her towards the house without stopping. I fumbled with the key in the lock and cursed when I dropped it.

"Damn it," I growled and reluctantly pulled away from Bella to pick it up from the ground.

When I finally got the door open, Bella placed her hands on my chest and shoved me roughly towards the kitchen table, yanking my shirt over my head at the same time.

"I thought we were releasing my inner-caveman, love," I chuckled as she turned her attention to the belt on my jeans. "It seems we have a role reversal going on here."

"You're mine," she whispered simply. "And those sluts at school need to keep their paws off you."

"Always you, Bella. You should know that," I told her. Putting my hands on her face, I tilted her head upwards and kissed her. I spun us around and she jumped up to sit on the table. "Take this off," I ordered and she held up her arms so I could pull her shirt up.

Her pants and my jeans were gone in quick succession, and Bella's legs wrapped tightly around my waist. "Now, Edward, please."

I nodded and positioned myself so I could move inside in one swift motion. Bella moaned loudly and for one split second I almost reminded her to be quiet. But not tonight. Tonight there was no Anthony pretending to be asleep in the next room. There was no one to hear us, and tonight I had every intention of making her scream.

"Harder, Edward, harder," she panted, her voice sounding as desperate as I was. I obliged and moved forward hard and fast. "Oh fuck, yes, just like that..."

I pulled her to the very edge of the table and continued to pound into her. The more she began to scream, the harder it was to keep from coming and I so wasn't ready for this to be over.

"Jesus, Bella," I moaned. "Shit, that feels good."

"So close, baby." She dug her nails into my shoulders. "Don't stop."

"I can't...I need you to...Bella," I couldn't speak and I released my hold on her with one hand.

Trying my utmost to keep going, I rubbed on her clit and felt her squirm beneath me. "Fuck, Edward."

I felt her orgasm before I heard her. She tightened around my dick and the sensation was too much for me. I came hard, with a loud groan, my knees were shaking like crazy and I had to use the table to keep me on my feet.

"You okay, baby? You're trembling," Bella murmured and I nodded.

"I just need a minute, that was incredible. Wow."

She ran her hands languidly up and down my back, sending shivers down my spine. Her legs still had me in their grasp and neither of us made any attempt to move.

"What time is it?" she whispered and I craned my neck to look at the clock on the oven.

"Almost ten," I told her. "Why? I hope you didn't time me." I frowned at her and she laughed.

"Don't be silly. We've probably got another twelve hours before we go and get Anthony. I was just thinking where else we could do that." She grinned.

"How about every room in the house?" I offered.

"Sounds like a plan," she said. "Let's start with the shower?"

"Definitely a good place to start," I said, pressing my mouth to hers. "I love you."

"Love you too. We have an entire night of no interruptions and with no need to be quiet."

And right on cue, the phone began to ring. "You had to go and jinx it, Bella." I said.

"Let the machine get it." She kissed me again, and I did exactly as she asked.

I listened as the recording kicked in, and smiled as the sound of Anthony's voice echoed in the kitchen.

"_Hello, this is Anthony M. Cullen and me, my mom and my dad can't answer your call because we're not here. Leave a message and I'll call you back...well my mom or dad will call 'cause I'm only four. Over and out."_

The beep sounded and then I knew our night was officially over.

"Hey guys, it's Em. Um...sorry to call so late, but Rose's water just broke and she's going fucking nuts. We're on our way to the hospital, please, please, please come—she's scaring the shit out of me." My cousin did indeed sound terrified. "Seriously, man, she's looking at me like a psychopath. I fear for my life right now."

The call ended and I looked at Bella. "What do you think? Save my cousin or stay here and ignore the message."

"Call him back and tell him we'll be right there...after we take a shower." She let me pull her to her feet. "I'm happy to be there for my friend when she needs me, but she can wait just a little longer."

"Get your ass upstairs while I call him back."

She giggled and scurried upstairs. I called Emmett and told him we'd be there as quickly as we could. I could hear Rose shouting and cursing in the background and figured the longer we took the more likely it was she'd have drugs in her system by the time we got there.

"Edward, where the fuck are you?" Bella yelled. "Get up here right now."

As it turned out, it took us a lot longer to get to the hospital and although we apologised to Rose, I wasn't sorry in the slightest.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thank you for coming back to read this! It was so much fun to play with these guys again :D Hopefully it didn't disappoint. I will continue where this outtake left off, but not sure when I'll get chance to make a start!**

**If you're looking for something fun, hot, and quick to read...I floved The Purple Banana Hammock by TheFicChick. Definitely worth reading!**

**Anyway, bye for now!**

**Katy**

**xx**


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